I frowned. While Caspian was worried about his business he didn’t seem to grasp that dangerous men had found refuge in his tavern. They were the reason he might lose customers, and they were the reason he wouldn’t be seeing us again.
“If Nina Nasso or a man named Stefan come here, will you inform a Watcher? They’re wanted for questioning,” I said firmly.
Caspian nodded. “Of course. We might not play by the rules here, but we don’t assist criminals.”
“And,” Lukas added in, “If I ever find out Nina or Stefan were here and you lied to us, I’ll take it upon myself to close up your tavern. Your business days will be over.”
Caspian gulped but nodded again with wide eyes.
I trusted Lukas’s threat was enough to frighten the owner, and he provided no additional information. If my mother and Stefan had been here they had kept a low profile.
We paid the owner, and I did one final glance through the tavern. Stefan’s note had only led to a dead end.
We left the tavern and stepped outside with Jessalin close behind us. The sun shined down on us, though the roads remained wet from last night.
The streets were filled with locals who now showed an interest in us, murmuring as they pasted us and watching our every move. By now everyone had probably heard about Jasper’s death. I only hoped he didn’t have any friends remaining in the area.
We took turns asking people in the streets about my mother. Jessalin did well to remind me of Claire’s orders, but I needed to take advantage of my last minutes in Rajoor while they lasted. Jessalin did not stop us, but she also offered no assistance.
Locals recognized the Nasso name, but few remembered having seen my mother recently. Anyone who knew my mother was familiar with her tendency to never stay in one place long. Those who had seen her recently couldn’t recall where she went or who she had been with.
The post was not far from us, and I nearly gave up all hope until an old woman approached us. None of us recognized her, but she claimed to know Nina’s whereabouts.
“I can take Clara to her, but no one else,” she said, glaring at my companions.
“Why? These are my friends. They can be trusted,” I replied firmly.
She shook her head. “That is my only offer, child. Sorry.”
I asked if she would give me directions, but she denied that request as well.
I stepped aside with the men to discuss our options. Neither of them looked pleased with the only lead we had, and Jessalin’s face twitched. She would never approve of this. But what other choice did I have?
“Absolutely not,” Ezra said sternly.
Lukas nodded in agreement. “We are in a part of Rajoor you’re not familiar with. These people aren’t your friends. After last night’s events none of them can be trusted.”
Jessalin remained silent, standing the furthest away, but I knew they were right. We had no reason to trust anyone on the island, least of all the locals. No one here was familiar to me, not the Watchers and certainly not the people.
Lamp posts were spread across the island, so we would have no need to return to my childhood home again. I couldn’t stop to see Nicholas and ask him for leads. His bookshop would be out of the way, and traveling further might only put us in more danger.
“She is our only lead,” I said.
If it were not for our current company, I wondered if I would follow the woman. She was my only hope. There had been a spark of recognition in her eyes when I had said my mother’s name. It haunted me. She knew something, and any answer seemed better than what I had currently.
I glanced back at the woman. She was a small, old lady with raggedy clothing. She stood with a cane in her hand and her legs wobbled even as she stood still. She looked too old and too fragile to be anyone my mother would keep company with. And though she waited patiently, I did not know what to make of her. Perhaps she was another assassin, but her appearance left me clueless. She could be anyone, and I would be none the wiser.
Lukas crossed his arms. “You best kill me now. So long as I am breathing I’ll never let you agree to an offer like that. She’s a trap, Clara, nothing more. She is here to deceive you.”
“You aren’t familiar with my mother. She could be leaving the island tonight, and then she will be lost to us. What if this is my only chance? Do I not owe it to Claire and Jhase?”
I wiped the sweat off my forehead and continued staring at the woman. This would never work. Even if I could convince Ezra and Lukas to allow it, Jessalin would never be swayed. She had direct orders from Claire. Though Lukas was in charge of the Watchers, I was certain Claire’s orders overruled his. She would never forgive me if I risked my own life for a woman who had abandoned us.
“Clara…” Ezra said softly.
I groaned at the sound of his voice. After everything he had saved me from, now he would save me from this mistake too.
“There is always another way. I promise,” he said, brushing his hand against mine.
Despite my opinion on promises, I stared into his big blue eyes and chose to believe him.
I turned to Lukas, who also offered sad eyes, and finally gave up. The answers Mother had were not worth anyone’s death. I winced at the thought of finding “another way” to solve my dilemma. Mother was the key to my past, and she had abandoned me as easily as she had done to Claire.
Sighing, I said, “Fine, I’ll tell her…”
I could feel their eyes on me as I walked past them and returned to stand in front of the old lady. She smiled at me, showing her crooked teeth. If only she had some way of proving herself reliable.
“I’ll find Nina some other way. Thank you,” I said.
“Suit yourself, child,” she replied and continued on her way.
I stood in the middle of the street. I watched her until the swarm of people swallowed her up. She never once glanced back or suggested she might change her mind. And I never changed my answer. It was done, and perhaps my chance of finding Mother vanished with her. I doubted I would ever see the woman again.
