by Valia Lind
"It's possible," Harper shrugs, glancing over at her sister. Brianna walks at my other side, lost in thought. When there's a pause, Harper clears her throat and Brianna focuses back on us.
"Sorry, I'm thinking."
"About a way this spell can work without Sky at her full power?"
Brianna smiles at her sister, before glancing at me.
"It could still work. If we don't make progress, the next full moon is in a little over a week. We'll have to take a risk."
I nod, frustrated at myself for failing, for not being enough. Isn't that how I've been my whole life though? This just seems fitting at this point.
It's difficult not to fall into a pit of despair, because I feel like a failure. They brought me here because they thought I could be helpful, but all I've become is a liability. I'm not sure how to pull myself out of this way of thinking but I know, no one else can do it for me.
Back at the house, I head toward my room and lay down. Staring at the ceiling, my mind twirls with all the possibilities of how this can end badly. I'm not typically such a cynic, but I can't seem to get myself out of the funk. When a knock sounds at the door, I expect it to be one of the girls, but instead, my brother walks in.
"Hey," he greets me, as he walks over to the bed. I sit up, making room for him. "How are you holding up?"
"Oh, you know. Just great." Mark bumps me with his shoulder, making me chuckle.
“Sky—“
"What do you want me to say, Mark?" I ask, leaning forward to place my elbows on my knees. "I feel like a failure. The one good thing that could've come out of me being this...hybrid isn't working. So I'm stuck feeling just as frustrated as I have most of my life."
"I can't tell you how to feel, Sky," Mark sighs, something brewing behind his words. "But I can tell you how much I hate the coven for making you feel less than what you are."
I glance over at him, at the anger in his words. Mark has always been slow to anger. But if I really think about it, this has always made him tick.
"You've fought on my behalf more than once," I say now, reaching over and placing my hand over his. "This is not your fault."
"It doesn't mean that I don't wish there was more I could've done."
"You're the son of a witch who fell in love with a mermaid shifter. You didn't have it easy either."
"Maybe," he places his other hand over mine, holding on tightly, "But despite of all the politics and drama, you have grown to be an amazing, strong individual. Don't let the doubts of yesterday keep you from what you can be today. Or tomorrow. Failure doesn't have to be final."
Tears sting my eyes and I don't hesitate to throw my arms around my brother. Despite of what he thinks, he has always been there for me and has always fought in my corner. I don't ever want him to feel guilty for not doing enough. He's done more than he even realizes. The rest is up to me.
And that's the truth of the matter. It is up to me. No one can awaken this magic but me. I can feel it inside me, so it's not just a fleeting thought or a hope. I have it. I just need to learn how to use it.
Right here and right now, I decide that I won't rest until I reach my shifter side. Whatever it takes.
I know what I'm doing is extremely dangerous, but I have no choice.
The full moon is in a little over a week. What if this is the only chance we'll get at this? Can I really live with myself if I'm the reason the world around me is destroyed? I won't take that risk.
So when the house is finally quiet, and everyone is asleep, I grab my shoes and tiptoe out the back door. It takes me even less time to pull my shoes on and hurry over to the edge of the yard. I've seen Brianna break the protective barrier with her elemental magic, and even though mine is of a different sort, I'm not a novice. Concentrating, I ask the barrier to let me through, before I put my hand out and feel for it. The moment my skin connects with the invisible line, a ripple goes through the space around me and I hurry to step through. The barrier closes at my back and now, I'm inside the forest.
There isn't much I can do about protection. Sure, my battle magic is ready at my fingertips, but I have no idea if it'll do anything against the threat living in these woods. Even as I make my way deeper into the forest, I contemplate turning back. The air around me grows heavier by the second, the darkness weighing heavily on my shoulders. It's almost as if it wants to physically pull me to the ground, and I work at resisting the urge.
When a twig snaps at my right, I twist around in fighting stance, my battle magic at the ready. I feel the moisture in the air, in the grass and trees around us, and if need be, I will pull at every last drop of it to protect myself. But even as another noise reaches my ears, I hesitate. Whoever is out there, they mean me no harm. I can feel it as sure as I know my name. And when the shadow steps through the trees, I understand why.
"Didn't anyone tell you this is a forbidden exercise area?" Mason's voice reaches out to me through the darkness. Even though he sounds like he's joking, there's tension all around him. He's not happy with me.
"I won't apologize for this," I say, placing my hands on my hips and waiting until he reaches me.
"At least you're attuned enough to your surroundings that no one was going to sneak up on you," he says, stopping just a few feet in front of me.
"My shifter magic is good for something."
"And yet, you didn't attack. That was stupid."
My eyes narrow at his words, but I'm not backing down. Even though I don't want to admit this to him, I know I have to. Maybe if only to put his mind at ease.
"I knew you meant me no harm."
"You couldn't know it was me."
"You'd be surprised." I mumble, turning around to continue my walk. There's no doubt he's going to follow. He's not about to leave me alone. But I also forgot that he's a shifter too, and his hearing is much better than mine.
