I grinned and lifted a hand to rub the back of my neck. “He’s a good kid. After everything he’s been through . . .” I shook my head. “He deserves the world.”
She half walked, half waddled toward me and I didn’t argue when she wrapped her arms around me even though hugging her around her protruding belly was slightly difficult.
“And what about you, Dad? What do you deserve for giving him the world?” That was Cora. She was never one to beat around the bush or pull any kind of punches.
“I’m still working on that. It’s been a little tougher than I anticipated.”
She pulled away from me and I followed her into the house. The sound of voices got louder and I could hear Hyde talking about giants from somewhere close by.
“She left already. She was here with Poppy, but all the people and all the noise . . .” Cora shrugged a shoulder. “Poppy froze up and Sayer took her home. I honestly don’t think she wanted to leave, but she’s like a mother hen where that girl is concerned. I think it hurts Salem’s feelings that Poppy leans so much on Sayer instead of her.”
“Did she know we were coming?”
Cora nodded. “Rowdy told her. Zeb, that woman is in love with you and your son. She talks about Hyde the same way I talk about Remy. She lights up when she says your name and we both know she isn’t the type that glows.”
I sighed. “She can be.”
Cora looked at me over her shoulder as we joined the revelry. “For you she can be. Not for anyone else. I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but I do know that you shouldn’t give up on her if she is who you want to be with.”
“It’s not about me giving up, it’s about her giving in.” I said it, but I don’t know if she heard me because we were separated by a bunch of guys, most of whom were as big, if not bigger, than me.
There was a lot of back pounding. There was a lot of congratulations and at one point Rowdy handed out cigars that had It’s a Boy written on the band. I took it all in stride and was happy that Hyde seemed fascinated rather than intimidated by all the colorful and exuberant people around him. He also seemed okay with the fact that wherever he went, Remy followed. She was stuck to his side like glue, which had Cora cackling and Rome frowning from my son to me in an entirely comical way. All I could do was shrug at him.
It was an onslaught of well-wishes and catching up. It was busy and fun, so when Rowdy cornered me when I was coming out of the bathroom I wasn’t really ready for it. I should’ve known something was coming my way from him; after all, I would have done the same thing if I was in his shoes. I knew all about the brotherly need to protect and defend.
He was leaning on the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. I rubbed my hands on my jeans and tilted my chin up at him. “I did my best, dude. It’s all on her now.”
His blond eyebrows shot up. “Just like that?”
“Just like that.” It really was that simple.
“Things seemed to be on the right track there for a while. You want to tell me what happened to fuck it all up? She’s my sister, Zeb, and you’re my friend. I feel like if I can help fix this, I should.”
“What happened is I told her that I needed her to be more than my lawyer. I told her I needed her to be everything and she told me she couldn’t. She’s lost somewhere where she didn’t matter enough to the people she was supposed to matter the most to and I can’t help her find her way out of that.”
He frowned a little and pushed off the wall. “But she’s great with me. She fought to have me in her life even when I resisted, and she’s amazing with Poppy. You can’t tell me she doesn’t love that girl like she’s her own flesh and blood.”
I rubbed both my hands over my beard and shrugged. “You’re the only real family she’s ever had. That asshole that raised her, and her mother, sure as hell don’t count. She’ll hold on to you for dear life because without you, she thinks she’ll be alone . . . really and truly alone. And Poppy is like a bird with a broken wing. Sayer is nursing her back to health, but she knows one day she’s going to be able to fly again, so she isn’t worried about her leaving, she knows she’s gonna go. With me she has to take the risk that I’ll stay, that I’ll be there no matter what, that I’ll love her even if things aren’t always easy. She has to trust that she’s enough, more than enough, and I can’t tell her that. She just has to know it and believe it. It has to be her truth.”
He let out a low whistle and tossed his hands up in the air. “I was ready to give you some long-winded lecture on why she is amazing and how you just had to fight through the wreckage of her past to get to the heart of gold she has, but you just outbrothered me.”
