by Sophie Love
“No!” Keira protested. She knew far too well what a sloppy drunk she could be, and how easily she drank too much when she was feeling emotional. Alcohol was the last thing she needed right now.
But it was too late. An overfilled glass of white wine was thrust through the crowd toward her. She took it from the extended, bodyless hand, peering through the crack between people’s heads to see who was offering it.
“MAX!” Keira cried, when she realized, finally, it was her other best friend.
Max wedged herself through a small gap between two tall, immovable-looking guys, and hugged Keira.
“Hi, stranger,” she said. “It’s so good to see you.” They drew apart and Maxine smiled at her, her dark eyes glittering with kindness. “I was so worried about you I even texted your sister.”
Keira’s eyebrows shot up. Maxine and Bryn hated each other. Some inexplicable feud neither could remember the origins of made their relationship frosty at best.
“She didn’t tell me,” Keira said.
“Of course she didn’t,” Maxine replied, rolling her eyes. “Anyway, I’m glad you’re here now. Now I can tell you face to face that you’re a strong, powerful, wonderful woman who’s not defined by a man.”
Keira laughed. It felt like the first genuine smile she’d cracked in days.
“Thanks, Max,” she said, nudging her friend.
Feeling a little happier, Keira took a sip of the wine. It was nice, with a delicate, light flavor. Instantly she could imagine Cristiano’s voice in her head, telling her it would pair wonderfully with seafood. She felt a pang of loss.
“Have you noticed that Rob is staring at you?” Maxine asked suddenly, breaking into her thoughts.
“No,” Keira said, looking over to where he was leaning against the fridge. He looked away immediately.
“You should talk to him,” Maxine urged. “He clearly likes you.”
Keira shook her head. “I’m not in the right place to be liked right now. Cristiano was a rebound from Shane, remember. And look how badly that went.”
“Shane was a rebound from Zach,” Maxine reminded her. “And it was the best decision you’d made for yourself in a long time.”
Keira shook her head again. She lowered her voice. “Please can I just have one night without thinking about relationships?”
Maxine let out a reluctant sigh. “Fine. But on one condition.” She grabbed Keira’s hand. “You dance with me all night!”
Keira exhaled loudly but didn’t put up much resistance as Maxine tugged her into the middle of the living room. The couches had been pushed back, the coffee table moved to the side, and there were a few other people already dancing in the space. Standing right in the middle of the room like that certainly wasn’t Keira’s first idea of fun, but anything was better than being forced into flirting.
Shelby bounded over then, throwing her arms around both Keira and Maxine.
“My faves!” she cried. “Have I told you two recently how much I love you?”
Keira laughed.
“Someone’s drunk,” Maxine commented.
“Yup!” Shelby confirmed. Then she raised her voice and yelled over the music. “And it feels awesome!”
They began dancing together to the track, pulling silly, overly enthusiastic dance moves. Keira let herself relax into the moment. She drank more from her glass of wine, giving herself permission to enjoy herself and let her hair down just a little bit. With her best girlfriends she could loosen the reins a bit.
Her glass was empty when Shelby suddenly exclaimed loudly, “Oh my God! When was the last time we did shots together?”
She grabbed both their hands, looking from one to the other with expectant excitement, like she’d had the best idea in the world.
“No way,” Keira said, shaking her head. She was already one extremely large glass of wine down. Adding a shot to the mix would be dangerous.
“Come on!” Shelby said, pouting. She bounced up and down, her expression and tiny frame making her look like a petulant pixie. “We have tequila!”
Keira recalled how the three of them had always had tequila shots back at college parties, almost ritualistically on a night out, and just how much fun it had been.
“For old times’ sake?” Maxine said, nudging her.
Maybe one wouldn’t hurt, Keira thought.
“Okay, okay,” she said finally, giving in to peer pressure for the umpteenth time that night.
Taking Keira by the shoulders, Shelby steered her over to the kitchen counter, Maxine following behind like a conga line. David was there talking to a group of his male friends, Rob included.
