by T. O. Smith
"Hey." She greeted me when I stepped through the kitchen door. "Too much testosterone?" She asked as she slid a large, casserole dish into the oven.
I shrugged. "No, not really. I just don't really know anyone besides you and Thor, so it's kind of awkward for me." I sheepishly admitted.
Trixie laughed softly. "Yeah, I guess I can understand that." She told me as she turned to face me, leaning her hip against the counter. "But those guys out there? They're honestly the nicest men I've ever known. And they will fight to protect those they care about."
"I can see that," I told her honestly. And I really could. The environment – it was nothing like I had ever experienced before.
Trixie gave a small, knowing smile. "Thor got you feeling shit that you don't want to feel?" She asked me.
I gaped at her, not understanding how she knew that so easily. Thor was sweet and protective, and he didn't seem to give a fuck about my weight. Sure, he was a bit rough around the edges, but I felt safe, secure, and cared about with him.
And that scared me. I wasn’t sure how to handle that – how to feel. It seemed too easy – too fast.
"How did you -"
"Know?" Trixie asked, finishing my sentence. I nodded. "I've been in your shoes before, Lex." She informed me. I frowned. "Alex and I were still pretty young when we were together, and though both of us knew back then that we would be perfect together, we refused to make anything between us permanent. I was pregnant when he left for basic training, and I never told him." I stared at her incredulously. How could you not tell someone that you’re having their baby? "When he came back home, I was terrified to put every bit of my trust in him, but Alex has a way of helping me that no one else does." A soft smile tilted her lips as she thought about her husband. “He crawls down into the darkness with me and leads me back out.”
She drew in a slow, deep breath as if to steady herself. "I suffer from bipolar depression. I take meds for it every day, and when I had our first daughter, I fell sick with postpartum psychosis.” My heart ached for her. She always appeared so strong, but she had obviously come a long way to be as strong as she was now. “I lost custody of my daughter because of it. But Alex came back home, and he took everything into his own hands, refusing to let me feel bad. To this day, he still keeps me strong. It's terrifying to rely on anyone this much, but not a single man in this club will let you down – especially not Thor. At heart, he's just a sweet teddy bear."
Alex stepped into the kitchen, his hard expression softening as his eyes landed in his wife. "Hi, baby." He greeted as he strode towards her, wrapping his arms around her. She immediately smiled up at him, her eyes brightening. "You okay?"
She nodded. "I'll be just fine." She assured him.
He tilted her chin up so her eyes locked on his. "That's not what I asked, baby girl."
She sighed softly. "It's been kind of a rough day." She told him honestly, but her eyes still shined for him.
I couldn't rip my eyes from them as he grabbed her hand and placed it over the center of his chest. "I'm always your strength if you need it, baby. Don't ever forget that." He told her softly, leaning down to gently kiss her.
"Jesus Christ, take it to the bedroom." Thor scoffed as he entered the kitchen.
Trixie blushed as Alex glared at Thor. "Maybe you two should." Alex snapped at him, not releasing his hold on Trixie's hand as she tried to pull it back. "The sexual tension between you two just about makes me sick."
I blushed as I stared down at the floor. "Watch yourself, brother," Thor growled. "Lex isn't that kind of woman."
"Never said she was." Alex retorted. "You're the one putting her into that context, Thor – not me."
Thor wrapped his muscular arm around my waist and tugged me into his arms as he glared at his VP over my head. "Drop it, you two." Trixie snapped. "Or take your drama out of my kitchen. I'm trying to cook."
"Ah, Trix, you didn't have to cook," Thor said.
"Well, I couldn't let the lot of you starve, and I refuse to let you all feed Lex ramen noodles for dinner." She retorted. Thor snorted.
I bit my lip, staying silent, knowing I had no plans to eat anyways. Almost as if he read my mind, Thor grabbed my face in his large hands, forcing my eyes up to his. "You will eat." He told me quietly, his eyes boring into my own.
"Thor," I said quietly, warning him not to talk about this here – not with other people present.
Silently, he reached down and grabbed my hand in his, leading me out of the kitchen. He bypassed everyone and headed straight for the stairs until we were in the room that I would be staying in.
He waited until the door was firmly shut behind us before he spoke. "Lex, this isn't up for discussion." He told me. I sighed. I was tired, and I didn’t want to have this damn discussion with him. It was my body – my choice. "You need to eat, sweetheart. You're not far - you're thick – and honestly, your size is perfect."
"No other club woman here looks like me." I snapped at him. Believe me, I had looked. Trixie was the biggest out of every woman I had met so far, and even then, she wasn’t as big as me. She was a hundred and forty pounds at most.
Thor scoffed. "I beg to differ." He stated. I arched an eyebrow at him. "Ink's old lady Reina has gained weight, and Ink loves her all the same – man can't even keep his damn hands off of her half of the time. Nobody here gives a fuck about your weight, Lex. I certainly don't."
"Why can't you just respect my decisions?" I snapped at him.
