I knew my mother was concerned. I was acting weird, even for me, but something within me was gone. Where my heart once was there was just this black hole filled with a heart-shaped stone. I had never been in love before, and the one time that I had let my heart go he had slaughtered it. I vowed right then that I would never do it again.
Every night before bed I lay there staring at the ceiling, telling myself that love wasn’t worth it. All it did in the end was hurt you. All it did was leave you hollow and alone. I would never love again. Life was easier to lead when you could walk through it without caring. Only God knew how long I would be on this earth, so the best policy was to throw up a wall and keep everyone else out. My eyes had darkened again. This time, instead of a deep brown, they were almost black. The ice never tingled in my fingers anymore. I was finding myself drawn to the fire, the tantalizing darkness of it.
***
About a week after Wesley cheated on me, my mother sat me down at the table to go through his mother’s old sketchbook. My issue was with Wesley and not with his family. I still had a soft spot or two for Greg and Melissa, probably always would. Wesley, on the other hand, could just take a long walk off a short pier.
My mother had been pining over this sketchbook since before the attack, but this was the first time that she had allowed me to see the pages. Apparently, Mrs. Jensen was one Hell of an artist. Her drawings were amazingly detailed and looked almost lifelike. I was amazed at the images my mother showed me.
My mother said nothing as I thumbed through the pages. There were drawings of Melissa and Wesley, even a few of Miranda near the beginning. Then things started getting darker. There was even one of Miranda with a knife poised over Wesley’s bed.
Wait, were those fangs?
It was almost like she had been caught in mid-movement just before she hurt him.
There were several more disturbing pictures of Miranda, too. She had a sinister smile on her face as she perched over Wesley, then Melissa, and finally Greg. In each image it looked like she was taking something from them. It looked like smoke in the drawings, but I had a feeling it was bits and pieces of their souls.
What had Greta seen in their old home?
It was almost as if she had drawn exactly what she had walked in on, as if the image had been ingrained in her memory. Suddenly the pictures went wild. There were images of my mother and father holding hands. Then several drawings of my mother holding a newborn. Finally, there was a sketch of me. My eyes were blacked out and my hair hung in waves around my face.
How could this woman have known what I was? How could she even have known what I looked like?
I mean, there was no way for her to know what I looked like as she had never seen me. I flipped to the back of the book and instantly threw it to the ground like it was on fire.
“What is this, Mom?” I asked, my voice trembling. I felt like I had just seen my future.
“She saw something. I’m assuming it has to do with this girl.” She picked up the book and turned to the first page, which had a picture of Miranda drawn on it. “This being must have been feeding on her family. She witnessed it on several different occasions. Isn’t this the girl we saw in the woods, the girl who was after Wesley?” She flipped to multiple pages pointing to each instance. “Greta was always special. She could see things. I thought it was human superstition, but the fact that she has you drawn toward the end of the book tells me that she was far more than just human. I think she was a harbinger.” She looked up at me.
“You mean, like a psychic?” I guessed.
“Something like that.” She sighed. “Remember when I told you that she once told me that our children were destined to be together but there would be a force stronger than their love that would keep them apart?” She opened the book at an older image of a girl with no face. Her hair was white and she was dressed in elegant clothing. “I don’t know if this is you or someone else, Dawn. All I know is that she saw you and she saw me. She knew we would find her family again. However, this girl… is she the one that you saw Wesley with?”
I nodded. “Yeah, that’s her.” My throat felt dry.
“Well, it looks like we have a vampire on our hands.” My mother frowned. “I hate dealing with vampires. They are cruel, unfeeling creatures.”
“If she’s a vampire, then how is she able to walk around in daylight?” I asked, thinking of all the stories I had read about how vampires could only come out at night.
“Oh, she’s not just any ordinary vampire, I’m sure,” my mother replied with a half-smile. “I have a feeling there is some demon blood in her veins. Ancient blood, I’m sure. She has latched herself on to Wesley. There must be some tasty emotions running through his body if she’s so unwilling to let him go.” She sighed again. “Usually, once their subject starts to wander away from them they let go and seduce another victim. This one, though… she’s persistent. She may actually feel that she loves him; that she needs him.” She looked at me. “Remember that vampire you killed several months back?”
I nodded.
“That was your run-of-the-mill normal vampire. She could feed on anything that has blood, but she was not strong enough for much else beyond just walking the earth. This one”—she pointed again at the book—“this one is special. She has age and presence; otherwise, she wouldn’t be able to get in your head. Hence why I think she must have demon blood in her veins. She knows your plans and plays you like a pawn. Each time she appears she is studying you. That is why the next time it is harder to beat her and you have to use your wits.” She looked sadly at the drawings once more.
“What are you saying, Mom?”
“She’s feeding on him again while also using him as bait so she can study you.” She put her head in her hands and started rubbing her temples. “You’re not ready for this battle, Dawn. You need your dad for this one.”
“Why?”
“Your father deals with this kind of thing. He would be the most knowledgeable in this area. I could try to tell you how a demon strikes down another demon, but I don’t really know.”
