by Annie Boone
First, she cleared her throat. “Good morning,” Selina offered politely, clasping her hands behind her back as she waited for Susannah to acknowledge her.
The humming died away as Susannah sighed, attempting a shy smile as she turned around. They hadn’t spoken since yesterday in the garden. The tension was still there, and it only made Selina more anxious and she couldn’t meet Susannah’s gaze. “Is there any chance I might borrow the cart? I’d like to go into town.” She spoke hurriedly before Mrs. Jessup could get a word in.
Susannah debated this for a moment in her mind before finally offering a nod. “I suppose so, yes. Is something wrong? I could come with you if you need me to. I’d hate to worry about you being alone, and you’re only just now feeling better. Where do you need to go? I can—”
Susannah stood up and Selina waved a hand to stop her. “No, but thank you. I should return before noon to help prepare supper.” She bit her tongue and considered mentioning her desire to discuss what had happened between them the day before. But now wasn’t the time. Worrying about it would distract her from her first errand of the day.
“At least might I help you set up the cart?”
Her voice was meek and soft, almost enough to convince Selina to accept the suggestion, but she shook her head after thinking about it for a minute. It was a lovely day, and it would help her stretch her muscles by taking care of it herself. “Thank you, but no. I’ll return when I’m able.” After hesitating one last time, she offered a tight smile and made her way out the door.
Mr. Jessup had showed her how to strap the horse in and set the cart up for a journey. Fortunately she had a good memory and was able to get ready to go with little hassle before climbing into the seat.
At least the sun was out, she tried to tell herself. A nice day to get things done and to get her life in order. She owed herself that much as well as the others. She clenched the reins tightly and squinted at the road ahead. The ride was a short one, shorter as she focused on what she wanted to say.
Wyatt Thomas had told her about his ranch, nestled into the corner of a nice valley and had even told her how to get there. It was simple enough in this big sprawl of the country, for it was just off the beaten path before she reached town. Selina’s memory served her well as she took a deep breath and headed onto his trail from the main road.
It was a long path up to the house, and her heart started beating much faster the moment she saw it. It was a lovely little place and its charm surprised her. Though she’d never seen Wyatt’s home, his touch was clear. The house was quaint and newly finished.
As she drew near, she saw Wyatt stepping out of the house, putting his hat on. He was already dressed and ready to go for the day, acting almost as though he had expected her.
“Good morning,” he called, coming out to meet her with the horse and cart. Tipping his hat, Wyatt patted the horse before helping her down. She accepted his hand reluctantly, glancing up at the man as she tried to keep her resolve. It was almost too easy to forget her troubles when he smiled so brightly at her.
Wyatt’s dark eyes sparkled, and she wondered again how all of this was possible. As much as she had wanted to confide in him for the last few weeks, now Selina had to come about something else. Because he wasn’t who she thought he was. His smile was a lie, and he was trying to deceive her. Such an idea made her ill, and she had to look away.
“Good morning,” she managed hesitantly, trying to decide how to dive into the matter. “Mr. Thomas, I need to speak to you. About something quite important.”
Nodding, he stepped back and flashed her a grin she couldn’t return. “Please, call me Wyatt. We’ve known each other long enough. Do you want to come into the shade to speak?”
Unconsciously she took a step forward, ready to accept, but it was a step in the wrong direction so she hurriedly backed up against the cart and shook her head. “Actually, I, um, Mr. Thomas, I would rather not.” Selina swallowed and dropped her gaze. Tension built between them as she refused to use his first name. He noticed and his smile tightened as a crease built in his brow.
“Of course,” he nodded politely and hesitated. “What can I do for you today, Miss Carlson?”
He was polite, but it came off more coldly than he’d ever spoken to her before. While she was certain he didn’t mean it so harsh, it brought tears to the corners of her eyes. Holding her head high, Selina tried to hold herself up straight as she cleared her throat.
“I came to Rocky Ridge to escape the life I had in Boston. While I wholly intended to start over, I never had marriage in mind. I have recently learned you are a client of Susannah Jessup’s matchmaking service and I believe I have been used unjustly.”
There was a moment’s delay as he frowned. “What?”
She forged ahead, trying to remember everything she wanted to say. The man moved and put out an arm to her, but she stepped aside smoothly. “I don’t know what gave you the impression I was in the market for a husband, but I am not. And you have been lying to me. I won’t have it. I won’t,” she added stubbornly, and paused breathlessly while she tried to finish her thoughts. Swallowing hard, Selina realized her palms were sweaty, so she rubbed them dry.
“What are you talking about?” Wyatt shook his head, but didn’t try to move any closer. “I mean, it’s true I went to Mrs. Jessup about her matchmaking abilities, but I hope you’ll believe me, my intentions were good. When she suggested I start visiting, I was under the impression you knew about the service. I thought you were happy about seeing me. In truth, I forgot about her matchmaking because I liked you right away.”
She shook her head impatiently and gave him a hard look. “Then why didn’t you say something? Why did you just assume we were courting? Or close to it?” She added hurriedly, refusing to accept the fact that they had been courting. No one could start a courtship without an official request, could they?