A warm hand touched my shoulder.
Ezra leaned in, whispering into my ear, “Have faith. This is not the end.”
Ezra said those words so confidently I half believed him. I allowed the words to sink in like his hands did against my shoulder. His words might be all I had to survive what would come next.
Ezra released me, and I knew it was time for us to depart from the place he and I had once called home.
Jessalin walked ahead of us. Lukas followed after along with Ezra. I stood for a moment longer, staring at the place and people that now seemed so foreign to me.
“Time’s wasting, sweetheart,” Lukas called out, slowing down and waving me over.
I took a deep breath and exhaled. I had nothing for Claire. Mother had not even left a note to indicate when she would return. This was not her first time leaving unannounced, but she had always left someone with a message to give me.
Instead the only evidence I had found was what appeared to be a note from her lover, and now both of them were far from Hawk’s Tavern. I was more confused and consumed with questions than before.
Was Stefan the messenger this time?
I shook my head of these thoughts. If I allowed them to they would consume me, and our trip back to Ninomay would be that much more painful.
At the least I could say I managed to watch Lukas. He was not a maniac like his father. He was not controlling like his mother. He was probably still the man Claire had once loved, and maybe that was what had prompted her to send him away.
This time when we returned to Claire it was Ezra whose hands carried the blood of another man. I wondered if one night in Rajoor was all it took to change us.
4
Daddy’s Girl
Island of Ninomay
I recognized the lamp post we exited through. It was the one I had considered using when Ezra first gave me a portal key. I half expected Claire to be standing in the yard, waiting for us. Ins
tead Watchers and servants flooded the area.
We approached the palace. The Watchers turned their heads at our arrival. Everyone stopped what they were doing and watched us as if we had returned from a long journey.
I wondered if Claire had since increased the patrol around the palace. The amount of Watchers in the yard left me uneasy. Nothing about it felt right, but Jessalin said nothing and retained a calm expression. If she was not worried perhaps I had nothing to fear.
I looked to Ezra and Lukas for their reactions. Lukas’s face was serious, and Ezra looked somber. They were thinking it too. Something was wrong.
As soon as we walked through the castle doors more Watchers flooded the foyer. They stared at us, and each one lowered their head as we passed them. I glanced over at Lukas, who raised a brow but remained silent.
I wanted to scream, but everyone around us acted like this was business as usual. Even Jessalin fell in line with the others and gestured for us to continue on without her. She stood like a statue amongst her co-workers and retained her silence.
We continued toward the staircase, and finally a familiar and friendly face emerged.
Declan appeared at the top of the staircase except he did not look as I remembered him. His eyes were swollen, his hair like that of a bird’s nest, and he appeared to be in his robe from the previous night. He descended the staircase slowly as if he was too fragile to stand.
My eyes wandered up the stairs, searching for any sign of Claire or the others. My heartbeat quickened at the realization Declan was alone. None of the Council members joined him in greeting us.
Had we interrupted a meeting? Why would Claire request my immediate return if she was unavailable?
“Something’s wrong…” Lukas whispered.
His words sent my mind spiraling in a thousand different directions. Had there been another attack while we were gone? Was that why more Watchers had been called to the palace? I noticed none of them moved from their position. Perhaps whatever caused the commotion had been resolved.
Declan reached the bottom of the stairs and approached me. Without a word he embraced me, holding me closer to his body than felt comfortable.
I wrapped my arms around him, nuzzling my head into his shoulder. I held my breath, uncertain if I wanted to hear an explanation for what we had walked into.
He pulled away from me.
“Clara…” he said. His voice came out husky, and again I tried to brace myself.
Had Jhase not improved? Did something happen to Claire while I was gone? The possibilities were endless. Though Ezra and Lukas stood beside me, I felt more alone now more than ever.
Declan’s eyes lowered to the ground.
“I should not be the one to tell you this, but Claire…”
He shuddered, and my heart broke. What had happened to Claire? Why had no one informed me of the urgency for me to return? I would never forgive myself if Claire suffered because I had left her alone to chase after a monster who failed us both.
“Declan, please!” I whispered. My lips quivered, and I dared not to speak another word in fear I might break down in tears.
He pulled me in, holding me again. I could feel his body shaking. Now I understood the sudden change in patrol around the palace. Something terribly wrong had happened during our time away.
He wrapped his hand around my neck, pulling me in so our faces nearly touched.
“I am so sorry, Clara. Claire wanted to be the one to tell you,” he whispered. A tear dripped down his cheek.
He inhaled deeply and said, “Jhase is… d-dead.”
My body went numb. My legs gave up, and I surrendered to the floor. I crumbled against the wooden floor while the men above me continued saying words I could no longer comprehend. Words I no longer cared to understand.
Everything blurred. I wailed on the floor, holding my hand against my chest, feeling as though Declan had stabbed me with his words. I curled into a ball, rocking myself back and forth.
Warm arms wrapped around me, and I leaned into their body. Lukas, Declan, Ezra… I did not know who it was. I could not see. The tears kept coming, and I stared down at the blur that had once been the floor.
