by Evans, A. K.
“It’s okay,” I assured him, my voice gentle.
A look mixed with pain and longing washed over him.
Seeing it, I struggled not to break down. My eyes filled with tears. “Trent,” I whispered. “I’m so sorry.”
The second the words were out of my mouth, he shook off whatever he was thinking about and asked, “Okay, what do I need to do to install this?”
I pushed past the sadness I was feeling and walked Trent through the car seat installation. Not long after he had it securely installed, Tate had finished eating. I fixed my clothes, got Tate fastened in his seat, and moved back up to the front seat. Then, I gave Trent directions to my house. He offered to stay in the car with Tate while I ran in to get his milk. After, he took me to Keith’s place.
When we pulled up, he muttered, “Motherfucker.”
I could feel the anger rolling off him, even though I didn’t understand what it was about, and decided it was best to do what I went there to do. Moving to the back seat, I took Tate and his diaper bag out and walked up to the door while Trent waited in the truck.
When Keith opened the door, I gave Tate several kisses on his cheek. He giggled. “Love you, baby boy,” I said softly in his ear.
“Who the hell is in the truck?” Keith asked as he took Tate out of my arms.
“I told you I got into an accident. It was smoking from under the hood and my car had to be towed.”
“Right, so who’s in the truck?”
I sighed. “The guy whose truck I hit.”
Keith’s eyes rounded. “You got into a truck with someone you don’t even know? And you thought it was wise to put our child in that same vehicle?”
“I know him, Keith. I’ve known him since high school. He’s not a stranger.”
Keith went from looking surprised to looking like a light had switched on. “That’s him, isn’t it?”
I snapped my mouth shut and shifted to the side, hoping I was blocking the view to Trent’s truck.
Keith’s hand shot out and grabbed my arm. He squeezed tight and pulled me toward him so he could see around me to Trent.
Apparently, that wasn’t enough. Keith let go of my arm and started walking out toward the truck. I’m not sure what prompted him to do so, but Trent exited his truck and came face-to-face with Keith.
“Well it’s finally nice to meet you,” Keith declared.
Trent’s head jerked back as his eyes narrowed. “Excuse me?”
“The man my wife is divorcing me for.”
Trent’s eyes shot to mine. I didn’t get a chance to say anything because Keith kept talking.
“I made one mistake. One mistake and she was gone,” he started. “Everybody can forgive a mistake. But Delaney couldn’t. At least now I know why. The man she’s loved our entire marriage is back in her life. That’s why she keeps pushing for the divorce.”
Trent was visibly rocked by what Keith shared. And once again, I still couldn’t speak because Keith turned toward me and hissed, “I see this for what it is now, Delaney. You want to be done, you can be done. But I’m going to push for full custody of Tate.”
“Keith—” I got out before he cut me off.
“Save it for the attorneys, baby,” he sneered. “You’ve been waiting for me to screw up so you could get out and take me for half of everything I own. We’ll see what the judge has to say about awarding you half when you’ve been screwing around on your husband.”
I didn’t even have a chance to give my son another kiss because Keith moved around me and took off inside.
When I looked back to Trent, he jerked his head toward the truck. I understood what he was suggesting and moved to get in.
Then, we drove back to my place in awkward silence.
Delaney lied to me.
Lying to you and letting you walk away from me was the biggest mistake of my life.
Her words from earlier in the week filtered into my mind seconds before the words from her husband only minutes before did.
The man she’s loved our entire marriage is back in her life.
To say I was confused would have been an understatement. I had no idea why, for fifteen years, I had the words Delaney said to me always lingering in the back of my mind, but now I’d heard things that indicated something much bigger was going on. That something was telling me that she hadn’t been truthful fifteen years ago.
And the thought made me sick.
I was driving Delaney back to her place where I fully intended to figure out what I just witnessed. I didn’t get answers years ago—I didn’t even want them when she tried to offer up excuses in the grocery store the other day—but I had every intention of getting them now.
For now, I was going to give her the rest of the drive there to sort her head out after what just happened. She was clearly upset, so I thought she might need some time to think through whatever it was that I’m sure she now realized she needed to fill me in on.
The day started out fine for me, but from the moment she’d crashed into the back of my truck until now, it had been a whirlwind of emotions.
First, getting out of my truck and realizing that I was seeing her for the third time in less than a week when I hadn’t seen her since high school was alarming. I wanted to wallow in my anger. She ended us, so I shouldn’t have given a single fuck what happened to her.
But I did.
As much as I’d been hurt by what she did back then, I’d also loved her. So, looking at the damage done to her car, noting just how stunned she was from the accident, I couldn’t not be concerned about her safety.
When I overheard her on the phone with the man I now knew was her husband, only one thing stuck out in my mind. She told him she was in an accident and not once did I ever hear her say that she was okay. It didn’t seem like the guy even cared and that made me angry on Delaney’s behalf.