“Babe, we’re doing tequila,” Shelby slurred, reaching an arm around his shoulders and planting a sloppy kiss on his cheek. Her engagement ring sparkled under the bright lights.
David gave her one of his adoring looks and Keira looked away, feeling a pang of jealousy deep in the pit of her stomach. As she averted her gaze, she inadvertently looked straight into Rob’s. He seemed to have a matching expression to her own, like he was holding back envy. She wondered whether he was currently riding the wave of a breakup like she was.
“Of course, my darling,” David told Shelby, kissing her nose.
She unslung her arms from around his neck, and he went over to the cupboards, collecting the things they’d need—tequila bottle, salt, and shot glasses.
“Rob, can you get the limes?” Shelby instructed, pointing at the fridge his back was against.
Keira watched him fish a bag of limes out from inside the refrigerator. He came over to the counter and placed them down.
“I’ll have one of those, too,” he said, nodding to the row of shot glasses David was lining up.
“HELL YEAH!” Shelby cried.
She reached for a knife to begin cutting limes and promptly had it removed from her hand by Maxine.
“Let me do that, okay, hon?” Max said with a giggle.
Shelby nodded.
Once everything was ready and the shot glasses filled, David, Rob, Keira, Maxine, and Shelby took their positions in front of them. They salted their hands and each picked up a shot glass, readying themselves for the countdown.
“Three, two, one!” Shelby cried.
Keira necked the shot back. The liquor burned her throat immediately. The taste was intense and she swallowed quickly, feeling heat race down her gullet. Wincing, she licked the salt quickly, then grabbed a lime wedge and sucked on it.
With watering eyes, she looked over at her friends. Shelby pulled her own lime out of her mouth and threw it onto the countertop, before suddenly retching. Then she turned and threw up violently in the sink.
David burst out laughing, and hurried over to comfort her. Maxine followed suit, discarding her lime and giggling loudly.
Keira was left just with Rob. She looked over at him. He was laughing, his lime still wedged in his mouth.
“Shelby is such a lightweight,” he said, taking it out finally.
Keira took her own lime out of her mouth. The tequila reached her stomach, and warmth spread all through her.
“It’s not her fault,” she said, smiling. “There aren’t many five-foot-nothing, hundred-pound women who can hold their liquor.”
“You’re doing okay,” he commented.
Keira patted her newly rounded stomach as if it were an explanation.
“So, anyway,” she said. “What did you think of your shot?”
“It was all right,” Rob replied, shrugging nonchalantly. “But I’ve gotta admit, I’m more of a beer guy. Thought I’d give it a try.”
“I commend you,” Keira replied.
She could feel her cheeks getting warm from the mixture of wine and liquor. For the first time in days, she felt willing and able to have a conversation.
“So Rob, what have you been up to for the last…” She counted in her head. “…seven years?”
“Regenerating every cell in my body,” he said.
Keira frowned with con
fusion. “Huh?”
“Seven years. That’s how long it takes for every cell in your body to have regenerated,” he explained. “There’s a theory that it’s why people get a seven-year itch in relationships.”
“Oh,” Keira said. “I don’t think I’ll ever reach seven years in a relationship.”
Rob laughed. “No. Me neither. I can do one. Sometimes two. But anything beyond that is unknown territory.”
“Same,” Keira replied. She could tell the alcohol had already loosened her tongue somewhat. It felt nice to enjoy communicating again. She reached for the tequila. “Another?”
Rob raised his eyebrows. “Sure.”
Keira poured them each another shot. They took it in turn to salt their hands, and then this time, she counted them in. “Three, two, one!”
They took the shot in unison, slamming their glasses down at the same time, licking their salted hands and reaching for the lime slices. They both went for the same piece, and Keira playfully batted Rob’s hand away, snatching it up from him. She sucked it, laughing, then took it from her lips.
“That was funn—” she began, but her words were cut off when Rob suddenly lunged in and kissed her. Keira pushed him away, horrified. “HEY!” she shouted. “What the hell was that?”
