He opened his mouth as if to speak, then shut his lips tightly together.
My heart, which had been so full and happy just seconds before, deflated.
I didn’t know what had changed between us, but something clearly had – ever since that stupid mistake I’d made the other night, asking Will if he’d wanted to get something to eat after sex.
Was he embarrassed to be seen with me?
Was that it?
I swallowed anxiously. Will wasn’t moving. His eyes were locked on mine in an intense stare and I felt myself start to shift into that mood, that certain mood I always felt when he was nearby. It was a blend of arousal and excitement so intense that my heart began beating like a rabbit’s.
Didn’t he know the incredible effect he had on me, and surely most of the female population?
“How are you?” I asked tentatively.
Will shrugged. “Fine,” he said. His words were plain, normal – almost cold. But the look in his eyes, that intense, insane look was the only thing that made me feel like I wasn’t losing my mind, that somehow he did want me, after all.
I didn’t understand him – not at all, and it was beginning to drive me crazy. It made me so frustrated. Every time that I was alone, thinking about Will, my mind was filled with all kinds of clever and insightful things to say. But whenever we were together and we weren’t in the middle of passionate sex, I felt so stunned that I could hardly string two words together. It was a miracle that I’d had him as a professor before and managed to pass the class with a ‘B+’ – he made me feel so dumb, so young and stupid, that I was sure he thought I was probably an idiot.
And now, I’m just rambling to myself again, I thought. I probably look like a damn deer in the headlights!
“Um, anyway, I was just going,” I said, forcing myself to snap out of it. “Have a good night.”
Will hesitated again, like he was about to say something, and I paused.
“You too, Eden,” he said in a low voice. “See you in class.”
He walked away and I stood there and watched him grow smaller and smaller, my heart sinking.
See you in class? Really? I thought. Hot disappointment washed over me and I took a deep breath. It wasn’t that I’d expected him to make any overtures to ask if I wanted to spend some time together or even ask how I was doing – knowing him, he’d consider the latter extremely suspicious.
But class wasn’t for days, and I wanted him so desperately. I stared at the wine section for a long time, not even thinking about what to buy. I kept wishing that Will would come back and apologize for being an asshole, that he wanted to spend time together.
That he wanted me.
By the time I left the store, I was so bummed out that I’d forgotten to buy several things on my list and had to stop by Walgreens on the way home to grab everything else. I got back to my apartment and found Petra setting the table. She was lighting taper candles in their holders when I walked in, and she didn’t look up as she sang out a greeting.
“Hey,” I said shortly.
Something about my tone made Petra look up and frown at me.
“What’s wrong with you?” She asked. “Everything okay?”
I bit my lip. I was so sick, so relentlessly ill of keeping my secret from her. And right now, I was feeling so vulnerable that all I wanted to do was throw myself into her arms and cry and have her rub my back and pet my hair while I sobbed about Professor Will Marks and how he was breaking my heart without even knowing it.
And I was so close, so close!
I swallowed. “Yeah,” I said. “I mean, no. I’m not okay.”
“Eden? What happened?” Petra set the lighter down on the table and walked over to me. She wiped her palms on her jeans, then put one of them to my forehead and frowned.
“You don’t feel warm,” she said, not unkindly. “You feel like lying down for a while before dinner? I think the chicken is still cooking.” Pausing, she wrinkled her nose. “I think our slow cooker might be broken. You want to replace it, or no?”
The implication of her words – that the year was drawing to a close and soon, we’d no longer be living together because college would be over – was what did it. Before I could stop myself, a burst of hot tears came to my eyes and just like that, I was crying hard. I didn’t want the year to be over – it was a cruel irony considering I’d been so excited for that very thing not more than a few months ago. But now, thinking about leaving Oakbrook College – and Will Marks – behind, in my dust, was devastating. I felt like a total Peter Pan, but all I wanted to do was throw myself down on the carpet and beat it with my fists and sob about how I never wanted to grow up if it meant ending my new relationship with the man who I loved.
