by Raine Miller
"I know." I reached over and gave her hand a squeeze. "I would've gone alone today. I only go there for my mother's benefit anyway."
"And then I showed up bleeding last night, and you decided you could take me along and get your father off your back?" I could see her tilting her head at me in question from my peripheral vision. Evidently, Winter wasn't the only one needing some eye contact while we talked. I couldn't wait to get her home and in my arms close against me. More than anything, I wanted to kiss her. It was weird, but I wanted that—the freedom to kiss her and not have it be this undecided taboo between us.
"Not exactly, but you're in the general vicinity of the truth." This time I turned toward her, and even in the dim light inside the car…she took my breath away. Her pretty eyes glittered at me, so expressive and questioning. But not in a judgmental way. She wanted some answers as anyone would. "I hoped I could avoid a confrontation with my father over the stupid shit he pulls with me constantly, but you need to know that I have absolutely no problem telling my dad to leave me alone, and that I won't be getting married to support his political aspirations. That was my first plan anyway. He doesn't dictate to me."
I had to drag my eyes away from her and back onto the road.
She sighed and then whispered, "I thought we were just friends. That you only thought of me as your best friend's little sister. So what made you decide to lead him into thinking that we are together?"
Haven't thought of you like that for years, beautiful. But now's not the time...
"It was something you did actually…well, something you said to me last night that changed my mind." The gorgeous vision of her coming apart for me while saying she loved me had done things to my heart. Even now, nearly twenty-four hours later, the dull ache hadn't subsided.
"Oh no, James, what did I say?" There was panic in her voice.
"No. I'm not telling you while I'm driving. I need to be able to look at you when we talk about what happened last night."
"You're scaring me."
"Nothing to be scared of, Win. It's just me, remember? What did I tell you before we arrived at my parents' earlier?" I pegged her with a hard look.
"You'll never do anything to hurt me," she answered in a subdued voice along with the unmistakable signs of fighting off the urge to squirm in her seat. Fuck. That simple move of hers was all it took to send a spike of hot lust straight down the length of my cock. Mine. Everything she did—or didn't do—had the same effect on me, apparently. And she has absolutely no idea.
"That's right, beautiful one. Don't you forget it. If I make a decision that involves you, it will always be something meant in the spirit of your protection and with your happiness in mind."
She nodded easily. Or maybe more of an act of submission. "I will remember, James," she answered quietly before resting her hands gracefully in her lap and relaxing into the seat for the remainder of the drive home.
Yep. I could read the signs all right. By the time we'd made it back, I had a better understanding about her behaviors and body language. It led me into crazy fantasies of tying her to my bed and fucking her into the mattress, yes, but that attraction had been present for a while in me. This was something far more than mere attraction.
I'd bet it all on the idea that Winter was naturally submissive with me and would be when it came to sex. I'd seen it. After spending so much time with her in close contact, my mind was running rampant with filthy thoughts. And how in the holy hell was I supposed to subdue the images of us together rolling through my head like an 8mm porno? Pointless to even try, asshole.
Jesus fuck…
We hadn't even gotten out of the car before the plans changed yet again. I was just about to open my mouth and ask her if she'd like to come up to my place when her phone pinged. I watched her expression as she read it, and even predicted what it would be about.
"Lucas wants to pick me up tonight instead of in the morning," she said as she read his text aloud. "He says nine o'clock at BGE. That means I have less than two hours to get changed, pack a bag, and make it to the helipad." She looked at me and smiled one of her half-smiles I found so sexy.
"All right, I'll take you." I hated she was leaving, but the rational part of my brain knew it was wiser. What in the hell was I thinking anyway? That she would stay over at my place? Sleep in my bed? Let me have her any way I wanted? You're a delusional fucking freak for even going there in your head.
"Thank you, James," she answered as she texted him back to let him know she'd be there. Once she was done, she sunk into the heated leather and gave me her full attention. She appeared relaxed, but I knew she hadn't forgotten what I'd promised her earlier—that we would talk about things.
