by Mandy Baggot
‘That makes sense,’ Gavin said with a nod.
‘But, you know, it’s hard. Every time I start a conversation with Meg about my mum, she either tells me some cosy tale about the time they visited a lighthouse or she shuts me down with creepy doll analogies.’
‘Maybe you should take her to karaoke and I’ll go on a date with the doctor,’ Gavin suggested, waggling his forehead at her.
‘No… I’m… not quite ready yet,’ she answered. The thought of confronting her aunt was uncomfortable and she needed just a little more time to settle herself with it. ‘And I really want to have another date with Michalis where we don’t talk about our dead mothers and just… I don’t know… be in the moment… and do spontaneous things.’
‘You say “spontaneous things”. I’m hearing “sex on the beach”,’ Gavin chortled.
‘Gavin,’ Lucie said seriously. ‘Don’t say anything to Meg tonight, will you? I mean, I just wanted you to hear me out and for you to hopefully tell me I’m not crazy and—’
‘Process,’ Gavin interrupted. ‘We all need to process.’ He sighed. ‘I’m still processing Simon not being gay, if I’m really honest.’
Lucie slipped an arm around her friend’s shoulders again. ‘Me too,’ she agreed. ‘How did we call it so wrong?’
‘How did I get so hung up on someone for so long when there was zero chance? If I’d got my game together and asked him out like you kept telling me to do, I would have known before now. God knows how many opportunities I let pass me by.’
‘But now you know,’ Lucie reminded him, pulling him into her. ‘And you can move on.’
Gavin checked his watch. ‘What time is Michalis coming with our transport?’
‘About fifteen minutes,’ Lucie said.
‘Time for a glass of flagon wine?’ Gavin asked, leaping up from the cushions.
‘Absolutely.’
Forty-Six
Lafki
This little village was straight out of a book about authentic Greece. From its beautiful stone square, complete with archaic swings and roundabout set around a large olive tree, to the simple taverna they were sitting outside of, complete with stunning sea view. Colourful petals spilled from urns around the outside eating area and a collection of tabby cats alternated in humour between disinterested to ravenous depending on the dishes that were being brought out to diners.
Lucie turned her head towards the view and let the peace it instantly brought move from her mind, down into her shoulders. The nagging ache that almost permanently lay there was easing with every second of gazing over such a staggering landscape. ‘It’s beautiful here.’
She hadn’t realised she was going to say anything until the sentence tumbled out of her mouth and she looked back to Michalis like she had been caught with her thoughts on pudding before she had even eaten the entrée.
He smiled at her. ‘It is beautiful.’
Just like you, Lucie thought. God, it seemed her talk about spontaneity with Gavin included possibly X-rated thoughts. But this was what she was missing, she was sure of it. She hadn’t let loose in her youth at all. She had been too worried about the consequences if she made bad decisions and equally worried about Meg’s reaction to those consequences. Here was her chance to try and redress the balance.
‘How’s your side?’ Lucie asked him, reaching for her glass of wine.
‘You are doubting the strength of your closing abilities?’ Michalis asked with a wry grin.
‘Not in the slightest,’ she answered. ‘But… it was… quite bad. I think we need to acknowledge that.’
She watched him sigh but then he nodded. ‘It was quite bad for a moment. But only for a moment. And tonight we are having much nicer moments here, no?’
‘We are,’ Lucie agreed. ‘And I don’t want tonight to be about anything other than… relaxation… having fun… We’re both on holiday from our jobs and our lives not in Corfu and we should be… spontaneous.’
That bloody ‘s’ word! And now all she could think about was Gavin’s comment about sex on the beach. She followed it up with a hopeful smile, praying that Michalis wouldn’t now think she was a complete idiot.
‘Tell me something about you, Lucie,’ Michalis said to her, leaning forward in his chair.
‘Like what?’
‘I do not know. That is why I am asking.’
