It seemed only a moment passed before I convulsed in response to the pressure that had built up inside of me.
What was happening?
My body quivered, and a moan escaped my lips.
Wesley touched my cheek. He looked confused. Then his confusion turned to enlightenment as I smiled at him. With a sigh of relief he kissed me softly. I did not understand what had just overcome me, but whatever it was I pushed it back into the depths it had come from.
“That was amazing,” he panted at last, placing his head on my chest.
I wound my hands in his hair. I had never done that before, well, not like that at least.
“Was it everything you ever dreamed about?” I teased.
He let out a short laugh and then sighed. “I can see why people get addicted to it, that’s for sure.”
“Well, I honestly cannot believe it just happened.” I looked up at the ceiling. The guilt was slowly creeping up on me as my darker side lay back, dormant and satisfied, in the back of my mind.
“What do you mean?” He raised his head to look at me, an expression of hurt in his eyes.
“I don’t want you having the wrong idea about me,” I told him hurriedly. “I mean, isn’t it a little soon to be doing all this? I’m not saying I regret it...” The words were just pouring out now. My filter had been put on mute.
“I told you, Dawn, I knew who you were long before you ever showed up here. This is destiny. This was supposed to happen exactly as it did. When I saw you I knew this was it. So what if we did something considered taboo. I didn’t lie to you or to myself. I said exactly what I was meant to say. You cannot look me in the eye and tell me you felt nothing when you walked into that classroom.” He sounded defensive, but what did I expect?
My mouth was moving before my brain could compute what was coming out of it. I looked at him and knew that he had felt it, too, that intense pull, that magnetic pulse that somehow bound us together. It was mutual!
“We both felt it! Did you hear the voices as well?” I blurted it out and then closed my eyes, realizing immediately that it was something I probably shouldn’t have said.
“What voices?” Wesley asked, confused.
“The ones that kept saying ‘claim him.’ They wouldn’t leave me alone.”
Why was my mouth still moving?
“No, I didn’t hear any voices.” He laughed but I could see concern in his eyes. “However, if it makes you feel any better, you can claim me any time you wish!”
I tried to make light of what I’d said. “I’ll remember that,” I teased. “You know what they say: women are demons, and your soul is mine—”
Then, without warning, something weird happened. It was as if the world just came to a complete stop. A bloodcurdling scream blasted painfully through my head. It went on and on and on. I closed my eyes tightly to push the screaming aside, but it kept pulsing through my lobes. It seemed it would never stop. My heart felt like it was on fire. Then, just like that, it was over.
“You okay?” Wesley asked.
I looked blankly at him. I could feel his hands on my face.
“You totally stopped talking mid-sentence,” Wesley continued. “I’ve been trying to get your attention back for about five minutes now. You sort of zoned out there.” He looked genuinely scared.
Five minutes?
I pulled Wesley’s face to mine and kissed him on the lips, a sweet kiss meant to reassure him.
We lay there in each other’s arms for hours, just talking. I knew that the connection between us had deepened after what had happened. It was almost as if we were the same being, our brains molding together. It felt like our souls were meant never to part. It was late when we heard my mother’s car coming up the driveway.
“Oh, shit!” I exclaimed as I jumped out of bed and started throwing on clothes as fast as I could.
Wesley got stuck trying to get his belt buckled. We both knew we only had seconds before my mother would arrive in my room. That made his hands shake even more. Perspiration appeared on his forehead as his fingers refused to cooperate. I grabbed my books, scattered them on the floor, and motioned for him to sit, just as my mother’s keys jingled in the front door.
We were sitting on the floor surrounded by open books when the bedroom door swung wide. Wesley was busy explaining to me the math homework that was due on Friday.
My mother smiled and took in the rumpled sheets on the bed. She knew. I could see it on her face. It would be just like last year; another very embarrassing conversation after she had found me and my then boyfriend, Jeremy, sitting on my bed, with me still refastening my bra. You know, most kids don’t get caught by their parents, or at least not the first time. With my mother, on the other hand, it was like she knew even before I did!
“It’s getting late, Dawn, and you need your rest.” Her face lightened a little and I realized there was an amused smirk on her lips. “Thank you for staying with her, Wesley, while I made my errands this afternoon.” She gave me that mom-knows-all-look.
Could she read my mind? It wouldn’t have surprised me if she could, to be honest. In fact a lot of things would have made more sense if she could.
“It was no problem, Ms. Weathers. The pleasure was all mine,” he added, glancing furtively at me.
His cheeks were still pink and his lips swollen. He was a walking advertisement for a boy that had just lost the big V. If it hadn’t been obvious before, it certainly was now.
“Yeah, I’m pretty beat,” I agreed. I stretched, then looked at Wesley and winked. “I’ll walk you out. I expect I’ll be okay to come to school tomorrow.”
When I looked at Wesley once more his blue eyes looked darker somehow. He gave me a smile and nodded, then stood up and took my hand. I led him back into the kitchen and out the back door.
