The words were soft and maybe the most important ones I had ever heard. They were so much more powerful than the ones my father had spewed.
I cleared my throat and hugged his massive frame with my entire body. “What did you tell him?”
He laughed softly in my ear and moved his chin so that his beard tickled my neck.
“I bet him a hundred bucks that when he asked you it would make you cry.” I wasn’t the only one who knew how to hedge a bet so that the adorable five-year-old would walk away with some cash.
I tunneled my fingers into his hair and held him as close as I could. “You’re gonna owe him a hundred bucks.”
“I figured as much. Hey, Say?”
“Hey, Zeb?” I rubbed my cheek against his and snuggled farther into him. I wanted to stay under him, connected to him like this forever.
“My kid wants you to be his mom, and if there are any more kids in the future I want them to be with you, so you should probably marry me.”
I stiffened under him and took a handful of his hair so I could jerk his head up and force him to look at me.
“Did you just tell me to marry you?”
“Uh . . . yeah. I mean I did just get you off twice in a spectacular fashion, so I figured it would make it harder to say no.” His eyes twinkled at me and he leaned forward and put his mouth on mine. “I gave you the house. You’ve had Hyde’s heart and mine since the very beginning. You know we’ll make beautiful babies and that you’ll be the best mom in the world. Let me give you a ring, Sayer. I’ll make sure it’s classic and colorful. I’ll make sure it’s strong and beautiful. I’ll find a ring that glows from the inside like you do.” He wiggled his dark eyebrows up and down at me. “And when I find it I’ll get on a knee and ask you the right way, but say yes, Sayer. You can be all the other wonderful things you already are, but you can add mom and wife to the list.”
I blinked up at him and, of course, there was only one answer to choose. “Yes, Zeb, I’ll marry you. And I don’t need you to get on one knee because this way is perfect for me.”
This was the way the man I chose to spend forever with asked me to be his.
Nothing could be better than that.
AUTHOR’S NOTE
I know from past experience that it’s risky to write a heroine who isn’t all warm and fuzzy, a heroine afraid to love when the hero is RIGHT THERE and so amazing and offering everything, but, my friends, it has to be done! Not just because I so strongly feel all types of women deserve a voice in my books, but because there are women out there who need to know they are not alone. There is nothing wrong with not being the warm and fuzzy sort. ☺ Frankly I am not often the warm and fuzzy sort.
Sayer is so important, her past and the woman she forces herself to be is a startling reminder that abuse can take so many more forms than physical and all abuse leaves its mark and its impact on those who suffer from it.
Writing Sayer for me was an immensely personal endeavor because there was a time in my life when I watched someone I cared a lot about change into a different person in a shockingly short amount of time at the hands of a skilled emotional abuser. I had no clue how to stop it or how to help, so I also understand Zeb’s frustration with the situation on a deep level. (The person I knew worked very hard to heal, and made great strides, but the change, the struggle, was too much and we are no longer in touch even though she won her battle much like Sayer does in this story.)
I watched this person completely shut down, disappear, and become so remote it was like she was trapped inside herself with no hope of getting out. It killed me to see the suffering, and it hurt even more when the things she was going through were brushed off because no one could see the cause of that change.
All forms of abuse are horrific and terrible, but patience, love, and understanding go a long way toward helping a survivor heal.
I’m not an expert or an advocate, but I am someone who cares a lot about people . . . all people. So I’ll leave these numbers here, and if you know someone who could use them or if you can use them yourself, please do:
National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-422-4453
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
If you are looking for a place to start: thehotline.org
SAYER AND ZEB’S PLAYLIST
This playlist is a little bluesy, a little twangy, a little rough, and a whole lot stripped down. Kind of like Sayer and Zeb when they start to fall in love. The entire list is composed of singer/songwriters, artists who take music down to the core of what it is and then build it up into something amazing. It’s so very beautiful to me and every single song has a story to tell.
(Minus “Pour Some Sugar on Me” . . . but come on! That song is great regardless of whether it was arena metal or not!)
