by Nina Manning
‘Excuse me.’ I turned to a man in a suit who was making his way past me. ‘Do you know where the rooftop cinema is?’
He shook his head. ‘Sorry, love, no.’ He carried on walking.
‘Excuse me,’ I said to a young guy with huge headphones. He pulled the cans down as he saw my lips moving. ‘Do you know where the rooftop cinemas is, please?’
He shook his head and pulled the cans back on and carried on walking.
I asked another five or six people and no one knew. It really was an elite little enterprise. I was beginning to think I was going to have to start walking into all the buildings one by one and asking, when I spotted a small sign across the road. I checked the traffic and walked over the road. I had obviously seen it somewhere else subliminally because I instantly recognised the words Blue Moon that were printed above the doorway. I looked at the photo on my phone. I couldn’t see the logo there. I went into Instagram and looked for the image that lucybest65 had posted. Next to the large screen was a huge pull-up banner with the very same logo words printed on it. Blue Moon. This must be the company who hosted these rooftop events. I felt a tingle of anticipation as I realised that I was standing very close to where lucybest65 lived. Very soon I would be standing at her door. Somehow I imagined she would be in. From what I had gathered online, she seemed to be the kind of person who enjoyed staying in, looking at other people’s lives.
I began to look around as I tried to work out where Lucy would have had the best view from, but it was no use. I didn’t know which way the rooftop cinema was set up, so I couldn’t possibly know which street to start to with.
I took a deep breath and rang the buzzer next to the Blue Moon sign. There was a crackle and then a woman’s voice came through the speaker.
‘Hi, can I help you?’
‘Oh, yes, hi.’ I quickly thought on my feet. ‘I’m here about a potential group booking? I was told if I was in the area to just pop in?’
‘Oh, right, sure. Come on up. We’re on the second floor.’
The door buzzed. I pushed it open and took the stairs two at a time until I reached the second floor and saw the sign for Blue Moon.
I entered a small, beige room where a slight girl in a high red chair was applying a sticky-looking gloss to her lips. To her right was another desk, which was empty. These two desks appeared to be the sum of the entire business.
‘Hiya,’ I said breathlessly.
‘Hi, did you say you had booked an event?’ She smacked her lips together as she popped the lid back on the gloss.
‘No, I wanted to book an event for a… birthday, sort of thing, like a birthday party. Is that the sort of thing you do?’ I began looking around the room for another door that would lead to the roof.
‘Yes, anything like that, work dos, hen nights, we’ve even done a few weddings. When were you thinking of booking for?’
‘I was hoping to get a look at the rooftop, to see if it would be suitable for the—’
‘Your party? Right, well, unfortunately I’m on my own today, and I’m not insured to be up there. My colleague is out assessing other potential sites and I can’t let you up there alone – health and safety and all that – so did you want to make an appointment to come back and view it another day? Also, I can show you the floor plan here.’ She pointed to an open pamphlet on the desk. ‘Or you can view the website, which has many images of that particular rooftop—’
‘That’s great, but I really need to see the rooftop. Are you sure you can’t escort me up there?’ I pointed to the ceiling.
She shook her head. ‘I can’t, I’m afraid.’ She pulled her mouth into a tight smile and I knew she wasn’t going to budge.
‘Right, okay then.’ I looked down at the desk. ‘Can I grab a couple of these then?’ I pointed to the pamphlets.
‘Of course, take a handful, spread the word.’ She handed over a pile with an inordinate amount of keenness.
‘Great.’ I stuffed them into the outside pocket of my rucksack.
‘Just give us a call and I can get you booked in for a viewing.’
‘Okay, will do, thanks.’ I turned and walked out of the small office and headed through the door to the stairway, I placed my hand on the bannister and looked upwards. This building was about another two storeys high. There could possibly be a door to the roof if I carried on up. The receptionist was unable to take me, but although I wasn’t supposed to, there was no one stopping me from heading up there by myself.
I looked behind me to check that I was I alone and that I could make the move and leg it up the stairs, before anyone caught me. I decided this was one of those moments when you just had to take the opportunity that was being presented. I needed to feel the fear and do it anyway.
I took a deep breath, swung one last look behind me at the closed door, then headed up the stairs. I walked up two more floors until I reached the top where there was one final door. I stood and caught my breath as I read a sign that said: This way for the rooftop screening.
I crossed my fingers, pushed the door and to my relief it opened.
I stepped out into a glorious otherworld. I looked down to my left and dragged a large pot plant to the door to wedge it open; I didn’t need to be stuck out on a roof top with only one route out. I took a moment to take it all in. It was as though I had stepped into a fairy tale; there were huge potted trees all around the perimeter, white seats were in the middle, each row raised slightly more than the next. There was a bar with a Caribbean-style thatched roof, and outdoor heaters were placed in the corner of the seating and also in the centre.
I took a quick glance behind me, sure that someone must have followed me, that I couldn’t have this magnificent haven all to myself. Then I reminded myself why I was there. I needed to find the opposite end of the rooftop to where the screen was facing to see the view that Lucy would have and to try to work out where she was living and posting her comments from every day.