He flushed as he brushed his hair out of his face. Desperately he looked for an answer in the air before throwing his hands up in frustration. “I didn’t know it had to be said! Selina, please, I never meant to hurt you. I wouldn’t ever knowingly do anything to upset you. Did we not enjoy each other’s company?”
“That’s beside the point,” she groaned in frustration. Her hands formed fists and a stray tear escaped that she brushed away angrily hoping he didn’t notice. “The foundation of our friendship was based on a lie. I won’t fall for your deceptive practices.”
He hesitated. “Deceptive practices?”
She stomped her foot. “You know what I mean, Wyatt. You’re not dumb. At least, I didn’t think you were. Until I found out about your lie. What else have you simply decided not to tell me?”
Wyatt rubbed a hand down his face. “I would have wanted to court you even if I’d met you without Mrs. Jessup. And the truth is, she didn’t actually set up our meeting.”
But Selina shook her head. “And now you tell me more lies? I cannot trust you, Mr. Thomas. I simply came to tell you we should stop seeing each other, and I’d rather not meet with you again. If you are a gentleman, you’ll respect my wishes.” The words came out more bitter than she intended, and tension hung in the air. Pursing her lips, Selina turned away. “Good day, Mr. Thomas.”
Stunned, Wyatt stood there as she clumsily climbed back into the cart without his assistance, and drove away. She headed down the trail, clinging to the reins tightly. By then, her resolve was at its end and the tears broke free. Sniffling, she tried to clear her vision and headed back to the boarding house.
Chapter Sixteen
Selina Carlson was nearly out of sight by the time Wyatt finally closed his mouth. Swallowing, he blinked and squinted, seeing Selina growing smaller as she travelled away from him. Several minutes had passed since she left him. He could feel his mind still trying to catch up to what had happened. It felt like he had been thrown off a speeding horse, the air escaping his lungs and his body braced for impact.
He didn’t know what to do. He hadn�
��t known how to defend himself, having not expected her visit or her argument. Staggering to his porch, Wyatt wiped his brow and took a deep breath. Her harsh words rolled over him as he tried to understand.
Things had been going well. He’d been happy, and he thought she was, too. Actually, he was sure she’d been happy. It had been obvious in all their time together. Several times he’d considered asking her if he might court her, but he thought it best to spend a little more time together first. There was less pressure and as she said, a gentleman wouldn’t presume things.
Maybe he should have mentioned the matchmaking, he mused, and began to pace. Since she was staying with the Jessups, from the hints Susannah shared, Wyatt had honestly believed Selina Carlson had come to Colorado to marry. Wasn’t that what all women wanted? Granted, he didn’t know much about women, but he’d heard women needed husbands. Clearly, there was still too much he didn’t understand about women.
“What can I do about this?” Pacing, Wyatt muttered under his breath while he tried to think of solutions. But he’d never been in a situation like this one before and he was stumped. Usually he could take a physical action and handle any problem with brute force. But this was something else. Another person, a wonderful person, was struggling because of this mess. Because of him.
Her voice rang in his head. I cannot trust you, Mr. Thomas.
When she’d said those words, Wyatt’s heart stopped. Then she wondered out loud about other lies. She seemed certain he’d withheld details from her and she was right. While he’d shared a few stories about his life, there was much he’d left out. He’d told her about losing his parents to a murdering bandit when he was eleven. But he’d faltered when he tried to tell her how that horrible experience had eventually molded his decision to become a bounty hunter.
She wasn’t aware that he was a man with a tendency to step outside the law to do his job. Correction—his former job. In that life, he’d not been the gentleman he wanted to be now.
Throwing his hat down, Wyatt turned back and watched the dust in the air swirl closer to the road. Upon seeing it, his first instinct was still to sniff the wind, studying the direction of the horses. Automatically his guard was up and he was scouting out the best angles and ready to evade the sunlight. It was a hard habit to break even as he rubbed his forehead and knew she was most likely headed back to the Jessup’s. She wouldn’t be coming back to see him. She’d said she was done with him and he believed her.
Starting fresh was difficult. He’d lost everything once, and he’d run away from the pain. Joining Luis the Sixer had changed him into a man who took control of everything at the expense of his integrity. It was supposed to have been easy this time around, to clean up and settle down while making something better of his life. By simply deciding to do it, he’d thought it could happen with hard work and determination like before.
“It should have been easier,” he grumbled to himself and kicked the hat. It flew up in the air before dropping back down with a soft thump. It brought back memories, watching men rise and fall.
He accepted the way things had been but didn’t want to continue down the same path. He wasn’t sure why he couldn’t tell Selina about that part of his past. There had been plenty of opportunities to tell her, but he’d ignored every one. His past wasn’t his future, so why was he so uncertain?
What would happen if she found out the sordid details of what he’d done before he came to Rocky Ridge? If he told her how many times he’d used his guns, of the hard things he had done to do get what he needed, he was sure she’d reject him. He laughed bitterly when he reminded himself that none of that mattered now since she’d discarded without ever knowing about his history as a bounty hunter.
