“What was it?”
A sad smile pulled at the corners of his mouth. “A deer. Just a deer. It was like she came out of nowhere. I slammed on the brakes, and she skittered off the road but not before…”
“Before your parents’ car swerved and jumped the guardrail,” Cadence offered, filling in the blank.
He nodded. “Yeah, my dad swerved so he wouldn’t hit us.”
She studied him, and all he wanted was for her to say something. Yell at him. Tell him he was a disgrace. He started to speak, to plead with her to tell him to go to hell, but she pressed her fingertips to his lips and silenced him.
“Listen to me, Camden. That’s still an accident. I’m not saying it’s not awful or heartbreaking, but I’m from Colorado, and you and I both know that accidents involving wildlife happen all the time. Even if Bren and Jas weren’t with you in the car, that deer could have caught you off guard.”
He knew that. He did. It was what happened next that sent a jagged jolt of shame through his heart. But there was no going back. He had to tell her everything.
He steadied himself. “But you see, I ran.”
“From the accident?” she pressed.
He nodded. “It was like everything unfolded in slow motion. Jas jumped the guardrail and made his way down to my parents’ car. It was stuck about fifty feet down on the side of the cliff. He was on ski patrol and had EMT training, and I’m sure he tried to save them. But when he climbed back up to the road, I knew they were dead by the look on his face, and then, I ran.”
“Where did you go?”
A shiver passed through him as he remembered the cold night air and his brothers’ frantic voices.
“At first, I thought if I didn’t see them, if I wasn’t absolutely sure my parents were gone, then maybe it would all disappear, like some kind of reset. I ran for hours and ended up at the cabin we have on a desolate patch of land. I’d gone there earlier in the week with my grandfather to see it after he’d purchased it. Somewhere in my mind, I must have known we weren’t far from it. And then I stayed there. I thought, if I disappeared then it couldn’t have happened. I couldn’t have caused something so devastating.”
Cadence laced her fingers with his. “How’d they find you? I remember seeing the pictures in the newspaper of you and your brothers at the funeral. I saw you on TV, too. Your parents’ death made the local, national, and even the world news.”
Those first days had blended together in one long, painful loop of numbness, shame, and utter disbelief. His parents had been larger than life. A power couple, attending galas, raising money for charities, and spearheading the Bergen Mountain Sports summer and winter education curriculums. It hadn’t seemed possible anything could halt two lives that had shined so brightly.
He shrugged. “They knew where I was the whole time. I had GPS tracking on my phone. I used to do a lot of backcountry skiing with my brothers. My mom and my grandmother insisted we all have it on our phones. They used it to find me, and they brought me back in time for the memorial service. Then I went right from the funeral to the airport and flew to Switzerland.”
She nodded, and he watched her, waiting for revulsion or hate or disappointment to color her expression. But all he saw in her eyes was compassion.
“I don’t blame you for running, Cam.”
“But it was weak. It was wrong.”
She shook her head. “I didn’t even know your parents, but I still cried when I heard the news of their deaths. Your family has always been like Colorado royalty, and everyone—even people like me who only read about them in the paper and saw them on TV—could tell they were kind people. They cared about the community. They championed more charities than I can count. But anyone could see that they cared the most for you and your brothers. A bond like that is rare. You loved your parents, and you couldn’t imagine a world without them. I would have run, too.”
A muscle twitched in his jaw. “But your husband died. He was killed, and you didn’t run away from the world.”
She blinked back tears. “I wanted to. I wanted what you wanted. I wanted it all to be some terrible dream.”
“I should have stayed,” he said in a tight breath.
“Even if you had stayed, it wouldn’t have changed the fact that your parents were gone.”
He stared into the darkness. “You don’t think I’m a monster?”
There. He’d said it. The fear that had loomed in his mind for a decade.
Was he a monster? Was that the extent of his character?
“Camden, look at me.”
He did as she asked.
She lifted her chin. “You are no monster. You’re a man who would move heaven and earth to protect me—and my son. Cam, what happened was an accident. It’s time you stopped blaming yourself and started living the kind of life you know your parents would want for you. You’re not meant to be hidden away like a recluse. You’re good with kids. You’re a good teacher. Look what we’ve done with the summer program in only a few weeks. And you’re just as much a Bergen as your brothers, and you have just as much to give.”
“Do you really believe all that?”
“Do you think I’d lie to you?”
“No,” he answered.
She held his gaze, unwavering. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“I always wondered why you chose to go to Switzerland?”
He glanced down at his watch. The Swiss-made Patek Philippe his dad had left him. “At the time, I just knew I had to leave. I didn’t trust myself around anyone. And then I remembered my dad and I had found this cabin in the Alps on our last trip there when we’d picked up his watch—this watch—when we were scouting out locations for another Bergen resort. The place was pretty remote, and my dad said it looked like a cabin for somebody who wanted to forget. We didn’t end up buying the property, and when I got there after the funeral and found I could rent it, I knew my dad was right. It was a place to forget. And all I wanted to do was forget who I was, where I came from, and what I’d done.”
