Wicked Needs

by L A Cotton

  The only thing.

  After Caitlin’s little stunt, I’d quit the squad. Miss Tamson said she didn’t think it would hinder my application at this stage. Besides, if it came down to it, I could always tell the board of admissions that our captain was a raging bitch hell bent on destroying me.

  “I’m so excit—” Her eyes widened as something caught her eye over my shoulder. I didn’t need to turn around to know who it was. I felt Devon every time he walked into a room. Thankfully, we only had one class together. I’m not sure I would have survived any more.

  “How does he look?” I whispered, keeping my eyes on my plate.

  “Fine,” Kara’s voice gave her away. “He looks fine.”

  Slowly, I glanced back, finding him immediately. Devon didn’t look fine. He looked like shit. Misery rolled off him in dangerous waves. I let out a quiet gasp. I don’t know what was worse; the idea he had moved on or knowing he was as miserable as me.

  “It’s for the best,” Kara reminded me. She was good at that. Ever since I’d confessed everything to her, even the way I’d driven the final stake into mine and Devon’s relationship, she had supported my decision.

  “I know.” Even though my bruised heart said differently.

  “So, I was thinking,” she said drawing my attention. “We should go shopping after school Friday. I need something new to wear for the party, and retail therapy always makes you feel better...”

  It used to make me feel better.

  But no amount of new dresses could fix me this time.

  “MACEY,” MOM’S VOICE stopped me the second I walked into the house, arms heavy with bags from my shopping trip with Kara. “You went shopping?” Disappointment glistened in her eyes. Shopping was usually our thing.

  It hadn’t been our thing in a while.

  “Kara invited me to a party tomorrow. I wanted to get a new outfit.”

  “Oh.” She tucked her glossy dark hair behind her ears. “If you’d have said, I could’ve arranged for the two of you to go to Clara’s. I know you love—”

  “It’s fine. We went to the mall. They have a better selection anyway.”

  “Macey...”

  “I’m tired, Mom, and I want to hang these before they crease.” I held up the bags, hoping she’d let me by and save us both any more awkwardness. When she didn’t reply, I slipped around her and made a beeline for the stairs. But the words, “Florida State,” fell from her lips.

  I turned slowly and met her sad gaze. “It’s for the best, don’t you think?”

  “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I’ve let things get this bad, Macey, but running away isn’t the answer. We are a family and we need to sit down and sort this out once and for all. I miss you, Sweetheart. We all do. You’ve always been closed off, but not like this. And I know I did that. I know you blame me, but I only did what I thought was best to protect you and your brother, this family. Your father—”

  “Don’t.” I didn’t want to hear anything about that manipulative, cruel son-of-a-bitch.

  Mom pressed her lips together, pushing down whatever she’d wanted to say. A beat passed, and another, and then she said, “I overheard Kyle and Laurie talking. They said something happened ... with a boy. I didn’t even know you were seeing anyone. Would you like to talk about it?”

  “No.” My stomach knotted.

  “It’s okay, you can tell me, Sweetheart. All I want is for you to be happy, Macey. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

  “And what about what I want, Mom? I didn’t ask for any of this. I didn’t ask to have my world blown to pieces with your lies and secrets. I didn’t ask for Rick to—”

  “Rick? What has—”

  “It doesn’t matter.” I sighed. “Moving away to college is a shot at a fresh start. Away from this town, these people. Away from this family.”

  The sound of her harsh inhale echoed around the hall. If there was a word to describe the pained expression on Mom’s face, it was devastation. I’d broken her heart. And a tiny part of me regretted it, but the angry part could only think ‘well, you broke mine first’.

  “Macey, I—” her voice quivered as her damp gaze fixed on me, pleading with me to stay.

  But I was just too exhausted with everything.

  So, I took the easy option and I ran.

  Chapter 24

  DEVON

  Macey and Kara got up to leave the cafeteria and my eyes followed. I couldn’t help but watch them.

  Watch her.

  A couple of girls snickered as they walked past, but Macey held her head high, shooting them her trademark death stare, before disappearing into the hall.