"You're welcome, but you know we don't have anywhere close to enough time for our talk like I promised you. I don't want to rush it, because it's important, and we need some time to process everything." I picked up her hand and held it. Lucas might have changed the plans for our quiet evening of soul-baring conversation, but in a way, I was relieved. Talking about what had happened the previous night would have to wait. The timing was way off for any kind of serious conversation about the future. Deciding if we were getting married any time soon certainly qualified as serious.
"I know that, but I really need to know what's going on here…between us. You kissed me earlier and it—"
"What about the kiss?" It was rude of me to ask her the question after cutting her off from answering, but suddenly I was desperate to know what she'd thought of it.
"It was good." I didn't miss the flush that crept up her neck to color her cheeks. Shy Winter did very dirty things to my imagination. Yet, I also saw trust in her expression. She wasn't submitting to me because she felt weakened by me. Less than me. Unlike my mother with my father. I now knew how attracted Winter was to me, and by the end of the night, she'd have no doubt how fucking gorgeous I saw her. She'd known me a long time, knew I was fairly serious for the most part, and knew I'd behaved differently with her today. But for now, I had to tease her a little more. I had to see her fire.
"Well, I should hope it was good, because you begged me to do it."
"Oh my God, I did not." She ripped her hand out of mine and glared at me.
I couldn't help laughing at her outraged expression. "Oh yes, you did, beautiful." I nodded slowly, allowing myself the luxury of taking my fill of looking at her. If I could, I'd take her upstairs and lock her inside my apartment and keep her with me until we'd hashed out every detail of how this would roll out—preferably naked or pretty fucking close to naked.
Her, me, us—together.
Because she was already mine, and if anyone was going to have Winter Blackstone, that man would be me.
It will be me.
Chapter Twelve
WINTER
At the elevator my phone pinged a text alert. Unknown number. Thank you. Your generous gift helps so much...Shane & Brenna love Ms Winter! Alanna Markham "Oh my God, James—Shane and Brenna's mom just texted me." I tossed my phone to him. "Read it." Unable to contain my joy, I jumped up and down. She has a little help now. The kids would get some winter clothes…and new jackets…and new shoes. This meant everything to me. Helping people, for whom even the smallest bit of extra help, could make such a huge difference to their daily life—
"Easy there, trampoline queen, we're in the elevator." He said it absently while studying my phone.
"Don't slow my roll, please. This is very good news to me, and it makes me incredibly happy to be able to help them just with this one small thing."
"It's not a small thing," he said distractedly while tapping into my phone.
I could tell he wasn't really paying attention to me. I doubted he even heard me. "James? What's wrong?"
He looked up and gave me an expression that was hard to read at first, but then it morphed into one of admiration. "You have no idea how good you are. You don't even realize it." James had been listening.
"But what I did today with the cash an
d the gift card was basically nothing. Just giving a tiny bit of something I have too much of, to Shane and Brenna who don't have enough. It won't change their situation long-term, but it helps them today. I want to do so much more, James. If I could help in a big way—"
"You will. I know it. And if I can help you make it happen sooner rather than later, then will you be my wife, Winter Blackstone? And also, you need to know I definitely won't be marrying you just to dissolve the marriage later. That's not part of the deal anymore."
My heart stopped beating for an instant as our eyes held. I felt the stutter deep inside my chest stab me with a jolt of pain before spreading warmth through my chest. As much as I wanted to scream YEEEESSSS from the rooftops, I knew he wasn't being literal in the moment, but simply reinforcing his incredible offer from earlier. Oh, how I love you, James Blakney.
I put one hand over my heart and moved toward him. I came right up underneath his chin very close and cocked my head sideways. The serious expression combined with the hard set of his jaw made him look a little dangerous and a lot beautiful as he waited for me to speak. I put my other hand up to his cheek and held it there, his beard stubble feeling so much softer against my palm than it had against my lips when he kissed me before. "Well, when you put it like that, then I want you to know that I will definitely consider it, Mr. Blakney. Thank you for the generous offer, sir."
