The impassioned plea was followed by silence. Knowing it wasn’t her place to say anything at the moment, Kyla looked around at the McDougall siblings. Peggy’s eyes were shining bright, apparently thrilled at the idea, but Peggy was thrilled at most ideas. Adam chewed his lip, a worried expression on his face. Finally, Kyla looked at Finlay, though she already knew what she would see.
Finlay’s normally stoic face was drawn tight in anger as he took in his brother. All eyes turned to him as the leader now, the man who was to take their clan to the future.
“How could you ask such a thing?” Finlay finally addressed his brother. “After the hundreds of years we have spent on this land, the thousands of people the McDougalls have cared for, and the people who now look to us for leadership in these times of hardship and uncertainty? You would choose to pack up, sell the family land, and leave all of this behind?” His voice shook in his controlled anger.
“Have you no honor? No decency? Callum did what he did, but the reason he left was a noble one, and when he chose to stay he did so with the understanding that we would look after everything here. Aye, these times are difficult, but do you really think we would be that much better off in the Americas? All we would be doing is creating new issues for ourselves. ’Tis a selfish thing you say, Roderick,” Finlay said, his lip curling in disgust. “If you would prefer to go west, so be it. It’s your life. But to suggest that we all go is unthinkable.”
He pushed back his chair and, with one final hard gaze at his brother, stormed out of the room, leaving his family staring at his back.
Roderick looked to Kyla.
“Do you think you could talk some sense into him? He’ll listen to you.”
She met his eye as she turned back to him.
“Do you not know him better than that?” she asked, though her words were much softer than Finlay’s. She understood her husband’s anger, but she also realized that Roderick was thinking of his family—only he was thinking of his immediate family, whereas Finlay considered the entire clan his family, as it should be.
She tilted her head to the side. “I’ve only truly gotten to know Finlay since we have been married, and even I am well aware that he would never leave this land behind. It is why Callum was able to stay in the Territories, because he knew Finlay could look after this clan better than any other. To think he would leave is incomprehensible. Finlay will never take the easy route. He will bear the responsibility on his shoulders alone, if he has to. To bring this to him a day after Duncan suggested he become chieftain is interesting timing, Roderick. I know you want what’s best for him, and in truth, I do agree that the many issues do weigh on him, but to leave would tear him apart. He wouldn’t be who he is if he could move away and never look back. Please don’t ask him about it again, and don’t ask me to intercede for you. If I have to choose sides, I will choose his. I always will.”
Roderick bowed his head in understanding, respect, and likely a bit of regret, as Kyla rose to follow after her husband, her skirts fluttering behind her as she breezed out of the room. She stopped outside the door, pausing as she heard the siblings continue to speak in their absence.
“She’s right, you know,” said Adam in his slow, thoughtful manner. “He will never leave and ye should never have asked. You know Fin better than that.”
“I know,” Roderick responded, his words tinged with regret and chagrin. “I figured it was worth a try though. I had a better chance with him than with Father. I’m afraid this land will kill Finlay one day the way he works at it.”
“Are you going to do it, still?” Peggy asked, excitement remaining in her voice. “Head out west, over the ocean?”
“I’m thinking of it,” Roderick said slowly. “What do I have here, to spend the rest of my life helping Finlay drive this place to the ground? I’d much rather go to the land of opportunity, a place where I can be whatever I choose to be. What say you, Peg, want to come with me?”
“Do you think I could?” Peggy asked eagerly, and Kyla’s heart nearly broke at the thought. Duncan would never allow it, nor did Kyla think he should. Peggy was far too naïve. “Do you think Father would let me?”
“That,” Adam said, “is another issue entirely. I think not, so I would suggest you do not get too hung up on the idea.”
“Perhaps,” Peggy said, though her voice held much hope. “Would you come too, Adam?” she asked her brother.
“No,” Adam said firmly. “No, I’m a Scotsman through and through, and no matter what becomes of us, I’ll stay on my Highlands. Besides, we can’t all run off and leave Finlay alone.”
“He’s not alone,” said Peggy. “He has Kyla now.”
Kyla’s stomach churned at that.
“That he does,” Roderick said, and she could hear the smile in his voice. “That he does.”
15
Finlay couldn’t stop pacing circles around his chamber. What he should have done was left this room and gone for a fast ride through the woods. That would have done much more to empty himself of this disquiet that filled him. He was angry. Roderick and his blasted ideas… the worst part is, he was right about the problem. But the solution? Was he daft?
A knock sounded at the door and Finlay strode over, wrenching it open a crack, ready to tell his brother just exactly where he could shove his idea, but he found Kyla on the other side. His temper simmered for a moment until he realized why she was likely here—to talk him into Roderick’s idiotic idea.
She pushed open the door wide enough that she could fit through, brushing by him with a swish of skirts and the scent of lemons, and he shut the door behind her.
“Do you agree with Roderick?” he asked without any preamble before she had a chance to walk any further into the room. “Do you want to head for the west, to be free of this place and all its trappings?”