  “Tsk tsk, always wanting what you can’t have.”

  I turned slowly, narrowing my eyes at Caitlin. I didn’t speak though. That’s what she wanted, to bait me into playing her sick and twisted games.

  “First me, then Lo, and now Macey Prince. If I didn’t know better, I’d say it’s not us you have a thing for at all, it’s Maverick.”

  Without answering, I got up and weaved my way through the tables. A couple of people pointed, whispering some half-truth no doubt. Caitlin followed behind, the click of her heels against the tiles ringing out. Almost yanking the door off its hinges, I slipped into the stream of kids hoping she’d get the message.

  Since school started back after Thanksgiving weekend, I’d been waiting for her to strike; to rub salt into the wound. Cat lived for this shit, so it was really no surprise when I reached my locker, to see she was only five steps behind with a smug smile plastered on her face.

  “Really, Devon, if you’d have wanted to play cat and mouse, you only had to ask.”

  Was she actually flirting with me?

  She was crazier than I thought.

  “I don’t want to play anything with you.” I glared at her as my head disappeared inside my locker. When I’d traded the relevant textbooks, I slammed the door, stuffed the books in my backpack, and headed for English.

  I didn’t make it very far.

  Caitlin Holloway was like a dog with a bone.

  “I heard Macey has a date this weekend, with a college sophomore. Someone much more suited to her—”

  My fist clenched against my jeans and I whirled around. “What the fuck is your problem?” A sense of satisfaction spread through me when I noticed the surprise in Caitlin’s eyes.

  “I—” she stuttered.

  Caitlin Holloway never stuttered.

  “Haven’t you had enough fun at my expense?” I rose a brow, staring her down, but she quickly recovered, sweeping her hair off her shoulder.

  “You and Macey were never meant to be, Devon. If anything, I was doing you a favor.”

  I glanced to the ceiling and rubbed my temples, letting out an exasperated breath. She was deluded. Completely and utterly deluded.

  “A favor?” My eyes met hers again. “I think you need to look up that word in the dictionary.”

  “Are you really trying to tell me what you had with her was better than what we had?”

  The words punched me straight in the chest and before I could stop myself, I ate up the distance between us until I was glaring down at her. “What we had? You treated me like a toy you got bored with. But that’s it isn’t it? You didn’t want me, but you can’t stand the idea of me wanting someone else. First Lo, and now Macey. You’re sick, Cat, and I wouldn’t touch you again if you were the last girl on the planet.”

  The blood drained from her face as she sucked in a sharp breath. I was right. This wasn’t about me. Or Macey. Or even Lo. It was about Caitlin, and the fact she needed the attention on her all the time.

  “Come near me or Macey again and I will find a way to ruin you. Consider that a promise.”

  I didn’t take kindly to guys who threatened girls, but she wasn’t a girl. She was poison. A strangling weed who spread over everything good, sucking the life out of it until there was nothing left but rotting flesh.

  Caitlin blinked at me, her mouth parted, no doubt
some snarky reply building on the tip of her tongue, but I didn’t hang around to hear it.

  As far as I was concerned, we were done.

  THE BASS REVERBERATED through me, blood pumping through my veins, mimicking the heavy beat, and the pounding in my skull. Liam and Jared stood on either side of me, beers in hand, bobbing their heads to the music. The bar was crammed. A sea of bodies packed tightly like sardines. Usually I felt alive watching a live band, felt the hum of the beat in my veins, but tonight, all I could think about was the last concert I saw. It had ended in a black eye and we’d missed most of the show thanks to some drunken douchebag, but Macey had been there to kiss me better.

  Fuck.

  I’d take a million black eyes if it meant having her back. Even now, after everything, I still wanted her.

  I never stopped.

  Tomorrow, she’d be at a party with another guy, as his date. Maybe they’d hit it off. Maybe at the end of the night he’d drive her home and walk her to the door and kiss her. Maybe she’d introduce him to her family, and they’d welcome him with open arms. Maybe they’d go on to get married and have perfect rich fucking babies.