"What does that mean?" He asks, but I don't stop. Even though I anticipate it, the moment his hand curls on my upper arm, my body is in heat. I twist around, pulling away and he lets me go instantly.
"Sky..."
"If you don't know what I mean, then I shouldn't be explaining it to you."
We stare at each other, a battle of wills. I won't be the first to admit the feelings I've developed for him. And I definitely won't be the one to speak up about the otherworldly pull I feel towards him. But maybe I’ve already said too much. He opens his mouth but I wave him off before he can say anything.
"We don't have time for this. I need to get to the river, before they know I'm missing."
He studies me for a moment longer, before he walks past me. I hurry behind him. We don't speak as we walk, each of us attuned to the other and to the forest around us. I'd be lying if I said I don't feel safer with him here. He knows these woods, he won't let me get lost.
When we break through the trees, the river gleams in front of us. The moon isn't full yet, but there is enough light off it to send the water into a mythical glow. I feel the magic inside of me answering to the atmosphere. Almost in a trance, I make my way to the bank, before reaching for my sweater.
"What are you doing?" Mason asks, grabbing my hands before I can pull the material over my head. His touch sears me once more, and I try not to react.
"I need to get in, completely. It's the only thing we haven't tried yet.” I’ve only ever gone up to my waist, but it’s like I need to be completely immersed.
"It's cold outside," he comments, even though I know he doesn't feel the cold as the rest of us. Shifters have their own form of a heater. But so do I.
"Remember how I said the water is always a perfect temperature?" I remind him of our first time at the river. "I'll be fine."
He nods his head, but he doesn't move away. His hand slides down my arm, until it's curled around my own.
"What if something happens? If you get pulled away by the current?"
"Hey," I give his hand a squeeze, "I'm still a water witch. Nothing bad is going to happen."
But w
e both know that's not something I can promise. I have no idea what this river is capable of, and we have no idea if the Ancients are on the other side of this bank. Anything can happen. But I also know that I have to try.
"Trust me?" I ask, looking up into his eyes. There's worry there, and a bit of helplessness. He wants to protect me and the knowledge warms me up even more than his touch. But then he nods, and that simple trust in me breaks down every wall I had left standing.
Because this man, he doesn't see the broken vessel. He doesn't think of me as a weakling with tainted blood. He seems me as a witch who can take care of herself. That fuels me to prove him right.
I yank the clothes off my body until I'm in nothing but a bathing suit. I feel exposed and vulnerable.
And then, I step into the water.
7
The water twirls around me, as if excited to see me. It splashes against my skin, sending pleasant goosebumps up and down my arms. The temperature is perfect, just like I knew it would be. There's something about being in this river that feels like coming home. But then again, this whole town feels like coming home.
"I never understood my shifter side," I say, surprising myself. I'm not sure when I decided to confide in Mason, but here we are. Turning, I face him, as he walks as close to the bank as he can. Without hesitation, he sits on the grass, his attention completely on me. The way he's looking at me, it makes me want to tell him all my secrets. For now, I just settle on this one.
"My mother was a beautiful mermaid. I've only seen her in her water form twice, when I was very young. I think part of it is a little made up. But I know she was breathtaking. When I was little, before my coven basically shunned me, I dreamed of shifting. Even now, a part of me wants to know what it feels like."
That last part is directed at Mason and I know he understands what I'm asking. If I was to ask anyone, he's the perfect person to have this conversation with. He leans towards me just a bit, running his hand over the water. I'm so attuned to his movements, it feels like his fingertips are on my skin. I shiver, just barely, but I think he notices.
"Shifting is like connecting to the most primal part of yourself. I'm one hundred percent the person you see in front of you, but I'm also one hundred percent the wolf. It might not make sense, but when I shift, it's like both of those parts are one, and I'm more me than ever before."
His voice soothes me, lulls me into that place of hope. I wave my hands in the water, back and forth, as I let that hope blossom.
"That's how I imagine it to be. All parts of me, completely in sync."
"You will find that center," Mason draws my attention back to him. "It takes practice and it takes acceptance. I've seen shifters who've been denied their shifter side search for the same thing you're searching for. And they find it. You will too."
"Do you really think I'll shift?" I ask, turning to face him straight on. There's nothing but the water lit by moonlight between us. It hums against my skin, thrilling me almost as much as Mason's presence. I'm reacting to him as much as the magic around me. Maybe, he's his own type of magic.
"I don't know, Sky," he replies, his voice low. "But whichever way you reach that center, it will be magnificent."
My eyes find his almost automatically and then I can't look away. The magic dances around me, in me, and I let it.
I don't hold back.
I don't second guess.
I look Mason right in the eye and then I fall back.
The water consumes me completely, going over my head. My light blonde hair fans out around me, dancing it's own dance as I sink. But it's not quite sinking or floating. It's somewhere in between. The atmosphere envelopes me, pushing through me and I let it. I twist my whole body so I can look all around and it's as if the water is tugging me deeper. I think if I let it, it will sweep me away.
There’s a song in the water all around me, rushing over my skin. It excites me and tugs me forward, away from everything behind me.
