by K. L. Myers
“I haven’t forgotten, Brax. I know this is hard for you, but what if that was the hospital trying to reach you? What if something was wrong and they needed you? It’s not just you that you need to think about anymore. Yes, you’ve been dealt a shitty hand. And under normal circumstances I’d say you have all rights to get piss-faced. But not this time. No, not when you have a child you need to think about. Everything from here on out is on your shoulders. Grow up, Braxton. You’ve had your moment of mourning, now sober up.”
Braxton brushed his hands through his hair. she was right. This was just another reason why he wouldn’t be a good parent. He hadn’t thought about his daughter. Only of himself—about getting drunk and forgetting everything.
“I’m not cut out for this, Paisley. I’m going to be a horrible father. I’m all alone, with no one to help me. She’d be better off without me.” As Braxton said the words, he knew he didn’t mean them. But it felt good to get it out there in the open. Paisley would be honest with him. And if she agreed, he’d figure out what to do about it in the morning.
The wrinkles at the edges of her eyes began to smooth out and her brows relaxed, no longer bunched together. The sofa dipped beside Braxton and Paisley rubbed her hand up and down his back soothing him.
“Brax, you know I’ll always have your best interest in mind and I’ll never lie to you. So, listen to me and try to remember this tomorrow when you sober up. You’re not going to be a bad father. You just need to remember that you have to make decisions based on someone other than you now.”
Paisley stopped rubbing his back. Her soft, gentle hands held both sides of his face, making sure he was looking into her eyes when she continued. “You’re not alone. Paxton and I are here for you. Did you honestly think that we’d abandon you now after all the years we’ve been best friends?” Her eyes darted back and forth, looking into Braxton’s, searching for an answer.
Braxton moved his head slowly from side to side. And then, without thinking, he grabbed her face between his hands and crushed his lips to hers. She returned his kiss, urgently begging for him to deepen it. But just as he tried to push his tongue past her slightly parted lips, she pulled back, breaking their contact.
Standing, Paisley tugged at her shirt attempting to release the wrinkles from where his hand had wandered and mussed it up. “No, Brax. This isn’t right. You’re upset and scared. I’m here to help, but I’m not here to replace Alissa.” She stepped away and fled toward the door.
“Get some sleep,” were the last words she said as the sound of his front door closing echoed through the empty house.
Chapter 14
Paisley stood on the other side of Braxton’s closed door. Her fingers brushed over her lips as she savored the feeling of what it had felt like to be kissed, really kissed, by Braxton.
She wanted to relish the moment, treasure it in her memory bank but she couldn’t. It wasn’t a kiss he’d given because he loved her. It was due to despair, stolen in a moment when everything was wrong and he was scared. She’d wanted to give in. It had felt so right—at least for a second, but then reality kicked in, slapping the conscious part of her brain into action and causing her to pull away.
She was torn inside. Paisley felt like the worst human possible for the thoughts she was thinking. There was part of her that almost felt happy that Alissa was gone, and that part battled with her emotions. It was wrong to feel that way. Alissa had been her friend and business partner, and the future wife to Braxton. And no matter how jealous Paisley had been of Alissa all those years, she didn’t deserve to die.
But then there was the part of Paisley that believed that Alissa’s death opened a door for her and Braxton. A door that maybe someday she’d be able to walk through, to show him that she’d always been there for him. The one and he’d been too blind to see it.
Paisley’s conscience spoke up. STOP IT. Get a grip, Paisley; he isn’t yours. He has never been yours, and you agreed years ago to give up on the fantasy and live your life. He has a daughter now. She’ll be his number one, and there will never be room for you to be anything other than his best friend. It’s time to grow up and be his support system when he needs it, and nothing more.
Paisley straightened her shoulders, held her head high, and walked down the path that led to her car. She would be there if and when she could, as a friend and nothing more. A single tear dropped from her eye, and then it was over. No more tears would be shed for what could never happen between Braxton and her.
