by Annie Boone
“Are you all right?” Eleanor paused. “Dear, your lip is bleeding. Here, let me help.” She felt around inside her pockets before pulling out a handkerchief. It was soft white and trimmed with lace. “What happened?”
It was a long story, and a shameful one at that. “Thank you,” Selina murmured, and shook her head. “I don’t know what happened. But I’m fine. I’m all right.”
Eleanor looked confused then she nodded. Suddenly Selina was thankful for people who didn’t pry too far into her business. She didn’t need a busybody reminding her constantly of her sordid past. She was ready to move on and she hoped she could get help from these people.
Chapter Nine
Selina, 1879
It was the middle of harvest season, and she felt desperate for a delicious apple pie. She was young and bold, not afraid to ask for what she wanted. She’d risen early and dressed at sunrise. Once she had braided her hair, she decided she had waited long enough.
Skipping out of her tiny room, Selina hurried to the kitchen and cooked breakfast. The food grew cold before her grandmother staggered out into the hall, leaning on her cane. “You were up early. I could hear you.”
The girl blushed. “Sorry for waking you, Grandmother. I couldn’t sleep. The early morning is the best time of the day, isn’t it? That’s what you always say.”
“Selina,” the elderly woman sighed and brushed her long hair back. “There’s a point where it’s too early. There is still much for you to learn, my girl.”
Nodding furiously, the girl glanced at her plate, and then at her grandmother’s food. “Yes, of course. Did my mother get up early when she was my age?”
But the woman didn’t answer. She focused on cutting her egg, a task made difficult with her aged and shaking hands. There was little she could do these days and usually spent the afternoons in bed. She used to do needlework for the town, Leesburg, just outside Philadelphia.
Selina had come to her as an orphan when she was five years old. Her parents died in an accident, innocent bystanders turned victims in a shootout. She remembered very little of the time and Grandmother wasn’t talkative enough to share the details.
“She was smart, wasn’t she?” Selina was hesitant to ask too many questions, but today she was bolder than usual.
“She was a good child.” Her grandmother picked at her food. “Did you wake early because of your dreams?”
The girl flushed and glanced away, wishing she hadn’t mentioned the dreams. Children in town would make fun of her if they knew she was afraid of the dark and the sounds that always came with it. More than once in the last month she’d woken from her night horrors screaming, and it was the only time Grandmother showed she cared.
Tall and prone to jumping at sounds herself, she was there the moment the little girl cried. She would wrap another blanket around Selina and croon a lullaby. She whispered calming stories in her ear, and Grandmother would assure her she was not alone and that she was safe.
Selina sniffed. “No, Grandmother. I slept well last night. And you know, I was thinking. Since tomorrow is my birthday, maybe you could tell me more about my mother. And we could make an apple pie,” she added hopefully. “I could pick the apples in the orchard.”
Her grandmother was excruciatingly silent and took two more slow bites. Selina fidgeted, unable to sit still. She shoved breakfast into her mouth, wondering if Grandmother needed the question again. “Will you let me go?”
Grandmother sighed, a heavy one that made Selina close her mouth immediately. She might have been quiet and frail but there was no fighting her if she had her mind made up. “You may pick the apples. We should use them all before they go bad, anyway.”
Selina nodded hurriedly and cleaned up before grabbing up her bonnet and the basket. “Of course! You’re completely right, Grandmother. Why, we could even make two pies, don’t you think? I’ll be back as soon as I can!”
It wasn’t quite an orchard since most of the trees were dead and Grandmother only owned five on the corner outside their house. But when she called the five trees an orchard, it felt as though things were better than they were. Selina clung to the hope that something good would happen soon.
Late afternoon arrived before she knew it, carrying every good apple in her basket and one in her pocket. There had been two others, but Selina had eaten them. They weren’t the best ones, so it wouldn’t matter if they weren’t in the lot for later. Humming, she hurried back to the house.
