She knew she should say yes. This was…this was not like her. But everything in her screamed for him to continue, to keep exploring her body until even she found parts of herself she’d never known existed.
Biting her lip, she shook her head. Heath’s answering smile was wide and devilish. Her anticipation grew.
His fingers touched the innermost part of her thigh. Meredith clung to him, letting those waves and waves of pleasure wash over her as he continued to kiss her. Her uncertainty fled in light of that pleasure. Never had she wanted something as much as she wanted this. Even though she knew that she shouldn’t, that she was a lady and ladies must always wait until the night of their wedding, Meredith honestly could not care any less.
A single finger slid over that throbbing spot. She was quite slick, it seemed, and she could not feel it against her thigh. He didn’t seem alarmed by it, however. If anything, he liked it, judging by the way he smiled.
So, she smiled as well, giving in to the sudden happiness. It was hard to believe that just a few minutes ago, she’d been wallowing in her sadness. Burdening herself with the negative thoughts bombarding her rather than seeking out a positive solution. Now, she could hardly fathom what she had been so upset about.
His finger continued to slide between the apex of her thighs until her legs began to buckle. There was a heady sensation coming over her, and she was fast losing the strength in her limbs. But as if he knew that, Heath held her upright, only breaking away from her lips to nibble on the other side of her neck.
And then, the world disappeared. Meredith threw her hand over her mouth in time to stifle her gasp as it felt like she soared into the air. She knew then that Heath had kept her from slipping to the floor, had held onto her while her body shook with that unsurmountable ecstasy. It was beyond anything Meredith had ever felt before, and when she came back to reality, she wished it would not end.
To make matters worse, Heath was pulling away from her. Meredith clung to him, still a bit dazed. “What happened? Did I do something wrong?”
Heath huffed a laugh. “No, you didn’t, sweet thing,” he said, kissing her tenderly on the nose. “But if I do not stop now, I will not be able to stop later.”
“Why do we need to stop?” she asked. Her mind was still far too muddled for her to comprehend what he was saying.
Heath seemed to be taking a lot of joy in that. “My, you do not know the power you hold over the lesser sex, do you?” he mused aloud. He reached a hand up to push her curls back under the pins a useless feat. “I will not find joy in taking your innocence before you are ready. You are far too special for that.”
Meredith didn’t know what to say. He pulled away from her, and for the first time, the cold that fell over her was unwelcomed. But she said nothing as she watched him pad over to the fallen necklace and pick it up. He held it up to her. “I know my earlier intentions were not the best,” he said. “But now that we have reconciled things, I hope that you will wear it? It truly does suit you.”
Meredith was having as difficult a time coming to terms with what she had said as she was with the man before her, who seemed so different. Looking at him now, it was hard to believe he had nearly killed a man merely the night before.
“Have you gone back to your silence?” he asked as he approached her, his voice tinged with humor.
Meredith snapped out of it. “I am at a loss for words,” she admitted. “I do not know what to do with your kindness.”
“Considering all that we had just done, Meredith, my kindness is the very least that you deserve.”
She nodded. She supposed that was right. Heath stepped behind her and proceeded to clasp the necklace around her neck again.
“What do you mean you will not take pleasure in taking my innocence?” she asked suddenly. It had been weighing on her mind ever since he said it and she couldn’t help the wave of insecurity that came over her. It was clear that Heath was a man who knew far more than she did. All her years spent shut away from the world had kept her completely in the dark in matters such as this.
“Hmm?” He seemed distracted, studying the necklace that was once against resting right above her cleavage.
“Do you not think I will be able to please you?” she asked.
Heath’s eyes widened. And then he barked in laughter. “Heavens, Meredith, what are you thinking? Do you truly believe that is possible?”
She blushed, but she didn’t look away from him. There was no longer any denying it. She wanted him. She was falling for him. And that beautiful pleasure he’d given to her…she wanted to give to him.
Meredith didn’t care about being a proper lady. With the rumors swirling about her amongst the ton, and the fact that she had run away from home to live in the home of an unmarried man, she had long ago given up hope on that.
“Then what did you mean?” she demanded to know.
Heath was staring at her with a mixture of awe and surprise. Then he shook his head, taking her hand. He pulled her into him, and Meredith instantly felt comforted by his warm touch. “It is not that I do not want you, Meredith, nor is it that I think you will be able to please me. That latter remark seems truly impossible. It is because I only want to treat you with the utmost respect and wait until it is time.”
But, for us to wait would mean he is thinking of…
Meredith didn’t dare to finish the thought, didn’t dare to give herself that false hope. She knew there were still unsaid words laying between them, things that could rip them apart. Like the things that were being said about her, the reason she’d retreated away from the world in the first place.
