Her throat clogged at the memory of one joyous moment in the misery of their imprisonment. It was impossible to speak of the things that happened in that dungeon.
Jacques took her hand, kissed her fingers, and held it to his heart. “They tortured you and your mother to keep your father working?”
The words stuck in her throat, but she managed a nod. The steady beating of his heart synchronized with hers. Two hearts chimed as one. As foolish as it was, she reveled in the rhythm.
“Did your father succeed in improving their rockets?” His voice was level, with no accusation.
She shrugged. “He gave them bits. Just enough to keep us alive, nothing that would really make a difference.”
“But he could have,” Jacques said.
“Yes, well, when Victor realized Father was stringing them along, he became angry and thought to force his hand. My father was a sweet, kind, thoughtful man of science. My last sight of him was as an animal who attacked a guard with a shard of the glass beaker he’d smashed. Both he and my mother were killed during the fight.” More tears poured down her face and she couldn’t make them stop.
Jacques tightened his hold and kissed her temple.
Sobs racked her body, and she was helpless to stop them. Years of pain poured out of her while Jacques cradled her in his arms.
“C’est bon, ma chérie. None of this was your fault.” He was a warm balm on a wound too deep to heal, pressing kisses along her cheek, neck and shoulder. “You are safe now.”
Swallowing down her tears, she hiccupped several times before she could catch her breath. “I am not safe.” She pushed his arms away. They only offered false hope. Moving to the edge of the divan, she faced him. “They will find me, or the English who think I’m a traitor will capture me. Regardless, I will never be safe.”
“After your parents were murdered, they made you help them?” His eyes shone in the firelight, fierce and beautiful.
“They tried. I escaped.” The chill returned, and she shivered despite the warm room. “It took months to make my way to England’s shores. I tried to go home, but found English troops surrounding the house and grounds. I have been running a long time, Jacques. I’m tired, and I don’t want anyone else to die for my sake.”
“How did you escape, and how did you get yourself back to England?” His voice was tight, and the earlier, soothing tone had disappeared.
“I have told you more than enough, Jacques. None of this is your business. I can take care of myself.” She hated herself more and more. She was a fool to let him in for even one second. If she told him what he asked, it would be the end. She should do it, but imagining the disgust in his eyes when he knew, she couldn’t. Wiping her eyes, she reached for a napkin and took a moment to clean herself up. It was good to let some of it out, but nothing had changed, and she would need her strength to stay alive.
Watching her a long moment, his frown eased into a sigh. He stood. “Stay at Everton’s. Work for Francis. You are safe there for the moment. I saw that you have a very large footman who follows you. I assume you have told Lady Jane of your troubles?”
But she knew he was wrong. Safety was an illusion. No one was truly safe. “It seemed only fair that she knew harboring me could bring danger on the Society.”
Expression devoid of all emotion, he leaned over the fireplace with his arm on the mantel and stared into the flames. “I am not sure what can be done. You and your family are infamous. It was in the paper for weeks after you disappeared. The French must have someone at the newspaper who writes their propaganda.”
“Why would you want to help me? I’m nothing to you. A woman of no means from a country family. My father was a gentleman, but of little worth. And as you say, I am infamous, with a reputation beyond repair.”
Eyes filled with passion, he returned to her, wrapped a curl of her hair around his fingers, and rubbed it between his thumb and forefinger. “Why did you trust me on the road to London? Why did you trust me, a Frenchman, to hold you while you slept? Of all the people to trust—I am French. I represent those people who hurt you and destroyed your family. There is something between us, Diana. I cannot explain it, but I have never felt it before.”
“Just because the men who hurt me were French does not mean that all Frenchmen are evil. You have a kindness in you that shines through. I knew you would never harm me.” Her soul open and bare to him, she wished she could take the words back as soon as she’d said them.
His smile was the North Star bringing her home. “You are an extraordinary person.”
“I’m a fool who is not good enough for a man like you.”
In a flash, he lifted her from the divan and wrapped her in his arms. He pressed one hand to her back, and the other cupped her cheek. Tipping her head back, he stared into her eyes. “Do not speak so meanly about yourself. I cannot allow it. Those bastards hurt you, and they will pay. I swear it. Nothing you endured or that you did to survive will matter to me, Diana. Wounds heal.”
Just because she wanted his words to be true didn’t make it so. Lord, how she wanted to believe him. “Some wounds fester until they kill you. You are a kind person, but you are too idealistic. Nothing can make me the person I was before.”
He kissed her forehead and eased away. “I did not know that woman. You are probably right. She no longer exists on her own. Still, she is inside you, intertwined with three years of experiences that shaped the woman you are today. It is who you are that I am drawn to, not someone you used to be. When you embrace this Diana, you will be whole again.”
“I don’t believe that is possible.” Mother and Father had died to protect her, and it was that sacrifice that forced her to survive. She couldn’t let them have died in vain. A noose tightened around her heart. Staying alive was the most she could hope for.
“I shall make it my goal to prove you wrong.”
“Perhaps it is you who are the fool.”