“Grandmother, I got all the apples from your orchard!” She hurried into the small cottage anxious to show her grandmother something that would make her happy. Swinging the basket, two of the ripe apples tumbled out and scattered across the floorboards. Hastily little Selina set the basket on the table and ran around on her hands and knees to find the lost treasures.
They were both bright red and hardly bruised upon her inspection. She was satisfied and after giving them a good rub, she set them back in the basket. “Grandmother?” She called out in the silence, looking about.
When she didn’t see her grandmother in the room, she glanced back to the sun to find it was definitely later than she’d realized. She was likely in trouble for being away so long. There were crocheting needles and yarn on the bench by the window, but her grandmother wasn’t there.
“I suppose she’s napping. It’s that time of day.” Selina bit her bottom lip and looked around again. “I guess I could cut up the apples. That might make her happy.”
She prepared the apples and decided to continue. After a few years, she knew the apple pie recipe by heart and soon had the pie resting in the window to cool down. She stood looking at her work and wondered about her Grandmother again. She went to her room and knocked on the door. It wasn’t closed, so she peeked her head in, finding her Grandmother lying still on the bed.
In that moment, somehow, Selina knew that her grandmother was gone. Swallowing, the little girl tip-toed across the room and touched her grandmother’s hand. It was cold.
Selina felt a lump in her throat. Her breathing was suddenly too loud, and she bit her lip. Had she cried when her parents died? She wished she could remember. Though she couldn’t quite recall what they looked like, sometimes she remembered the way they smelled or the love in their hugs.
Grandmother had never hugged her, at least not that Selina remembered. She’d been standoffish and quiet. Selina had learned to speak and walk carefully though sometimes she forgot as she had earlier in her excitement about the apples.
Standing quietly looking at her grandmother, she didn’t know what to do about the loss she suddenly felt. She’d dealt with loss before, but it felt different now.
Tears trickled down her face as Selina carefully rose and put her cloak on. She tied her bonnet and fixed her shoes, then stepped out the door. Keeping her head down, she crossed town and asked for directions until she arrived at the physician’s office. It took the rest of the morning, but she finally made it.
“I think my grandmother’s dead. I found her sleeping and she won’t wake up.” Selina looked at him steadily then wiped her drippy nose on her sleeve.
“Are you sure? I imagine she was overly tired. Go home and give her more time to rest. She’ll be fine then.” The doctor looked down at her with kindness, but he seemed certain she didn’t know what she was talking about.
“No, you need to come. She needs you.”
“Well, then. Let me get my bag.” He nodded and went to the other room. Soon he was back with a bag. “Let’s go and check on your grandmother.”
They went out the back way to his cart. He helped her up and got in beside her and slapped the reins to get his horse to move.
“My house is out by the dry creek.” Selina felt nervous and hoped she’d done the right thing by leaving her grandmother alone while she came for help. “I hope you’re right and she’s awake now.”
“We’ll soon see, child.”
They soon arrived and Dr. Collins jumped out of the cart and rushed in.
Selina followed close and then watched as he touched her grandmother’s neck and then her wrist. It didn’t take long and soon he shook his head.
“I’m sorry. You’re name is Selina, right?”
She nodded. “I was right?”
“Yes, I’m afraid so. Get what you need and you’ll stay with my family tonight. I’ll sort out the details with the sheriff.”
Selina felt lost and alone, but she was thankful for his kindness. Mrs. Collins planned a small funeral and Selina said goodbye to the only family she had left.
* * *
“Are you Selina?”
She was keeping the doctor’s children happy with their marbles in the front yard and hadn’t even noticed anyone near enough to speak to them. A young man stood just inside the gate with his hat in his hand. He had floppy brown hair and a smile that made his eyes crinkle. She nodded hesitantly, and he put out a hand.
“I’m your cousin, Ben.”
“Cousin?” She stood with a frown. “I didn’t think I had one.”