But then I flip over to my back, I see the moon shining through the water and a silhouette peering down at the edge and I know I don't want to go. I push myself up and I break the surface feeling more alive then ever.
"Sky!" Mason's voice is full of concern, and maybe a twinge of panic. I glance over at him, flashing him a smile. "You scared the crap out of me."
"Why?"
"Because you've been down a long time."
Confused, I look around, but it still feels like it was only moments.
"I don't understand."
"It's been almost twenty minutes!" His voice stops me, and I glance back at him. "I tried to get into the water to see if I can pull you out but it wouldn't let me." He adds that last part as if he doesn't believe it, but I do.
"I felt called to it. I could've stayed there forever, I think." I mumble, turning to look down into the water. Something nudges me to go under again, but instead of plunging headfirst, I stick out my hands and invite it in.
At first, nothing happens. I think I'm imagining it. But then, the tips of my fingers begin to tingle, and the water around my hands begins to boil and somewhere inside myself I hear the sound of the ocean.
"Do you hear that?" I whisper, but I know it's just me. The sound is only for me. It's a song only I can hear and every part of me, witch and shifter, wants to give in to it.
Just as suddenly as it comes, the sound dissipates and so does the tingling. But when I glance down I find myself holding a large orange starfish, bigger than I've ever seen. It sits nestled in the palm of my hands, completely at home.
"Mason!" I call out, turning and his eyes zero in on my treasure.
"Where did it come from?"
"I think, from the ocean."
"But you're nowhere near the ocean."
"Maybe, I called it to me. I heard the ocean calling and I answered and here it is."
The starfish is beautiful, almost glowing in the moonlight as it curls around my fingers. It feels like the most natural thing in the world, even though I've never held one. It takes both of my hands to hold it and some part of me just wants to pull it close to my chest and keep it forever.
"I have to send it back somehow. It won't survive in this water."
"You should show it to the sisters," Mason says and I realize he's right. This is a display of a magic I've never experienced before. This was a breakthrough. They're not going to like me being out here in the middle of the night, but they can't deny that it was the right thing to do.
"That's incredible," Krista breathes, studying the starfish now residing in a small aquarium. I can't stop staring at the creature that is much larger than it should be, worried it's going to die any second.
"Is there anything we can do?" I ask again, turning to Brianna. The girls weren't happy with my sneaking out, or doing magic experiments in the middle of the night by myself, but they're also excited I'm finally showing some promise.
"You're the only one who can do anything, Sky," Brianna says, looking up from her book. I glance back at the starfish, frustrated with myself for bringing it here.
"But I don't know what I did, or if it would work the same for the water."
"Just try, Skylar," Harper says, coming around the counter. They've been doing research, trying to figure out if the type of the starfish has any meaning to what's happening. But it doesn't. We've found out that starfish are not actually fish, and are more precisely called sea stars because of it. There are about two thousand species of sea stars but nothing in Harper’s books tell us of their significance.
Pacing, I walk over to the aquarium, placing my hand against the glass. The creature shifts a little, until it's directly against my palm and I swear I can feel it, even with the glass separating us.
"Can you remember what you were thinking when it happened?" Krista asks, keeping her voice gentle. I know she can read the frustration in me. But then again, you don't even need to be a Reader to see that.
"I wasn't thinking," I almost whisper, keeping my eyes on the sea sta
r, "I was distracted by..." I stop myself, but my mind is already on Mason. The worry on his face, the relief in his voice. He got to me. And a part of me wanted him to see me succeed. Almost as much as I wanted to succeed.
"Skylar!"
Harper's voice pulls me out of my thoughts, as the girls all move in around me, their eyes on the aquarium. When I glance down, I realize my hand is still against the glass and the water is bubbling once again. When it stops, I think the starfish is gone. But no, it's still there. But something feels different.
"It's ocean water. The perfect one for the starfish," Krista finally breaks the silence. I glance at her sharply, before staring at the water once again.
"How is that possible?"
"You did it to protect the starfish," Brianna says. "Something triggered it."
Not something, someone.
I'm so fascinated by Mason I keep making myself do magic, without control.
"Whatever this trigger is, you need to hold onto it," Brianna says and it takes all of my self control not to turn and look at Mason. His presence is an electricity in the room and I'm terrified I'm going to get zapped.
"I'll work on it," I reply, keeping my eyes on the starfish. The creature seems to be looking back at me, as if waiting for instruction. It's completely focused on me, despite of the fact that it's surroundings keep changing. I lean in closer, my nose to the glass, some suppressed instinct rising up.
The room grows completely silent behind me, as they all wait to see what I'll do. I'm curious to what I'll do since I don't know what I'm doing. I'm just acting, with no idea, no roadmap to guide me. I'm completely clueless.
So are they.
The thought rushes into my mind as if it's my own, only it's not. I recoil instantly.
"What is it?" Mason is by my side in a flash, his assuring presence reaching out to me. Fighting my urge to lean closer to him, I instead watch the sea star.
"I'm not sure. But it's like I could hear a thought."
"Whose?"
"I'm not sure.” I repeat.