A twitch of a smile lit his eyes before they hardened and narrowed. “How much does Victor Caron have to do with this?”
Even his name sent chills through her. “He was in charge of capturing my family and forcing my father to help them. He is the devil in the guise of a man. He became obsessed with getting what the emperor wanted, and fixated on me during our imprisonment.”
Jacques’s hands flexed and fisted several times. “Did Caron touch you?”
“If you are planning to do something stupid on my behalf, don’t.” When she’d spotted Victor at the ball, her entire body had tightened like a band about to snap. Running was her only hope. That ridiculous temple had been a haven. It never occurred to her that anyone would bother to look for her. She’d been lucky; Victor hadn’t seen her, only his lackey, Reneau, and she was sure it was a fleeting glance. He couldn’t be sure it had been her, or they would have been far more forceful with Jacques and demanded to see who he had in the corner of the temple. Still, the notion of her being in London was planted in his head. Leaving town would be the smartest thing to do.
“I never do anything stupid.” His knuckles were white with strain.
She covered his hand with hers. “I am not yours to avenge or care for.”
Pain flashed across his face and was gone in an instant. “Perhaps not, but I do not like Victor Caron, and I never have. He was someone else’s lackey when I had my troubles in France, but he was already a viper. My country is in peril, and it breaks my heart.”
All the warning bells went off, but Diana let them ring. She released his hand, but he gripped her fingers before she could pull away.
Leaning down, he pressed his lips to her hand. “I am an uncomplicated man, Diana, goddess of the hunt and moon. I work hard and have a few good friends. Once I make a friend, I am fiercely protective.”
Intimate in their temporary world, emotions clogged her throat. “And I am your friend?”
“Y
ou are and shall be for our lifetimes. Even should you reject me out of hand, I shall always be available to help you in any way I can.”
Her life might end tomorrow, yet with such a pledge to hold on to, how could it matter? No one had ever touched her heart so completely. “I will stay at Everton’s for now, but it would be better for everyone if I left London. Percival Reneau is not the smartest, but he did glimpse me tonight, and now they are looking. Eventually they will find me.”
He cocked his head and stared into the corner of the room before offering his hand. “I will take you to Everton House now. It would not do for Lady Chervil to send out a search party.”
* * * *
They reached Everton House and found the usually staid atmosphere transformed into complete chaos. Bertram, the footman who guarded her most days, was gathering men in the foyer while Lady Jane questioned Lady Chervil.
Every head turned to stare at them in the open doorway.
Jacques said, “Would you prefer if I left you here or shall we face the music together?”
Even after the dangers and admissions of the night, his eyes filled with warmth and caring. She had to swallow down the wave of emotions trying to take over for her good sense. The last thing she wanted was a scandal. Perhaps she should have found another way home. “It might be best if you left me to deal with this.”
“Are you certain?” He reached out, but did not touch her in full view of Everton’s residents.
“Yes, thank you.” If he stayed it would only make the gossip worse. Better to deal with this on her own.
With a bow and a wink, he smiled and said goodnight.
Lady Jane recovered first. She charged to the door. “You are safe. When Lady Chervil arrived without you, we imagined the worst.”
Lumbering forward, Bertram took Diana’s elbow and eased her inside before closing the door. “I should have insisted on accompanying you tonight.”
With so many people watching, Diana could say very little. Several Everton ladies stood on the staircase in their nightclothes and robes, and at least five footmen had gathered. Diana forced a smile. “I’m sorry to have worried everyone. I assure you, I am unharmed.”
Taking stock of the crowd, Jane breathed deeply and closed her eyes for a moment.
Lord Rupert Everton combed his fingers through his beard and cleared his throat. His bright eyes were narrowed on Diana for the barest instant before he addressed the room. “Thank you all for coming together so quickly. We are all happy to have Diana back at home. You may find your beds and rest easy tonight.”
The residents of Everton House dispersed. Several called out to Diana that they were glad she was safe. Soon only Lord and Lady Everton, Bertram, and Lady Chervil remained.
Jane said, “Why don’t we go to my office where we won’t be overheard?”
Once inside the office, Diana was unsure what to say. She sat on the chair near the hearth with Honoria to her left. The Evertons sat on the divan across from her. Bertram stood behind her right shoulder with his arms crossed.
Honoria leaned forward and patted Diana’s hand. “What happened, my dearest?”
It would be best to keep the details to herself. She already risked too many people by making friends. Loneliness pressed in on all sides. She couldn’t bear it. “My past showed up at the ball. It was important not to be seen.”
Not being much of an explanation, it was unlikely to be accepted and left alone. Lord Rupert Everton was a burly man who said little, but commanded attention when he chose to speak. Yet he turned his kind eyes on her and gave a faint smile. “I’m afraid you’ll have to do better than that, Miss St. Cloud. We were seconds from sending out a search party, and you gave Lady Chervil quite a fright.”
“I’m very sorry to be such a burden, my lord. It might be better if I took my leave of Everton House to protect everyone’s safety.”