Paisley woke to her alarm and greeted the day with one specific purpose in mind; damage control. While personally devastating, Alissa’s loss and Braxton’s new single-parent status could also be professionally damaging if they did not get ahead of the news with their clients. With everything that had happened yesterday, she was sure Braxton had never reached out to Rachel, his assistant. So Paisley was going to do it for him.
Hours and twenty phone calls later, all of Alissa’s clients had been moved to Paxton and Paisley’s schedules.
Braxton’s appointments had been a bit tougher. No one could close a new client like Braxton could—not even one of his aspiring protegees. While he’d successfully coached some great up and coming closers, none of the other staff had the natural skills that Braxton possessed. There was just something about his personality that set new clients at ease. He treated them like they had been his best friend for years, and it wasn’t just a placating gesture. He was always sincere, and clients knew it. Others had tried mirroring his technique, but they’d never pulled it off. Braxton truly did care about each of his clients. His working relationships were more than just the usual account manager and client connections
It was late afternoon before Paisley was able to head to the hospital. She found Braxton in the nursery, sitting in a rocking chair and holding his daughter. The chair swayed to and fro and his head was bowed as he stared into her precious face.
He kissed her tiny head several times. It was like a vise had gripped her heart and squeezed it uncontrollably. She didn’t have the heart to interrupt them, so she stayed put and just witnessed the tender moment before her. She stood there for thirty minutes, out of sight and stealing glances at the bond being built between Braxton and his daughter.
The younger Paisley would have known exactly what Braxton was feeling. But the older her, could only imagine. It saddened her to think how much they’d grown apart. She found herself reflecting on the past, remembering what the two of them had been like, and how close they’d been. Whatever happened to the carefree friends who let nothing come between them?
She wasn’t sure how long she zoned out for, but the sound of tapping on the glass pulled her back to reality. She raised her blue eyes to meet Braxton’s green, and a feeling she hadn’t dared to embrace filled her heart. Oh, how she could get lost in those eyes of his all over again. He stood before her holding his daughter, a smile on his face that warmed her heart like a bright summer day. A smile that last night she’d worried might never shine again.
Chapter 15
Braxton rocked his daughter back and forth as she stared up at him. Her tiny face was full of wonder, oblivious to everything that had happened. Oh, what it would be like to not have a care in the world. The binkie between her lips jostled up and down as she sucked on it, soothing her until she was almost asleep. And for just a brief moment, as he got lost in her calm, everything seemed as if it would work out just fine.
“You’re my little caterpillar now, sweet girl. And someday you’ll turn into a butterfly like your Aunt Paisley,” Braxton told his daughter.
Her twinkling green eyes fluttered open at the words, and she peered back at him, blinking several times before she closed them again. Braxton bent his head as he raised his daughter slightly, smelling her soft powdery scent. Just one little sniff and his heart had melted.
“Hey there, caterpillar,” he whispered in her ear as he tucked her against his chest, laying her head on his shoulder. “You need a name, don’t you?
” Her infant chest raised as she took in a deep breath, then lightly fell. His hand instinctively began to pat her teeny bottom. “You’re a miracle,” he told her. “Too bad I can’t name you miracle. I don’t want all the kids making fun of you. You’re already going to be handicapped with me as your… Yeah, let’s skip ‘miracle’ and find you something just as grand.”
The rocking chair moved in a smooth motion. His body had been a bundle of nerves about being there alone with his tiny six-pound bundle of joy. But the moment he began swaying back and forth with his little girl, his nerves went away.
He and Alissa had discussed calling her Jade, but it just didn’t feel right. She didn’t look like a Jade to him. She definitely was not a Bridgette or a Jennifer. Those were the other names Alissa had liked. But none of them fit. He closed his eyes and silently begged for guidance.
Despite his grief, Braxton had felt fulfilled when this little one had entered the world. Maybe he should name her after her mom.