That made me snort. “I have a sister, too. I get it.”
He reached out and clasped me on the shoulder and gave me a little shake. “By the way, Rome told me about the run-in at the Bar a few weeks ago. I know it could have been bad for you to get mixed up in anything physical with everything that was going on with the custody case, but thank you for keeping my sister safe.”
I blinked in surprise. “Did Church tell him what happened?”
“Yes, but he also saw the tape. That guy was pawing at Sayer and she was terrified. You did the right thing.” He gave me another little shake since I couldn’t come up with a reply. “For what it’s worth, I think you did the right thing before as well.” He lowered his voice and leaned closer so that we were almost nose-to-nose. “Sometimes we have to suffer and give up a piece of ourselves to do the right thing for someone that we love. I’ve been there.”
He pulled back from me, but I could still feel his words lying heavy on my shoulders. I didn’t know the ins and outs of Rowdy’s whole history, but I did know that he had done something similar to what had landed me in prison when he was younger. I had lost years of my life, he had lost a full-ride scholarship. I wasn’t sure it was the same, but it made me feel a little bit better that he did indeed know where I was coming from, then and now. Just like with his sister, there was no judgment about what I could have done differently; only acceptance for the things I had done. It soothed some part of me that was always so frayed and worn.
We walked back toward the living room, where everyone was winding down. Hyde was sitting on the floor watching TV and Remy was curled up in a little ball next to him fast asleep. Rome stopped me with a hand in the center of my chest before I could grab my kid and say my good-byes.
“What’s up?” I said. Rome Archer was one of the few men I had met in my lifetime that I didn’t have to tilt my head downward to make eye contact with. And if that wasn’t intimidating in itself, the scar that bisected half his face and the stern set of his mouth would be.
“My kid seems taken with your kid.”
I chuckled. “She’s two. I think you have a minute before you start worrying about her chasing boys around.”
He grunted and turned to look at the two little kids. “He seems like a good kid. If he’s anything like his old man, I don’t mind her chasing him around. I won’t let her catch him until I’m good and ready, but all that running around is the only thing that’s finally wore her out.”
I gave him a solid thump on the back because Rome wasn’t the kind of guy you grinned at. “Thanks, man. I appreciate that.”
“Saw what happened to your girl. Church was pissed. The Bar’s getting busier and busier and he can’t be everywhere at once. I might need to hire more help.”
“Church is a good dude. He takes his job seriously.”
Rome made a noise. “He takes safety, especially the safety of women, seriously. I doubt the drunk will be putting his hands on any more women anytime soon.”
That made me ridiculously satisfied. I might not have been able to put my hands on the man, but I was glad someone else, someone infinitely more terrifying than I would ever be, had taught him a lesson in manners and how to treat a lady.
“Good. I’m gonna take Hyde and head out. I have to work tomorrow and have to drop him off at my mom’s pretty early in the morning.�
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Rome nodded and clapped me on the shoulder. “It was good to see you. Don’t be a stranger. Remy could use a playmate.”
I agreed and picked my sleepy kid up and wrestled him into his coat and then into the car. I was almost at the condo when my mom called and told me she wasn’t feeling well and asked me to see if Beryl could watch Hyde for the day. I reminded her that Wes had whisked Beryl and Joss away for the weekend but told her not to worry about it. I would find someone to watch him, and if I couldn’t I would just skip work.
Of course, being the ever-observant and wicked smart kid that he was, Hyde overheard the entire conversation.
“So what do you think, little man? Should I ask your aunt Echo to hang out with you tomorrow?”
He pondered the question for a second and shook his head in the negative. “You should ask Sayer. We can build more castles.”
I’d had a feeling it was coming, so I blew out a breath and agreed to call her when we got home.
Hyde took his sweet time getting ready for his bath and then fought me like he usually did when I tried to put him to bed. I didn’t mind him crawling in with me after he woke up in the middle of the night, but I always insisted he start the night out in his own bed. I turned the night-light on, curled up with him, and read him a bedtime story. His eyes drifted shut and he was nearly asleep when he mumbled, “You promised to call Sayer.”