I made a disbelieving face at her.
“Dawn, you have my blood in your veins as well, but right now you are more your father than you are me. That softness that you used to have is gone. You are just a shell of what you once were. I blame Wesley and this girl for that. If you face off with this damned being now she could kill you. She could make your attacker at Christmas seem like a kitty cat compared to what she could do to you. Do not engage her now, because she doesn’t know what you are yet. She is still testing.”
I nodded my consent.
“I assume that is what she did with Greta,” my mother speculated. “She tested her until she killed her. Drove her mad, I’m sure.” She groaned. “Greta saw what this girl was doing to her family and tried to fight back but lost her life in the process. If Greta was right, you and Wesley will find your way back to each other. I have a feeling there is a long, painful road ahead of you two.”
She reached over and took my hand as pain pulsed once more through my body.
***
So I finally had my answers. I knew what had killed Greta Jensen. I knew that Miranda, in her sinister plot to control Wesley, had murdered his mother. Maybe she had seen too much and Miranda had found it necessary to get rid of the threat. It didn’t matter in the long run; he was still with her. In my eyes, he had made his decision the day after he left the school. Maybe it was the rumors that had got to him. What if he had actually believed what the other students were saying?
I would have liked to question him concerning the images. I had a feeling that he had never seen them. If he did, he might think twice about what had happened between them.
Oh, why did I care so much?
News of our break-up got around the school quickly. Then again, what did I expect? Some of the supposed reasons for it were extremely far-fetched. There was even a rumor going around that I was pregnant. T
hat one made me laugh.
When the weeks turned into a month I found myself feeling better. I knew that I still loved Wesley, but I just couldn’t see myself with him anymore. Did that mean that I was finally getting over the pain?
“I feel bad for her,” I heard one girl say in the hallway.
“Why?” asked the boy she was talking to.
“Nobody deserves to have their heart broken. Just look at her. She just seems so shattered.” The girl was looking at me with kind, sorrowful eyes.
“She should have known it would happen,” I heard the boy reply. “That guy is a loser.”
That guy is a loser. That was one thing that I wanted to agree with, but I knew it wasn’t true. I carried on to my choir class. At least the day was almost over.
“Hey, Weathers,” said Adam as he bounced up alongside me.
“Hey.”
“What’s going on tonight after school?”
“Nothing. As usual.”
“Okay… So, I’m just going out on a limb here, but how about if I come over so we can talk? I’m tired of seeing you moping around.” He grinned at me.
“If you say so.” I tried to smile back, but it came out twisted.
“Yeah, I say so.”
***
“So it’s really over, is it?” Adam asked me when we met after school.
“Would appear so,” I said, shrugging.
Since I didn’t have any close female friends and Nadine lived in another town, Adam was only person who had offered to take on the role of my rock. He had been there from the first phone call. He had walked me to class, which I appreciated as it meant that Wesley would be dissuaded from attempting to speak to me. He had even started picking me up in the morning because I was finding it hard to find the motivation to get out of bed. A few mornings he even went so far as to help me get dressed. He was my rock and I was a stone, with no feeling and no emotions. I lacked the motivation to do the smallest thing. Adam was the only thing that kept me rooted. Otherwise I would have just laid there and blended in with my sheets until the end of time.
Wesley had made no attempt to approach me. He had even stopped making eye contact with me around school. So as far as I was concerned, that was his goodbye. I wasn’t saying my mother was wrong, but maybe she was just misinformed. I knew that sooner or later I would have to talk to him, however. Our lives were too intertwined to ignore him for life. But I just couldn’t see a future with him anymore. Nothing screamed that I had to have him when I did steal the odd glance in his direction. He was Miranda’s, for now. Even if I no longer wanted him, I still wanted to destroy her. The thing was, it all felt like an elaborately fabricated lie. A little voice in the back of my head still told me I longed for him.
“So this girl you caught him with is his ex?” Adam asked. I could see that he was fighting a smile.
Adam had never thought that it would work with Wesley. This was pretty much his way of saying “I told you so,” but I didn’t care. It was over. I wasn’t going to stick around when it was obvious that he was not meant to be with me.
“Yeah, she’s a sophomore at STU, or whatever it’s called.”
I leaned back and propped my head against the wall. This was the first time we had talked about the break-up and, while uncomfortable, it was nice to just finally be able to say that it was over.
“Well, if it’s over, shouldn’t you take off the ring?” he asked, pointing.
I looked down at my right hand. I had totally forgotten all about the promise ring Wesley had put on my finger. I felt a slight flutter in my heart followed by an instant hardness as I yanked the ring from my finger and tossed it at my dresser. With a hollow clink it found a new home near the mirror. I would give it back to him later, when the sight of him didn’t make my stomach crawl.
Adam scowled. “This is exactly why I’m not going to fall in love in high school. I don’t know how many times Nadine has tried to trap me with those three words. First, I don’t feel that way for her. I mean, I care deeply for her and want her to be happy, but I don’t see wedding bells in our future.” He sighed. “You tried it and now you are just so broken. I cannot imagine having to cope with everything that must be going through your head.”
