“Will you ever love anyone again?” I questioned.
“I have mates but I do not know love.” He frowned.
“What are you?” I asked, hoping this time I would get an answer.
“I am an Incubus.” He looked at me. “I appear as someone wishes me to be. I can be their long-lost lover, their spouse, a dream.”
“Wow,” I said, smiling. “I guess then you were what I wanted.”
“Well, I sort of fall into the long-lost lover category,” he said, laughing.
Chapter Fourteen: What Just Happened?
I had fallen back asleep at some point and when I woke up Aaron was gone. I found myself wondering if he was even there in the first place. Nothing had happened between us, we had just talked. I didn’t quite understand how he was brought into the world as an Incubus. Then again, I didn’t know much about them in the first place. I rolled out of bed and stretched. I felt amazingly refreshed.
I fixed my messy ponytail and walked out into the living room. Shawn was snoring loudly on the couch and Adam’s door was still shut. It did make me wonder how long he was going to be able to do what he had been doing. Sooner or later he was going to have to decide what he wanted.
I wandered into the kitchen and opened the fridge, pulling out a bottle of orange juice. I was opening it when a glint of white caught the corner of my eye. There was an envelope tossed under the front door. I walked over and reached down, taking the white paper in my hands. It had my name written across the front in beautiful calligraphy.
Dawn,
Oh, my dearest Dawn. I do apologize that I could not make it to see you yesterday morning. They felt it best that I stay behind. They fear that if I see you my loyalties will change. They are probably right after all. The world is so much greener on the other side. I can see more color, feel more emotion, and can touch things that were once untouchable.
Please stay protected. Just because I am stuck working with this monster and her progeny it is not by choice. You said you would save me months ago and I have finally quit holding out for such a miracle. You are no longer bound to me so you are no longer required to save me from anything that can cause me harm.
She’s always in my head! I tell you it is quite impressive. A Reaper came to me the other night claiming that he knew you. I wanted so much to touch him. I am of no use if I am dead, after all. He refused to give me this wish and instead told me a secret. It is trapped so far behind the visions he said that it would take effect once I knew the time was right. He asked me to write you a message to tell you that I am still here, not quite alive anymore, but here.
I dream of you each night. Your face has become my own worst nightmare and each morning you are torn away. Please know that I am doing my best to stop the advances of the Army. However, the dreams of war are often in my head. If we were face-to-face I would expect you to end me, Dawn. I find it amazing what I became; it is not something that I wanted.
If you must send messages please do so by the Reaper. For some reason, he can come straight to me as if he knows that I am or … Well, that I have died.
With all my heart,
Wesley
***
I threw the door open and raced into the hallway. Maybe he was still here. Maybe I could catch him. I sprinted to the elevator when I heard the voice in my head.
I have not left you, Fire Warden. Peter’s voice sounded sweet.
“Oh Peter!” I felt the tears coming to my eyes and I longed to hug him.
I know you are torn, young Warden. I know that your heart breaks in three directions. He is good, he is lonely, and he is well guarded. Peter pulled his hood from his head so that I could see his face. Though some might find his facade to be quite disturbing, I found a beauty to it unlike any other. There was something about the crisscross shape of the sewn x’s on his face. They were so intricate, shockingly you could see his lips were not sealed underneath.
“You have no idea what this means. I have been wondering what had become of him since I last saw him. How did you get in?” I asked, getting as close as I could to him. I wasn’t sure what a Reaper’s touch could do to a Warden since we are not actually human, but I was not daring enough to find out.
He looked at the ground. His soul called as he died. Her Claim, white it was there, was not strong. I felt the pull. When I saw him, I knew who he was by the images in your head. The blue-eyed boy with the brown hair. Since I was already able to pinpoint him I pretty much remembered where I found him. When I had learned that the redhead’s right-hand was here I wanted to speak with Wesley while they were not looking. So you know, any message you need to relay to him you let me know and I will send it to him. Keep it related to things that do not divulge location or battle plans. I’m sure he is remaining true to you but he could flip either way.
“Can you tell him that I’m still here and I’m still trying?” I said. My heart fluttered. “Tell him that I’m doing my best, there are just forces far stronger than the two of us right now.”
“I will tell him that. If you ever need me, just call.” He disappeared into a fog and I was alone in the hallway of my apartment building looking in the direction of where he was once standing.
***
“So he’s still trying to keep the war from happening.” Shawn put the letter down and looked up at me. His eyes were still caked with sleep since I had pounced on him the moment that I came back through the door.
“I think so. It also gives the hint that he feels as if I have forgotten him,” I sighed. “I didn’t know everything that was going to come with saving him. John said that he is heavily guarded and even with one hundred of our best fighters they would not get through the first layer of protection they have on him.”
“There are quite a few factors in place when it comes to Wesley. Dad has been working nonstop trying to come up with a solution. If summoning him to us would get us anywhere we would do it. However, even with all the power we do have, none of us could muster the strength to summon either Lilly or her mother. Our only bet is a fight on the battlefield.” Shawn blinked and rubbed his eyes.