“Alissa.” He tested the sound as it fell from his lips. No, he couldn’t call her that and not feel the emptiness inside him each time. It would be a constant reminder of what he’d lost when he gained this precious gem.
“Gemma.” Nope, that didn’t work either. He tried to clear his mind, hoping that by doing so, something would pop into it. But all he found was vast emptiness, and it frustrated him.
A tiny whimper made its way to his ear. “Shhh,” Braxton cooed softly, offering his little girl the security she needed to feel at ease. It wasn’t long before he began to hum “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.”
An idea came to him. And it was the best name ever.
“Emmersyn. Emmersyn Ivey Michaels.” He tried the name several times. The name Emmersyn meant brave, powerful, and a born leader. Braxton was confident that his little girl would grow up to be all of those things, if he had anything to say about it. He’d already had the idea that her middle name could be Alissa’s last name. He smiled. Her name, was perfect and beautiful just as she was. I can call her Emmy for short.
“Mr. Michaels, you’ve got a visitor and it’s feeding time.”
Jane, the afternoon-shift nurse, stood before him, holding a bottle and pointing toward the glass. Paisley was poised there, almost out of sight. How long has she been there?
“She’s been there for a bit, Mr. Michaels.”
He reached to take the bottle from Jane’s hand but hesitated for a second before saying his daughter’s name again.
“Emmersyn Ivey Michaels.” The words floated from his mouth.
A sly smile formed on Jane’s face. “Is that her name? It’s lovely and suits her.”
He nodded, placing the bottle between his knees as he gently tugged the binkie from Emmy’s rooting mouth. There was a gap in the blanket she was wrapped in, and he quickly tucked the pacifier inside for safekeeping. She opened and closed her lips together several times before he rubbed the nipple of the bottle against her lips. She cried briefly, then latched on. “I hate it when you cry, my little caterpillar. It hurts my heart.”
“Well, then. I’m going to update the system with her name.” Jane started to walk away but then stopped. “Someone will be up shortly to do her birth certificate paperwork. And I bet she’ll be able to go home tomorrow. She’s doing amazing.”
A glimmer of satisfaction filled Braxton. “Yes, a nurse said the same thing to me this morning when I asked where her oxygen line was.” He adjusted his daughter in his arms, holding her close. “She’s a fighter, you know.”
Jane nodded in agreement before she walked away, leaving Braxton alone and allowing him to give all his attention to the sweet bundle in his arms. He became entranced by the movement of Emmy’s little lips as they sucked on the bottle, quickly draining the formula.
“Okay, time to burp.” He’d finally mastered the process. At first, he had been terrified he’d hit her too hard so he barely tapped her back. But as time went on, he’d learned that a good healthy pat did the trick. “Come on, baby girl, give me that burp. Let it rip, loud and proud.” His large hand covered her back. Pat, pat, pat.
“Burrrp.”
“Ah, that wasn’t a good one. Give me another one. But let’s make this one count, caterpillar. What do you say?”
Jane laughed in the background as Braxton continued to lightly slap Emmy’s back while placing tiny kisses on her head.
“You’re going to be an amazing dad, Mr. Michaels. I love how you interact with her. She’s one lucky girl. Most dads just stand there, too afraid help with anything because they have no idea what to do with a baby. With moms, it’s instinct, and they always rise to the occasion.”
“Burrrrrrrrp”
“That’s my girl,” he exclaimed as the long-drawn-out sound of Emmy releasing the gas from her belly filled the room.
“Good one,” Jane cheered from where she stood, entering information into a computer.
“Just like her dad.” Braxton couldn’t help but laugh as he envisioned him and his little girl having contests at who would belch the loudest. Oh, shit. That is so not ladylike. Damn, I’m going to be a horrible father.
Braxton moved across the room, making his way toward the window. When he reached the glass, he stood in front of Paisley. He studied her for a moment. She was lost in thought. He had seen that look before. It was the same one she would have on her face when they were kids and she was daydreaming.
