Meredith knew what he was referring to—the fact that she would once again be the subject of gossip. It should have scared her but… “All I can think is that I am happy to be free of that question I’d carried around with me for so long.”
“I understand,” he said softly. “So, do I.”
They stood in silence for a while, holding hands. Once again, Meredith thought of her lovely mother, the Countess of Pebblebrook, and felt an odd feeling come over her. A sort of calmness, as if that twinge of anxiety she always carried around had finally disappeared.
She couldn’t deny that she wanted to remain here. She didn’t want Heath to be alone, knowing that he was likely to suffer thinking about all that had happened. But she knew he was right and she could hear the determination in his voice. There would be no use fighting him on it.
Without a word, Meredith tugged lightly on his hand as she made her way to the door. They walked side by side, not needing to say a word to each other. She savored this sweet quiet moment, even though it might be best to fill it with conversation. She didn’t know when next she would be able to see him, even with his earlier stated conviction.
They kept that silence all the way to the carriage. Once they were inside, Meredith curled her body into him. Though exhaustion bore down on her, she didn’t dare to sleep, wanting to appreciate every second she had with him before they were back to reality.
Heath had sent someone ahead with word of their imminent, but he wasn’t sure the message had gotten through. It was the dead of night, after all, and though London nights were filled with balls and activities, he doubted the Earl of Pebblebrook would be indulging when his daughter was still missing.
He was relieved to see flickers of candlelight in a few of the windows as the carriage pulled into the driveway. Meredith pulled away from him, gazing out the window at the place she’d called home. She sighed softly.
“I am happy to return,” she murmured. “And yet I am so sad.”
“Focus on that happiness for now,” Heath told her. He cupped her chin, turning her lips to meet his, “because when I return, you will have another place you can call home.”
She smiled against his lips. Though it was dark, Heath could see the tenderness in her eyes as much as he could feel the reluctance in her limbs. The door opened behind her and Meredith’s shoulders lifted and fell in another silent sigh before she exited the carriage. Heath did the same.
Pebblebrook Manor was a nostalgic sight. The moment Heath laid eyes on it, he could remember the days he’d spent talking with Meredith on those front steps. How they had tried to find ways around to the garden without walking the main path. He remembered Lady Pebblebrook and his mother coming out to watch them chat with each other, much to their unawareness. Waves and waves of memories rushed him as he made his way up to the front door, many of which only made his pain deeper.
He hid it from his face, not wanting to worry Meredith any more than he already had. She looked quite nervous herself, but her steps were bold, her head held high. She didn’t falter for a moment, not even when the doors were flung open and they both spotted Lord Pebblebrook over the shoulder of the butler who opened it for them.
“Meredith!” The Earl gasped. Meredith made her way inside, Heath on her heels. The Earl drank in the sight of his daughter, his jaw agape. Even though Heath hadn’t seen him in a while, it looked as if he’d been aging rapidly. He wondered how much of that had to do with the stress of Meredith’s disappearance.
“Father,” she greeted in a gentle voice. “I have returned.”
The Earl crossed over the foyer and pulled his daughter into a bone-crushing hug. Heath took a step back, giving them the space they needed for their reunion.
Meredith hardly had the chance to return the embrace when he pulled away from her, looked her hard in the face, then hugged her again. It knocked a breathy laugh from her lungs.
“Father, I can hardly breathe.”
“I should flay you for what’ve done, young lady!” he said heatedly, but there was no anger behind his words. Nothing but relief. He pulled away from her again, wearing a deep frown. “How could you have left so suddenly? And to send a single letter after I’ve worried for so long? Do you want to drive me to an early grave?”
“Father,” Meredith laid a comforting hand on the Earl’s shoulder, “you may lecture me in private. As you can see, we have a guest.”
Heath stood a bit straighter when the Earl’s eyes flickered up to him. Back when he was younger, the Earl had always liked him, but none of that fondness was present in his eyes right now. Heath could only see quite the opposite, in fact.
The Earl stepped away from his daughter, approaching Heath. He was a pleasant-faced man, but his glower somehow had the strength to cut a man down to size. “Your Grace. I do not know whether I should be thanking you for returning her to me or not. I am afraid I am uncertain of how culpable you are in her disappearance.”
“Father—”
“I understand your concern, My Lord,” Heath said respectfully. “And I do not intend to lie to you. Though I was not the one who convinced her to leave the ball that night, I did prevent her from returning.”
“Father, do not listen to him,” Meredith jumped in. “I was perfectly willing—”
“My initial intention was to keep her from speaking of what she’d seen,” Heath continued, watching as the Earl’s eyes narrowed. “But, over time, it has grown selfish. I wished for her to stay with me, and would have resisted had she asked to do otherwise.”
“Heath, stop it!”
