Meredith had a spring in her step when she got out bed and Annalise, with that uncanny ability of hers to sense when Meredith was awake, picked up on it the moment she entered the room. She didn’t mention the conversation she’d overheard between Meredith and Mr. Gale yesterday. She only talked about the Duke, gushing over how jealous she was that Meredith got to see the man she loved every day.
Despite Meredith’s constant attempts to tell her that she was not in love with Heath, it failed. It didn’t sound very convincing to her own ears. After all, she was certain that, with each day that went by, she was slowly falling.
Last night had been the final step to take, a confession of her depressing past. He’d accepted it with all the concern, all the horror, she’d wanted. It was as if he’d taken her sadness and made it his own, as if he too had been there to witness such a terrible sight.
Meredith felt accepted. It was a feeling she did not want to let go of any time soon.
She didn’t say much as Annalise helped to prepare her for breakfast. She wanted to hold on to the memory of last night, even with the shadows of her midnight stroll and her recollection of the past. Annalise seemed content to do all the talking, however.
As soon as she was ready, Meredith hurried down to the drawing room. Her heart skipped a beat when she spotted Heath standing on the other side of the room, his hands clasped behind him, staring out the window.
He was so tall and handsome that she could hardly contain herself. She didn’t make herself known right away. She drank him in instead, taking in the slope of his broad shoulders and the strong arms that had pulled her to his chest last night. The large hands that had held her, cupped her chin, and stroked her hair and had kept her safe.
To think that the boy she’d once played with would grow up to be such a man. Even though it was clear he was burdened by a past that he could not forget, a past Meredith did not think would be appropriate to ask about right now, she couldn’t deny that he had grown up well.
“How long do you plan to stand there staring at me?” he asked. After a moment he tilted his head to the side, lifting his brow at her.
Even though Meredith’s breath hitched at his words, she didn’t hesitate to approach him. “I was simply taking in the view,” she said to him.
“My, my, you have quite the unfiltered mind, don’t you, Meredith?”
It was her turn to lift her brows at him. “What are you talking about? I mean the view of outside. It is quite a lovely day, is it not?”
His response was simply to poke her playfully in forehead before walking away. Meredith hid her grin, following behind him toward the round table laden with food.
“To think the very same lady who had been far too afraid of me to even look me in the eye is saying such things to me now.” Heath shook his head, picking up piece a toast.
“I was never afraid of you, Heath,” she said to him, pouring herself some tea. The practice was easy now, having breakfast with him while they bantered back and forth.
“Were you not? Then why did you always cower away from me?”
“Instinct, I suppose? A reflex? I do not know, but had I been afraid of you, I would not have spoken to you at all. How could I possibly be afraid of the very same boy who’d once teared up because he’d fallen hard enough that he could have chipped a tooth.”
Heath narrowed his eyes at her. “You remember far too much for your own good.”
“I cannot help it.” She giggled. “It is simply interesting to see how different you’ve become since then.”
“Different,” he confirmed with a nod. “Exactly. Which means that now you should know that I am the one to give the chipped teeth, not the one to cry out of fear that I might have one myself.”
She noticed how he watched her as he said those words. But they didn’t bother her, though it should have. Though the idea that he was open to being violent should have turned her away, it only made her want to draw nearer to him. Because Meredith knew deep down that he was not a cruel man. He was a man who acted on his emotions. The one who had cried as a child because he had been afraid was the same man who had jumped on a man who had injured and cornered her.
“I am still not afraid of you,” she said firmly, not bothering to look up at him.
“Then does what I did a few days ago truly not bother you?” he inquired slowly.
“Do you want it to?”
He took a moment and she looked up at him then. He was clearly trying to find the right answer. “It would make sense if you did,” he said finally. “I am confused as to why you are not.”
“Because you did it to protect me. You were angry because that man had dared to touch me.” To her horror, Meredith felt a blush creeping up her neck, but she continued on, not looking away from him. “Though it should have sent me running away screaming, it only made me want to be closer to you. I was grappling with that thought so much that I didn’t know what to do with myself.”
Her words held him captive. Heath paused in the process of taking another bite of his toast, blinking. Then he sighed. “God, you certainly know how to make a man speechless.”
Meredith wasn’t sure whether to smile at that or not. Annalise’s words came creeping to the front of her mind and she suddenly felt nervous. She steeled herself before she pushed on. “Heath, are you falling in love with me?”
Heath choked on his bite. He quickly made a grab for his tea, downing the hot liquid without pause. When he’d gotten himself together, he looked at her with wide eyes. “What did you ask me?”
She didn’t look away. “I think you heard quite clearly.”