“It’s not so bad,” I said, trying to reassure him. “I mean, once you get past the initial nausea and the loss it is really quite comforting. Makes you realize that we are just too young to know what love is.” I gave him a weak smile. “Guard your heart with your life, Adam. I would hate to have to murder the first girl that breaks it.”
“I can just imagine how that will work: ‘Hey, you broke my heart so now you must die by my super-scary best friend who will kill you with a flick of her wrist.’” He laughed. It was nice to see that he thought it so amusing.
“You have no idea how easy that would be,” I muttered, more to myself than to him.
Wait, did he just call me his best friend?
I warmed for a second to the thought of having a best friend. I hadn’t been close to anyone since leaving Texas.
“Well, at least you have no relationship problems to worry about,” Adam told me. “I think I told you that I don’t plan on giving myself completely to anyone until I find the woman I’m going to marry. And that’s the other thing: Nadine wants me to.” He started picking at the bedspread. “She wants to actually do it. I have a strict not-until-marriage policy, so I don’t see that ever happening.” He laughed self-consciously.
“Your morals tell you not to, right? Adam, I respect that about you. Don’t let some stupid girl make you break them. Keep to them. Trust me, you’re not missing out on anything.”
This was a conversation I didn’t really want to have. The last thing I wanted to talk about was taking someone’s innocence. It would only make me think of what I’d done to Wesley. I no longer felt the guilt that keenly, but it wasn’t something that I wanted to think about, let alone discuss with Adam.
“I think I’m going to break up with her,” he said suddenly.
I whistled. “Wasn’t expecting that one.” I looked at him. “She’s a nice girl. But if you feel that you’re not compatible then I suppose it would be smart to let her go before you wind up just stringing her along because you don’t want to hurt her.”
***
On Friday, after my last class, the oddest thing happened. I was standing at my locker putting books in my bag for the weekend’s homework when one of the boys from my calculus class walked up to me. I had no idea what his name was, but he was friendly enough. I looked at him, wondering what he wanted. He wasn’t a bad-looking boy I realized. He had spiky blonde hair, blue eyes, and was relatively short compared to the boys I had dated in the past, maybe five eight. He was wearing a black vintage Deftones hoodie, so I respected his taste in music, that was for sure.
“Are you lost?” I asked coolly.
He was just standing there, staring at me. If he had something to say he should have said it by now.
“Naw, just not quite sure how to talk to you,” he said, stuffing his hands in his hoodie pockets.
“That’s always comforting. Well, what can I do for you?” I shut the locker and turned to face him.
“I heard you and Wesley broke up.”
Really? That’s what he had to say?
I rolled my eyes and slung my bag over my shoulder before proceeding to go past him. He reached out and held my arm gently.
“I’d like to take you out this weekend.”
He said it with such confidence that I had to admire his bravado. I hesitated, then nodded and reached for my phone.
“Give me your number. Make sure to put your name in there.” I handed him my phone and he typed the information into my contacts list. Once he had handed it back I gave him a tired smile. “I’ll send you a message later. I’m Dawn, by the way.” I held out my hand.
“Aaron.”
He took my hand and gave me a nice smile. I raised the corners of
my mouth a little but it took a lot more to get a real smile out of me than it used to. Once he had let my arm go I headed on out toward the parking lot. Adam had choir practice after school so wouldn’t be coming round.
I was looking at the ground, minding my own business, when I smacked face first into a familiar chest. I looked up and glared into the stupid blue eyes staring back at me. Wesley. I went to step around him but he blocked my path. I huffed and took a step back.
“What do you want?” I asked impatiently.
“I want to talk to you.”
“I think you gave up that right when you decided to mess around with that skank.” I tried to go around him again but he just kept blocking me.
“You took off your ring.” He reached for my hand but I stepped back and gave him a warning growl.
“Yup. I’ll get it back to you when I remember to bring it with me.”
“So you made up your mind then. It’s really over?” His voice cracked a little.
“Oh, Wesley. It’s been over since you decided to be with her instead of me. When was the last time you saw her?” I didn’t really want to know, so I decided to answer for him. “Let me guess. This morning when you got up out of bed.” He looked around guiltily. I had been right. My God, was I ever going to be wrong? For once being wrong would feel amazing. “Jesus, Wes!”
“It’s not like that, Dawn.”
I stared at him. There was no way he would be able to justify this.
“Then what is it like? I find you in the arms of another woman. You continue to see said other woman. I’m done feeling guilty for everything. Take your apologies and excuses and go home to her.” I pushed past him and started walking away.
“I still love you, Dawn!” he yelled after me.
“Prove it!” I yelled back.
When I got into my car I threw my bag onto the passenger seat and stared out the windshield for a good ten minutes before pulling my phone from my pocket and opening a text message.
Me: Aaron when did you want to go out?
I felt my heart harden as I tossed my phone into the cup holder and pulled out of the parking lot. If it was okay for Wesley to see other people then it was perfectly acceptable for me to as well. I would crush him the way that he had crushed me.
The Wardens Boxed Set Page 18