He shrugged. “Well, Mary and James aren’t my real parents, but they took me in when I was younger. They call me their son once in a while so I think that’s close enough. James sent me to take you home. We should be going.”
Mrs. Collins came out and confirmed she was expected to go live with her aunt and uncle. Bewildered and forlorn at how her life had changed again so fast.
“My grandmother never mentioned any other family. I’m not going with a stranger.”
“I guess we should have prepared you for this, Selina.” Mrs. Collins watched the man named Ben for a moment and sighed. “Mary is your mother’s sister. I don’t know why no one told you about the rest of your family, but you do have blood kin.”
Selina stuck her chin out and thought for a moment. She looked up at Ben and then away again.
“You belong with family, Selina. I’m here to make sure you get there safely.” Ben stepped to her and held out a hand.
Deciding she had no other option, she stood up and took his hand.
Mrs. Collins helped her get her things into her bag and packed them a basket of food for the road. Soon she was headed to Boston with Ben. He’d borrowed a second horse, and the two of them made good time.
She asked as many questions as she could think of on the journey. Ben was patient and kind, answering every question she threw at him. Selina wondered what her aunt and uncle were like. All the answers in the world couldn’t take the place of seeing for herself and she was anxious to get there.
Would they be cold, like her Grandmother? Or perhaps cheerful like her cousin was?
Finally they arrived at the place she would soon call home. Ben held his hand out for her and she took it as they went through the door. “I’m back! Selina’s here!”
“About time.” The tone was disgruntled and rude. Selina jumped when a cranky looking woman met them in the kitchen. “Get us some fresh water, will you?”
Selina glanced at Ben who shrugged. He was a happy fellow, so different from this woman who must be her Aunt Mary. Her heart sunk.
For the first week she asked questions about her family, but they had no interest in the past or helping her understand more. Selina’s curiosity slowly died. The hope in her heart dimmed. The only reason she didn’t lose her optimism completely was because of the small Bible Ben handed over one night.
“You asked me what makes me happy. It’s this book. Everything you need to know is inside.”
“I can’t read.” She looked down and pushed the book away.
Ben sat down beside her. “Then I’ll teach you.”
Chapter Ten
Susannah, 1883
She shook her head at the young woman, trying not to be exasperated. Once again she was left wondering what it was with Selina why she was so stubborn and quiet. Susannah wished again she knew Selina’s story. It would help to know where she was really from, why she clearly never slept well, and what had happened to her. Knowing the details of the beating might make it easier to help her.
“I don’t care what you want,” she repeated. “You’re going to town with me to see the doctor. You’ve been limping since you arrived and I want to make sure nothing serious is causing it. Besides, I’m sure he would like to look at your wrist. I know there’s something wrong with it since you keep favoring it. I see more than you think I do.”
As she talked, Susannah bustled about the room. Since they were heading into town for the day, a last minute plan, the women would need to take care of the chores before they left. Tending to the animals, the garden, and getting supper started had to be finished before they could go.
Though she appeared to be unafraid of hard work, Selina had stopped at Susannah’s mention of visiting the doctor. What could have happened that she was so self-conscious of her injuries? Selina worked hard on all the chores she was responsible for, and Susannah wondered the work on top of the injuries was making her worse. At this point, the young woman might need to be resting between every chore—or not doing any chores at all.
“Oh, that’s not necessary.” Selina hesitated and waved the idea off with her good hand.
“Oh yes, it certainly is.” Susannah opened the curtains and gave the girl a firm look. “I will have Lucas carry you to the cart if we must. But I don’t allow problems to go unattended for too long. In fact, I should have taken you to Dr. Fitzgerald’s the first day you arrived. Here we are.” She pulled out a dress from the girl’s wardrobe. “We have a busy day ahead, so let’s get started.”
Humming, she moved about the house in her usual orderly fashion. They had yesterday’s bread with some fresh butter and jam for breakfast. After tidying up the kitchen, Susannah joined Lucas with the barnyard animals. By the time they finished, they found Selina watering the last of the garden.