“I will.” And I would, after he was asleep, so he didn’t see me pacing around the house like a nervous wreck.
I peeled out of my clothes and plopped down on the bed before bringing her name up in my contacts. I hit the send button and held my breath until her sleepy voice came across the line. I hadn’t even looked at the clock, but when I did it was only a little bit past ten.
“Did I wake you up?”
She let out a strangled-sounding laugh. “Uh, no. I haven’t been sleeping very well. Is everything all right?”
I wondered if she wasn’t sleeping because I wasn’t there next to her. I really hoped that was the case. My dick went hard at just the sound of her voice. I shouldn’t be the only one suffering because we weren’t together.
“Everything is fine. I was actually calling for a favor. My mom can’t watch Hyde tomorrow and my sister is out of town. He’s really sensitive about who he’s left with during the day when I go to work and when I asked him who he wanted to spend the day with he said you.”
“Me?” She sounded shocked.
“Yeah, you. He likes you and he misses seeing you.” He wasn’t the only one under this roof that felt that way.
“Um, sure. Bring him over. I have a little bit of work to do from home tomorrow, but I can tackle it before you get here.”
“Nice. He’ll be stoked.”
“Oh . . . yeah, well, I will be, too. I’ve missed seeing him.”
I missed that “oh.” I missed kissing it and sucking it in. I missed it wrapped around my dick as her mouth moved on me. I missed her screaming it in surprise every time I made her come for the second time. I missed the soft shock on her face when she said “oh” after every time she surprised herself.
“Yeah, oh. You can see him . . . and me . . . anytime you want to, Say. You just have to make that choice. I’ll see you in the morning and have a good night.”
She made a strangled sound in her throat and I could clearly see her putting her hand up to the base of her neck like she did when she was trying to work out how she felt about something. “You have a good night too, Zeb.”
I hung up the phone and tossed it on the empty side of the bed . . . the side of the bed she should be on.
CHAPTER 17
Sayer
I had a motion I was supposed to be working on before Zeb showed up with Hyde, but obviously I couldn’t concentrate to save my life. Instead of screwing up my entire case, I decided I would try and make pancakes for breakfast. I figured all little kids liked pancakes for breakfast, so I threw on a pair of jeans and a baggy sweater and ran to the store so I could buy the mix. While I was there I also grabbed some fruit and some snacks. My cupboard was most definitely not kid-friendly, in fact, it wasn’t very adult-friendly either. I was running behind by the time I checked out and tossed everything into the car, so I was scrambling around the kitchen and staring at the clock on the stove instead of paying attention to what I was supposed to be doing with the pancakes.
It was premade mix, so it should have been impossible to mess up. Impossible for anyone but me. A plume of smoke wafted up from the top of the stove and had me coughing and frantically dumping the entire pan, blackened batter and all, into the sink and running water over it in the hopes that the smoke detectors in the house wouldn’t go off. I burned my fingertips and I was pretty sure I had batter in my hair. I was throwing every dirty word I had in my vocabulary at the mess when a shrill sound echoed through the house.
At first I thought I wasn’t fast enough with the disaster on the stove and the detectors were going off anyway, but then there was a pause before the noise started up again and I realized it was someone ringing the doorbell. I rushed out of the kitchen so fast I tripped over my own feet and landed on my hands and knees with a soft “oomph.” I was freaking out on the inside and outside, but I needed to get my act together or the bell was going to wake up Poppy and Zeb was going to see what a wreck I was and not trust me with Hyde.
I pulled open the door just as Hyde was standing on his tiptoes to reach for the bell again. He fell back down on his feet and grinned up at me. God, he looked so much like the unreadable man standing behind him. I wondered if it was rude to stare at him all day long while I mourned the time we had spent apart.
“Hey.”
“What’s on your face?” Hyde pointed at his own cheek and I used the back of my hand to rub at the sticky batter that was stuck there.
