“Why? What could interest you about my life?”
His fingers lingered once again on her cheek. A strand of hair had come loose from her bun, and he tucked it behind her ear. “Maybe it’s not your world but you I want to understand more.”
Sunny couldn’t move, could barely breathe. She’d known the man had charisma, but this kind of focused intensity was mesmerizing.
“Why?” she asked, not caring that she sounded ridiculously breathless. Right here, right now, standing in this room with gowned and tuxedoed people dancing around them, it seemed perfectly right to be staring into the eyes of a gorgeous man and feeling a bit light-headed. “I’m only an employee.”
Nick grinned, and she felt her knees dip. “You’ve never been only an employee. You have corporate CEO written all over you. Along with country-club matron and society doyenne.”
Talk about having your balloon popped. She stepped away, the whirling room instantly coming into sharp and disappointing focus. It had been stupid to let herself get swept away.
“Right now the only thing I am is kitchen help at D’Angelos restaurant.” She unbuttoned her white jacket and peeled it off. “I came here to get away from people who assume I have to be something because I’m supposed to be, or because I was born to be. I can’t help it that I was born and raised a Chandler. But it’s not like I expect anything because of it. You say you want to know the real me, and yet you already have me pigeonholed, too.” She shoved the jacket into his hands. “I quit.”
“Sunny, wait!”
She kept right on walking, picking up speed as she went, not stopping until she was in the alley behind the kitchen of the rented hall.
She stood there and took a deep gulp of air. Well, that probably hadn’t been her brightest move to date, but she’d apparently found her last straw.
Nick burst through the back door and came to a skidding halt in front of her. “Sunny, take this.” He held out the jacket.
She folded her arms. “What part of ‘I quit’ didn’t you understand?”
“I didn’t mean to insult you back there. I was making an observation, sort of stating the obvious.”
Heat flared inside her again. “Which is what?”
He raked his hand through his hair. “Come on, even you have to admit that you don’t exactly fit the mold of a typical D’Angelos kitchen helper.”
All her righteous indignation suddenly fled, and exhaustion and defeat filled her instead. “Apparently I don’t fit any mold.” She turned to leave. To go where, she had no idea, but she couldn’t stay here a moment longer.
“I’m sorry.”
He’d said those words to her before, but something in his quiet tone made her stop.
“What is it you’re trying to prove, Sunny?”
She turned. “Nothing. That’s just it. Can’t I just show up and work? I’ve done nothing but give my best effort for you. I only asked to be accepted for the person I am, the one who shows up and does the job.”
“I respect your work. I know it wasn’t easy tackling something you had no training for. And I wasn’t aiming to insult you. You talked about your world, and I was merely stating that, despite your hard work for me, I look at you and I don’t see you as a kitchen worker.”
“Why? It’s good enough for you. So why isn’t it good enough for me? If I show up and do the work, than why can’t I just look like what I am?”
He dared to step closer, holding her gaze in an almost challenging way. She didn’t retreat. No more retreating, she knew that now.
“Because you don’t,” he said quietly. “You could work in my kitchen for the next fifty years and I will look into your blue eyes and your beautifully refined face and at the delightfully graceful way you carry yourself and listen to your perfect diction and picture you in drawing rooms taking afternoon tea.”
“That’s breeding, upbringing. I can’t help how I look or how I talk. I’m hardly a snob.”
“No, I never said that or meant it. But you said yourself you don’t fit in, so you do see what I’m getting at.”
“All right. But it’s not because of my background.” She searched for the right words to explain. “It’s because…I’ve discovered that working in a restaurant, or even running one, isn’t going to be my particular passion. It is yours, so it suits you. If it were mine, then it should suit me, too, no matter whose blood runs through my veins. It’s not about blood or breeding, it’s about what’s in here.” She pressed her fist to her heart. “You’d be surprised to hear this, but you and my grandfather have a lot in common. He spends all his time telling me who I am and who I will be, as if my heritage predetermines every thought or feeling I will ever have. You look at me and see my genes and hear my education in my voice and expect me to be that person, too. Neither of you has ever bothered to figure out who I really am.”