I walked to the back of the rooftop, which was heavily secured around the sides, and even then, when I looked over the side, the drop was only a few feet to a fire stairway. But still, I felt a surge of uneasiness. Something terrible would happen. With nothing to hand to take away the stress, I closed my eyes and imagined I was at home brushing my teeth; I counted out loud to thirty-four. I opened my eyes and blew out a long breath. I looked out over at the row of buildings directly opposite. I took out my phone and looked at the photo again, as if it might give me more of a clue, but, of course, it wouldn’t, she had taken it from the inside, and I was standing on the outside looking at three or four buildings that could all have an equally central view of the rooftop. I did, however, know that it would have to have been taken from a higher part of the building, meaning that she either lived in an apartment or she was extremely affluent and owned an entire four-storey house.
Assessing the possibilities, I knew I would have to go and ring every house and apartment until I found her. I took out my phone, went into Instagram and found the image of lucybest65 looking out of her window. I looked longingly at the photo once more, willing it to show me something more. Then I double-blinked as I spotted something. It was a purple flower, just peeking up from outside the window, and there were two silver brackets attached to the inside of ledge. Of course, it was a window box. She has a window box! I looked up from my phone and across at the houses, scanning back and forth. I spotted two, the first one was a silver box with a flurry of yellow and orange flowers, not a speck of purple in sight. No, that couldn’t be it. My eyes reached another house, and on the top floor was a window and outside, clutching the bottom of the white frame, was a window box bursting with purple flowers.
‘Hello, lucybest65,’ I said as I put my phone into my back pocket.
32
Then
I woke up one Saturday morning and sensed something was different. D was home, so that was one reason, but even with the heaviness that he brought to the air, it was what was missing that alarmed me.
/> I couldn’t hear any of the usual goings-on in the house. Olga would usually be up by now, emptying bins, moving furniture around to sweep. Even though she performed these tasks with a gentle easiness, I would always wake to hear her making her way from room to room. But this morning there was total silence.
I knew Olga was gone. Even though I knew it to be true in my heart, I still had to check. Whilst D snoozed in the bed next to me, I lifted Baby Boy, who had been stirring in his cot, and went off to search the house for her. Her small collection of belongings in the spare room were gone. The house was eerily silent.
I found that I could not control the anger that raged up inside me. I put the baby safely in his playpen in the lounge and ran into the bedroom, the fury burning in my chest, with no regard for the consequences. He could kill me for all I cared; he had taken away the one bit of joy and variety to my life except for Baby Boy. He brought her into my life just to take her away again because he thought he could. I had been plagued by his cruelty for too long. I wished he were dead.
I ran at him on the bed as animalistic growls came from my throat. He shot up, ready to defend himself. I was shouting at him. He grabbed my wrists and restrained me; his strength always surprised me. He flipped me so he was on top, and he was looking down on me. I began to kick out, pushing my arms with all my strength.
‘What. Are. You. Doing?’ D shouted in my face.
I was out of breath from running and now the anticipation of what was to come was stirring up a familiar fear within me.
‘You knew how much her company meant to me,’ I said as calmly as I could manage.
He let out a loud snort and to my surprise, he rolled off me and over onto his back. I lay very still, waiting for what would come next.
‘I thought something bad had happened.’ He turned onto his side, facing away from me.
‘This is bad? Olga, she was… my friend.’
Then he laughed, a malicious demonic laugh that penetrated right through me. I had prepared myself for a beating. I had anticipated it so much that to be lying there listening to his laugh was worse than having him physically assault me. I almost wished for the latter to take away the feeling of nothingness that he had left me with.
‘Why? Why did you do it?’
He let out a blast of air from his lips, disposing of air the way he had disposed of my friend.
‘Haven’t you got something better to be doing?’ he murmured. I lay there, feeling my heart rate return to normal.
‘Why?’ I said, but it was barely a whisper.
Now I knew he no longer even cared enough to punch me in my arm, throat, gut or anywhere else I had received his fists. But, of course, I knew he had, in fact, never cared.
I took myself out of the bed and went back to Olga’s room, where the scent of her perfume still lingered in the air. I lay down on the bedsheets and inhaled the sweetness of the pillowcase, putting my hands under the pillow. As I did my fingers found a piece of card. I pulled it out; it was a photo. In the picture were three children, all very young, no older than five. The one girl was the spit of Olga, and I knew these were her children she had never spoken of. I could forgive her for leaving. But where was she now? I prayed she was safe and with her family, but I had no way of ever knowing. I couldn’t forgive D for bringing her into my life, knowing she would never be able to stay. But mostly I couldn’t forgive him for all the things he had done to me, to make me this weak, needy and vulnerable person who’s only friend in the world was a woman that I would never see again.
Instagram post: 21st May 2019
Hi guys, thanks for all your selections on the Oliver Bonas post. I can confirm I have a winner! @wendyseaman_34, the voucher will be winging its way over to you soon.
I will post an image of all the pieces that you have chosen for my room once they arrive! Nothing beats the arrival of new goods. I love the feeling of when I’ve ordered something and then it finally arrives. There’s nothing like it!
But, to be honest, guys, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. This job that I do, it can sometimes feel lonely. I mean, I’m grateful to you all for being there for me, all one million and something of you. But I do wonder when the day will come when I will hang up my Marigolds for good, because this won’t last for forever. That’s one thing that life has taught me. So enjoy every day that you can, be kind to one another and remember, keep cleaning!
Mrs C x
hairymother Is she okay? She sounds as though she’s flinging in the towel.