‘Well…’ This was the moment she should think of something super-exciting that would make her sound like the kind of person worthy of dating a gorgeous Greek doctor. She swallowed and immediately she was thinking she wasn’t worthy. That lack of self-confidence was also knotted up in the root of her problems. She was worthy. She needed to believe that. She took a deep breath.
‘OK so… my middle name is Britney. Say nothing. And, up until a few weeks ago, I used to have really long hair.’
‘No,’ Michalis said, shaking his head. ‘You are playing with me. I do not believe this.’
‘Which one? I can get you my passport if you need proof about Britney. And as for the hair… I can show you right now.’
She reached into her bag and pulled out her phone. There was a text waiting on her lock screen from Gavin asking:
Banged him in the sand yet?
She quickly flicked it away before finding an appropriate picture where she thought she looked attractive and handing her phone to Michalis.
‘Wow,’ he said, eyes on the screen.
‘I know,’ Lucie breathed. ‘I look different, don’t I?’
Michalis shook his head. ‘Your hair is different. You are not.’ He was still looking at the phone screen. ‘Your eyes are very much the same… and your smile.’
Little sparks began to fire in the pit of her belly. He was describing her with so much thought and feeling. She wasn’t used to it and it felt so nice.
‘Why did you decide to have it shorter?’ Michalis asked, passing the phone back.
And that’s why she should have thought of something better to say. How could she admit she hadn’t decided anything? That she – or Gavin, or maybe Sharon Osbourne – had cut it all off when they were drunk.
‘Oh, you know,’ Lucie stated. ‘Practical reasons.’ So much for being a whole lot less ‘crisis management’ and much more ‘living on the edge’.
Michalis nodded. ‘My hair was shorter in Thessaloniki. All the tying back and the heat of it from the coverings. It made sense to keep it manageable.’
And, for him, it had been a conscious change to grow it again. It represented the him he had been when his mother had been alive, as well as the person he wanted to be while he was back in Corfu. He didn’t want to look how he had looked the day he left the hospital and came here. The greater distance he could put between the him he was trying to restore and the desperate person who had arrived back on his father’s doorstep, the better. He knew the outward appearance wouldn’t really alter the feelings he was still harbouring inside him but he had to start somewhere.
‘Well, I think I need to see a photo of you with short hair,’ Lucie told him. ‘It’s only fair.’
‘Oh no,’ he said, sitting back in his seat.
‘Why not?’
‘You must trust that this look is better for me.’ He edged his hair back with his hands, tucking it behind his ears and feeling a little self-conscious now.
‘I think I should be the one to judge.’
‘You are not going to stop asking, are you?’
‘Literally only the arrival of the greens and bifteki we ordered will shut me up.’
He took his phone from his pocket and pressed onto the photos icon. There had not been much time for photo-taking in the past year when things had been so difficult. But here was one, taken by a colleague – Roberto – during a rare night out prior to lockdown conditions. He had a bottle of beer in his hand and he was smiling, almost relaxed.
He passed the phone over to Lucie. ‘You can say all the bad things. I am over it.’
He watched her look at the pictu
re and he wondered if this simplicity could last. Here in Corfu, with the good wholesome food and sweet wine and his people, there was a peace he felt flowing through him he could never seem to recapture on the mainland. Was his destiny being a village doctor in Sortilas? Or would he have to look further than Greece to start again? Suddenly there was a loud crash from inside the taverna and he jumped a little in his seat. There might be peace in the surroundings here but there was still that tinge of anxiety nestled in his subconscious. Lucie hadn’t seemed to notice. He took a second, catching his breath and calming his breathing.
‘Michalis,’ she said on an intake of breath. ‘Your… eyes.’
‘I was a little thinner then. Too much working. Not enough time to eat or to visit the gym.’
‘You look so… tired and… maybe… a little defeated.’
She had seen behind the smile so completely. She had been perceptive from the moment they had met. He tried to shrug it off. ‘All this from one photo of me with my hair cut short?’ He sipped at his wine.
‘Aw, you worked with babies too!’ Lucie remarked. ‘Sorry, I flicked to the next photo out of habit. I hope that’s OK.’