“You are the only father I’ve ever known…”
Those were my last words to Jhase, and now he was gone from this world. His laughter would never fill a room again, his smile would never lighten my mood again. His words and actions would become nothing more but memories.
A pair of strong arms lifted me up. My body was too limp to fight them, and the tears would not stop. I did not care who saw me in this emotional state. They knew, perhaps even better than me, the man I mourned.
I wanted to see Jhase, to comfort Claire, to find Mother and tell her the heartbreak she cost me. I wanted to do so many things, but I had lost control of my body. I had no will of my own.
Someone carried me up the stairs carefully. I could still hear voices, though they sounded muffled over my cries. I let my head drop, hanging loosely like the rest of my body.
We finally stopped, and someone placed me down onto a soft blanket. I wiped tears away from my eyes long enough to see Ezra lay down beside me.
“Do you want to be alone?” he asked gently.
I shook my head, and he pulled me in closer, wrapping his arms around my body. I cried into his tunic, soaking through the fabric.
He held me without saying a word, and I did not attempt to speak. Words were nothing compared to the news Declan had given me.
With Jhase gone I thought even more about my mother. She was the one to blame for this. Because of her I had traveled to Rajoor. I had left my father for an absent mother. I left him for a woman who no longer cared for the well-being of her children.
I had told myself Jhase had to earn the title of father, but unlike Claire, I had been neglected of a lifelong relationship with him. I would never know what it was like to love him for twenty years, to have him to rely on and confine in. I had only known him for the short time we had together, but he had earned the title.
Father… I thought. I remembered the first time I met him the ballroom. The large grin that had covered his face, and the first word out of his mouth.
“Daughter.”
I looked for someone to blame. Mother, Claire, myself, the Council… Perhaps all of us were responsible in some way or another.
Ezra held onto me tightly enough that I believed we were safe. Safety was in this bed, in his arms. And then I thought about Jhase, my father, and the tears poured down again. I wondered where he was and how they had found him. I thought Claire and how she had faced this alone when I should have been by her side.
“I am sorry, Clara,” Ezra said, kissing my forehead.
I wondered if he felt my pain. He had lost his own father at a very young age. He knew this type of loss perhaps better than me. But for me this was the second time I had lost a father.
The day Isaak was locked away I thought I had lost my father.
On this day I lost my biological father. The one who had showed forgiveness to a wife who had betrayed and abandoned him. A man who opened his heart to a daughter he had been ripped away from.
I wanted to be with him. I wanted to find Claire. The determination in my mind was not enough to move my body. Instead I pushed my head deep down against Ezra’s chest and squeezed my eyes shut.
None of this was real.
5
Life For A Life
I opened my eyes and looked up to face Ezra. His cheeks were wet, reminding me this tragedy had not been a nightmare. I shuddered, and he pulled me in closer to him. Our bodies intertwined like we were each other’s worlds. As if by staying together we avoided the darkness. I did not want him to ever let me go.
“Clara…” he whispered.
I cringed at the sound of my own name. I wondered who much time had passed since I heard the news. How much longer could I avoid this? How much longer would I make Claire wait? It was her I should be lying in bed with. She needed my embr
ace as much as I needed hers.
Slowly I moved away from Ezra and laid flat on my back. I could feel his eyes glued to me. I sat up, wincing from the movement, and turned to him.
“Where is she?” I asked.
We both stared at each other in silence, knowing as soon as we left this room the reality of the tragedy would set in. The instant we stepped into the hallway everything would change. Jhase had been more than a father. He had been a leader, and now we were forced to declare a new one.
Ezra tugged my hand gently and gestured for me to follow him. We left the bedroom with the blankets and pillows spread out on the bed. We left behind the last place I knew to be safe.
Ezra held my hand as he guided me into the hallway. I did not know if he knew Claire’s whereabouts. Perhaps someone had spoken to him while I slept. It made no difference to me how we found her. I knew it was time I faced her. I wanted the words to come from her lips.
Ezra led me further down the hall toward the meeting room. The hallway felt emptier than ever, despite the new patrol of Watchers who watched our every move. While the Watchers seemed to surround us I wondered where everyone else was after a tragedy like this.
We reached the door to the meeting room. It was shut, but Ezra opened it with such confidence I was certain this was where my sister awaited my return.
I held my breath as the door swung open.
Claire sat at the front of the table in Father’s chair. She wore a light blue robe. Her hair was tangled, and her eyes reminded me of Declan’s appearance when he greeted us. She stared down at numerous papers laid out in front of her.
I released Ezra’s hand and took a small step forward. I glanced back, watching as Ezra exited the room and closed the door behind him. He left me in the room alone with Claire. Alone with her and my thoughts and the damning silence.
I approached her, feeling as though with each step I made no progress. Suddenly we were two strangers again like we had been that first night in Shadowland. I did not have the words she wanted to hear, and she ignored me as if I myself was a ghost. She stared at the papers like they would somehow revive our father.
Clara and Ezra Page 3