Heath didn’t take his eyes off the Earl once. He had to lay down the truth. Once the Earl found out about what happened with Phillip, he would be livid he had not been told about their living arrangement before. And it would only make him distrust Heath even more.
If he wanted to make the Earl trust him, and trust Meredith with him, he had to speak the truth.
“There is also something you should know, My Lord.” In the corner of his eye, Heath saw Meredith take a step forward. She wouldn’t say anything though, he knew. She was as aware as he that it was best to get it all out into the open from the very beginning. “While staying with me, Meredith has gotten hurt a few times. There is a scar healing on her neck and another very small slice under her chin. Both have been a result of my actions and the latter caused by a dagger wielded by a man I’d called my friend.”
“What is the meaning of this?” the Earl gasped. “You brought harm to my daughter?”
“He didn’t do anything, Fath—”
“My actions have affected her in ways I could not have anticipated, Heath said openly. Fury was simmering within the Earl and Heath was well aware that he was poking a bear that might explode on him at any second. “And for that, My Lord, I apologize.”
Heath bowed deeply as his words led them into silence. Seconds stretched on but the Earl said nothing. He only stared at Heath with a slight scowl, his face going red.
“Leave this place.”
“Father—”
“Silence, Meredith!” The Earl barked. Meredith bit her lip, but Heath could tell she didn’t plan on backing down.
Before she had the chance to say anything more, he stepped in, “As you wish, My Lord. I hope that when I return, I will be welcomed with open arms.”
To maintain his respect, he bowed again. Shock wrote itself across the Earls’ face—at the bold declaration that Heath would return—but Heath didn’t linger on it. He looked at Meredith, giving her a slight, comforting smile. She didn’t return it, her own eyes worried.
Then, Heath turned to leave. He was happy the Earl didn’t say anything else, didn’t keep him there. He didn’t know how much more honest he could be considering there was so much he could have said. It left him feeling uneasy, but as he headed back to his carriage, Heath told himself that it was for the best. If he truly wanted a future with Meredith, he would have to begin things on the right foot. Even if that meant letting the world know
of the secret he’d carried for so long.
Chapter 31
Waking up in her own bed felt different that morning, just as it had the past two days that had gone by. It was as soft as she remembered it, positioned just out of the reach of the sun so she could sleep to her heart’s content. Yet, she tossed and turned at night, missing the arms she’d grown used to falling asleep in. It only set the tone for the day, which would find her groggy and longing for Heath’s presence.
This evening, however, she was in a much better mood than she’d been in for the past few days. She even hummed lightly to herself, listening to Jenny as she rummaged around in her armoire for a suitable dress.
“You seem to be in quite the good mood,” Jenny commented as she emerged from the armoire, bearing a lavender evening gown in her hand. It was quite fashionable, cut with muslin and lace, floral decorations lining the hem. Meredith smiled privately to herself, knowing she would be a vision wearing that.
“I am,” she said honestly.
“Oh?” Jenny paused for a moment, surprise flickering in her eyes. Since her return to Pebblebrook Manor, Jenny had been watching her closely, constantly taken aback by the little comments Meredith would make. Of course, Meredith didn’t blame her. When she’d left here, she’d been in tears at the very thought of being around people. She didn’t even have to speak to make it known that she’d changed since then.
Meredith turned at the vanity table, giving Jenny a look of interest. “Will you not ask why?”
Jenny slowly lowered the dress onto the bed, still quite surprised. “I am almost afraid to.”
That made Meredith laugh. She turned to face the mirror again, fussing idly with her hair. “It is nothing that interesting, I assure you. I am only eager to see someone.”
“You are?” Jenny approached her from behind. She ran her long fingers through Meredith’s hair, beginning to style her hair. “Have you made a friend in the time you’ve been gone, My Lady?”
Thinking about Annalise, Meredith said, “More than one, in fact.”
“I am jealous!” Jenny gasped. “I must say, you do seem quite different. Much more confident than you used to be. Please, tell me what has happened to have made you change so.”
“It is simple, Jenny.” Meredith hid a smile. “I have fallen in love.”
Jenny went still, her eyes going round. “Pardon me?”
Meredith didn’t think she’d ever tire of saying those words. Confessing her love for Heath to others was just as gratifying as it was confessing it to him. “I have told you about the gentleman who took me in while I was away from home, yes?”
“You skimmed over the detail yes, much to my disappointment.”
It had only been because Meredith hadn’t felt like delving into that conversation yet. She knew it would only lead to things she didn’t want to talk about. But right now, she was in far too good a mood to care. “Well, I have fallen for him. Quite hard, in fact.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful, My Lady. But…” She hesitated, catching Meredith’s questioning look. “Are you certain it is love? From what you have told me, he saved you from a precarious position. Perhaps you are simply grateful towards him and you are mistaking it for love?”