  Shit.

  I was drunk.

  I was also miserable.

  So fucking miserable I was beginning to wish I’d never let Liam persuade me to come tonight.

  Jared glanced back at me and Liam, and grinned, a glint in his eye. “I’ll be right over there.” He pointed at a tall blonde in a short black skirt and killer boots.

  “It’s supposed to be guys night,” Liam reminded him, his mouth set into a thin line.

  “So?” His shoulders lifted dismissively. “You two can hold the fort, and I’ll come back after blondie sucks my dick backstage and tell you all about it.”

  “Something is seriously wrong with you,” I said nursing my beer.

  “Yeah, I have a needy fucking dick.” He grabbed his junk, not giving a shit that people could see. “I swear it has a mind of its own. It points, I just follow.”

  Liam snickered but went quiet when I shot him a bemused look. “Whatever,” I grumbled taking a long pull on my beer. Jared might have been a smug dick, but thanks to his older brother we all had fake IDs.

  “Hey, you okay?” Liam asked as soon as Jared was gone. “I’m sorry he’s such a jackass.”

  I gave him a half-hearted shrug. “He’s Jared,” I said as if it answered everything.

  “You know, I thought a night out might do you good, but I’m sensing I may have gotten it wrong.” His brow rose. “I’m sorry, Devon. You know that, right? I feel like such a fucking douche that this is all my fault.”

  “It isn’t.” I’d blamed Liam for it for only a minute, until I remembered if I hadn’t told him, none of this would have happened. There was only one person to blame.

  Me.

  And Caitlin. Yeah, blaming her for being a conniving manipulative bitch made me feel slightly better.

  “It’s me,” I said. “I’m doomed.”

  “You’re not doomed; you just have bad luck where girls are concerned.”

  “I can’t get her out of my head. She’s buried so deep...” I clutched the bottle in my hand tighter, imagining it was my heart. I would have smashed the damn thing to smithereens if it meant the pain would disappear.

  “Maybe if you talk to her again—”

  “Nah.” I waved my bottle in the air. “That ship has sailed. She’s leaving. She’s going to move three-thousand miles away to escape this place.” To escape Me, I wanted to add, but I swallowed the words.

  “It’s college. It isn’t forever, and she’ll have to come home for holidays, right? Once things settle and she realizes what she’s missing, she’ll come crawling back. Besides, don’t give up yet, there’s still six months left of school. Maybe you’ll figure it out.”

  I jammed my fingers into my hair, tugging the ends. “She didn’t ask me to wait, Liam. She let me go.”

  She let me go.

  Macey knew what she was giving up, and she did it anyway. Because her self-preservation was more important than us.

  Than me.

  I knew Macey, knew how she operated, and I knew what it had taken for her to finally let me in. Hell would freeze over before she ever gave me another chance.

  Pain tightened my chest, and I stared out at the band. With Macey by my side, my future had seemed bearable. Even if I was stuck in a job I didn’t really want, chasing a dream that was never mine to chase—with her in my life it didn’t matter.

  But now I had no Macey, no hope of college, and nothing waiting for me at the end of school except a shit ton of bricks, mortar, and tedious fucking work.

  Chapter 25

  MACEY

  “Ladies,” Vinnie appeared with our drinks. “I snagged some of the good stuff.” He winked, handing us the flutes of champagne, and slipped into his chair beside me. His arm hung casually around the back of my chair, the way it had throughout the meal, but I didn’t mind. Vinnie was nothing if not a gentleman, just as Shaun had told Kara he would be. In fact, he barely looked twice at me in my floor-length black gown that cinched at my waist and scooped low in the front. I hadn’t wanted to get so dressed up, but Kara insisted, and since I was trying to make it up to her, I didn’t argue.

  “So, Macey.” Vinnie said, “I hear you’re heading for the Sunshine State next fall?”

  “I haven’t been accepted yet.” I tucked my hair behind my ear. I’d kept it simple. Loose waves held in place with a delicate diamante headband fit for a princess. Only I felt more like the wicked stepmother.