A smile itching at her lips, she gazed up at him while relaxing in his arms. “It sounds me like you have quite a lot of experience,” she coaxed lightly.
“Is that truly something you wish to hear?”
She lifted a brow at him. “Just how many conquests have you had, Heath?”
Heath smiled down at her. “That is not a trap I intend to fall into, I’ll have you know.” He kissed her on her forehead. “In fact, I think I will be running away from this conversation.”
“You have never run away from anything,” she protested.
“No, but you have powers unknown to man, it seems.” He didn’t seem to want to leave, nor did it look like he wanted to stop kissing her. He gave her a small kiss on her each cheek and then her lips before he pulled away, sighing. “I must return to my office. There are matters that need to be seen to.
She tried to mask her disappointment. “I understand. I do not want to be the reason you neglect your duties.”
He nodded, then turned away before facing her again. “If you are thinking of pleasing me, then perhaps you should wear that necklace to dinner this evening.”
Meredith smiled. It felt on her lips, and she realized suddenly that it had been years since she’d last smile with such abandon. But as she stared at Heath, realizing that she would have no choice but to give her heart fully to him, a smile was all she could think to do. “Then wear it I shall,” she told him.
Heath returned her grin. He bowed with a flourish and then she watched him take his leave. The moment he was gone, Meredith flopped onto her bed, spreading her arms wide.
She was happy, she realized. Happier than she’d been in years.
Chapter 18
“Forgive the intrusion, Your Grace.” The knock on the door was followed by Francis’ voice, cutting straight through Heath’s thoughts. He instantly straightened in his seat, fixed his waistcoat, ran his fingers through his hair. Anything that would make the direction of his thoughts seem a little less obvious to his overly perceptive butler.
“Enter,” Heath ordered when he was certain he was fine. He picked up the quill pen on the desk and pulled a few documents in front of him. The very same documents he had left Meredith’s side to pour over, which had been neglected up until that point.
Francis swept into the room bearing a single letter in his hand, with a seal Heath recognized al
l too well. He resisted the urge to groan, dropping the quill. Francis didn’t stop until he was standing right before the desk, holding the letter up for Heath to see.
“This is for you, Your Grace,” he stated. “It appears to be from the Duke of Corshire.”
The Duke of Corhsire had been hounding Heath whenever he saw him, hoping for a partnership in their shipping companies. Heath had been tempted to inform him that his steward was the one who took care of the business, but that would only bring on more questions than he’d cared to hear.
“God, that man has quite the talent for showing up whenever he is not wanted, doesn’t he?” Heath held out his hand. “Give it here. I know it will do no good for me to ignore him.”
Francis handed him the letter and Heath wasted no time breaking the seal. He skimmed over the majority of it, the frivolous formalities that the Duke was adept at. Halfway to the bottom of the letter, Heath found the entire point of his contact in the first place.
With a sigh, he tossed the letter to the side.
“If I may ask, Your Grace,” Francis spoke up. “I assume the contents of that letter are exactly what you thought they would be?”
“I knew he would show up sooner or later,” Heath responded. He didn’t make it a habit of talking to Francis about his problems, but he was in far too good a mood to care. Not even that annoying letter could dampen his spirits. And, considering he’d already made his relationship issues clear to the butler, there was little he wouldn’t tell him anymore.
“What will you do then, Your Grace?” Francis asked.
Heath leaned over his desk, lacing his fingers together. “It is a simple matter. If I meet with him soon, I should have it over with without any trouble. But, if I leave it for too long, which I am tempted to do, he will undoubtedly hound me to the ends of the earth. He may even come here to speak with me in person.”
“That cannot happen,” Francis agreed with a nod.
“It certainly cannot. Not with the guest that I have.” The very same guest that was probably waiting for him right now. Heath got to his feet, rounding the desk. “I will think about that after dinner. Make sure we are not bothered.”
“As you wish, Your Grace.”
The prickle of annoyance that had come from that letter dissipated with every step he took towards the dining room. It had been some time since he’d left her bedchamber, since he’d stated his intention to finish work in his office. Since then, all Heath had done was stare blankly into the distance while the memory of their kiss filled his mind over and over again.
Not just the kiss, but all the smaller ones they’d done afterwards. The way she’d clung to him, and had panted in his ear. The uncertainty that had melted from her eyes into complete and utter trust. It had frightened him for a moment to know that she was placing herself in his hands. Never had a woman moved him like that before.
When he arrived at the dining room to find her already seated, awaiting his arrival, it stole his breath away. Heath could not find the strength to move.
