“There is…” He began to say, and my heart started to thump hard in my chest. Could it be?
“There is something that I can do to make up for the promise that I won’t be able to keep,” he said, his voice low, but clear.
I was getting nervous and excited at the same time. What did he have in mind to make up for that promise he made? The more I thought about it, the more I reached no conclusion about that. With his current life, and everything that held him back, there was nothing he could do to make it possible for the two of us to marry for real.
“What is it, Gavin? Speak. The suspense is killing me from the inside.”
Gavin turned his head, and my eyes caught sight of the beautiful smile that he was sporting. “I am going to spend a month here looking for the right place to move in to with my wife and kids, so maybe we could have our own marriage during that time, and live as if we were husband and husband.”
His smile widened, obviously because he was joking about the ‘husband and husband’ part, but his words… they gave me hope, and it was so much better than seeing him walking away again knowing that he was never going to be more than a friend of mine.
“What? Are you really serious about that? What happened to betraying your wife?”
“What about betraying you and the promise I made?” He responded back.
I looked into his eyes and noticed that he was being serious about this. His smile didn’t really reflect the weight of this moment on him. By proposing something like that, he was indeed betraying his wife, but I imagined that he also didn’t want to make me feel sad by just becoming my friend.
“And how is that even going to work?” I responded, leaning my head closer to his while he did the same.
“What about that?” He asked before kissing me, his lips feeling so full and tender against mine.
We connected in a way that I never thought it was going to happen between us when he told me about his current life. His lips continued to make me his, and also to make me feel as if I was dissolving before him. His hand looked for my thigh and he caressed it, making me feel turned on.
There was no one passing by, and the public park we were in felt like it had the comfort and privacy of my home. I felt so lost in my love with him that I didn’t think about his wife and his new life, and almost thought that we had gone back to 10 years ago when I was having my first time with him.
His lips withdrew from mine, and I noticed that he was breathing heavy. “Did you like that?” He hissed.
“Yes… too much…” I answered, incapable of looking anywhere that was not his pupils and how they just seemed to hypnotize me.
“Want to go to the apartment I am staying at? My wife and kids won’t be there, and we should have the place just for ourselves.”
“How can I say no to something like that?” I answered, and his lips kissed mine once again, though this time it was more like a peck.
Gavin stood up, holding my hand, and took me to his car. He drove me to his apartment, and then to his bedroom. His hands proceeded to take off his shirt, and to reveal to my delight and love more of the man that meant so much to me 10 years ago, and also at this moment too.
I gripped his waist with my hands, pulling him closer, and feeling him. His body felt so warm and inviting, and it was as if I was having my first time with him again. I felt like a pure virgin, as if I didn’t know what to do in his presence, and that he needed to be the one to control me once again.
His arms went around my back, and pulled me closer to him. I had to stand on my toes to kiss him, which made me feel so small and delicate in comparison to him. The years that passed seemed to have made him so much manlier and more virile than I ever thought he would look. Gavin was just the kind of man that I needed, and the only one that I was ever going to give myself for.
“You look so stunning,” he said, his hand caressing my forehead, and I was doing my best to look at his eyes despite having to tilt my head back so much.
“What can I even say at this point, other than I feel the same about you?” I said, feeling his body engulfing mine once again, and his need for me growing.
It was not long before we were connecting just like we did back then, and he was inside of me, his need so big and growing. I could feel that he really loved me, and if things had been different, we would be, right now, a married couple that wanted nothing more than to live together for the rest of our lives.
We went over to his bed, his hand refusing to let go of mine. I also felt the same way, and held on to his hand as if my life depended on it. My happiness certainly depended on this moment working for me, even though I didn’t have hope that it was going to be much more than sex.
I could feel him inside me, his body moving with mine, and all the feelings I thought I had forgotten resurfaced. Gavin was smiling in between the moments that he kissed me, our combined momentum more than enough to make the bed creak. I could feel his desire for me, and the fact that he wanted me as way more than his friend, and I could feel the sadness in his eyes as he remembered that he could not have me and his wife at the same time.