“Oh my god, Eden, what’s wrong?” Petra gasped. She pulled me into her arms and hugged me, murmured soothing words under her breath and held me tightly.
All I could do was cry and cry and cry, until my nose was choked with wet snot and I couldn’t breathe. Breaking away, I went into the kitchen and grabbed a paper towel. I blew my nose and wiped my eyes on the backs of my hands, turning to Petra on shaky legs.
“I’m fine,” I said. “I ... I just think I’m having PMS,” I lied. “I just want to relax.”
Petra nodded. Her forehead was creased with concern as she leaned down and blew out the candles.
“Forget the chicken,” she said. “We’re ordering a pizza and having a movie marathon, got it?” Her tone was hopeful, cheerful, kind.
I should have told her everything right then and there. Keeping so much of my life a secret from my best friend was so darn hard that I was ready to start weeping all over again if I had to think about it.
I knew I was falling in love with Will, which was insane. We’d barely spent any time together – how was it even possible? But I knew I loved his touch, his hands, the look in his eyes when he stared at me.
Back when we’d first kissed in his car, it had been fun and elicit and so exciting that I had thought my heart would explode.
Now, I was just ready for the hiding and the secrecy to be over.
Would I ever find out if he felt the same way?
26
Will – Monday
I felt like shit – there was no denying it. Ever since I’d run into Eden in the grocery store and acted like a total prick, I hadn’t been able to forget it – or forgive myself for acting that way.
There was no excuse for it. I had, of course, still been reeling from the conversation that I’d had with Peter.
And the lies I’d told, just to keep my fucking nose clean.
I had a feeling that it was going to come back to bite me in the ass. It had been days since, and I still felt sick about it. I wondered what I could do – wait until the end of the semester and then tell Peter that Gina and I had never really been involved.
No, I couldn’t do that – that would involve finding another excuse entirely.
And even when Eden graduated, she’d be off-limits – getting involved with a recent graduate would only signal that something elicit had happened while she was still an undergrad.
Which, of course, she was.
It was a huge fucking predicament, the likes of which I’d never before had to deal with.
If it had been anyone else, anyone other than Eden, I wouldn’t have thought it was worth it. Hell, I never would have even been seriously tempted – at least, not the way I’d been with Eden.
Was it worth it?
I was still working that over in my mind. I kept going back to that night where I’d finally given in and jacked off to fantasies of her. In any other situation, with any other woman, that should have been enough to end it. Would have been enough to end it – would have been enough to make me realize that I was being foolish and horny, which was a particularly lethal combination.
Was I getting weak in my old age?
I was certainly getting dramatic – which wasn’t much better.
Monday morning, I sat in m
y office with headphones in, finally getting started on some of the work I’d been neglecting for weeks. Some of my students, a brown-noser sophomore girl in particular, had been whining about lack of access to their grades, and that was the last thing I needed on my conscience. I was already abusing my power as a professor.
The least I could do was fucking grade work like I was supposed to. I was on a roll, four papers in, when I heard the sound of a knock at my office door. I yanked out my headphones just in time to see the door swing open. Gina Grant was standing on the other side, wearing a slim grey wool skirt that emphasized her narrow waist. She raised an eyebrow at me and walked in, dropping into a chair.
“Mind if I sit for a minute?”
“You already have,” I said coolly.
Gina smiled. “Will, there’s no need to be so icy with me,” she said. “But my goodness, you’re clearly dealing with a lot here.” She snatched up one of my papers before I could stop her. “You’re looking over old work, yes?”
“Yes,” I lied through my teeth. “I ... have my suspicions about one of my students, that she might be plagiarizing. I thought looking over older work would help.”
Gina nodded. To my relief, she set the paper back down on my desk. “That’s not a bad idea,” she said. She leaned back in her chair and crossed her long legs at the ankle. “So, how was your weekend?”