“I had a dream about the battlefield.” I looked at him and smirked. I had yet to tell anyone of the dream that I had.
“Do tell.” He looked at me with an intense look on his face.
I told him every bit of the dream. Every stinking second of it from the start to the end when I was pulled from my sleep. I didn’t know what to think of the face-off between me and Miranda.
“If I didn’t know any better I would think you had a vision. Either that, or you had a dream that you wish would come true.” He cracked his knuckles. “I am not the right person to dig into someone’s dreams. That is something you will have to discuss with Mara or one of the other nightmare demons.”
“That’s what I figured,” I groaned. Adam and Rose had yet to come out into the living room. It was nearing eleven and both of them were still sleeping, or at least one could assume sleeping.
“How was last night with Aaron?” he asked with one of his remarkable subject changes.
“It was good. I think I need more information on the Incubi. It just seems a little messed up that this is what he became.” I rolled my eyes.
“There is nothing wrong with an Incubus. They make dreams come true for so many.” Shawn smiled at me.
“But he has to do all those things,” I shivered.
“No he doesn’t. He doesn’t actually lie with them! He’s not the actual Incubus. He’s like an apprentice, he messes with people’s dreams and ambitions.” Shawn shook his head. “He’s a dream manipulator at most. He will never know love that was true, he will only know lust. However, he can live quite happily in this world without ever having to actually do what the Incubi do.”
“Well that makes me feel a little better,” I said.
“Yeah, if he was one of them you would never have seen his face,” Shawn smiled. “He didn’t lie. He no longer has a so
ul. He can feel what he felt for you in his sleep only; when he wakes up you are no longer on his mind.”
“Is it true that he can only remember me because I’m not human?” I asked.
“That one I don’t know. I’ve been around for a long time but I do not know everything.” He touched my knee. “Just be happy he knows. Be happy they all know what you are. It makes things easier.”
I nodded and tried to smile. I heard voices in Adam’s room, meaning that they had just woken up. It took another hour though before they actually left the sanctuary of his room. Rose’s hair was pulled back, her gauges in her ears more noticeable now than they had been when I first met her. She had no makeup on her face but still had an amazing beauty.
Rose looked up and smiled at me. Her eyes were bright and extremely green. Adam walked out fully dressed. The moment his eyes met mine they darted back across the room. Shawn shifted uncomfortably and squeezed my hand. What was I supposed to think of that?
“Coffee?” Rose asked me sweetly. I looked at her blankly then pointed toward the kitchen. She nodded and walked away, leaving me and Shawn with a very nervous Adam.
“You didn’t!” I seethed. It was the only thing I could think of to make Shawn twitch.
“No,” he whispered, sitting down in the chair as far away from me as he could get. Shawn looked at me and nodded, telling me it was the truth.
“Then what?” I whispered, hoping that Rose couldn’t hear me in the kitchen.
“I let her do … things.” He raised his eyebrows and Shawn frowned.
“Let her do what things?” I whimpered. He had told me he was thinking about things, not that he was thinking about doing things.
“Just things.” His eyes widened, telling me that now was not the time to discuss what had happened.
Shawn leaned over and whispered in my ear. “Let’s just say it’s things that you have never done.” I nearly vomited. “No worries, he is still pure. If you want to get technical.”
I looked at Adam and frowned. I was disappointed in him for doing anything with anyone. It wasn’t jealousy that I was feeling for not having been the one he did it with. It was that now he was tainted by her. She had done things that I had never tried or even thought of. I cannot even put into words the grotesque things that came to mind when I thought about what had gone on behind those doors.
“You couldn’t tell me this morning what was going on?” I elbowed my brother.
“I turned off the link to Adam when Aaron showed up last night,” Shawn said, looking like he had been punched in the gut.
“Wait—Aaron was here? And here I was worried about you and how you felt. Was it as great as prom night?” He was pissed, almost as pissed as I was about Rose.
“Actually, no. We talked all night about all the things that he had seen since changing. We talked about the lack of emotion and the fact that he will never know what love feels like again,” I growled. “I was in no way in my room doing lord knows what unspeakable acts.”
“Well that’s a first.” It hurt. I will admit it tore through me like a knife.
“Really?” My face burned.
“I didn’t mean it that way, Dawn.” He suddenly looked sorry.
“No, it’s OK, I think you did.” I looked at a wide-eyed Shawn. What was going on between Adam and me? Ever since I kissed him it seemed like we were being hit hard with fits of jealousy. Did this mean that we were not meant to be?
“It’s OK, Dawn. He didn’t mean it that way,” Shawn said soothingly. I didn’t believe him. I got up and walked back into my room slamming the door behind me.
I could count on one hand how many boys I had been with. Yes, Aaron and Wesley were extremely close together. No, I was not proud of that. It was just how it happened. I couldn’t control what my destiny had in front of me. I couldn’t control what my blood wanted me to do. When it wanted to claim a soul, it went out of its way to make sure that I did.
I had been lying on my bed for about ten minutes, thinking, when I heard the door open. I rolled over and looked at a very sad-faced Adam. He walked toward me and took a seat on the bed next to me.