He growled sexily, brought those beautiful lips of his to mine, and kissed me. Almost as if he couldn't help himself. James kissed the fuck out of me in the elevator of our building as we rode to the top. He owned my mouth with his tongue wildly at first, but then made slow passes and caresses. I have no idea how long we kissed—and would have happily made out with James for hours—but as I opened my eyes, the elevator door was clanging open and shut obnoxiously.
We had arrived on the eleventh floor far too soon…and the timing truly sucked. Again.
James was the perfect gentleman while I got ready for Lucas to pick me up. He watched my every move though, like he was the hungry lion and I was the prey. There was no mistaking his intentions anymore. James wanted me. Something last night had definitely changed the way he behaved with me. He hadn't told me what it was. Maybe he didn't want to embarrass me by sharing it yet. It would be like James to spare my feelings.
But if I was completely honest with myself, I didn't care. If I wanted him, and he wanted me, then halle-fricking-lujah. I could live with whatever it was and wait to see where things went with us. Last night had been a traumatic situation that morphed into a what-the-hell-was-that-crazy-weirdness-with-his-parents showdown. Parents who believe you are marrying their son. However, I didn't feel pressured or pushed by him. He had my back, whatever the outcome, so I could trust in that. I'd trust him with my life. And hell, if it meant I got to kiss James more, I was so down for that.
I took a deep, steadying breath as James parked in the underground garage of the Blackstone Global building in my best effort to shake off my nerves. A couple days away to think would be good for me right now. I needed some downtime to process everything, and James agreed, because he'd suggested we both do just that. I'd be back on Saturday afternoon to get ready for The Autumn Ball, which we were attending together since he'd invited me a few weeks ago. I never dreamed it would be us in any sense as other than friends, but now it would be. Waiting a couple days might actually help reconcile what James had said about marriage. To me. I should feel like a pawn, but I didn't. "For the last couple of weeks, I've thought about you a lot… Winter, you're the only one I thought of." Truthfully, James was the only man I could imagine in my life forever too. And marrying him? Well, I needed to know it wasn't just a paper deal, because I'd only fall more deeply in love with him. So, I knew I needed some time.
I also knew that when the time came, I wouldn't have to ask. He would be the one to initiate the discussion. Because I believed James when he'd said, in no uncertain terms, I was important to him and that he'd never hurt me. I had nothing else to compare those words against. He had always been there for me, and it was all I'd ever known with him. No reason to suspect anything different.
As he steered me toward the elevator that would take us to the helipad, his hand burned at the base of my spine. His touch felt different now. Like he was staking a claim. I shivered involuntarily as the doors closed us in together.
He promptly backed me into the corner, bracing his arms alongside my shoulders to pen me in. His big body crowded me, and his eyes did a lazy dance of staring before he spoke. "Thank you for today," he said simply in a low voice. He reached out a finger to trace my cheekbone and down to my jaw, his soft touch holding me spellbound.
I wished I wasn't going to Blackstone Island and leaving him behind in Boston.
"Thank you for last night…and today," I replied in a whisper, hoping like hell he'd kiss me in the elevator again. Elevator kisses from James were my new favorite.
James was an incredibly beautiful man. A sculpted jaw shadowed with a few days of beard growth framed a face with the most expressive eyes I'd ever seen. I'd melt if I stared into his eyes for any period of time like I was right now. I took my offered chance and experienced the "melting" right on schedule, no problem whatsoever.
"Last night did have some very nice parts to it." He tipped his mouth down.
"I sure wish you'd let me in on that mysterious secret." I tilted my mouth toward his.
"Aren't all secrets mysterious?"
"Yes, but I still need to know."
"All in good time, sweetheart, and I'd much rather show you anyway."
Please show me.
My heart pounded crazily inside my chest.