Shovels & Rope: “Bridge on Fire”/“Pinned”
Dawes: “Waiting for Your Call”
Heartless Bastards: “Could Be So Happy”
Ha Ha Tonka: “The Past Has Arms”/“Lessons”
Whiskeytown: “Excuse Me While I Break My Own Heart Tonight”
The Damn Quails: “Through the Fire”
The Black Lilies: “Cruel”
Turnpike Troubadours: “Diamonds & Gasoline”
The Dirty River Boys: “Looking for the Heart You Took from Me”
The Head and the Heart: “Shake”
Lincoln Durham: “Beautifully Sewn, Violently Torn”
Cory Branan: “All the Rivers in Colorado”
Folk Soul Revival: “Bent”
Chris Knight: “The Hammer Going Down”
Delta Rae: “Scared”/“If I Loved You”
The Lone Bellow: “Green Eyes and a Heart of Gold”/“Cold As It Is”
Jason Isbell: “24 Frames”/“I Follow Rivers”
Amanda Shires: “Hearts Are Breaking”
Def Leppard: “Pour Some Sugar on Me”
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I want to extend a special thank-you to Carla Dragon and Jessica Schwartz. They are both members of my private group on Facebook and they won the chance to have their names in Built. Carla popped up as Sayer’s paralegal and Jessica got to name Auntie Echo . . . whom I liked a lot more than I thought I was going to, so maybe we’ll see more of her around. Be quiet, brain, you already have enough stories filling you up! 0_o Anyway, thanks for being part of the Crowd, ladies, and I hope it was fun seeing your names in print.
I adore my readers, and being able to make them a part of my process in even this little way is pretty cool. If you are interested in joining the group, feel free to go to:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/crownoverscrowd/
I do a lot of giveaways and we have a pretty good time. It’s really a place where I can connect one-on-one with readers and it is always all about the love. Believe it or not, there are safe places on the Internet. ☺
I usually wax on endlessly in my acknowledgments because I really do have a lot of love to give and a lot of people who push me and force me to be better, but I’m gonna attempt to keep things short and sweet this go-round. I have SO MANY books to write. A good problem to have, am I right?!
All my readers: Thank you for being you. Thank you for being honest and willing to take a risk. Thank you for letting me do my thing even if you wish my thing was something else. You are the best in the land and I really do owe you everything.
To the blogger nation: Thank you for being badass. Thank you for loving books. Thanks for keeping shit real. Thanks for working so hard often with little reward. Thank you for being invested and interested. Thank you for being on the front lines; sometimes it gets bloody and brutal there, but you never give up the fight . . . neither will I.
My professional team. Amanda, Jessie, Elle, Molly (the whole Harper crew) . . . all you kick-ass chicks in NYC who do what you do like no other, thanks. Thanks for putting up with me and believing in what I do . . . even if it never is quite the
status quo. Your support and faith is humbling in a business that often feels like it can eat you up and spit you out. At the end of the day I never doubt really amazing things will happen when we put our heads together. Kelly Simmon, thanks for answering the Bat Signal whenever it lights up and being all the kinds of awesome you are. Thanks for being clever and quick and thanks for being my friend. Stacey Donaghy, thanks for being you . . . which is an awful lot like being me! Seriously, thank you for just getting it . . . whatever it may be at the time.
My inner circle, what would I do without you guys? Melissa Shank . . . you are everything and then some more things . . . you always have been amazing and I feel so lucky I get to walk this road with you every single day (yes, I named Zeb’s mom after you), Ali, Debbie, Denise, Heather, Megan, Vilma, Jen Mc and Stacey (are you ready for my sweet dance moves?), thanks for simply getting me and getting what I do. Thanks for your honesty and time . . . I know how valuable it is. It may have all started out business but it feels so far removed from that now and I can honestly say you ladies are some of the real, true rewards that have ended up crossing my path along this journey. I love all your faces and want to smother you in so much love. You make me better and there aren’t enough words to thank you for that.