“I didn’t mean for it to happen,” he said, touching my shoulder. I pulled away from him. “I wish you would believe me, Dawn. I had no intention of ever touching her.”
“But you did!” I groaned, rolling onto my back and putting my hands to my face.
“You really didn’t do anything with Aaron when he was here?” he asked me as if he hadn’t believed me the first time I said nothing had gone on.
“NO.” I looked at him, hurt in my eyes. “We talked. I miss him, yes. I miss the connection we had but there is nothing there anymore. The way he looks at me isn’t the same as he used to.”
“I believe you.” He looked away from me for a second. “I was dreaming of you when she kissed me. It wasn’t until she was kissing my stomach that I realized that it wasn’t you.”
“That’s not helping,” I groaned.
“I don’t expect it to.” He sighed. “… I think I need to let it pan out with Rose.”
“You have something with her that you don’t have with me that is for sure,” I said, feeling my heart laughing at me. How could I have been so stupid as to think that this would work?
“Do you not think that I desire you?” he said. “Do you not think that I don’t want to touch you and hold you and know what you feel like?”
“I don’t know what you think. I cannot get into your head like my brother can.” My eyes were slits and I could feel the tears rising.
“Dawn, you have been my little wet dream since I met you. Hell, even before I met you.” He reached out and touched my arm, forcing me to look at him.
“But you find that you must do these things with another girl? Not that I would be OK with you going against morals in the first place. I have always respected your wishes,” I said, my voice faltering. Oh God I was about to cry.
“I’m sorry.” He blinked like he was holding back tears himself.
“It’s probably for the best. We should just go back to the way we were before all of this. I am cursed anyway. I would hate for you to become a hybrid of some sort and find you belong with the Queen’s Army like Wesley.” Oh, how it hurt to say that.
“We can’t go back to what we were, Dawn. I have tasted your lips, felt your heartbeat. I have vowed to protect you at all costs.” He touched my face. “However, with everything that is going on, taking a step backward may not be such a bad idea. Now that we know Wesley is alive.”
I coughed. “I wouldn’t say he was alive.”
“Whatever, Dawn. He’s still holding out for you. He still loves you; you haunt his dreams.” He sighed. “As much as I hate saying it, Wesley is your match.”
“I cannot be with him! Why can’t I get people to understand that? If he touches me wrong, or I burst into flames, I will kill him.” I had to think for a second. “Assuming that he is a vampire, I should say.”
“Are we good?” he asked me, a longing look on his face.
“Yeah. I will be OK,” I lied. I wasn’t going to be OK. The one person who I had chosen on my own had decided to be with another Warden and not with me. He was supposed to be with me, not with her! I felt the anger for a second and then it dissipated and fell in line with the other voids in my heart. I was destined to walk this world alone forever.
“Dawn?” my brother called from the living room. “Just talked to Dad. We head home in two days.”
“OK,” I replied, and smiled at Adam. I was going to miss his kisses.
Chapter Fifteen: Homecoming
“Dawn!” My mother called the moment my feet hit the sidewalk. I had never seen her so happy to see me before in my life.
“Mom,” I acknowledged, putting my bag down so that I could hug her better.
“Oh, how I have missed you.” She squeezed me so tight I found it hard to breathe. “We have been so busy since you have been gone. Y
our father had the barn completed and we moved as many as we could into the facilities. We are going to have to build another! Can you believe that?” She was overly excited.
“Yes, another one,” my father groaned, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around the both of us. “I have both my girls back in once place.” I raised an eyebrow at him and he shook his head.
“That’s great!” I heard the footsteps of the other three behind me and I pulled away from my parents to do the introductions.
“Mom. Dad. This is Rose,” I said, pulling the redhead toward us. She was nervous meeting my parents. Hell, she had been so nervous about leaving Dallas. It took me two days to even convince her to come along.
“Oh my.” My mother said, grabbing the girl’s hands. “She’s a beauty, isn’t she?” Rose blushed as my mother doted on her.
“She’s going to take some work. She hasn’t really used what she has.” I looked at my dad. “Nobody told her till last year what she was.”
“How old are you, dear?” my mother asked.
“I’m 23,” she answered, rubbing her arms.
“Oh dear,” my mother said, putting her hand over her mouth. “No worries, it will all come to you. Your blood will remember.”
Rose gave my mother a weak smile as Adam came around and put his hands on her waist. My mother raised an eyebrow and looked at me, her lips thinning. I had a feeling I was about to have a question and answer session with my mother in the study.
“Ms. Peterson, I will show Rose to her room,” Adam said, grabbing Rose’s bags along with his and leading her inside the manor.
“What is going on?” my mother demanded, her lips pursed.
“She and Adam hit it off.” I shrugged. They hadn’t known what was going on in the first place. How could they be upset?
“I can tell that. However, he was vowed to you.” My mother looked at my dad like their plan hadn’t worked.
“What are you talking about?” I asked softly. I didn’t understand what they were saying.
“He is your Protector, not Rose’s,” my father corrected, looking toward the skies. “Leave it to an angel to get it wrong.”
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