“I had fun,” he murmured when we got to his car. He had the driver’s door open but was looking at me. “Dawn, I just want you to know I didn’t plan this. I wasn’t planning on coming here and”—he stiffened—“doing that. I meant it, though, what I said. I’ve been dreaming about you for years.”
There it was again. Was I hearing things?
He hesitated a moment before planting another kiss on my lips. “Ask your mom if you can come over to my place tomorrow to hang out.”
I nodded as he got behind the wheel. After he had pulled out of the driveway I returned to the house to find my mother waiting for me.
“What were you thinking, Dawn?” she demanded as I closed the door behind me.
Here it was, the you-don’t-know-what-you-are-doing and the I-can’t-believe-you-would-be-so-stupid-you-could-have-hurt-someone speech. I had heard it a few times over the last two years.
“What are you talking about, mother?” I protested. “Nothing happened.”
I don’t know why I even tried. She could smell a lie from a mile away.
“That boy! He was an innocent!” Then she frowned. “I blame your father for this.”
“Blame him for what?” I was getting upset. I could feel the fire rolling down my arms and gathering at my wrists.
My mother sighed. “Nothing, darling. You just get some rest.”
I knew she would never tell me what exactly she blamed him for, though the Lord knew that might at least give me some insight into what I was facing.
“Well, night then, Mom.” I started toward my room, then turned around once more. “I’m going to Wesley’s after school tomorrow. He wants to hang out.”
My mother stared at me for a moment before speaking. “Okay, honey.” Her voice sounded strained.
I watched, full of indecision, as she sat down at the table and put her head in her hands.
Chapter Nine: Possession
My next week of school at Midvale was just as interesting as the first. The other students were still avoiding me, many of them clearing the halls as I made my way to my first period class. It was something I was well used to, that was
for sure, though I had figured that it would take a bit longer than just one week to get to this point.
For some reason rumors had spread that I had “turned to ash” upon exiting the building on Friday. Of course this merely added strength to the horrible idea that I was indeed a vampire. Imagine everyone’s surprise when my happy ass trotted into first period English and took my seat in front of Wesley.
“Hey there, beautiful,” Wesley whispered behind me as our teacher took to the front of the class.
I hid a smile and turned to shoot a glance at him. He was amazing. His blue eyes were dazzling, and I loved the stupidly innocent smile on his face.
“Hey there, yourself,” I whispered back.
He looked like he had more color today, and he seemed more vivid and alive. He gave me a wink and I turned back to face the front of the class.
What had I done to get so lucky?
I felt that everything was falling into place with this new beginning. Yeah, I still had my internal battles that I needed to hash out, but for the most part moving to Missouri had gone better than I had expected.
Wait a minute! What was I thinking? I had known the boy for a short time. He had invaded my dreams, given me hope, and instilled a bit of wonder in me. In just a week I had made him mine. Guilt encased me. The boy had been a virgin but now he wasn’t, because of me. I had taken what shred of innocence he still had in a moment of passion, with no thought as to the repercussions. What had I done?
I don’t think it was so much regret for what had happened that overwhelmed me. It was more regret for being the first girl he was with. We all have this vision in our heads of what that first time will be like. Little do we know that instead of the Ritz Carlton Hotel we will get the back seat of a Chevy Malibu, or be caught in the aftermath by mom, as things turned out in my case. We always think that it will be something magical, that there is some secret to it that nobody has ever told us. We don’t realize that it’s clumsy and unprepared, or that we have no idea what the Hell we are doing, so there is a lot of twisting and contorting just to figure it out.
My first time wasn’t at all like I had dreamed it would be. I had just wanted to be rid of the purity thing and something in me had forced me to act on it. My consequence occurred about a week after when Jeremy dumped me for another girl, leaving me feeling pretty vulnerable and very pissed off.
So what was I going to do now? There was no way that what had happened the previous day had happened like Wesley had dreamed it would. Instead of respecting the morality my mother had tried so hard to instill in me, I had simply caved in to the darkness and taken something beautiful from him.
After what seemed like an eternity the bell rang. As I gathered my things together I felt a hand on the small of my back. The touch sent chills through my body and my fingers itched and grew cold. I clutched my fists together; I would have to get used to my fingers turning icy like this.
“I regret nothing,” he muttered in my ear as soon as everyone else had gone.
I turned to look at him and his arms encircled me in a hug.
“I do not regret being with you,” he repeated.
I said nothing, just let him hold me. Comfort and ease replaced my agitation and the ice subsided. There was no way he could have read how I felt. Then again, maybe the way I had acted had caused him to think that he was the reason for my silence during the class.
“Are you sure?” I whispered, feeling like my nerves were about to explode.
“I’m certain.” He kissed me on the nose. “You’re my girl. Why would I regret being with the most beautiful girl anyone has ever laid eyes on?”
Flattery could very well get this boy very far. I knew I was far from the most beautiful girl anyone had ever laid eyes on, but it made me feel good that someone felt that way about me. I had never heard words like that being said to me before. They were so simple but held so much emotion.
When he pulled away I lifted my bag over my shoulder and took his hand. Warmth radiated through me. How come he had been so cold the first time I met him but was so hot now? Did he have some horrible disease I needed to know about?