What did he say? That it wasn’t OK? He felt the unease spirit through him and tried to mentally push it away. That’s what you had to do when you were moving on. Show inner strength, not let that façade crack or crumble.
‘Yes,’ he answered softly. ‘Mainly the premature babies whose lungs needed help.’
‘Is this… a girlfriend?’ Lucie asked.
He reached for the phone back then and his eyes settled on Thekli. She looked happy there. They both did. He didn’t know he had even kept that photo. But he was nodding before he realised it. ‘Sorry… to talk of someone else is…’
‘Don’t be silly,’ Lucie told him. ‘Unless… you’re still together. I mean, not that we have clarified the nature of our friendship by any means, but I would feel terrible if I had kissed someone who was in a relationship with someone else and I would then have to leave before the food arrived.’ She took a breath. ‘So please say you aren’t together anymore. Because as well as all that, I’m not sure I can drive a moped.’
‘We are not together any longer,’ Michalis answered and he watched for Lucie’s reaction. She had talked of their kissing but had said the word ‘friendship’. Did she doubt his romantic feelings towards her? Or perhaps she was second-guessing what she felt. Either way his heart took another dive.
‘What happened between you?’ Lucie asked. ‘If it’s OK to ask.’
Immediately that burning sensation in the back of his throat was there, the stress reaction that was always testing his resolve. He shook his head and put down his wine glass. ‘She… wanted a commitment that I could not give her.’ He took a breath. ‘The virus hit, it was fast, it was mayhem and… I started sleeping at the hospital. I had to commit to my job and she did not understand that.’ He gave a nod that he hoped would signal the end to the explanation. He hadn’t lied, but he hadn’t opened up completely. It was still too sore. He took back control. ‘Do you have a boyfriend?’
‘Do I have one?’ Lucie gasped. ‘Gosh, no. I wouldn’t be… doing this with you if I did. I know these days people are freer with their relationship statuses but… I couldn’t do that.’
‘For the record,’ Michalis said with a smile. ‘I could not do that also.’
‘Good,’ Lucie breathed. ‘That’s good to hear.’
He reached across the table, fingers dodging the olive oil and vinegar between them until he was holding her hand. ‘But, there was someone special in your life at some time?’
He felt her fingers knit together with his, but her body language told him she was feeling a little ill at ease about his question. He waited, gently caressing her fingers.
‘This is going to sound really bad but I don’t think I’ve ever had someone special in my life in quite that way.’ She paused for a beat. ‘You know, romantically.’
‘No?’ he queried.
She let out a breath and he felt a little of her tension dissipate in the handhold.
‘I’ve had a few boyfriends but… I don’t know… none of the relationships ever felt like… “it”.’
‘It?’ Michalis asked.
‘I know, I’m not making any sense. I should probably stop talking completely now.’
‘No,’ Michalis urged. ‘Do not stop talking. I like to listen to you talk.’
‘See!’ Lucie said, squeezing his hand. ‘None of them would ever have said something like that to me. Ever.’
Michalis frowned. ‘I do not understand.’
Lucie tightened her hold on his hand then. ‘I know that life isn’t like the movies but… I want to meet someone who gets inside my head as well as my heart. Someone who wants to know how I think and why I think it. Someone who supports me and encourages me even if they have an opposing opinion.’
‘These men did not want to know your thoughts?’ Michalis asked, baffled.
Lucie smiled a little. ‘One of them said he loved me, but he was just saying the words because he thought he ought to say them. Because he thought that’s what I wanted to hear.’
‘And what you really wanted to hear was someone telling you… I know you.’
Lucie swallowed as Michalis’s eyes met hers. As clichéd as it might sound, holding the hand of her holiday romance, everything so new and uncharted territory for her, he had nailed perfectly what she dreamed of from a partner. She didn’t want to hear words people often said because they fitted an expected love remit. She wanted to feel the depth of their emotion, know it in her heart and her mind, hold it tight and then share it right back.