“Absolutely not,” she said, her brows furrowed in annoyance. “Do you not know anything about me now? Or do you prefer to simply make assumptions without giving me any chance to share the truth? After you stormed out, I sat there and told Roderick exactly what I thought—that you would never leave this land or your clan, and that he should have known to never have asked you to do so. We have not been together long, but I am already well aware of what it means to you to be responsible for your people. I should hope you know that the Highlands course through my veins as much as they do yours, and I have no desire to leave this place. Think of it, Finlay. I married you in order to better our clans. I would not follow that action by leaving all of this!”
Finlay eyed her.
“Yes, I am aware that marrying me was quite the sacrifice.”
“Oh Finlay, stop your self-pity,” she said, waving a hand in the air. “That is not what I meant and you know it.”
He finally softened as he looked her over. She was beautiful when she was angry. Hell, she was beautiful no matter what emotions played out on her face. But he loved her determination, her refusal to back down. She faced him with her hands on her hips, her cheeks red from what he now knew was ire. The sad part was that he couldn’t even argue with her. He was always ready to believe the worst.
“You’re right,” he said with a sigh, finally sitting on his bed. “I do understand that about you. You would not want to leave either the MacTavishes or the McDougalls. I know it’s a struggle, Kyla, truly I do, but if we sell, all we are doing is passing on the responsibility to another landowner, one who will not care about our people. Likely a Lowlander or an Englishman would buy this place for the land, forcing out the people who remain. It’s something we cannot do.”
“Of course we can’t,” she said, crossing to the bed and sitting next to him, taking his hand in hers. “Whatever we do, whatever comes next, we shall do it together, Finlay. You don’t have to take this on by yourself. All I ask is that you let me help you, that ye let me in and listen, do you understand?”
He gripped her hand tightly.
“You know I dinna agree with everything your family has done,�
�� he muttered.
“Aye, I realize that,” she said, then surprised him by admitting, “I don’t either. I know my father is greedy, and I know my brother is lazy. As much as I love them and don’t like hearing anyone speak thus of them, I know their faults. I’m worried about the MacTavishes. I don’t know what is to come of them. My father is making things difficult enough that by the time my brother takes over, I wonder what will be left for him. And Rory certainly will not be able to manage his way out of any type of messy situation, nor has any true interest in what will happen.” She sighed. “I’m not sure what to do.”
Finlay looked at her closely. “We’ll figure it out,” he said, shaking her hand. “We willna let the MacTavishes fall to ruin, Kyla. I promise you that.”
She turned and looked at him, their gazes locking once more. How could this woman, who he could hardly speak to a short time ago, suddenly seem to know all of his thoughts and emotions with one look?
“Thank you,” she said, studying him. “I know you don’t make such a promise lightly, and I appreciate your intentions toward the MacTavishes—especially since you don’t agree with the clan’s ways.”
“Of course,” he said with a nod, though he wrenched his gaze away. “They’re your family, Kyla. And you’re my family now, which makes them mine in turn.”
Her ready smile showed itself, causing the dimple deep within her cheeks to indent.
“Oh, Finlay,” she said, lifting a hand to his face.
He forced himself not to flinch at her touch. He wasn’t used to people touching him. Lord knew his family loved to hug and share far too much with one another, but he had always made it clear that he preferred to be left alone when it came to physical contact. Kyla was finding her way around those barriers.
“Tonight was classic Finlay,” she said with a soft smile, and he frowned at her.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
She laughed lightly. “Do not be insulted. It’s a good thing. You resist change, yes, and you are quick to anger when someone challenges you. Yet when it comes to those you love and the duties you are responsible for, you put those priorities before everything else. You are hardworking and dedicated, with an iron will. I respect that about you. It shows how much you truly care.”
His cheeks warmed at her words. He couldn’t remember the last time anyone, besides his mother perhaps, had so much particularly lovely things to say about him. He found he rather liked it, especially coming from her lips, though he couldn’t entirely tell her so.
“That is kind, though unnecessary, Kyla,” he said stiffly, and she smacked him on the arm.
“You need to learn to take a compliment, Finlay,” she said, shaking a finger at him, the smile remaining on her face. “I’ve doled out more than enough insults your way.”
He chuckled at that, supposing she was correct in that regard.
“You are right about one thing.”
“Which is?” she lifted an eyebrow.
“I will do anything for my family. For my clan. I will make this all right again, Kyla.”
“I know you will,” she said, smiling at him so brightly it warmed his heart. “There is, however, one thing I must make clear.”
“Yes?”
“Finlay,” she said. “You really must stop jumping to conclusions about me. You always think the worst before you consider any other options, and you must understand that is not the case. I am your wife now, and I need you to know that even if I disagree with you, I will have your back. I expect the same from you.”
He nodded, and then finally allowed a smile to emerge. He had always had his family to rely on, but to have one person who would be there for him no matter what came their way, who would even stand up to others in the family for him… it felt incredible.
“Finlay,” she said breathily.
“Yes?”
“Try smiling more often. It suits you.”