I gritted my teeth. “Not to be an ass,” I said, implying exactly the opposite. “But I have a lot of work to do, and I came in early this morning just to catch up.”
Gina smiled. There it was, I knew she was fucking with me.
“Of course,” she said smoothly as she rose to her feet, still smiling.
“Oh, by the way, how’s your favorite student doing?” Gina asked innocently. She paused with one hand on the door. “Things going well?”
“I beg your pardon?” A cold sweat broke out over my body and I clenched my teeth together. Fuck, what was going on? Impossible, horrific scenarios began to fill my mind. Peter telling Gina that he ‘knew’ about the two of us – and then, because she’s no idiot, her figuring out that I’d lied.
Her figuring out that I was involved with someone at Oakbrook ... just not her.
Fuck, I thought as alarm bells began to ring in my head. What the fuck am I going to do?
“Your favorite student,” Gina repeated.
“I don’t have a favorite student,” I said. “I do my best to treat them all the same.”
The look in Gina’s eyes made me think that she hadn’t bought my story, not at all.
“We all have favorites, Will,” she said. “Come on – I know how it is. We all like the smart ones best ... well, not all the smart ones.” She raised an eyebrow and I realized that I was holding my breath. “The smart ones who aren’t assholes, at least.”
I was thinking about Eden – Eden, who fit the bill that Gina was describing.
Eden, who was more than just my favorite student.
“Not me,” I said finally. “I try to keep a good distance from the kids,” I said, emphasizing the word kids as much as I could without being overwhelmingly obvious. “I know that some of them see me as different because I’m not an old man, so I feel like I have to reinforce boundaries often.”
Gina blinked at me – clearly, she hadn’t been expecting that.
“Well, if that’s why everyone thinks you’re so cold, I understand,” she said. She paused for a second and I thought she was finally going to leave but instead, she crossed her arms over her narrow chest and looked at me.
“Gives you something to think about, doesn’t it?” Gina asked finally.
“What does?”
She smirked at me. “Just that someone can say something and mean another,” she replied.
When she left, I tried hard not to sigh in relief. I didn’t know what the fuck was up with her – was she onto me and Eden?
Or was she just toying with me, jealous because I hadn’t wanted to date her?
Academia may have been a perfect little bubble, safe and protected from the rest of the world. That was what had drawn me into it in the first place.
It wasn’t like a regular corporate job, though, and I was beginning to wonder if I hadn’t made a deal with the devil by choosing to be a professor.
The day seemed to take forever. I was in a mental fog for hours after my conversation with Gina. I even looked for Peter, to nudge him and ask if he’d just happened to mention anything about what I’d told him over the weekend. The secrets and lies were spiraling out of control and my life had felt like a mess for so long that I wasn’t sure I would ever feel right again. I usually looked forward to the end of the semester, but now I had another predicament entirely to worry about: what Eden would do.
And what I would do if faced with the prospect of losing her.
Worst of all was one other possibility, so horrifying that I nearly threw up when it entered my head. What if Peter hadn’t said anything at all?
What if, after I had been so cold to Eden at the grocery store, she had gone in search of a friendly female friend to confide in? What if she’d told that blasted roommate of hers?
Or worse – what if she’d gone straight to Gina, friendly lady professor Gina, and told her everything? Told her that I’d taken advantage of her sweet young body?
I wanted to believe that she hadn’t – that she wouldn’t be capable of doing something like that, much less thinking about it.
I was so paranoid, though, that it made thinking rationally difficult. Eden was smart, especially for her age. But she was twenty-fucking-one years old, and I knew from past experience that people her age weren’t always ... capable of making the right decisions and thinking of the big picture.
It was my fault, of course. I’d been the one who had finally pushed things over the edge, given in to the insane attraction that I felt for her.
And I would be punished.