But he still hadn’t recovered from his shock. He leaned back in his chair, studying her face. Meredith knew all he would see was her sincerity and a dash of hope. Then he huffed a laugh of disbelief. “I cannot believe that for a moment I thought you had changed. You are still the same girl who would ask bold questions like that without giving a single thought as to the consequences.”
“What consequences could their possible be for such a question? I am merely curious?”
He nodded, still looking at her in awe. “Yes, yes, quite the curious soul you are.” He leaned closer. “Then let me ask you the same question. Are you falling in love with me?”
Meredith’s heart threatened to beat right out of her chest but she would not back down. A strange rush of confidence came over her, something she hadn’t felt in a long time. It brought her back to a moment in her past, when all had been well. When her mother had been alive and she’d been the fearless girl who’d always done whatever she wanted and had others falling in line.
“Yes,” she stated with a decisive nod, pleased to see Heath’s brow rise in intrigue. “I am falling in love with you. I believe I will fall quite hard, in fact.”
Heath laughed again, sounding much more filled with delight. “Is there no limit to things you will say and do?”
“I find no reason why I should not simply be honest. Now, you answer my question.”
“Instead of doing that,” he said. “I think I will leave you with this.”
He got to his feet, rounding the table to her. Meredith held her breath as he leaned over her, bringing his lips close to her ear. For a few breaths, he said nothing, did nothing. And then, he whispered, “I did not sleep a wink last night.”
Heath straightened, filling her with sharp confusion. She looked up at him, but he was already walking away. “Wait,” she called without rising. “What does that mean?”
“You are a smart lady,” Heath told her, throwing a grin over his shoulder. “You should be able to figure it out on your own.”
She watched him go, utterly perplexed. She was tempted to go after him, but she resisted the urge. She was hungry enough as it was and she would only end up pestering him about his answer. She wanted to cling to the sliver of glory she felt at being brave enough to ask the question in the first place.
He did not sleep last night? Because of me? Was my past too much for h
im to handle?
Somehow, Meredith doubted that but no matter how much she thought about it, she couldn’t come up with a reason as to why he hadn’t slept. Had she snored too loudly?
The idea had her looking back at the door in horror. If that was the case then she didn’t know how she would be able to apologize with her embarrassment clogging her throat. She sipped her tea, trying to come up with other reason that would have kept him from sleeping, but she found nothing.
She didn’t hear when Francis slipped into the room. “My Lady,” he called.
Meredith looked over at him. “Yes?”
Francis bowed and then approached her, holding out an unsealed letter. Her name was scribbled on top. “You have received a letter.”
“I have?” Though the proof was before her, she couldn’t believe it. Who would have thought to send her a letter here? She took it from Francis’ hand, studying the handwriting. It was certainly not her father’s. Perhaps Jenny’s? “Thank you, Francis.”
Francis bowed politely, his soft footfalls sounding a second later. Meredith waited until he was completely out of the room before she opened the letter.
I will come for you one day. And when I do, I will make you scream.
Meredith’s hands began to shake as she read the words over and over again. Her throat suddenly went dry, her mind emptying to nothing. Slowly, swallowing past a lump in her throat, she refolded the letter and rested it on the table. Then, she reached for her teacup and gingerly sipped the scalding tea within, trying to bring her thoughts together.
She could taste the fear in the back of her throat. It was an uneasy feeling, something she did not want to subject herself to any longer. Meredith glanced at the letter and felt a chill run down her spine, but she willed her hands to cease their incessant shaking. She willed her suddenly terrified thoughts to calm down. She tried to pull herself up straighter, tried to keep herself from dissolving into that mind-numbing terror that would seal her lips closed and have her hiding away from the world all over again.
Who…who could have possibly sent this?
No one should know that she was here. She had not angered anyone, had she? Could it…could it be the man who Heath had attacked that night? Could he have decided to take his revenge on her?
Another round of fear rose in her, but this time, it was crippling—and for someone else entirely. Meredith glanced at the door, as if Heath would come walking in at any moment. Her heart clenched at the thought of him becoming a victim for her own stupidity. Had she not followed him that night, had she not hidden away in such a bad neighborhood, then it was likely she would not have received this threat today. And if Heath tried to stand in the way to protect her again, what if he got hurt?
I cannot allow that to happen no matter what.
The fear still remained, still trembled throughout her with the force of a tidal wave. But Meredith clung to it because, unlike before, it didn’t debilitate her, but it made her stronger. Fear for Heath’s life came above the fear for hers and though it was surprising to learn that, Meredith was grateful for it. For so long she’d worried about her own trauma, her own pain, that she welcomed the chance to worry about someone else.