“Who are you, then?”
She flung her hands in the air, no longer angry at him, but the confusion and frustration she’d been dealing with for weeks all bubbled over. “I don’t know! How in the hell am I supposed to figure out who the hell I am if no one will just let me be myself long enough to figure it the hell out?”
He smiled, and it was all she could do not to sock him. She began to understand his sisters’ appetite for physical violence.
“What,” she demanded heatedly, “is so amusing?”
“You. I’ve never heard you swear like that. I always thought it would be fun to make you lose that incredible cool of yours.”
“Fun?”
“Well, I wasn’t thinking of making you lose it in anger.”
That stopped her.
He moved closer still, and his smile faded. “Do you really care that much?”
That took her off guard. “What do you mean?”
“Do you really care what we think of you? Me, or your grandfather, or anyone? Why does it matter?”
She opened her mouth to defend her point of view, but she couldn’t. It was a good question. Dammit. “I love my grandfather, despite how frustratingly closed-minded he can be. I suppose I’d like to think he loved me enough to allow me to find what makes me happy and pursue it. Even if it’s not related to the Chandler empire.”
“Fair enough.” He put his hands on her shoulders and drew her closer. “So what about me? Why does my opinion matter?”
His touch rattled what little she had left of her composure, but she made no move to break contact. She tried to look away, but his gaze demanded she return it. His expression demanded honesty. So she gave it to him. “I honestly don’t know. Except it does. I admire what you do and how well you do it. I admire that and envy it, as well. One thing I have found here that I don’t want to lose is the warmth and connection you all have. It’s a big part of who you are. And I like who you are. I suppose I’d simply like for you, in turn, to respect me. To like me for who I am.” A small smile twitched at the corners of her mouth. “Whoever the hell that might be.”
At the gleam in his eyes, she felt her heart shift just slightly off balance. “Maybe,” she added, “it’s because you do know who you are and enjoy what you do so much that I realize how much I want to find that for myself. And if you could look at me and see the real me, then maybe you could help me figure out just who the real me is.”
“Maybe instead of defining who you are by how others perceive you, you should worry about making your own self happy and satisfied first,” he said quietly. “The rest will follow. Or it will from those who are important to you. The others don’t matter.”
“I’m trying, Nick. It’s a lot harder than I thought it would be.”
“Maybe you’re looking for big changes all at once. Maybe you should focus on the little things, one step at a time. You’ll get there.”
“Maybe. I hope so.”
“Let me ask you one thing.” He pulled her closer, his hands still on her shoulders. “Do you really want to leave the restaurant?”
“I don’t know. But I don’t want to leave t
he apartment or the neighborhood. I like your family. I like it here.”
“Okay. One step accomplished. Can I ask you a favor?”
“Depends.”
“Could you stay until the end of the month? I’ll be able to get a replacement more easily then. Of course, if you change your mind, you can stay indefinitely.”
“I pass my probation then, huh?”
“I have a feeling that you could pass any test given to you, if you want to badly enough.”
She grinned. “Thank you. That’s possibly the best compliment I’ve ever received. I’ll stay. It will give me time to decide what small step to take next.”
“Can I give you a suggestion?”
“Which would be?”
“Would you enjoy kissing me? Would that be something Sunny Chandler, the woman standing in front of me right now, would like to do?”
She was still for a moment as his words sank in, then her entire body responded for her. “Yes.”
“Thank God. I’ve been dying to taste that mouth of yours since the moment I met you.” He lowered his head and ended that wait.
8
WHEN NICK lifted his head a long minute later, they were both breathless.
“I’m…” She paused to clear her throat. “I’m…That was some small step.”