His thoughts momentarily spread broader. He didn’t want anyone to know. Nobody would accept him and that’s the reason he’d hidden it. Knowing he could head into a sour bout of self pity, he tried to redirect his thoughts. Worrying over what may never happen wasn’t helpful.
Picking up the hat, he shook his head and frowned at it. Biting his lip, he headed towards the steps of the house again, when a memory came to mind.
Just two weeks ago, they’d taken a stroll after church. He had promised Mrs. Jessup he’d return Selina back to the boarding house safely. It was a nice day out and Selina had fixed her bonnet as she glanced up at him curiously.
“I don’t know much about you.” Selina had tilted her head and jutted her chin out. Then she’d smiled. “Tell me something about yourself, Mr. Thomas.”
At her intense gaze, he’d shifted on his feet unsure of what she wanted to gather from him. His mind went blank of everything he knew, so he shrugged. “Sure, but what do you want to know?”
She lowered her head, but he saw the beginnings of a smile. The cut on her lip was much improved, and only a dark line that stretched upward almost like a dimple. For a moment he watched her curiously as she finally said something more to guide him in the right direction. “Anything. What were your parents like?”
He kept the memories of his parents on a shelf in his mind as though it were a book he kept out as a reminder but tried not to open frequently. As the two of them walked around the outskirts of the Sunday crowd, Wyatt thoughtfully considered the scars of the past and how he might answer her question. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he decided where to begin.
“They were robbed one evening in town. It was summer, and a Saturday. I’d stayed out late to play in the alleyways. As I came home, two men raced from our yard and knocked me down. I went in to find my parents where they had been left by their killers. They’d been sitting by the window reading. The books had fallen from their hands to the floor.”
“I’m so sorry, Mr. Thomas. You were young?”
“Yes, just a boy. We never had much, but my father was a printer and we would read every night. He always had books for us to read. That was important to him. I didn’t appreciate it at the time, but I do now for sure.”
“I suppose so. Tell me what they were like. I’d love to learn about them.”
“My father’s voice was like a summer wind. I that even makes sense. He spoke with confidence in deep even tones.” He could feel her gaze on him so he tried to be as descriptive as possible. “They would take turns reading out loud. He’d tell me about the histories, and she’d tell me the stories. I worked in my father’s shop and never went to school because I had all the learning I needed with them. And my mother, she whispered like a songbird. The ones that come out in early spring to remind you the weather is warming. Oh my folks, they loved their books, and I buried several with them.”
She was quiet before finally resting a hand on his arm. Wyatt had tensed up on instinct, but forced himself not to move. “They sound like they were lovely people. I think I would have liked them very much,” she said softly. “Thank you for telling me about them. You know, I lost my parents when I was a child as well, and I don’t remember them much. It makes me sad that so little remains in my memory about them. In fact, I feel somewhat guilty about it.”
“You shouldn’t feel guilty about that, Miss Carlson. You were too young to remember everything. It’s only natural that time would fade their memory.”
“It’s strange, isn’t it? People come and go throughout our lives, but it’s still up to us to become who we’re meant to be. To find God’s purpose in our lives.”
As they completed their turn about the street, he guided her towards his cart. “What do you mean?”
Selina accepted his hand to help her onto the bench. “Even without their strong influence on you growing up after that day, you were able to become a good man. It’s a hard thing, growing up and deciding who you’re going to be. Deciding how to hear God’s voice and what it means. But we all have to do it on our own.”
Selina was right. It’s a choice, Wyatt nodded, staring up at his house. It was a good, sturdy home ready for anything. But was he? Gritting his teeth, his heart pounded, and he came to the realization right then that he
was a decent man. He’d changed his life, and he was choosing daily to follow the plan he believed God had for him. Yes, every day he tried to do better than the day before.
Selina was pushing him from her life. She’d not minced words about her intentions regarding that. But he wanted to clear the air with her once and for all. It may not change her mind, but that wasn’t his true purpose. He simply wanted to do the right thing and be honest. If it softened her heart he’d be happy about it. If not, he’d understand and let her go.
He dusted off his hat and went to the corral. Resolve and determination helped him start the journey.
Chapter Seventeen
Once she was out of view from Wyatt Thomas’s property, Selina had to slow the horse down as she attempted to rein in her nerves. Clucking her tongue, she took a deep breath and tried to force her hands to stop shaking. Wyatt’s handsome face kept returning to her mind, his blustering words and poor excuses. As much as she wanted to believe his words, she just couldn’t.
Thoughts like these kept her so preoccupied she didn’t notice the man on horseback until she was blocked off from her path. On the last couple of blocks of Rocky Ridge, she’d taken a detour through a corner of town and suddenly couldn’t move forward. At first, she didn’t realize who it was, and opened her mouth to ask if he might move out of her way.
His appearance had drastically changed. Haggard, he had lost a lot of weight and now wore clothes too big for him. The cuffs kept his shirt from falling over his hands, but everything looked all wrong. His eyes drooped but his lips were pressed in a familiar hard line. And those eyes, the dark eyes that made her heart drop to the depths of her stomach, had nothing but pure hatred within them. Her mouth hung open in shock.