‘I feel,’ Michalis began softly, ‘that there is much to know about you, Lucie.’
‘I should definitely stop talking now,’ Lucie answered, her cheeks a little flushed. ‘Spontaneity and fun is what we are supposed to be going for.’
He squeezed her hand, then slowly brought it to his lips, dropping a sensual kiss on her skin that made her shiver.
‘I think it will be fun to find out your thoughts,’ Michalis told her.
Lucie smiled, her mind spinning in a frenzy of sun, sea, sand and removing Michalis’s clothes. ‘Be careful what you wish for.’
Forty-Seven
Oscar’s Bar, Roda
‘Do you sing?’ Michalis asked.
‘God, no… well, only when Gavin needs someone to play the other parts of ABBA.’
After their delicious meal in Lafki, Lucie and Michalis had ridden to meet up with Gavin and Meg at Oscar’s Bar in the resort of Roda. Currently Meg was on stage singing a rendition of Kate Bush’s ‘Wuthering Heights’ – with all the loose hair and hand movements – and Gavin was getting rather cosy at the bar with a guy wearing a neon green T-shirt. She and Michalis were sitting at a table on the edge of the bar – more outside than in – just able to hear each other speak over the music.
‘Do you sing?’ Lucie asked him, leaning in a little and loving the way she felt so comfortable doing that.
‘You want to sing with me?’ Michalis replied.
‘No!’ Lucie exclaimed.
He got to his feet. ‘They must have a book of songs. We will find something.’
‘No!’ Lucie said, grabbing his arm and pulling him back down into his chair. She watched him laugh and shake his head.
‘I see your thoughts now,’ Michalis said, still laughing. ‘And they are scared of being spontaneous.’
‘Oh really?’ Lucie said, feeling a challenge was being laid down.
‘Really,’ he countered, eyebrows raising.
‘OK then. Let’s sing.’
‘What?’ Michalis asked, hand on his chest and looking concerned. ‘You are not serious?’
‘Michalis, suddenly you look terrified.’
‘No,’ he insisted, rearranging his expression quickly. ‘Terrifying is… seeing your image on posters all around the area and to know that villagers of Sortilas are building something
out of bamboo and vines to carry you into the village square.’
‘That is terrifying,’ Lucie agreed. ‘But not quite as scary as two elderly ladies making you a wedding dress when there is no wedding to wear it to.’
‘But there maybe one day, no?’
Lucie swallowed, feeling her heart beat a little faster. How would it feel to be so connected to someone you wanted to spend every single day with them? ‘I don’t know.’
‘You do not believe in marriage?’
‘I… don’t know what I feel about it. I guess you learn about things like that from seeing how other people fare with it.’ She smiled. ‘My nan and grandad were married forever, but I can’t say that a relationship based around a lot of “pottering” and disputes over who ate the last dark chocolate digestive really fills me with excitement.’ She picked up her cocktail and took a sip. ‘Meg’s marriage ended in divorce and my colleague, Sharon, has been through several marriages without much success, well, unless you count the fact she’s never short of cash for the newest iPhone as success.’
Michalis nodded. He had always assumed he would get married one day. But, here he was, older, attached only to his career, not knowing what happened next. Would things have been any different if he had committed to his relationship with Thekli? Would she have coped with his living at the hospital for a year? Or would having someone waiting at home for him have changed his priorities? He knew, deep in his heart, the answer to that was no. He also knew that not committing to Thekli would not have changed the outcome of the tragedy that made him leave Thessaloniki.
‘Do you believe in marriage?’ Lucie asked. ‘You know, theoretically. As a concept.’
She was blushing furiously now, dropping her gaze to her glass. He adored her complete lack of awareness about what a beautiful person she was and he took a moment to let that sink in as he watched her. Yes, physically she was attractive to him, but what he loved the most was the sheer gentleness about her. She carried this tone, this feeling, a calmness that somehow formed a bubble around you and… lifted you up. To be able to give off that ease and serenity so naturally, without even knowing, that was a true gift.