“Yeah.” Nick couldn’t be funny or cool about it. Sunny Chandler’s mouth was like nothing he’d ever experienced in his life. “There isn’t a chef in the world who could create something that tastes as fine as you.”
She laughed.
His entire world had just been rocked, and she was laughing. But her eyes were shining, and he found himself laughing along with her. “Hey, it’s not often I’m moved to poetry.” Like never. He’d never been moved to say anything like that.
“It wasn’t a bad line.”
“Line? I don’t do lines.” She did that eyebrow thing, and he relented. “Okay, maybe when I was Joey’s age, but I don’t need lines to communicate my feelings to a woman.”
Her eyes went a bit darker at that. Good.
“My apologies. I guess I just assumed—”
“Never assume anything with me, Sunny. Fair’s fair, right? I’m trying to do the same with you.”
She dipped her chin. “Yes.”
He touched her face, urging her gaze to his. “I meant what I said. Your mouth is…a delicacy.”
To his delight, she blushed. He stroked her cheek. “Not that I’m assuming anything,” he said, getting a smile out of her, “but I can’t be the first to say such things.”
“Then you would be surprised.” Her smile faded. “I really…You…you really…Your kiss…” She broke off with a laugh. “Apparently your kiss has the opposite effect on me. I’m tongue-tied.”
He smiled and bent his head. “Here, let me untangle it.” She tasted every bit as sensational the second time. Even when he thought he knew what to expect, she was the unexpected. His voice was rough when he finally spoke. “Like a seven-course meal, only I’m not getting nearly full enough.”
Her cheeks bloomed again. With her lips red and wet from his mouth, it was all he could do not to sweep her up and take her to the nearest bed. His.
“You’re…” Again, she had to clear her throat. “Poetry suits you,” she said softly. “I wouldn’t have expected you to be so sweet.”
He hoped he looked properly horrified. “Sweet? I wasn’t aiming for sweet.” Actually, he hadn’t been aiming for anything. This was no longer about getting her out of his system and out of his life. He had no idea what it was about, not yet, anyway, but he’d spoken directly from his heart. “Sexy and endearing, maybe.”
“It was very endearing. In fact, I could get used to being compared to food.”
“Cuisine.” He ran his fingertip along her bottom lip, immensely gratified when he felt her shudder at his touch. “Food is too generic a word for you.” She moved from his touch, but he didn’t let her look away. “I know I’m supposed to be unassuming about you, but when I look at you, Sunny, I see fine things. And the taste of your mouth only confirms it.”
Instead of getting her back up again, his comment brought on a smile that could only be termed devilish. Unexpected. Yes, she was certainly that. He couldn’t wait to find out what she’d do next. And next. And next.
“Well, fair is fair,” she said. “When I look at you, I see…hot things.”
He didn’t think his body could be any harder. He’d been wrong. “Hot?” he said hoarsely. He crowded closer to her, bumping her body with his. “Hot how?”
Her composure slipped when their bodies connected. “Earthy hot, passionate hot.” She swallowed hard when he grinned. “You’re a very passionate man. About your family, your work.”
He pulled her into his arms. “Then it should follow I’d be passionate about…everything. Right?”
“Right,” she said faintly, just before he kissed her again. “Dear God,” she said, then swore under her breath when he finally left her lips to trail kisses toward her ear.
“I find I enjoy making you swear, Sunny Chandler.”
“What…what do we do now?” she murmured against his throat as he tucked her against his chest.
It was either hold her tight or take her right there in the alley. The wall behind her was looking real good. “I don’t know about you, but I’m not nearly through feasting yet.”
She smiled at him. “You know what? Neither am I.”
That was all it took. That simple admission, and he was over-the-edge gone. “You communicate your feelings pretty well yourself,” he said tightly, trying to get himself under control. He still had a business to run here. Dammit. “Let me go talk with the Costanzas and turn things over to Louis.” She started to pull away a little, but he held on tightly, gratified when she let him.