"Oh, I plan on it," he said, just before touching his lips to mine. Clearly, I'd spoken my request out loud.
Dwelling on my mortification was a waste with James. He had a way of stripping down inhibitions and forcing them to take a back seat to the main issue. Which right now…was to kiss me.
He owned me with those magic lips of his. Magic lips. Magic tongue. He used both to press his way inside and proceeded to devour my mouth.
I welcomed every lick and swirl of him, offering myself to be devoured without hesitation. I lost any inhibitions the moment he put his mouth on me. I couldn't help it. Years of longing from afar finally had a place to land.
I felt his hand settle on my neck, his thumb moving slowly back and forth at the hollow of my throat, while his tongue pressed deeper inside, hot and hard. He had me trapped in the corner in such a way that I couldn't touch him back, and it was hot as hell. Held firmly and being mouth-fucked by James, it was all I could do to hang on for the ride of the best kiss I'd ever had.
Years of dreaming didn't even come close to doing his kiss—his passionate expertise—justice.
The flavors of whiskey and cinnamon met my tongue, delicious and seductive just like him. I felt him arch his hips inward, and I desperately sought to learn his taste. The feel of his body pressed hard against mine was sublime. My nipples pebbled into aching tips, and there was a luscious tingle where I was wet between my legs. Add one massive erection heating me further through our two layers of clothing, and I was blissfully lost in the kiss and the knowledge he was aroused as much as I was.
It all ended too soon though. When the ding of the elevator signaled we'd arrived at the top, he pulled away. I heard a moan of protest and realized it had come from me. The door opened as the thwack of helicopter rotors filled the silence. Lucas was coming in right on time. The doors swung closed again with a swoosh when we didn't move.
"Look at me," he said.
I met his eyes upon command and saw him smiling at me. It wasn't a smirk, and it wasn't smug. I hadn't seen a smiling James much in the last five years. God, it's even worse knowing his own father was somehow involved as well. If I made him smile like this, then what did that mean for me?
I was afraid to hope.
"I'm looking," I whispered.
"You're so beautiful to me…right now…right he
re…like this."
I do feel beautiful. I feel beautiful because of the way you look at me. No one had ever looked at me as if I was their...as if I was their world.
"James, I…I want you to know—"
"Shhh, sweetheart, no words needed right now. Okay?" He'd put two fingers over my lips to hush me, but strangely it didn't bother me. If anything, it relieved me knowing he wasn't going to allow me to take this into awkward territory. I trust this man implicitly. It's almost instinctive.
I nodded and fought the urge to lick his fingers pressed against my freshly kissed lips.
"I'd like for you to think about what we talked about today and let that settle before we go any further. I'll be here waiting to take you to the ball on Saturday, and maybe you'll know more about what you want to do then." He slid his fingers away from my lips.
"All right. But, James, I want you to know that if you change your mind or have second thoughts about your offer, I will understand."
He lost the smile as he took hold of my face. "What makes you say that?"
"I don't want you to do anything you're not sure about."
"Oh, I won't change my mind, Winter. This is all about you and what you want." The intensity of his eyes seared right through me as I shouted out I DEFINITELY WANT YOU inside my head. I was left with no doubt that he read my mind, because he smiled again, his handsome face lighting up for me a second time. "Are you going to say anything to your family about what we've talked about?"
"No." I shook my head. I didn't want to share James with anyone yet. I needed him to be my secret for now. I couldn't justify any good reason for feeling that way, either. I only knew it was what I planned to do.
"I think that's probably best for now, but I do expect a text letting me know you made it to the island safely."
"I will."
He nodded once and stepped back, releasing me from my spot in the corner. Then he picked up my bag, punched the button to open the elevator doors, and led me to the helipad. I shivered, but I wondered if it was the chilly night air or that he was letting me go. I suddenly felt sad leaving him, even though I knew it was a completely irrational thought. I needed to sleep it off. Too much had happened in too few hours for me to even approach any sort of rational thinking.