Rob looked stunned. “What do you mean?” he demanded. “You were flirting with me.”
“NO I wasn’t!” Keira said back. Worse than having someone’s lips on hers without consent was the accusation that she’d given him some kind of green light to do it when she most definitely hadn’t.
“Oh, please,” Rob replied, looking incensed. “Why did you keep looking at me then? Why did you offer me another drink?”
“Since when was looking akin to flirting?” Keira replied.
“Um, ever since our species evolved distinct male and female parts?” Rob shot back.
He looked furious. Keira realized then that he was actually inebriated. He’d been holding it well before, but with those two shots of tequila in quick succession, he’d clearly crossed over the line of what his body could handle, and he was suddenly looking very disheveled.
Keira turned away, not prepared to have a discussion with a drunken idiot over the nuances of flirting. But as she walked away she was stunned by Rob grabbing her arm, attempting to hold her back.
“Hey,” he said. “You should apologize.”
“What?” she demanded, the tequila swilling in her stomach giving her confidence. “YOU should apologize. I haven’t done anything.”
“You led me on!”
Keira felt rage take over. “You’re a pig!” she cried out, reaching for the closest glass of alcohol. She found a discarded, full wine glass and threw its contents into Rob’s face.
She hurried away, grabbing her coat and scurrying from the house before anyone had a chance to stop her. She didn’t want Maxine or Shelby tailing her, trying to comfort her. She just wanted to go home.
Luckily, as she rushed down the street, a cab was coming her way, its light on. She hailed it.
It slowed at the curb and she leapt inside, telling the driver Bryn’s address. As she sped away, she saw Maxine and Shelby hurrying onto the doorstep, looking for her. She waved meekly at them from the back of the cab as it passed, then hunkered down in her seat. Humiliation made her cheeks burn. She rummaged in her purse, grabbing her cell phone to text Shelby an apology. But instead of messaging her friend, she found herself sending a message to Cristiano instead. Three simple words.
I miss you.
CHAPTER TWO
When Keira woke the next day, a feeling of mortification struck her. Memories of the party came flooding back, of the tequila shots with her friends and the whole unpleasant experience with Rob kissing her, and her throwing a drink in his face. But that wasn’t the worst thing. The worst thing that had happened was that she’d texted Cristiano.
She heaved back the covers, getting tangled in them in her haste to find her cell phone and falling flat on her ass. From the hard floor, she groaned and reached up to the coffee table, getting hold of it.
Once the phone was in her hands, Keira became too terrified to look. She hesitated, her thumb hovering over the button, before finally swallowing her anguish and pressing down.
Immediately, she saw she’d received several text notifications. Her heart leapt into her throat. Could one be from Cristiano? She clicked on the icon.
The first was Maxine asking if she was okay. The next; Maxine, again, asking her to let her know she got home okay. Then several from Shelby writing a stream of unconnected words spelled incorrectly, another from Maxine from earlier this morning stating that if Keira didn’t get in touch by midday she’d call the police, and finally one from her mom asking if she’d ever tried coconut milk in her latte. But nothing from Cristiano.
Her stomach sank. Disappointment settled deeply in her chest. But it was quickly replaced by a new sensation: relief. She’d taken the first step, broken the wall of silence between them, and Cristiano had chosen not to communicate in return. At least now she knew where she stood. She didn’t need to wonder anymore. As difficult as it was to know things were truly over, she was glad at least for some certainty.
She looked back at Maxine’s messages, no longer distracted by thoughts of Cristiano and able to pay them the attention they deserved.
Are you okay, hon? So sorry about Rob! What a jerk. I know you well enough to know you’re probably embarrassed about it, but you’re literally my hero right now.
She smiled to herself, her mortification of having made a spectacle of herself dissipating slightly. She typed a response.
Sorry for being silent. I must’ve fallen asleep as soon as I got home. Of course I’m embarrassed, but at least you’re proud of me.
She sent the message and went to put her phone away, then on second thought sent a text to her mom, Mallory. Yes. And it’s yummy.