"I will when they make sense to me. You want to lose weight? Fine – cool. You can lose weight; hell, I'll even help you. But you won't lose weight by starving yourself."
"My body, my choice." I snarled.
"Tough." Thor snapped at me. "I care about you, Lex,” my heart swelled in my chest despite my anger, “and starving yourself will only harm you. I won't stand by and allow you to do this to yourself."
With that, he turned towards the door, ready to leave, but in a split-second decision, I took my shoe off and threw it at him. Granted, I of course missed, but that didn't matter.
Thor slowly turned around, turning his thunderous gaze on me. I swallowed nervously as he locked the door. My heart began to rapidly beat in my chest, the sound of my heartbeat thundering in my ears.
"You've done it now, woman." He said quietly as he strode towards me.
Oh, fuck.
I gripped Lex by her upper arms and hauled her body against mine as I lowered my lips to hers, kissing her in a way that assaulted every single one of my senses and almost destroyed my soul.
All I could feel, breathe, taste – fucking think about – was her. Everything inside of me felt like it was replaced by everything Lex.
I ran my calloused hands under her shirt, sliding them over her soft curves. She moaned softly against my lips, and I dove deeper into the kiss, taking from her everything that she was willing to give me, and yet, still giving her so much of myself as well.
"Thor!" Grim roared from downstairs, ripping me from my Lex-induced haze.
I growled softly as I tightened my hold on her, slowly pulling back from her. Her lips were swollen and red, her eyes darkened with lust.
She was fucking beautiful. How the fuck could she think she was anything but?
"Thor, get your ass down here!" Grim barked.
"Fucking hell." I cursed as I stared down at Lex who was watching me, waiting for my next move. "Damn it, woman, I don't want to leave you – not like this," I grumbled, reaching up to cup the back of her neck. I wanted to stay, to bury myself deep inside of her, to show her just how goddamn perfect and beautiful she was.
"Your president needs you." She said quietly.
"Fuck Grim." I snarled as I pulled her lips back to mine.
"Thor, if I don't hear you coming down those steps by the time I get to five, I will kick your ass, brother!"
"Jesus Christ!" I bellowed as I pulled back from Lex completely and stormed towards the door, throwing it open in my rage. "Cut back on the babysit
ting gigs, Grim!" I shouted down the stairs. "I'm not Alexandra and Storm!"
A round of laughter rang out downstairs at my words. I turned to look at Lex. "Come here," I called softly, holding my hand out to her.
Silently, she strode towards me and trustingly placed her hand in mine, allowing me to pull her against me. "I'll finish this later," I promised her.
She blushed, and I grinned, loving the effect that I had on her. She was definitely a nice change from all the club hang arounds. Lex was old lady potential.
I led her downstairs and left her in the care of Trixie as I walked into the chapel, taking my seat at the table. Grim glowered at me. "About damn time." He commented.
I shrugged. "I was dealing with something," I informed him.
Alex barked out a laugh as Grim slammed the gavel on the table, bringing the meeting to order. "We've got an issue." He stated. "The Burning Devils set fire to the bar."
"Jesus fucking Christ!" Alex roared as he jumped up from his seat, sending his chair rolling back into the wall with a loud bang.
"Be calm, Alex," Grim told his VP as he stood up as well.
"Trixie could have been in there." Alex snarled, his body shaking with rage. All of us were on our feet, ready to keep our VP from destroying something. When it came to Trixie, Alex would destroy anyone and anything in his fucking path.
"I'm well aware of that, Alex, but losing your cool right now will do more harm than good. Be calm, brother."
With a clenched jaw and a forced calm that I knew he wasn’t feeling, Alex grabbed his chair and sat back down at the table, his eyes holding a thousand promises of pain.
"How much damage?" I asked when Grim was seated again.
"Just the front of the bar." He informed us. "Should be easy to repair – be back up in business within a couple of weeks. But for right now, Trixie and Lex need to be at this clubhouse where they can be protected. Same with your little girls, Alex." Grim said. Alex clenched his jaw. Grim sighed. “Brother, I know you don’t like putting your family here at the clubhouse and uprooting Trixie like this, but if they’re not afraid to target her bar, then they’re not afraid to target your home either.” Alex stiffy nodded, clenching his jaw.
"What's our next step?" Hatchet demanded to know. "We're clean now, Prez. We've been clean for months. Our hands are fucking tied right now."
"Nah, fuck that." I snapped. Every man at that table looked at me. "Fuck being clean. I'm getting my goddamn hands dirty with this one. They're not rolling up here in Hope thinking they can not only fuck with Lex but fuck with our business – put Trixie's life on the fucking line – and ride the fuck back out."
"Thor, this needs to be a club decision." Grim calmly reminded me.
"Fuck a club decision." I snarled at my president. "I'm doing this with or without this club's backing."
"Hate to say it, brother, but I'm with Thor on this one," Alex told Grim. "I could have lost my wife today if I hadn't asked her to come here to make Lex comfortable. My kids could have been left without a mother. I want blood."