But it wasn’t much later when I stopped feeling angry and started feeling a sense of longing. Watching Delaney feed her son, all I could think was how badly I’d wanted that with her. She became a mother, and I missed out on that with her. The pain that sliced through me was probably worse than what I felt the day she ended things between us.
And once I’d apologized for watching her during what should have been a private moment between her and her son, she nearly broke down. The tears in her eyes and the apology she delivered, once again, only confirmed just how much I misunderstood about what actually happened between us.
But the words she said to me kept resurfacing.
You’re unworthy of me, Trent. You’ll never amount to anything.
I could still hear her voice in my head as if it just happened. And every single time I heard those words, it disgusted me that I fell for someone who would say that.
But it was in the instances today that I felt my heart softening toward her. I needed the full story, and I intended to get it. We just needed to make sure she got her son to his father first.
Now that we’d dropped Tate off with him, I wasn’t exactly sure I understood why Delaney ever ended up married to a guy like that. Never in a million years did I think she would have married a guy who would scream and yell at her and someone else, that someone being me in this case, all while he held his infant son in his arms.
I couldn’t even begin to process any of what he said about wanting to take Delaney’s baby away from her because I was stuck on the words he’d said to me.
The man my wife is divorcing me for.
As I approached Delaney’s place, I clenched my jaw only so I could refrain from saying anything to her until we were inside.
I parked, got out, and came around to meet her on her side. She seemed shocked that I wasn’t just dropping her off, but didn’t put up a fight either. Once Delaney opened her door, flipped on her light, and stepped inside, she turned around and said, “Thank you for giving me a ride today and for walking me to my door. If you take my number, you can let me know what the damage to your truck is so I can pay to have it repair
ed.”
I shook my head.
Delaney grew concerned and maintained, “Yes, you have to tell me what the cost is, Trent. Please. I don’t want it to go through my insurance.”
“I don’t give a fuck about the truck right now, Delaney.”
She immediately bit her bottom lip and looked down. Evidently, she was nervous. Even still, I wanted answers.
I insisted, “We need to talk.”
She knew it. She had been hoping I’d just walk away, but deep down she knew there was no way she could not explain, at a minimum, what had just happened. So, she stepped back and allowed me to come inside.
After she closed the door, she turned and nervously looked up at me.
“Do you want to tell me what that was all about?”
She shook her head and admitted, “I’ll be honest, I’d really like to take a shower so I can get out of these dusty clothes.”
If she wanted more time, I’d give her that. I’d already waited fifteen years, so another ten minutes wouldn’t kill me.
“By all means,” I began. “I’ve got nowhere else to be, so I can wait.”
“Right. Um, would you like something to drink?” she asked nervously.
“Delaney?”
“Yeah?”
“Go take a shower so we can talk about this.”
She nodded her head and agreed, “Okay.”
With that, she walked away and took off through her apartment. I used that time to look around at her place. It was purely a space for her to live in. And that wasn’t saying much. Her husband was living in a huge house with all the trimmings and she was in this tiny space that left a lot to be desired. The space was clean, and she wasn’t in a bad neighborhood, but it still didn’t sit well with me.
It wasn’t about her being in the best of the best because I knew that wasn’t what mattered. But she was a mother to a young baby and her husband was clearly well off. Even if he had an issue with Delaney, why was he okay with his son being in this situation when he could clearly provide better for him?
I was leaning my hips against Delaney’s kitchen counter when she returned. The second I saw her, I slowly closed my eyes. I still couldn’t get over just how beautiful she was.
When I opened my eyes again, I saw that she was still nervous, so I took the initiative to get things started.
“Why are you living here?”
She blinked her eyes, clearly surprised by my line of questioning. “Pardon?”
“Why the hell is your husband living in the lap of luxury while you and Tate are here doing the exact opposite?”
“It was my choice to leave,” she answered.
“And?”
She shrugged. “I could still be living in that house, but I don’t want to be with him anymore, so I decided to get out.”
“How long ago did you leave him?”
She looked away briefly before she turned her gaze back to me and admitted, “Over a year. Since I was three months pregnant with Tate, to be exact.”
Fuck.
Now I needed to know why. This was something entirely too important for me to ignore.
“Is it true?” I asked, taking steps toward her.
“Is what true?” she returned.
“What your husband said.”
She shifted back and forth on her bare feet only inches in front of me before she replied with another question, “Which part?”
“The one where he said that you were in love with me throughout your entire marriage.”
Delaney hesitated a moment and simply stared up at me. Her eyes searched my face for several long moments. She nodded and admitted, “I’m still in love with you. I never stopped loving you, Trent.”
Anger flooded me.
My voice dipped low when I warned, “Then you’ve got to be honest with me right now. If that’s the truth, why did you end us?”
“Maybe we should sit down, relax, and have a bite to eat,” she suggested. “I haven’t had any dinner yet. Have you?”
“I don’t want any fucking food, Delaney. I want answers. I want to know why the girl I loved, who told me she loved me, destroyed us the way that you did.”