“But you came back, Cam. You came home to find me.”
He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “Mountain Daisy made me feel like a person again—like someone out there needed me. I hadn’t smiled in years until I saw your post warning D-canoes not to reply.”
She chuckled then brushed a tear from her cheek. “I wrote that post on the anniversary of Aaron’s death. Bodhi wanted to ride a bike like all the kids at school, and I knew I’d need to find the strength to not only teach him but to stop feeling so afraid. It wasn’t like I couldn’t figure it out for myself, but that day, I was going through a box and found a pair of Aaron’s jeans mixed in with my things. I thought I’d donated all his old clothes, but there they were, nestled in with mine. I don’t know why, but I checked the pockets. I’d found a piece of paper where he’d jotted down the mountain bike forum’s website. It’s almost like he was leading me to you. Like he knew you could be there for me when he couldn’t.”
He cupped her face and ran his thumb across her trembling lips. “The day I got back to Denver, I went to the cemetery and asked my parents to help me find you.”
“And then you crashed into the cake party.” Her eyes shining, she smiled up at him. “I think something bigger than us wanted us to meet.”
“I believe that with my whole heart,” he answered.
“And I believe in you, Cam. What happened with your parents—it was an accident, and I’m certain that if they were here today, they’d tell you the same thing. You’re a good man. You’ve saved my son twice, and you saved me once.”
“From the squirrels,” he said with a little laugh.
“Even if it were a lion, you still would have charged through my door to protect me. You have a good heart. I hear you at night, locking the doors and looking in on Bodhi. You deserve to be happy. Whatever you think about yourself, I can tell you this for sure. You are worthy of your family and of the Bergen name. You might
have run away, but you came back, and you were here when I needed you.”
He studied her beautiful face, bathed in moonlight. Cadence’s face. Mountain Daisy’s face. And all the things he’d thought that had prevented him from being with her—his past, her connection to his family, and her son—had turned out to be the gateway back to his life. She, with her glass daisy doorknobs, opened the door to his heart and allowed a tidal wave of love to wash away the shame and regret he’d carried all these years.
“Cadence, do you remember what you’d always write to me before you fell asleep?”
“Of course, I do,” she whispered, her voice as soft as spring rain.
“Will you say it?”
She smiled at him through her tears. “Sweetest dreams, Mountain Mac.”
He rested his forehead against hers. “Do you know how long I’ve dreamed to hear you say that?” He pulled back a fraction. “Cadence Daisy Lowry, I have loved you since the first night when you typed those four words.”
“You have?”
“Yes. I found you, and from that moment on, everything changed.”
“It looks like my Man Find finally found me,” she said with a teary chuckle.
“Your Man Find?” he asked.
“Abby called Mountain Mac my Man Find. She’d say that I’d found someone who made me happy I just couldn’t find him. She and Elle would tease me because I’d always grin like a schoolgirl when I read your messages. Elle said I’d go all googly-eyed when I looked at my phone like I was in love.”
“Were you in love with Mountain Mac?” he asked.
His chest tightened. Even though she knew he was Mac, she’d still lost the safety of confiding in her anonymous friend on the other side of the screen.
“I am in love with Mountain Mac,” she answered, her tone resolute.
“And what about Camden Bergen?”
Her eyes sparkled with tears. “I love him, too.”
There are moments in life so poignant they etch themselves into your soul. He’d kissed Cadence Lowry as Camden Bergen, but there was always that nagging voice, that slippery reminder that he’d been keeping a secret. As strange as it sounds, he’d held back kissing her as Mac. But there was nothing between them now. No fear of screwing up and giving away his identity. No worry she’d see him as only the runaway Bergen heir. And no judgment after he’d confessed his worst sin.
She leaned in, her lips a breath away from his. “I think we could use a little redirection.”
Heat surged through his veins. “What were you thinking?”
“I think Mountain Mac should finally kiss Mountain Daisy.”
And there she was, giving him exactly what he needed.
“How’s this for redirection? I want to pull you onto my lap and kiss you. I want to kiss you for every time I couldn’t kiss you as Mac. I want to kiss you for every night I imagined making love to you when you were two thousand miles away. I want to feel every inch of your perfect ass, and I sure as hell want to see whatever sexy panties you’ve got on.” He paused and remembered what was in his pocket. “But there’s something I need to show you first.”
He stood and helped her up, then led her down a winding path, deeper into the gardens. They walked in silence until a rustling caught her attention, and she froze.
“What’s that?”
He wrapped his arm around her. “It’s probably security.”
But it wasn’t. And with a leafy crash, a pair of squirrels leaped from one dark tree branch to another.
“Squirrels,” she said with a relieved sigh.
“Do they follow you everywhere you go?” he teased.
She leaned against him and shook her head. “I never thought of myself as a squirrel magnet. But they did bring a half-naked burly mountain man charging into my house.”
“Don’t kill the squirrels,” he murmured.
“What was that?”
“It was my mantra that first night, when all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around you and never let go.”