Grim sighed as he looked around the table at each of us silently. "Fine." He grunted. "Let's call a vote. All in favor, raise your hand and say aye."
Everyone sitting at that table raised their hand. Grim nodded, slamming his gavel on the table. "Alright. Alex and I will discuss a plan, and I'll let everyone know when to meet for church to discuss it. Until then, church is dismissed. Ride home safely." He ordered.
Alex was the first one out of the room with me hot on his heels. He instantly strode over to Trixie and drew her into his arms. I sat beside Lex at the bar and placed my hand silently over hers, knowing that Alex was about to break the news to Trixie about the bar and Lex would be able to overhear.
"Baby, I need to tell you something," Alex said softly as he grabbed her hand, placing it over his heart. Her eyebrows pulled together, a questioning look crossing her features as she turned her attention to him. "The Burning Devils set fire to the bar. No one was hurt, but the front of the bar got damaged."
"Oh, God." Lex choked out, her hand coming up to cover her mouth as her eyes swam with tears. "Trixie, I'm so sorry that I caused this."
I stood up and wrapped my arms around Lex, holding her head to my chest as I buried my lips into her hair, holding her tightly. "Lex, it's okay," Trixie told her quietly.
"It's not okay." She cried. "I've brought all this shit here to town."
"Sweetheart, look at me," I commanded gently. She brought her tear-filled eyes up to mine. I cupped her cheeks in my hands, brushing my thumbs over her cheeks. "I'm glad you ran here. You know why? Because we can protect you, sweetheart. And everyone in this room will do whatever is necessary to keep your safe."
"It shouldn't have to be this way." She whimpered. Fuck, she looked so torn – so heartbroken. She looked full of regret and pain.
She was a remarkable woman – selfless. She would rather remain in pain than cause hell for anyone else.
I knelt so that I was eye-level with her. "I don't give a fuck how many businesses that they burn, nor how much of our shit they sabotage, Lex. You're my woman now – not theirs.” Her eyes widened in shock. Fuck, I was just as surprised as she was at the words that just came out of my mouth. “And I will protect you until my last, dying breath." More tears rushed down her cheeks as she stared at me. "Because I'm trying to stake my claim on you, every man in this room will back me on any decision I make regarding you. We will all protect you, Alexia." I swore. “Or I’ll fucking die trying.”
She threw her arms around my neck as she buried her tear-stained face into the curve of my neck, her shoulders shaking with sobs. I instantly wrapped my arms back around her, holding her tightly to me. "I will always protect you and take care of you, sweetheart. Don't ever doubt that or lose sight of it." I told her softly.
And I would. Until my last dying breath, Lex would be mine.
And being mine meant that not a damn thing would ever happen to her.
I set a cup of steaming coffee in front of Thor. It was made just the way he liked it. He reached up and cupped the back of my neck, pressing his lips gently to mine. My heart skipped a beat in my chest, my soul warming at his tenderness. I had no idea how we had gotten to this point together so quickly, but I certainly wasn’t complaining. Thor was quickly proving that he was unlike the bikers that I was used to.
"Thanks, sweetheart." He grumbled, his voice still slightly husky from just waking up.
"No problem," I told him with a smile.
"You fit in well here." Layla, Hatchet's old lady, commented as I stepped back into the kitchen to continue making Thor's breakfast.
I shrugged, not sure how to reply to that. I was just doing what I did with the Burning Devils and for my ex. There wasn't really anything special about what I was doing. This kind of thing was normally required, right?
I dropped some bacon into the pan on the back eye for both me and Thor. "You really think you should be eating that?" Layla asked from behind me.
I swallowed thickly, my hand tightening around the spatula I was holding as my back tensed. It was too early for a confrontation, and everyone had been so nice.
I knew the kindness from everyone would be too good to be true. There was always one bitch in the bunch.
Thor likes you just the way you are, Lex, I tried to remind myself.
"Just saying." Layla continued quietly. "Thor has never been the type to settle down, and the women he does fuck with are toned and well-kept."
With that, she strode out of the kitchen. I bit my lip, forcing myself to hold back my tears. I wouldn't cry.
Don't let her words bother you, Lex.
It was too late, though. Her words were echoing in the back of my brain.
It wouldn't be too hard to skip breakfast, would it? After all, I did still need to lose a lot of weight, and I had been on a good route to do so before I had met Thor and he had gotten into my head.
I put all of the food I had cooked on one plate and car
ried it out to Thor, setting it in front of him. He looked up from whatever discussion he, Grim, Alex, and Grave were having to look up at me. "Where's your plate, Lex?" He asked me, taking note of the fact that I didn’t have my own plate.
I shrugged. "I already ate." I lied, hoping he would believe me and let it go.
He narrowed his eyes at me. "Lex, don't ever try to play me for a fool." He said quietly. I cast my eyes away from his. How did he see through me so damn easily? It wasn’t fair. "Where the hell is your breakfast?"
I sighed. "Thor, I'm not hungry," I told him quietly, really not wanting to have this discussion in front of the other men of this club and especially not the other women – women like Layla.