She noted the seriousness in my tone, took a deep swallow, and whispered, “I did it to protect you.”
“To protect me,” I repeated. “From what?”
Her eyes filled with tears. “My father was a very powerful man, Trent.”
It was like acid had filled my veins. I should have known her father was behind this. My jaw was clenched when I bit out, “What did he say to you?”
“He was going to have you arrested and charged with rape,” she rasped.
“Rape? Of who?”
“Me.”
It was a wonder my head didn’t explode. “Delaney, babe, I don’t know if you forgot or not, but you and I never slept together.”
She shook her head. “I know that. Trust me, I know. But my father was determined and didn’t want us together. I knew what kind of power he had and what he could do to you if I didn’t end things between us. He told me he’d see to it that you spent a lot of time in prison. On top of that, you’d be registered as a sex offender. I couldn’t let that happen.”
“Fuck!” I roared. Delaney jumped. I was livid but knew I needed to rein in my emotions. I took a few deep breaths, trying to settle myself.
Before I even saw her move, I felt Delaney’s fingers wrap around my hand. “I’m so sorry for what I said to you that day,” she struggled to get out. I winced, recalling the awful memory burned in my brain. “I hated myself for making you think I believed all of that about you. You are the most amazing, wonderful man I’ve ever known. But I had to keep you safe.”
“Quiet,” I ordered.
This was too much.
“I wasn’t going to let him do that to you,” she pressed on.
“Delaney, stop.”
“I can’t apologize enough to you for what I did. You aren’t the one who’s unworthy, Trent. It’s me.”
Feeling too much emotion and needing to silence her, I lifted my hand and curled it around the back of her neck. I pulled her close and brought my mouth to hers. The instant my lips touched hers, I was gone. I was pulled right back in and every emotion I ever felt for her coursed through me.
I knew she felt it, too, because she whimpered.
Delaney and I stayed like that a long time, mouths connected, tongues tasting, bodies touching. It was beautiful and dreadful all at the same time. So much time had been lost. She’d moved on, gotten married, and had a baby. I’d been in and out of relationships, but nothing I had with anyone else ever compared to her. And I wasn’t willing to settle.
I brought my hands up to frame her face and tore my mouth from hers. “Why didn’t you tell me? You could have found a way to tell me, baby.” My voice was so hoarse, it was like I was near choking.
The tears spilled down her cheeks. “He was monitoring my phone. He knew about every single call I made. And I knew the kind of guy you were. I knew you wouldn’t walk away from me if I told you what he was doing. I made it ugly, so you’d walk away and stay safe.”
My thumbs stroked her cheeks, wiping away her tears. “You’re right, Delaney. I wouldn’t have walked away from you. Aside from the fact that we weren’t having sex, the age of consent in Wyoming is sixteen.”
Her face paled.
She had no idea.
“I’m going to be sick,” she cringed.
“Breathe,” I ordered.
She did. I gave her a minute to collect herself. Once I knew she’d accomplished that, I shared, “You did it for nothing, Delaney. He had no proof of that happening because it never actually happened.”
Her eyes darted back and forth. “He was so against you, believing you had nothing to offer me. He would have found a way to drum up charges and make them stick. He would have just said that it happened before I was sixteen considering we got together when I was still fifteen. That’s the kind of man he was. I questioned
his morals prior to my mom’s death, but I had no doubts about exactly who he was after she died. Please, Trent. You have to believe if I thought there was another way, I would have done anything other than what I did. I did it and I did it ugly because I knew you wouldn’t have walked away from me otherwise. There was no choice.”
“But there was,” I started. “I would have been smart. I loved you. I would have come up with a plan and figured something out. And if I had to, I would have waited for you to turn eighteen.”
She slowly closed her eyes and dropped her gaze to the ground. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her. The second her face was pressed against my chest, she broke down into full-fledged, body wracking sobs. I did all I could do and just held her tight.
“I…I…I’m so sorry,” she wailed.
“It’s done, baby. You did what you thought was best. We can’t go back and change it now.”
“It was…it was the worst…decision of my life,” she managed to get out through her crying.
She was still so distraught, so I bent down and picked her up under her knees and behind her back. Then, I walked through her apartment until I found her bedroom. I kicked off my sneakers next to the bed before I settled myself beside her in it.
We were facing each other, her forehead resting against my chest, my arms wrapped tight around her. The two of us stayed like that a long time while she cried it out. I didn’t try to make her stop. I couldn’t imagine what she felt knowing she’d made the decision that she did when it wasn’t one she wanted to make. She was young and believed she had no other choice. As much as I didn’t want her to, especially now knowing the truth, I knew this was going to weigh heavily on her mind for a long time.
It was quite some time later when she finally settled down.
“Your shirt is soaked,” she noted, pulling her face back to look up at me.
“It’s okay,” I assured her.
She stared at me for a bit before she sighed, “I missed you so much, Trent. You have no idea how often I thought about you.”