“My mind is not so juvenile that I cannot understand the difference between gratitude and love, Jenny,” Meredith said simply. “And to answer your question, I am happy because I will be seeing him at tonight’s ball.”
Lady Coltbury’s ball, to be exact. Heaths’ instructions had been simple, sent through a letter she had received just yesterday. Lady Coltbury’s ball. Please attend.
It hadn’t taken much to convince her father to have her go. His reluctance had faltered in light of the chance to make her social again. He was eager to keep her from sequestering herself away in her room.
“Does Lord Pebblebrook know of your meeting with this gentleman?” Jenny asked as she twisted Meredith’s hair into an updo.
“He doesn’t,” Meredith said simply. “Not yet, at least. Though, I am sure he will find out soon enough.”
“You almost sound…crafty, My Lady.” Jenny sounded awed.
“Do I?” Meredith smiled. She couldn’t help herself. It was a struggle just to tamper her giddiness thinking about seeing Heath again.
She knew Jenny was still watching her and she was still unused to the lady sitting before her. It would take her some time to understand the change, Meredith knew. Her debilitating nerves been a part of Meredith’s life for so long that it was all Jenny knew. She’d never been there to see the girl she’d once been, but she would be here now to see the woman she’d grown into.
And so would her father. Tonight, she would show him that he no longer had to worry about her. She was capable to handling herself now and, with Heath by her side, she knew she wouldn’t have to worry about a thing.
Music wafted from the ballroom and hung in the air. Meredith could hear it from the distance as their carriage joined the line heading into the Lady Coltbury’s driveway. Within minutes, they would arrive.
“Are you certain about this, Meredith?”
Meredith shifted her gaze to her father, who sat across from her. She played idly with the fabric of her gown as she nodded slowly. He caught the movement of her fingers and frowned. She had no doubt he thought it was an anxious habit, rather than frivolous movement.
“Yes, Father,” she said, giving him a smile that would hopefully ease his worries. “How many times do you plan on asking me that question?”
“As many times as it will take to see if you are truly fine with attending this ball.” The carriage jerked ahead in the line as the Earl leaned closer to her. “I do not want you to run away again. You do not have to force yourself to do this.”
“While I understand your concern, Father, I am quite fine. I am looking forward to it, in truth.”
“And what will you do if you hear them whispering about you?” The Earl leaned back swiftly, his face darkening with horror. “We should turn back. Perhaps this was not the best idea.”
Meredith lifted her brow at him. “What happened to the man who had been so determined to have me show my face among the ton just a few weeks ago?”
“He disappeared the moment you decided to,” he said without hesitation.
Meredith could do nothing but sigh. “Father, I promise you, if I was at all nervous about attending, I would not be able to hide it.”
At that, the Earl began to study her. Meredith met his eyes with expectation, waiting for him to see what he had been blind to since she’d returned. “You certainly do not seem to be lying…” he said.
“It is because I am not.” She reached out and took his hand. “I know I have given you more than enough cause to worry, but I assure you, I have changed. I am no longer the girl who cries at the very thought of someone looking her way. You do not need to worry about me. You can trust me.”
Realization began to brighten her father’s eyes, but before he could say anything, the carriage came to a halt. The doors were opened and Lady Coltbury’s footmen held a hand out to help Meredith down. She gave her father one more reassuring look before she exited the carriage, letting the cold breeze waft over her as she headed inside.
She could hardly contain her excitement. There were a few people milling around the entrance of the ballroom, waiting to be announced. They noticed Meredith’s presence and the whispers began. A prickle of unease ticked her skin, but Meredith didn’t focus on it. She could only think that Heath was somewhere in this large ballroom and she couldn’t wait to find him.
The whispers continued to grow. At her side, her father kept shooting her glances, as if gauging whether she would lose control again. But Meredith was too busy scanning the guests as she descended the staircase to the main area, hoping to catch a glimpse of Heath.
She made her way to the refreshments table. It reminded her of that night, of the young lady she’d tried to approach before she’d let her anxiety take over. Now, she felt nothing of t
he sort, even when she noticed that a group of older ladies where staring at her.
“Pardon me, My Lady.”
Pleasure hit like a punch to the chest. Meredith whirled on her feet, already smiling from ear to ear before she spotted Heath standing slightly behind her.
And God…he looked so handsome. One right after the other, waves of need hit her again and again as she drank in how he was dressed, in his black waistcoat, his white shirt, the trousers that clung so nicely to his long legs. His untrimmed beard and shiny black hair was enough to make him stand out amongst all the other gentlemen—and enough to send pools of yearning to the pit of her stomach.
“Yes?” she breathed. He’d stolen her breath away. She didn’t know how and yet it was fitting.
“Would you like the pleasure of this dance?” With a flourish and an impish grin, Heath held out his hand. Meredith felt her answering smile as she laid her hand against his palm.
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