  “Kara seemed to think it’s a sure thing.”

  “Did she now?” I narrowed my eyes at her and she buried her face in Shaun’s shoulder. “You can’t hide there forever,” I said.

  The guys laughed, watching the two of us with amusement.

  “I hope someone shakes some life into this thing soon.” Vinnie took a long pull on his beer and nodded to the empty dance floor. “It’s more like a wake, than an engagement party.”

  “Bro,” Shaun warned. “It’ll pick up once everyone has had a few more drinks.”

  “Your sister seems happy enough,” Kara added.

  We watched her work the room, smiling and laughing with their guests.

  “Yeah, she’s in that weird pre-wedded bliss phase. Poor Jason, he looks bored shitless.” He shuddered, watching his brother-in-law-to-be linger behind his fiancée. He did look a little out of his depth.

  “Are you surprised?” Shaun asked his brother. “Mom and Grandma Dolly are a force to be reckoned with.”

  “I think it’s sweet,” Kara said, and Shaun kissed her on the nose.

  “No, you’re sweet.” He deepened the kiss and I could have sworn I saw him mouth the words, ‘I love you’ at her.

  My stomach sank.

  I was happy for her, but I couldn’t deny it hurt to watch them together. So happy. So in love. They started making out, and I shifted uncomfortably on my chair, hugging my flute of champagne like a life raft. When they showed no signs of letting up, Vinnie cleared his throat muttering, “Seriously, you’re making me as horny as hell.”

  “Vin!” Shaun glared at his brother who just grinned back.

  “I’m joking,” he said. “It’s a joke. Let’s get out of here for an hour before the party gets going. I saw a bar on the way in. It has a pool table.”

  “I’m not sure—” Shaun started, but I cut him off.

  “I’m in,” I said. Suddenly the room felt too small, my dress too tight.

  “Awesome, let’s go.” Vinnie stood up and helped me out of my chair.

  “We’ll be right there,” Shaun said. “Are you sure you want to be alone with this goof?” He directed his question at me.

  “I think I can handle him.”

  Maybe he’d even buy me a drink or two, so I could numb the pain constricting my chest.

  Vinnie guided me out of the private room the Fords had organized for their daughter’s engagement. The bar was q
uiet, a couple of lonely patrons sitting at the sleek black-marbled counter. The older Ford brother tossed me a handful of quarters. “Rack ‘em up and I’ll get the drinks in. It looked like you could use one back there.”

  “Thanks.” I smiled tightly.

  By the time Vinnie returned with four beers, I had the balls set and his cue waiting. “A girl after my own heart,” he said, running his eyes over the table... and not over me. It was strange. He flirted. He said all the right things. Yet, he didn’t show any signs of being attracted to me.

  Not that I wanted him to be.

  “You have that look.”

  “What look?” I asked as he chalked the tip of his cue.

  “I have this friend, Maggie. Whenever she’s trying to figure me out, she gets this look.”

  “Ahh, it all makes sense now.”

  “What does?” He lined up the shot and sent the balls spinning into chaos.

  “Why you’ve spent the evening flirting, but not looking,” I said.

  “Ah, you noticed that.”

  “Wasn’t I supposed to?”

  He shrugged, waiting for me to take my shot. “I didn’t want to appear rude, but I’m not... this isn’t...”

  “A date?” I finished for him.

  “I love my brother dearly, but sometimes he hasn’t got a frickin’ clue.”

  “This was his idea?”

  “He thinks I need to ‘move on’.”

  “From Maggie?”

  He leaned back against the wall and let out a heavy sigh. One I knew well. “You can’t really move on from something you never had. But yeah, Shaun thinks I need to move on.”

  “I get it, more than you know.”

  “I did wonder if there was someone. You have this look... a sadness in your eyes. Want to talk about it?”

  Did I?

  Could I?

  Since coming clean to Kara, I’d locked Devon away in a special place in my heart where he belonged. But Vinnie was a stranger. He didn’t know our history, my history. And I couldn’t explain it, but he made me feel at ease.

  “His name is Devon.”