Swallowing determinedly, Meredith picked the letter back up and folded it a few times until it was just a small square. Then, she clutched it in her hand and rose, heading out of the drawing room. A few maids went by upon her exit and Meredith nearly lowered her head, knowing that she was being secretive. But she resisted the urge and acknowledged them with a nod and a soft smile before she continued along her way.
It was a bold move for someone like her, but Meredith was beginning to fill with moves such as those. The woman who would have rather withered away in the comfort of her room was slowly slipping away. The girl she’d once been was stepping to the fore. Meredith didn’t want that girl to disappear again. Not with this new, terrifying, but incredible love brewing in her heart.
So, despite the threat still lingering on her mind, still trembling through her limbs, Meredith kept her head straight. She wouldn’t let Heath know anything about this. But as for her next move, Meredith was sadly at a loss.
Chapter 22
Heath spent about thirty minutes in his study before that desperate longing to see Meredith again came over him. At first, he pushed the feeling aside, buried it deep. After all, he’d just come from having breakfast with her. He did not have to be glued to her very side, now did he? That was nothing like him.
Then again, Heath had not felt the same since Meredith came to stay with him. Even despite the circumstances of which she’d come, something had shifted within him, something that leaned closer to the girl of his past rather than the man he was determined to be in the present. A piece of him he’d been willing to let die had slowly been rearing its head since the moment he met those familiar brown eyes.
Heath let the quill pen in his hand fall onto the desk as he let out a laugh. I should hate this. This isn’t like me. I shouldn’t be so attached her so quickly.
Yet, he didn’t hate it. He welcomed the feeling, welcomed that heat that was steadily spreading through his chest at the thought of her. He’d been standing in the cold for so long that Heath was desperate to let that warmth overtake him, to chase away the shadows that had lingered in the back of his mind ever since that fateful day.
She is no doubt still thinking about those words I left her with.
The thought made him chuckle, already rising to his feet. He could picture her, mulling over it as she stared out the window. Not for a second did Heath think that the feisty girl he’d once known would be so innocent when it came on to matters of the heart and body, but he was delighted by it. He liked her boldness, just as much as he liked the shadows of confusion that would come over her eyes when he said something she didn’t understand. It was more endearing than he’d ever thought possible.
No longer caring to hold himself back, Heath made his way to the door. He might as well tell her what he’d meant and see her reaction. See how she responded when he informed her that holding her in his arms while she slept had brought forth so many yearning thoughts that sleep had become impossible. That all he could focus on was how lovely she smelled, how soft her hair was, how delicate was the sound of her breathing and the fact that her body pressed against his had driven him mad. Let’s see how she reacts to that.
Heath didn’t make it to the door in time before there was a knock. He drew to a halt when he heard Francis begin to say something before it was overtaken by the sound of Phillip’s familiar boom. “Let me in, Heath!” his friend bellowed. “We need to talk.”
Heath sighed and instantly made his way over to the sideboard bar to poor his friend a drink. He might need one himself but he wasn’t in the mood, unlike many times before. “Come in.”
The door opened and Phillip came charging in. Heath looked over his shoulder to see his friend throw himself down into the closest armchair to him and rest his head on the back of the seat. “God, when I am as wealthy as you, I will make sure never to get a butler as stiff as yours is.”
Heath’s lips twitched. Plopping two cubes of ice into the glass of Scotch he’d poured, he brought it over to the sofa and sat, putting it on the table between him and Phillip. Phillip wasted no time making a grab for it. “The stiffer they are,” Heath said, watching him gulp down the burning liquid. “The better they perform their duties.”
Phillip wiped his mouth, frowning at him. “Is that some unspoken rule I’d never heard about?”
“You aren’t wealthy,” Heath said simply. “So how could you possibly know?”
Phillip glowered at Heath for a few seconds before he broke into a laugh. “So, is that where we are in our friendship? Where you believe you can gloat and get away with it?”
“I have been doing this for far too long for you to only realize this now, Phillip,” Heath said lightly.
“Keep it up and you’ll be eating your words quite soon,” Phillip growled.
Heath laughed. It had been some time since he’d last bantered so easily with his friend. But then again, it had been some time since he’d been in such a deliriously happy mood. Heath knew it had everything to do with the lady somewhere in this manor. “Tell me,” Heath said. “What brings you by so early in the morning?”
“There will be a new play at the Haymarket Theatre.” Phillip leaned closer, resting his elbows on his knees as he rubbed his hands together eagerly. A glint appeared in his eyes, the one that always spelled disaster for whoever it was aimed at. Right now, Heath knew exactly what he was going to say, he knew that it was directed at the victims he was already picturing in his head. “What do you say? It has been a while since we’ve taken a carriage, has it not been?”
“Quite some time, yes. If it is a carriage you desire, you may have the one I have been using.”
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