Wesley walked me to my next class and kissed me softly before letting my hand go. He watched me enter and take my seat, his eyes never leaving mine. The kiss did not go unnoticed and several of the girls glared at me as I walked by. If only looks could kill… I gave Wesley a weak wave as I took my seat and he walked off to his class across the hall.
“You and Wesley, huh?” the girl in front of me asked, turning around to look at me.
I laughed. “Yeah, I guess so.”
“You’re the first girl he’s paid attention to. Wonder what makes you so special.” Her eyes narrowed.
“I’m sure I don’t know,” I replied softly as she turned back.
She ignored me for the rest of the period.
Wesley was outside my classroom when the bell rang, offering to take my bag the moment I hit the door. He walked me to all my classes that day. Since it was a small school, the classrooms were rather close together, which made it easy for him to meet me at the door at the end of each session. I wasn’t used to dating someone at my school so this was all new to me. I wasn’t sure what we could and couldn’t do. Holding hands in the hallway didn’t seem normal, and people kept staring at the two of us.
I wasn’t sure if the other girls were jealous because Wesley was with me or just hostile because I was so different to them. Wesley was what I would consider “normal” with his blue jeans, t-shirts or button-downs, and clean shoes. I, on the other hand, was not what was generally considered normal, wearing black vintage shirts with black jeans or a skirt, together with black combat boots or my favorite black Vans. Our appearances didn’t mesh. In fact, the two of us together probably looked pretty creepy to some people.
I couldn’t help wondering which of us stood to get the most from such a pairing. I had a feeling that, one way or another, my reputation at the school would be transformed before the year was over.
***
Almost before I knew it, the day was over and Wesley and I were walking hand in hand to the parking lot. He insisted on taking my bag from me and slung it over his shoulder with his own. It had been a pretty good day all in all and I felt at ease. I had Wesley, after all, and I was still relishing the fact that he had called me “his girl.”
“You coming over?” he asked when we got to my car.
I nodded. “Yeah, I told my mom and she’s cool with it.”
His arms went round me and he held me close. I didn’t want him to move, but I knew that if he didn’t we would never get out of this parking lot. Other students were already staring at us in amusement, maybe because Wesley towered over me by almost a foot or because the contrast between our appearances confused them. Heaven forbid that something so out of the ordinary should happen in their little world!
“Alright, follow me then.” He kissed me once more. I think it was as much to tease the spectators as for any other reason.
He let me go and I got into my car. My heart was racing as I put the keys in the ignition. Wesley, I saw, drove a Camaro, white with dark-tinted windows. It was the type of car that would have made my mouth water if only I had the money for one. I drove a four-door Plymouth hatchback, but at least it was black. When Wesley started his engine the noise pulsated through your body, making your teeth chatter. When my car started it sounded like… well, it didn’t sound like that.
I knew Wesley didn’t live far from the school, though far enough to make it necessary for him to drive in order to make it to class on time. I slowed as he pulled into the driveway of a large white two-story house. It was one of the older homes on the outskirts of Midvale. Getting out of my car I was struck by the beauty of the surroundings. I glimpsed a big open space at the back with flowers blooming in every corner. I was never big on flowers, but this was me turning a new leaf. I could get used to them.
“Your place is amazing,” I
marveled as Wesley walked toward me from the detached garage.
“We moved here after my mom died,” he said, motioning for me to follow him inside. “My dad needed a change of scenery so we packed up and moved here last summer.”
He took his keys from his pocket and fiddled with the door. This was the first time he had ever really mentioned his mother. Until then I had been unaware of her passing.
“My sister is at a friend’s house and my dad won’t be home till late, so we have the place to ourselves,” he told me, changing the subject. “I usually get a few hours to myself every afternoon to meditate.” He gave me a big smile and opened the back door. “By meditate, of course, I mean play video games.”
I rolled my eyes. Playing video games seemed to have become the most socially acceptable method of bonding among our generation, at least among the boys. Most of them played video games with headphones on and used a microphone to talk to the other players. Wasn’t that what a phone was for—calling your friends?
“I’m sorry to hear about your mother,” I said a little awkwardly as we went inside.
Wesley didn’t reply, but instead lead me into the largest kitchen I had ever seen. The room was spick and span, with not a trace of dust and all the stainless steel fixtures sparkling. You’d have thought it was never used.
“We have a maid that comes twice a week,” Wesley explained. “There’s nothing in this house that looks like it’s ever been touched.” He put his bag down and hung his keys on a hook on the wall labeled “Wes.”
How the Hell does he know what I’m thinking all the time?
“Don’t worry about my mother,” he went on. “She was very sick. We all knew that it was coming. I made peace with the whole idea long before my father did.” He wrapped his arms around me and nuzzled my neck with his nose. “Want to see the rest of the house?”
I nodded and he led me out of the kitchen and into a hallway. There were pictures of him and his sister everywhere on the walls. She was a smaller version of him, from the color of her eyes to the smile on her face. You could see from their pictures just how happy they both were. I was puzzled, though, at the way Wesley seemed so quick to shove aside his mother’s memory.
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