“I felt it, too—that connection. It was there from the moment I saw you. Do you think, even if there was no Mac or Daisy and if we had never met on that chat forum—do you think we would have found each other?”
He thought of the sun glinting off his parents’ headstones. The bright light that echoed his father’s words and showed him the way home.
Look at where you want to be. Find that spot and focus on it.
“I do,” he answered.
She smiled up at him then glanced around the darkened path as another round of rustling came from the foliage a few yards down the walkway.
She frowned. “We should go. I think we’re trespassing.”
“We’re not. I promise.”
She stood in front of him, then glanced from side to side. “Cam, the gardens are closed. Your grandparents have their own private entrance, but I still don’t think we should be here.”
He couldn’t hold back his smile. Even though his brother had outed him as Mac, he’d planned on telling her about his secret identity tonight. He hadn’t planned on telling her about his parents—about his role in their death. But now that she knew, now that she’d listened to his story and still loved him, still gazed up at him with such trust in her eyes, what was about to happen, what he hoped would happen next, carried even more significance.
The woman he loved knew every dark part of him and still saw his light. Mountain Mac or Camden Bergen, it didn’t matter. She loved them both.
He took her hand and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. “We’re the only people who should be here.”
She cocked her head to the side. “What does that mean?”
“Remember when I told you that there was somewhere I wanted to take you after the party?”
“Yes.”
“We’re here. I rented out the gardens for the evening.”
“You rented it?” she asked with a hint of skepticism.
“Yeah.”
“All the gardens?”
“Yeah.”
“The entire place?”
“Every square inch.”
She frowned. “Doesn’t that cost a fortune?”
He bit back another grin. “I’m sort of worth a fortune.”
Her eyes went wide. “But I didn’t think you wanted any part of that. You barely accepted the watch your father left you.”
He took her into his arms. “Cadence, you’ve helped me see who I am. You’ve helped me realize where I need to be in this world.”
“And where is that?” she whispered.
“It’s here, with you and Bodhi.” He leaned in to kiss her when a sharp, quick whistle pulled them apart.
“Psst! Mr. Bergen, is that the sign?”
Cadence gasped. “Who’s that?” she asked, staring down the dark path.
“It’s just me…Calvin,” came a whisper-shout from the bushes.
Cadence’s jaw dropped. “Who the heck is Calvin?”
Camden shook his head. Jesus! He’d forgotten all about Calvin!
“When I rented the gardens, I asked if they had someone who could turn on the lights when we got to the spot.”
“Yeah, I volunteered,” came the voice from the bushes.
“Calvin is one of the security guards here. The same one who chased me through the gardens when I crashed the cake tasting party.”
“Has he been here all night?” she asked.
“Only for like ninety minutes,” Calvin answered.
“Ninety minutes!” Cadence exclaimed.
“It’s not a big deal, miss. I’ve been listening to the game on my phone. Lucky for you, I just saw you pass by.”
Sweet baby Jesus! This was not the way he’d expected this part of the evening to go.
“Calvin, if you don’t mind,” he said.
“Oh sorry,” the man replied as the click of a switch cut through the air and all the trees in the outdoor courtyard lit up with twinkling white lights.
Cadence gasped. “I
t’s—”
“Should I stick around, Mr. Bergen? The Rockies are up by two, and I’d really like to watch the end of the baseball game in the security office if you don’t need anything.”
Cam turned toward the bushes. “We’re fine, Calvin. Enjoy the game. We’ll take it from here.”
He listened as the sound of footsteps disappeared into the night then turned toward the lights and froze. Cadence stood in a small courtyard, bathed in the twinkling light and surrounded by white and yellow daisies.
“Cam,” she breathed. “You did all this?”
He joined her in the center of the space. When he’d come to the garden’s events manager earlier in the week and told them he wanted to fill one of the garden’s intimate courtyards with daisies, he had no idea they’d create such a magical place.
“This is where I wanted to tell you I was Mac. After we visited the cemetery on Father’s Day, it all became clear to me. I belong here. I belong with you and Bodhi. I can honor the memory of my parents and the memory of your husband by spending the rest of my life loving and protecting you and your son. That is, if you’ll have me.”
She touched the delicate petals of one of the daisies. “This was only supposed to be for the summer.”
“I know,” he answered, his heart in his throat.
She looked up. “But it’s turned out to be much more.”
Relief washed over him. “I want forever with you and Bodhi. I want to put down my own roots here. Our roots. I don’t want to sleep on the other side of the wall anymore. I want you in my arms every night all night.” Surrounded by daisies, he took a knee in front of her, pulled a small box from his pocket, and opened the lid. “Mountain Daisy, will you marry me?”
“Oh, Cam, I never imagined I could be this happy. I didn’t expect to ever love again. I thought life had already given me that gift, but I believe with all my heart that Aaron wants this for me and for Bodhi. I believe he chose you—and I choose you, too.” She reached for his hand and squeezed it three times.
Man Find (Bergen Brothers Book 3) Page 20