It was true that he was no stranger to a woman’s touch. He’d indulged before, had found solace in those carnal acts to rid his mind of the pain, anger, and hatred that followed him constantly. It had certainly been a while since he’d last lain with a woman, but he did not recall ever reacting to any of them the way he reacted to Meredith. Simply looking at her made his loins tense with need.
As if she sensed his presence, she turned her head. The moment her eyes fell on him, Meredith gave him a wide smile.
It was like a punch to the gut, knocking the wind out his lungs. A fierce wave of protectiveness came over him, clogging his throat with the force of it. To see her smile at him, to see her walls come down and have her open up to him, to see a glimpse of the girl he’d once known. It was enough to drive Heath insane.
“Why are you standing over there?” she called to him. With her smile growing excited, she waved him over. “If you linger any longer, the food will become cold.”
Heath swallowed and nodded, unsticking his legs from the floor. She watched him approach, not taking her eyes off him even when he sat in the seat at the head of the table.
“Did you get a lot of work done?” she asked instantly.
Heath struggled to bring himself back to normal. This was not him. “Not as much as I should have, unfortunately. And you? What did you do for the rest of the day?”
Her smile remained on her face even as she lifted the spoon to her lips. “I went for a walk through the gardens. I spent most of my time there trying to cool down after—” She broke off, blushing.
The sight was too much for Heath to ignore. It brought on his own smile. “You seem to quite enjoy the cold, so I imagine you didn’t mind in the slightest.”
“Yes, I am quite fond of it,” she responded simply.
Heath began eating as well, eyeing her. She looked as lovely as she usually did, her hair done up in an elegant updo. Though the dress she wore was still a bit old-fashioned, there was no denying that she looked beautiful in it.
She seemed quite shy as well, sending him furtive glances while she ate. It was quite adorable to see. When he thought of how she’d looked up at him in question just moments earlier, he couldn’t stop himself from laughing silently to himself.
She caught the movement, lifting her brows in question. “Is something funny?”
“You are,” he said honestly. “I find it hard to believe that you are being so shy with me when just a few hours ago, you had seemed hellbent on screaming at me.”
She flushed deeply, looking down into her soup. “You do have the power to make me inordinately angry. Though, I must thank you.”
“Hm? For what?”
“Had you not barked at me, I think I would have spent the rest of my time here in silence. I fell into a pattern that is usually hard to scrape my way out of.”
Heath sobered up at the slightly sullen tone of her voice. “Ah, I see. Is that the same pattern that you had brought with you when you first arrived here?”
She nodded. “I have grown quite anxious around others. But you’ve helped immensely with that, so I must thank you.”
Heath was tempted to ask for more details. Had this been a week ago, he would have. But because he did not want to shift the happy air around them, he decided it would be best to leave it for another time. After all, prying into her past might only encourage her to pry into his.
“I must thank Annalise, as well,” Meredith went on. “She is quite the energetic and talkative sort and it is quite impossible not to warm up to her.”
“Did she notice anything…different about you when she returned to your bedchamber?”
Watching her blush was fast becoming an enjoyable habit of Heath’s. She did it so wonderfully, with a blink and a catch of her breath and a twitch of her lips into a smile she wasn’t certain she should have. “She did,” she murmured.
“Is that so? What did she say?”
“She asked me a lot of questions.”
“And how did you respond to those questions?”
“I didn’t know whether to tell her the truth,” she admitted, closing her eyes as if she couldn’t believe she was saying that. “But she is quite persistent. And so, I…”
“You told her that something might have happened between you and the Duke of his household?” He asked the question in an idle manner, slightly teasing, and it had the exact effect he thought it would.
Meredith’s head shot up, her eyes growing wide. “Are you angry?” she asked.
Heath couldn’t help laughing. “Heavens, no. That would be the least of what my servants think of me, I am afraid. If you were comfortable enough to confide in her, then I am happy. I do understand that women need other women they can talk to.”
Meredith nodded eagerly. “You’re right. It certainly made me feel better to tell her a few things, though I did not tell her everything. I never had the chance to do such things with Jenny.”
“Jenny.”
“Ah, I see.” Heath watched her carefully. She never mentioned home, never mentioned her father or anyone else who may be worried about her. Heath knew it had to be something that was weighing in the back of her mind, but she continued along as if she was content to spend the rest of her life here.
Yet, right now, Heath saw something different. A flicker in her eyes. Of longing and sadness, which disappeared quickly when she blinked. Her smile hadn’t faltered and so Heath decided it might not be best to broach that topic right now.
“I will have to leave tomorrow morning.” Meredith looked up at him, frowning. She said nothing, but he could hear her question as clear as day. “No,” he said, shaking his head. “I will not be going to see the gang. There is a business meeting I must attend to in Bath. I am afraid that if I put it off for too long, it would only grow more pressing.”
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