I sighed and ushered them both into the house. “I tried to make pancakes for breakfast. It didn’t go so well.”
Hyde’s grin got even bigger and Zeb lifted an eyebrow at me. “Why were you trying to make pancakes?”
I shrugged and tried to keep my eyes from hungrily eating him up. He was so close, but the distance between us gaped wide and vast. “I thought Hyde might like them for breakfast. I figured they would be easy enough. I was wrong.”
He shook his dark head and a reluctant smile pulled out his mouth. It made his beard twitch and his green eyes shine.
“You can pass the bar exam in not one but two states but not figure out how to make pancakes?”
I bristled a little and crossed my arms over my chest. “If I want pancakes I usually just go somewhere and have someone make them for me.”
He chuckled at me and reached out to tug Hyde’s gloves, coat, and hat off. “The little man isn’t too fussy when it comes to breakfast, but if he tells you all I feed him is pizza, he’s lying.” Hyde made a face as Zeb reached out to ruffle his hair. “You’re doing us a solid by hanging out with him all day, isn’t that right, buddy?”
Hyde nodded vigorously and walked over to take my hand. I looked down at him and couldn’t help but smile at that adorable face.
“If you want pancakes, Sayer, I’ll help make them. I’m a good helper, aren’t I, Zeb?”
“You are, bud. Hey, you be good for Sayer and remember if you go outside that you—”
Hyde cut him off before he could finish the warning. “Put on my gloves and my hat. I will.”
Good Lord, they were so cute together. It had only been a few weeks and they were already so in sync. They made it hard to breathe. They made it impossible not to be in love.
“He’ll keep himself entertained, for the most part, just play with him and hang out with him. He has a habit of pulling his gloves off and throwing them wherever they land. If you take him outside to play, keep that in mind.”
I nodded and looked down as Hyde pulled on the hand he was still holding on to. “Let’s make pancakes, Sayer.”
I agreed and looked back up at Zeb, who was watching us wi
th a look that was caught somewhere between eternal heartbreak and true love. It sucked every thought from my head and killed whatever I had been about to say to him.
“I’ll see you guys later.”
“Bye, Zeb.” Hyde let go of my hand and ran at his dad. Zeb bent and caught the little boy seconds before he collided with his knees. He lifted him up and put a smacking kiss on his cheek.
“Your beard tickles.”
It sure did. I flushed hot at the wayward thought. Hyde leaned in close to Zeb and whispered in the loud way all kids did, which meant I could hear every word he said.
“You’re coming back for me later, right, Zeb?”
I inhaled so sharply it hurt. I saw Zeb’s eyes flick over to mine before he shifted Hyde in front of him so that they were gleaming green eyes to gleaming green eyes. “I will always come back for you, Hyde.”
The little boy watched him for a solid minute before giving him a far too serious nod and wiggling to be put down.
Zeb and I stared at each other and everything I wanted to say to him, everything I knew I should give him, lay there heavy and immovable between us. I wanted to do what Hyde did and run at him and trust him to catch me.
“Bye, Zeb. Have a good day at work.”
He grunted a little. “Thanks, Say. I’ll see you guys in a few.”
I put my hand on Hyde’s thin little shoulder and we both watched Zeb leave with longing in our eyes. Once the front door was shut, I nudged Hyde with my hip and inclined my head toward the kitchen.
“I think it’s safe to go in now if you want to try for round two.”
“Yeah. I’m kinda hungry.” I turned to guide him into the still slightly scorched–smelling kitchen and looked over my shoulder at him when he started giggling uncontrollably.
“What’s so funny?”
He put his hands on his tummy and tilted his dark head back and laughed so hard I could see all his missing teeth.
I pouted at him and playfully crossed my arms over my chest. “Come on, Hyde. Share the joke.”
He kept giggling and pointed to my backside. “You made a big mess.” I sure had, and watching his father walk out the door without being able to touch him, without being able to kiss him or hold him close, reminded me of that fact like a smack in my face.
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