Soon they were on their way into town. Selina was quiet, and Susannah wasn’t surprised as she’d expected her to be annoyed, or at least worried. Lucas helped them out of the cart when they arrived at Timothy Fitzgerald’s office, and Susannah led the younger girl inside.
“Well, if it isn’t our very own Susannah Jessup. What can I do for you today, ma’am?” Timothy wouldn’t be Timothy without his loud drawl and bowler hat. He tipped it towards the two women as he wrapped up a conversation with his wife, Alice, who was dropping off a basket.
“Good morning,” the woman said softly and left them to their task.
Susannah put a hand on Selina’s shoulder and looked at the doctor. “I have a dear friend with me and she’s had some trouble. I’d like to make sure Miss Carlson here is doing all right.”
He nodded, waving his fingers at them. “Of course, of course! Come, step right into my office. This way, ladies.” The short man led the way down the hall.
Dr. Fitzgerald was a friendly man who had been raised on the road by his parents who had been doctors as well. His sister worked as the midwife for the area, a good team of two cheerful and rather loud folks. They were very likable, and Selina would soon see there was nothing to fear.
“Miss Carlson, where do you hail from?” He asked as he opened a room for them. There was a cot and three chairs. Susannah glanced in and then stepped aside for Selina who entered and took a chair. Susannah followed, and the doctor took the last seat.
It didn’t take long at all. While Selina refused to explain anything, the tension was ignored by both Timothy and Susannah by their positive approach to get the truth. Susannah sighed at the difficulty, but they were eventually able to sort through the majority of Selina’s injuries with Timothy’s attentiveness.
“You’ve survived quite the bashing,” he told her. “But you’re healing well, I can see. Your eye will be right as rain soon enough, and I don’t think your face will scar. It’ll just take a little time. Your ribs will heal a little slower, but your breathing should be fine soon enough. Your hip is our only real concern. Did a horse fall on you?”
Susannah glanced quickly over at Selina who offered a tight smile at the
joke. “No, fortunately.” Her tone was hushed and uncooperative.
Timothy didn’t mind and shrugged. “Well, it’s all right. Time should help it. Get some rest and you’ll be back to normal before you know it. Let’s re-wrap your wrist before you go. Other than that, we’ll be done here.”
Selina was quiet as Susannah finished her conversation with Dr. Fitzgerald and then they stepped back out into the sunlight. Clasping the younger girl’s hand in hers, they started down the street for the mercantile.
“I know you didn’t care for the visit with the doctor, but I feel much better knowing with a surety everything is well. I don’t want anything ill to happen to you, and you’ve been quite tired since you arrived. But Dr. Fitzgerald is right, dear, you clearly need more rest. We’ll end our trip early today, and I won’t be expecting you out of bed until supper.”
Inhaling deeply, Selina shook her head. “You’ve already done so much for me, and I’ll never repay you if I take time off. Goodness, Mrs. Jessup, I wouldn’t dare think of taking advantage of your kindness.”
Squinting in the sun, Susannah glanced around them as they stepped up to the shop. But she paused, finding Wyatt Thomas standing just ahead of them. He’d stopped in mid-step, one hand on his jacket and the other on a small box from the general store. The young man was staring at them, and so she offered a wave. The movement caught his attention, and he came over.
Taking his hat off, Wyatt nodded. “Hello, Mrs. Jessup. How are you today?”
“Wonderful,” she grinned. His timing was perfect. Turning to Selina, she was glad to see she was looking well enough. The scratches were fading, and the yellowing bruise around her eye was hardly noticeable. She was very pretty and Wyatt couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off her. “Mr. Thomas, it’s been too long. Selina, this is Wyatt Thomas. Mr. Thomas, this is Miss Selina Carlson, from Boston. She’s a guest in my home and we’re shopping.”