She heard the sound of a key in the door then and jumped with surprise. As she turned to look over her shoulder, she saw Bryn enter the apartment, dressed in workout gear, her cheeks pink, hairline sweaty, and face grinning widely. Keira realized then that she was not alone. Felix was in tow. For an older gentleman he certainly looked all right in workout gear. He reminded her a little of the before model from an ad for male hair dye.
“You’re up,” Bryn said to Keira with a smile. “How was the party?”
“Could’ve been better,” Keira murmured in reply. “Where have you two been?”
Bryn went over to the sink to fill up her empty water bottle. It was Felix who answered Keira’s question.
“We just went for a jog,” he said.
Keira had to stop herself from exclaiming, “At your age?” Instead, she managed to censor herself and instead asked, “At this time of the morning?”
“Best time for it,” Felix replied. He raised one of his legs, resting it on a kitchen stool and stretching to touch his toes.
He was fitter than Keira, that much was evident. She’d let everything deteriorate in that department and her waistline was starting to suffer for it. It was all well and good eating and drinking to her heart’s content when she was hiking up Italian mountainsides, but now that her evenings consisted of binge-watching TV and eating pretzels, it wasn’t so great. She poked her stomach. It was definitely squishier than it used to be. She’d have to do something about that soon.
Bryn turned back from the sink and took a long swig from her bottle. “Have you heard from Mom?”
“Just some random text about coconut milk latte,” Keira replied.
Bryn laughed. “She’s losing her mind. She was supposed to let you know about dinner tonight.”
“Oh,” Keira replied.
“Well?” Bryn probed. “What do you say? Swanson ladies dinner date?”
“Isn’t Felix invited?” Keira asked, curiously. Mallory seemed to love Felix; either that or she was just very relieved that Bryn had finally started a stable relationship.
Felix switche
d to stretching his other leg. He glanced at Keira, his hands outstretched clasping the toe of his sneaker. “I’ve got plans with my own family tonight. It’s my parents’ wedding anniversary.”
Once again, Keira had to bite her tongue to stop from blurting out something rude. But she really was surprised that Felix’s parents were alive and kicking. They must be well into their eighties, the age Keira’s grandparents would have been had either still been alive.
“That’s lovely,” she managed to say.
“What shall I tell Mom?” Bryn asked.
“Tell her okay,” Keira replied.
Maybe some mollycoddling could help kick-start her out of her funk. There really was nothing like Mallory’s maternal cloying to remind Keira how important her independence was.
Bryn and Felix exchanged a nod and then headed for the door.
“Where are you going?” Keira asked.
“Second five K,” Bryn replied.
“Ten before breakfast has always been my motto,” Felix added.
They waved and swirled out the door. Keira blinked at it. It was hard to believe that anyone could be that physically active, let alone a sixty-something man. She wondered how long it took someone to train to run 10k and realized it wouldn’t take that long at all. Certainly less than a year. Felix could have started his fitness regime on his sixtieth birthday for all she knew. It was never too late to make a change.
She realized, suddenly, that she needed to stop sitting around feeling sorry for herself. Overcome by a surge of motivation, Keira grasped her work bag and pulled out her notebook. She quickly wrote a list of all the things she needed to change in her life, including losing a couple of extra pounds and getting her roots touched up. She scanned the list and realized there was one very important change she needed to make to get her life back on track, and that was getting herself into her own apartment. The longer she stayed sleeping on Bryn’s couch, the harder it was becoming to ever imagine herself being independent, standing on her own two feet again.
She fetched her laptop and went onto a real estate website. She hadn’t checked apartment prices for at least a couple of years, having been settled with Zach for so long, and the prices made her eyes water. But if she added up her work bonuses and the several grand she’d saved just from not having to pay rent or for any of her food for the last few months, she might just be able to scrape together enough to put down a deposit. On paper she looked like a safe bet, since she had a steady job with a decent income. She started to feel the first glimmer of hope in days.