Chapter 5
The Marriage
The next day came, and Gavin was sleeping beside me. His face looked so peaceful, and despite it being early in the morning, I felt ready to have sex with him again. I stayed there, looking at his closed eyes, and imagining what it would be like to be married to him, and to have him beside me every night. It would be the best life I could ever have, and it was going to always be just a dream of mine, at least in the long term.
Gavin opened his eyes and smiled when he noticed I was looking at him. “Good morning,” he said as he proceeded to sit on the bed. I followed suit, and his hand looked for mine. “That was incredible, Gavin. It brought back so many memories.”
“I know,” he said, and his voice was soft. He also remembered all the feelings he had back when we met.
“Do you want to deal with the rings and the decor for our marriage?” He asked.
I breathed and said, “The sooner, the better. I want to keep that promise, now that you have changed your mind a little.”
Gavin looked resolute about going through with that, but there was no denying that his current life was something that stood in his way, and that he wished he could have been more loyal to what we planned over 10 years ago.
“Let’s go,” he said before standing up and going to his bathroom to take a shower.
“Where are you going, Gavin? You don’t think I should be with you in there?” I asked before opening a sly smile.
Gavin smiled back, and opening the door for me, he said, “As you wish, my prince.”
I walked into his bathroom, naked like when I was born, and the two of us took a shower together that I was never going to forget. It was my first time doing that with someone, and it felt so good to have his wet body rubbing against mine, and to feel him once again.
We did so many dirty things together as the water washed our bodies. I helped him with his shower, and he helped me with mine, and the two of us gave ourselves for one another without objection, because he trusted me, and I trusted him.
We got dressed, and then headed out. We went to many places, looking for the right things for the marriage, like flowers, potted plants, decoration for the walls, an arc and even a small machine to recite the words. “It is going to be just like my own marriage with my wife,” he said, but then added when he noticed my expression, “But of course, you are going to make it different in your own way.”
We bought a lot of things for the planned marriage, more than what we were going to need, I thought as he parked his car and began to unpack. It took us around half an hour to bring everything to his apartment room, and even then we still needed to take the things out of their boxes and other containers.
Still, with a smile like that on his face, I could spend hours doing that, though we did take a break. He made me a sandwich, and it was good and delicious. I just learned that he was a
good cook, which made me think, yet again, what a good husband he would be for me.
“Time to get back to the preparations,” Gavin told me when he finished eating his sandwich.
We opened the boxes and began to set up the decor. We even found the arc, and he put in the middle of the living room, after he moved the couches to the walls. Even though we were barely starting and there were not many things set other than some potted plants, I could already see that Gavin didn’t measure efforts when buying the right things for this moment.
“Plus, most of the things that I have bought for the decor I will be able to use for parties and stuff like that, so it’s not like I didn’t think this through,” he said with a smile on his face as he carried a heavy box to another spot in the room.
It took us hours - the sun outside was already setting - to finish putting everything where we needed them to be, but it was well worth it. I looked around the room, my eyes could not even blink, as I admired all the decor on the walls, the plants, the arc with flowers, and the small machine he put by it that was going to recite the words and guide the marriage.
It was really so good, but there was one thing missing: our parents and friends. However, they were not going to come. This marriage was supposed to be our secret, and if people were to find out about it, our lives would be ruined. I could feel and see the worry in Gavin’s eyes before I patted him on the shoulder, caressed it, and told him, “It’s going to be fine. Nobody is going to find out about this.”
We slept together, and once again; we had the time of our lives. Feeling him inside me was like nothing else in the world. I wished I could do it with him again and again, despite knowing that, if his wife were to learn about this, she would be ruined.
And so came the next day, the one where we were going to marry. Gavin got dressed in his black suit and tie for the occasion, and he helped me get into my white one. “You are going to be the woman of this relationship that has no chance of working,” he told me before opening a wide smile of satisfaction and of playing jokes in a moment as serious as this one.