As her lips turned into the easy grin she so often wore, he smiled one more time before leaning in and cupping her face in his hands. He looked at her, studying her face that was already etched upon his mind from years of knowing her, wanting her, needing her.
“Aye, wife,” he said softly, rubbing his thumb along her jawline. “If that is what you command, then so be it…. you have freckles on your nose.” Apparently he could still be surprised by her. “I never realized that until seeing you this close.”
She laughed at that, but then drew in a quick breath as he leaned in and gently took her lips, nibbling on first the bottom and then the top. Her pliancy sent a thrill through him, and he leaned in and hungrily took more.
When they had made love the first time, it was fire and passion and all of the pent-up lust finally released. Tonight was different. It was the coming together of the partnership they had initially agreed upon, and the fondness they had developed for one another.
It led to a tender loving, one in which they explored one another, with eyes, mouths, and fingertips. They showed one another the depth of their feeling through the way they caressed each other, and it was a gentle loving, more giving than taking for each of them.
When they lay together afterward in silence, Finlay realized something had changed that night, although he was unsure how to put it into words. Apparently Kyla felt the same, for she was strangely silent. Instead, she curled up into his warm body, and they both fell into a deep sleep.
Finally, on this night, Finlay put the cares and the worries behind him—for a time, at least—and let himself find the rest he had so desperately sought, but had always been quite unsure how to find.
16
Kyla soon found out one thing that had changed in her relationship with Finlay that both shocked and delighted her. When he rose from the breakfast table the next morning to spend his obligatory couple of hours at his desk, he asked her to join him.
She looked at him, taken aback for a moment, but upon finding his face open and waiting, she nodded in agreement and followed him into the study that he still shared with his father. Finlay sat down behind the desk after moving a chair next to his and patting it in an invitation for her to sit. As she did, she gave him a sideways glance, unable to resist taking a closer look at his profile, his jaw strong and set as he concentrated on the pages below him.
“These are our ledgers for the past year,” he explained, pointing to the leather-bound volumes before him. “Perhaps they do need a fresh pair of eyes to look for what else can be done.”
She leaned back and looked at him in astonishment for a moment.
“You want me to review them?” she asked.
“That’s what I asked, is it not?”
“Well, yes, but you didna seem quite so keen on the idea previously,” she said quickly. She didn’t want to miss out on the opportunity, but she was keen to know what had caused the sudden shift.
“I’ve changed my mind.”
She nodded once, not saying anything further. For Finlay, this was quite a step forward in terms of divesting some of his responsibilities—especially when they were to her, a MacTavish—and she knew better than to question it any further.
They spent most of the morning huddled together over the books. Kyla made suggestions where she saw them, and Finlay would nod in agreement, or provide his argument for why he disagreed. She was shocked he was listening to her—really listening, not just nodding his head to placate her, as her father often did when she tried to make suggestions to him that he didn’t agree with.
Warmth bloomed through her chest. She enjoyed being spoken to like an equal, in terms of more than what was going to be had for supper that evening or when she was going to begin washing the clothes.
They moved to the maps, and Kyla began to outline with her finger what she was envisioning. Instead of taking exception, he seemed to be actually watching the lines she drew and contemplating what she was saying. When she’d finished, he suggested that they take a ride together and he would show her some of the land division they had dis
cussed.
“It’s better when you can picture it,” he said, though Kyla was unsure of what would be better—how to divide the land, or whether or not they should—but she always enjoyed a ride.
She agreed in earnest, and after she packed a bag of food from the kitchens, they went to the stables, prepared their horses, and then led them outside to mount.
“Going somewhere?” Roderick drawled as he came out of the castle and leaned his large frame forward onto the fence.
Finlay stared at him, his anger just contained below the surface. “Is that really any of your concern?” he asked tersely.
“Come now, Fin,” Roderick said imploringly. “You know I love this place as much as you, but I love my family more,” he said. “I’m only trying to do what’s best, as are you. We just have different thoughts on how to move forward.”
“I think I made myself clear last night,” Finlay said with a thin smile as he mounted and nudged Hurley down the road. “This conversation is finished. Come, Kyla.”
Kyla smiled lightly at Roderick, inclining her head toward him, then tossed a leg over Cadarn and turned her, following Finlay down the well-worn path. When she caught him, she did have one thing to make clear.
“I’ll not be summoned, Finlay,” she said.
“Pardon me?”
“‘Come, Kyla.’ I’m not a child, nor a dog.”
He sighed. “It appears I still have much to learn about having a wife.”
“It appears you do,” she said with a laugh, lightening the moment, shocked as she was that he didn’t try fighting her on this.
“Where to, first?”
“I thought we could start along the shore and work our way around the borders of the property today,” he said, sweeping a hand out in front of him as he pointed to their destination. “We’ll see the crofts another day so you can get a better understanding of how they are laid out. I know you are familiar with them, but perhaps you’ve never taken a close look at their crops and systems. Today will give you an overview of the land available and what it can be used for.”
Finlay's Duty: A Scottish Victorian Romance (The Victorian Highlanders Book 2) Page 11