He gave her a minute to notice him standing there, when she hadn’t, he tapped on the window startling her, and causing her coffee to splash all over the glass.
Chapter 16
Paisley gazed past him as he strolled toward her. Once again, she was lost in another time and place. He placed the steaming cups down, and tugged at the chair causing the legs to make a scraping sound.
“Earth to Paisley”
Her blue-grey eyes met his. “What?”
“You’re daydreaming again, butterfly.”
Her eyes widened, he’d caught her lost in thought about something embarrassing.
“So, what do you think?”
Paisley's eyebrows moved tighter together, forming several wrinkles between them. “What do I think about what?”
Braxton shook his head at the irony that he’d always been known as the daydreamer. Yet today, Paisley, who was usually the focused one, didn’t seem to be following anything.
“Emmy’s name.” Warmth spread through Braxton’s body as he spoke. “You never said what you thought when I told you earlier.”
Paisley's chest rose and fell, and the wrinkles between her brows smoothed out as her lips stretched into a smile. “I think it’s perfect, Brax. She looks like an Emmy.”
The coffee shop door opened and Paxton strolled in. The swagger in his walk told Braxton that he was proud of something and he was about to rub it in his face.
Paxton hadn’t even taken a seat before he began to brag. “While you’ve been playing dad, I sealed the deal with Marilyn Green.”
Braxton’s eyes widened. “How did you do that? I’ve been trying to get her to sign with us for months.”
In all honesty, he was impressed that his friend had been able to get the job done. He’d wined and dined her several times, but she would never commit to signing with their firm.
“Let’s just say I’ve got something she wants and you don’t.” Paxton blew on the tips of his fingers before rubbing them over his chest.
Braxton scowled at him. “What exactly do you have that I don’t?” He was afraid to hear the answer because he was confident he already knew exactly where this was going.
“She wants my johnson.” Paxton laughed whole-heartedly. “You, my friend, were taken, and I no longer am. She asked me to bring the paperwork to her penthouse when I am done drafting it up, and said she’d make me dinner while we reviewed it.”
Paisley mimed putting her finger in her mouth and throwing up. It made Braxton laugh until Paxton started laughing as well and he knew he needed to nip this in the bud right
now. “Paxton, I’m serious, man. How many times do I have to tell you—no mixing business with pleasure? You cannot sleep with our clients.”
Paxton appeared offended when he replied with irritation. “Oh, relax, Braxton. I’m not stupid.”
Paisley pffted under her breath, and both Paxton and Braxton turned to look at her.
“What?” she asked. “He’s a pig—always has been and always will be. Don’t you remember the Jennifer and Jessica disaster on your sixteenth birthday?”
“All too well.” He smiled at Paisley and then turned to face his other best friend. “I’ve worked too hard to get Marilyn to even think about working with us. She has tons of contacts here and could be an asset for recruiting them, do not mess with her. Treat her like you do any of your male clients. She’s off-limits.”
They both stared at Paxton. He looked as if he’d just sucked on a bucket of limes. “Bro, I get it. I was just joking, you sure know how to take the fun out of everything.”
“I’m not taking the fun out of anything.” Braxton crossed his arms over his chest. “Does the name Megan ring any bells with you? Or have you forgotten the woman who currently lives with you?”
Paxton leaned forward to rest his forearms on his knees. Braxton waited patiently for his answer.
Paxton hung his head in defeat, bouncing it several times before taking in a huge breath and sitting back up. His regret was evident from his eyes. “That ended a month ago. I was just too embarrassed to admit that she dumped me. Said I worked too much and only cared about making a name for myself and not about her.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Braxton said sincerely.
“I’m surprised it lasted as long as it did. You’ve never been one to commit to a relationship ever,” Paisley commented snidely “You have obviously already moved on if you’re thinking with your other head.”