“And then?” she asked.
And then I want to take you to my bed and feast upon you until we’re both fully sated. It was what he wanted to say. More flowery words. They came into his mind, all but formed on his lips. She did that to him. And he discovered he liked it.
“Then we go spend time together,” he said. “So I can discover the real Sunny, and you can discover whatever you want to know about me. Your choice where.”
He could see the dreamy pleasure start to fade from her mind as reality fought its way in. No, no, he didn’t want reality. And he wanted her to forget, too, if just for a little while. It would all come crashing back too soon, anyway. His world, her world…and the chasm between the two.
Without warning, he kissed her as deeply as he knew how, pouring all his hungry passion into the kiss. When they were like this, there was no chasm between them. In fact, there had never been anything that felt so close, so predestined, as this.
When he let her go, she stumbled, and her eyes were dark and stormy. He felt much better. Passion brewed inside his Sunny.
“My ride is there. Here’s the keys. I’ll be right back.” He pressed the keys into her hands, smiling into her dazed face, and left before rational sense returned to either of them.
He went into the dark hallway at the back of the rented hall, wondering what in the hell he was doing with her. “Finding out,” he said under his breath. He had to find out what it was about her that wouldn’t let him go.
He hoped it took a good long time.
SUNNY WALKED in a sort of trance to Nick’s vehicle and unlocked it. It wasn’t until she was sitting in the front seat that she realized this was not the sedate businessman’s sedan he’d driven her to Father Sartori’s in. So he had two cars…though she’d have guessed sports car, typical toy for a successful young bachelor. But a four-wheel drive truck? It wouldn’t have been her tenth guess. And from the looks of it, he’d managed to find a place to do some off-road playing. Funny, he’d never struck her as the type to play.
Apparently she’d been doing as much conclusion-jumping about him as she’d accused him of doing about her. Only he’d been a lot more graceful in pointing it out
to her than she’d been. And now that she thought about it, she really couldn’t fault him. Like her, he’d only been working with the facts he had in front of him. It wasn’t as if he’d used his conclusions against her.
Against her. She groaned under her breath as she recalled just how intensely wonderful it had been to be held against him.
Despite all her feverish dreams, she still couldn’t believe what they’d just done, that they’d really taken the step. She blew out a shaky breath, thinking about what would happen next.
Her hair net slid to her neck, and she gasped and yanked down the mirror as she tugged it off. “Oh, God,” she groaned. She’d taken what felt like the most important step she’d ever taken with a man…looking like something from a horror show. All flushed and mussed up. Makeup gone and hair about as awful as it got.
He’d spouted poetry comparing her to gourmet cuisine when she looked like this?
She looked worse than drive-through fast food at the moment. Well, she’d wanted him to see the real her. “And it doesn’t get any more real than this.” She shook her head and snapped the mirror up.
Was he having second thoughts? she wondered. Was he right now wishing he’d never kissed her? It would change everything. Already had. Was she ready to go further?
“To fling, or not to fling,” she murmured. “That is the question.”
Nick came out of the rear entrance of the hall. He was still dressed in server attire. Black pants, white shirt, black bow tie and black jacket, befitting the occasion. The wind tossed his hair around his head, and the black jacket emphasized the sharp line of his jaw and his dark eyes. He looked up, spied her staring at him and smiled. A dazzling smile.
Fling, she thought, decision made. She might be confused, but she wasn’t stupid.
Nick opened the driver door, slipped his jacket off and undid his tie, then put them both in the back before sliding into the front seat.
When he shut the door, the previously roomy interior seemed to shrink to cozy intimacy. Had she really been in this man’s arms moments ago, getting the daylights kissed out of her?
Her fingers curled with the need to reach out and touch him. Did she have the right to touch him? Whenever, however, wherever she wanted? She didn’t think he’d say no. Well, Sunny, aren’t you here to figure out what it is you want and go get it?
Walk on the Wild Side Page 7