“Unacceptable.” Bertram grumbled the word but said no more.
“Bertram is quite right.” Honoria folded her arms. “Where did you go and how did you get home? I realize you are in some kind of trouble, Diana, but you will have to tell us a bit more—and you most certainly are not going out on your own to be in who knows what kind of danger.”
Jane nodded. “We cannot force you to stay, but I really think it’s safer for you with us than traipsing about London on your own.”
Safer for her perhaps, but Diana worried about the danger she put the house in. “I don’t want my troubles to become yours, my lady.”
“You are part of our family now, Diana. We shall not abandon you when you need us most, and I will be very disappointed if you leave us without good reason and a safe harbor.” Jane’s firm stand and direct gaze soothed Diana’s wounds.
These wonderful people had adopted her into their family when she needed every bit of what they had to offer. They were kind and caring in a world full of viciousness. “Two men I know to be French agents were present at the ball. One saw me, but the crowd was dense and he was unsure. I ran to the garden, where Jacques Laurent found me. Mr. Laurent kept me hidden and assisted in my escape. As you saw, he brought me back to Everton House.”
Honoria palmed her cheek. “I’m so thankful he found you. I should never have bullied you into attending that ball. It was a foolish mistake. Please forgive me, Diana.”
Tears pressed at the back of Diana’s eyes. It was too touching, too much. She took Honoria’s hand. “This was not your fault. I should have known better. I do know better. I can want a normal life, but for now, it is not possible to have one. My troubles are too real and too present for me to be foolish. I put you in danger with my desire to be a normal young woman tonight. It is I who should ask forgiveness.”
“Oh, no. You are in real trouble, and I am an old fool.”
Rupert chuckled. “We are all sorry, and since Miss St. Cloud is safe at home, we can all rest easy. Bertram will post extra guards around the house and we will dispense with any frolicking for the present.” He stood and straightened his coat. “It will not be forever, this war. Eventually, you will be able to enjoy a good party without worrying, my dear.”
“Thank you, my lord. I hope you are right.” Though Diana doubted he was. As she climbed the stairs to her bedroom, she still wondered if these fine people wouldn’t be better off if she took her leave and found another means of staying alive.
Chapter 7
Jacques had been up all night deciding how to best help Diana. By first light it was clear he would need help, and specifically the same help that had saved his life. Considering the situation too dangerous to send a note that might be intercepted, he went directly to Michael Rollins’s home as soon as the hour permitted.
He waited in the office. Burgundy curtains had been pulled back, allowing overcast light to shine in. A fire burned in the hearth, keeping the chill out. It was everything a duke’s home should be. Yet, beneath all its grandness, practicality spoke of Michael’s simpler upbringing and military background.
A large atlas lay open on the long table near the windows, a line running along the Seine from Le Havre to Paris.
“Good morning, Jacques.” Michael walked in and rounded a seating area to where Jacques was looking at the map.
“Good morning. I assume the duchess is not in town, since I have heard no little feet storming the hallways.”
Michael slapped his shoulder with one hand while shaking his hand with the other. “Elinor and the children are in Scotland. I had plans to travel home at the end of the week. Did we have an appointment that I’ve forgotten?”
They left the atlas behind and Michael sat in a large wingback chair facing the door.
Jacques followed, facing him on a mustard-colored divan. “No. I have a matter of great urgency to discuss, and did not think a note would be appropriate as they can go missing and fall into the wrong hands.”
“You are no
t in trouble with the French again? They have no rights here to return you to your mother country.” Michael sat forward, a deep frown creating a crease between his eyes.
“No. I would not come to you for such a minor thing. Now that I am in England, they would not dare try anything. The matter I have come about is for a friend. She is hunted by French agents and needs the help of the Horsemen or she will not survive.” Holding his breath, Jacques watched Michael’s small shift in expression. It was hard to tell if he was curious or annoyed.
Michael said, “The Buckrose Horsemen helped you because you have always been a friend to the English and the Duke of Middleton requested the assistance. What makes you think your friend will warrant their attention?”
“Perhaps she will not. In that case, I shall muddle through on my own. I will not let her be captured again.” Fear and anger coursed through Jacques, making it difficult to keep his tone level.
Leaning back, Michael eased his legs out and crossed them at the ankles. “Perhaps you had better tell me about this friend of yours.”
After telling Michael everything Diana had told him, he waited. Michael might be a duke, but he was a soldier through and through. In fact, it was his courageous acts and sacrifices that had earned him a title. He threaded his fingers together and rested them on his stomach. He appeared totally relaxed, but was like a cat ready to strike. It was foolish to underestimate Michael Rollins based on his calm demeanor.
“When you introduced us at the Royal Academy, I thought there was something unique about her. Are you certain she is telling you the truth, Jacques?” he asked softly. With so much espionage and treason about, everyone was paranoid.
It would do no good to take offense. Michael was only being cautious and didn’t know Diana. “I am reasonably certain she is in real trouble. If she is lying, she is a magnificent actress. I believe her.”
“She lied about her name.”
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