I almost slapped him in the face, but ended up kissing him. Our kiss lingered for minutes before he finally withdrew his lips, and his eyes looked into mine. I wanted to turn this moment into a photograph so that it would become permanent. We were going to take lots of photos, of course, but what I meant was that I wished for this occasion never to change, so that we could remain like this forever.
Gavin pressed the button on the radio, and the machine began to play that usual marriage song, though not too loud as to avoid the neighbors from having funny thoughts about what was happening in this apartment. Gavin grabbed my hand and took me to where the arc was. I looked at it and admired, once again, all the beautiful flowers it had.
With the press of a button on another machine, the priest began to recite the words. Gavin took my hand again, and positioned himself under the arc. His smile was permanent on his face as the machine continued to recite the words.
And then came the moment where he was going to swear his love for me, and never to betray me with anyone else. Kind of a funny and hypocritical thing, considering that he was already doing that to his wife because of me, but at this moment, we could forget about the life he built, and think that we were starting anew.
“Do you want to marry me?” Gavin asked, his voice low, but commanding and full of love. The love he had for me, despite all the years, remained, and I feared that might one day cause him troubles. But for now, that was not an issue.
“For you, I would do anything,” I said before going in for a kiss, and we kissed even after the machine began to repeat the same phrases.
“I think that we are making this last for far too long,” I said, letting a giggle escape.
“I think that is perfect,” Gavin told me before kissing me again, and just like the other time, our kiss was eternal.
I looked down and noticed the rings which he had bought for us. Two beautiful golden rings that were expensive, but none of us complained about that. We were in love, and there was no price tag for that.
Gavin took the ring and grabbed my hand. “May I?” He asked, his eyes looking at mine for the confirmation.
I nodded my head with a smile on my face, and Gavin slid along my finger the ring. I grabbed his hand, and did the same for him while admiring the man for who he was, and wishing, once again, that this moment could be so much more than this marriage.
Chapter 6
Always in Love
It was the wedding night now, and the stars were shining bright outside. We trashed the whole place because we drank so much after the marriage was over. We also kissed and did so many wrong things with the stuff we had bought, and we spent hours doing those things. I was just trying to make the marriage last as long as possible, because it was going to be the only one I was ever going to have.
Gavin was lying beside me on the bed, his hand caressing my chest, and my hand caressing his pecs. He was such a man… and I wished I could make love with him again and again. After the other night, I now had the lust for that once more, and when I looked into his eyes, I noticed that he was feeling the same way.
“Do you want this?” He purred, his head resting on my shoulder while I still felt the muscles of his chest.
“Of course. This is one of the best things about marrying you,” I said, opening a smile and forcing him to open his too.
“This is so much more than just sex, you know,” he said, his eyes now getting somewhat teary.
“I know, and we need to make the most of this relationship while we can,” I told him.
“You bet that we have,” he told me before moving to straddle me, his manliness and everything that defined the man he became, now on full display for the delight of my eyes. I bit my lower lip. I was barely containing myself at this point, and I was just waiting for his command.
“Should I?” He asked, his eyes still watery.
“Of course,” I told him before we started doing something that we were never going to forget, and to strengthen our bond in a way that was always going to be permanent in our lives.
We still had some time together after the marriage, and we were going to focus on that while he got ready for the arrival of his wife and kids. We were going to make every day different so that we could remember all of this 10 years after we separated one last time.
And despite knowing that our marriage was not an official one, I told him, “I will still wear this ring every day and wherever I go.”
Gavin smiled as we looked at the sun setting, the light rays changing as the night began to set in, and the calming ocean water moving against the shore. We had come here the day after our wedding night. This was a moment to remember too, and before the sun was gone, I grabbed my camera and took a picture of us together.
It was another picture that I was never going to be able to show to anyone I knew.
About the Author
Jerry Hastings is a passionate gamer, an outspoken lover of his PS4, an advocate for minority rights, and a staunch supporter of the fight against homophobia. Much more than putting words on paper, his stories change people's lives and minds.
As a writer, his specialty is gay romance. His tales are spicier and more affectionate than those usually found elsewhere. Have your soothing tea ready, because his words will make your heart beat faster than it should.
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