I knew I deserved it, but it didn’t seem to make the prospect any less horrifying. I just hoped that after everything had gone to hell, Eden would still have a good life. She’d find someone young, someone her own age who would love her and take care of her.
It was maddening that I was already jealous of her hypothetical future husband, but my cold intellect could only get me so far. Where Eden was concerned, I was a regular American man: hot-blooded and horny.
The jealousy would just have to be my punishment for ruining her life.
By the end of the day, I felt nearly sick to my stomach. I’d exhausted every scenario in my head, tried to go over everything that could possibly happen if someone were to discover Eden and myself. Thinking about it made me so stressed out that I was practically vibrating with nerves.
When I left campus, I knew exactly where I was going. I crossed the muddy fields and the streets separating Oakbrook from the rest of the world and went straight to Eden’s apartment complex. Walked up the stairs. Knocked on the door.
When she opened it, she was wearing jeans and a loose sweater. Her eyes were huge, as always, and she parted her little pink lips.
“Are you alone?” I asked.
Eden nodded, and that was all I needed. Stepping into her apartment, I crushed her into my arms and kissed her deeply.
Eden’s response was immediate and delicious. She moaned and purred into my mouth, spreading her round legs wide and rubbing her crotch against my thigh. We stumbled backwards, still holding onto each other, our mouths tearing and exploring and kissing so deeply that it felt like the two of us had become a single person.
“Oh my god, I missed you,” Eden moaned. She broke the kiss and arched her back, exposing her plump, pale neck which I immediately began to kiss and suck and lick and bite. She whimpered and purred, running her hands through my hair, pushing her chest against mine. I could feel her stiff nipples through that sweater and knowing that she wasn’t wearing a bra drove me insane with desire. Sliding my hands up her shirt, I cupped and played and pinched with her nipples. Eden moaned
and cried out and I rolled her stiff little peaks between my fingers, toying with them, loving the way her delicate skin puckered at my touch.
“That feels so good,” Eden purred. She kissed me voraciously and pulled her sweater up and over her head, then dropped her hands to her front and fumbled with the snap of her jeans. Grunting and squirming, Eden tugged the denim down her thighs and I was immediately hit with the fragrance of her sweet young pussy.
She’s been wanting me and waiting, I realized, growing harder by the second. Lust exploded inside of me and I growled, grabbing onto Eden and yanking her cotton panties down her legs. I dropped to my knees and buried my face in her pussy, spreading her ripe lips with one hand and fastening my mouth around her clit. When I began to suck, Eden went wild. Her whole body trembled and shook with pleasure and she screamed my name, spreading her legs and standing on unsteady feet as I ate her delicious, musky pussy. Juices dripped down my lips and chin and my cock was throbbing – if I didn’t fuck her now, I knew I would burst.
“Will,” Eden moaned when I pulled away. I wiped my face on my shirt, then fumbled with my pants and yanked them down. My cock sprang free when I pulled down my boxers and I grabbed Eden and turned her around so that she was facing the wall. With both hands on her delectable ass, I spread her cheeks and slid my cock straight into her waiting pussy. She was so warm and wet and tight that I groaned as I began to fuck her, sliding in and out and slamming my body against hers.
Eden shook and gasped, writhing and moaning in my arms. I had her nearly pinned to the wall and I bit and sucked the back of her neck, savoring the taste of her salty skin. I spanked and grabbed her, moving my hands to her front and scooping her tits up, massaging her nipples until she cried out loudly and moaned. Our bodies writhed and moved together in a perfect, frantic rhythm. When I could feel that I was close, I moved my hand lower and lower and began to rub Eden’s clit, brushing my fingers over her sensitive surface until she shrieked with pleasure and twitched against me. Her pussy clenched my cock, gripping it as the force of her orgasm unleashed in her delicious body. We were soaked with sweat as I bucked against her, groaning and gasping as I began to come.
The Temptation: A Professor Student Romance (Forbidden First Times Book 6) Page 16