Thanks to the people who have crossed my path and make me happy every single day just by being them and by loving books the same way I do: Renee, Christine, Pamela, Stephanie, Damaris, Melissa ( Jersey), Matt, Becky, Pam, Courtney, LJ, and Carolyn . . . this is for you. Please just stay awesome and full of all the great things this industry needs.
To all the authors who are so disgustingly talented and so inordinately gracious with their time and gifts, thank you for being my inspirations and my friends. You are all brilliant and who you are as people as well as storytellers is unparalleled. This huge thanks and virtual hug goes out to Jen Armentrout, Jenn Foor, Jenn Cooksey, Jen McLaughlin, Tiffany King, Cora Carmack, Emma Hart, Renee Carlino, Nyrae Dawn, Kristy Bromberg, Aleatha Romig, Tammara Webber, Megan Erickson, Jamie Shaw, Katie McGary, Penelope Douglas, Nicole Chase, Kristen Proby, Amy Jackson, Rebecca Shea, Laurelin Page, Ek Blair, Adrian Leigh, SC Stephens, Molly McAdams, Crystal Perkins, Kimberly Knight, Tijan, Karina Halle, Christina Lauren, Chelsea M. Cameron, Sophie Jordan, Daisy Prescott, Michelle Valentine, Felicia Lynn, Harper Sloan, Monica Murphy, Erin McCarthy, Liliana Hart, Laura Kaye, Heather Self, and Kathleen Tucker. Seriously, I admire every author on this list, and what they add to this business and to my writerly life. If you are looking for a solid book to read, I promise one of theirs won’t disappoint.
I can never thank my mom and dad enough for all the things they have done for me or for the enormous amount of support they have shown since this writing gig took off. They are just the best of the best and no kid is luckier than me. Thanks, Mom and Dad, for being all the things . . . ALWAYS.
As always, I love to give my buddy Mike Maley a shout-out because he’s an awesome dude and he spends a lot of time taking care of things for me when I’m not around to do it. You’re the best, Mike, and I don’t know what I would do without you . . . at all!
Last but not least, thanks to my furry little entourage for being my heart. Woof!
If you would like to contact me, there are a bazillion places you can do so!
https://www.facebook.com/jay.crownover
https://www.facebook.com/AuthorJayCrownover?ref=hl
@jaycrownover
www.jaycrownover.com
http://jaycrownover.blogspot.com/
https://www.goodreads.com/Crownover
http://www.donaghyliterary.com/jay-crownover.html
http://www.avonromance.com/author/jay-crownover
Thank you for everything.
Love & Ink
Jay
IT TAKES A BRAVE MAN TO WEATHER THE STORM WHEN HE’S
CHARGED
WITH BEING BOTH LOVER AND LAWYER TO A PINK-HAIRED HURRICANE . . .
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
JAY CROWNOVER is the New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of the Marked Men and Welcome to the Point series. Like her characters, she is a big fan of tattoos. She loves music and wishes she could be a rock star, but since she has no aptitude for singing or instrument playing, she’ll settle for writing stories with interesting characters that make the reader feel something. She lives in Colorado with her three dogs.
Discover great authors, exclusive offers, and more at hc.com
BY JAY CROWNOVER
The Saints of Denver Series
Built
The Welcome to the Point Series
Better When He’s Brave
Better When He’s Bold
Better When He’s Bad
The Marked Men Series
Asa
Rowdy
Nash
Rome
Jet
Rule
CREDITS
Cover design by Studio Takoma/Zoe Norvell
Cover photograph © by Kevin Irby Photography
COPYRIGHT
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
BUILT. Copyright © 2016 by Jennifer M. Voorhees. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
FIRST EDITION
ISBN 978-0-06-238594-9
EPub Edition JANUARY 2016 ISBN: 9780062385956
16 17 18 19 20 OV/RRD 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
ABOUT THE PUBLISHER
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