“You don’t fall for any of them?” Addie asked curiously. She had not heard of nor seen any sign of the man Diana disappeared with from the club. It had not been Brian.
“No. What would be the use of that?”
“People still fall in love during wartime. They marry.”
“And then must wait to see if their husbands come home. And so often they don’t. What about Bryce?”
“What about him?”
“Doesn’t it bother you he has a new woman in his life?” Diana asked, eyeing her.
Addie kicked off her shoes. “No. Why should it?” It had bothered her, but she wasn’t about to tell Diana that. “I’d like to see him happy.”
“Me thinks you protest too much,” Diana said.
Addie ignored her. Bryce didn’t talk to her today. Was he enjoying Julia’s company too much? She pushed the thought away. She wanted him to be happy, although it was hard to see him with Miss Allen. Perhaps she suffered from the same sense of ownership as he seemed to do. It was ridiculous, but time would eradicate such feelings. Time and other people.
She thought of their parting at Langley. Bryce had said little as he returned her to the station. After a brief goodbye, he’d shut the train door. She’d opened the carriage window to wave to him. He was still standing on the platform, a hand raised in farewell. As the train chugged away, he remained until a curve in the railway line blocked him from sight. His distressed confession in the orchard had shocked her. He’d always seemed so sure, so impervious to hurt. She had never seen him cry in all the years she’d known him. Even when he broke an ankle when they were young, after he fell off a horse. She wished she could have done more, said more, to ease his despair. But it was not the fear of his own death which upset him, but those of others. And it wasn’t as though he would go anywhere near the fighting. He would likely spend the war years locked in conference with other diplomats. That was what diplomats did, wasn’t it? She almost convinced herself, but a nagging fear remained that there was much he hadn’t told her. And that he might avoid her because he sensed she would try to draw it out of him. She’d managed to in the past. “Enough, Duchess,” he would say, but he’d always tell her.
During the next few weeks, Addie wasn’t sure why she went on accepting invitations from Monty. Perhaps because he filled her head with nonsense and pushed the nagging worries away for a short while. He moved with a fun-loving crowd and took her to interesting places. He was always the gentleman, and if he had deep feelings for her, or any firm opinions he kept them well in check. Relieved, Addie did not want to decide about her future just yet. So much had happened to her in the last year or so, she needed time to assess how the changes affected her and work out what she wanted. Her job was a blessing, she worked hard for the magazine and often read the work sent to them well into the early hours of the morning. Diana was busy too, collaborating with Florence Grey to find interesting and factual material to fill the pages of the magazine to keep the soul of the publishing company alive.
It was the first time Monty had invited Addie to dine alone with him. He booked a table at a restaurant in Belgravia. How they served such elaborate food was something she didn’t want to consider. Every mouthful was heavenly and the wine superb. He smiled into her eyes in the soft candlelight, as they waited for their coffee and reached across to take her hand. “We seem to get on well, don’t we?”
His question was purely hypothetical. She nodded, wondering what was coming.
“I’d like us to be more than friends, Addie.”
She resisted taking her hand from his. Could she be happy with him, or anyone other than Bryce? Diana had said to grasp any romantic interlude which came her way. Did he want to sleep with her? The thought shocked her. Why couldn’t she be as carefree as Diana and take pleasure where she found it? “What does that mean exactly?”
“I don’t expect us to become lovers, just yet, anyway,” he said with a wry smile.
“One to call a spade a spade, aren’t you, Monty.”
“I find that’s the best way. You’re smart and cautious, Addie. I want you to be my girl. To be mine only.”
Did he think she had a line of men waiting to claim her? Or was he referring to Bryce? She sensed a certain rivalry between them, although she hadn’t thought it included her. She toyed with her wine glass. “I don’t think the time is right for romance.”
“I would say it is exactly the right time for romance.”
The waiter brought their coffee.
“Does this mean you don’t find me attractive?” he asked when the waiter had left. Was that doubt in his black eyes? He always seemed so confident. It made her feel awkward. She couldn’t deny she found him attractive. He was personable and handsome. She liked his company.
“It’s not that.”
“Then I remain hopeful. Unless there’s someone else?”
“No, there’s no one else.”
“Then give us some thought. I’m sure you’ll see the sense of it. It’s unlikely I’ll be in London long.”
“Are you joining the army?” She hated to think another of her friends was going into danger.
“No. Taking a brief trip.”
“But you won’t say where?”
He touched his nose. “Mum’s the word.” Monty rose to pull back her chair and went to pay the check.
As the waiter helped her into her coat, she admitted to curiosity about that trip. Was it something to do with the government? Something hush, hush?
When they stood together at the door of the flat, he stepped close and cupped Addie’s chin in his hand, pressing a brief kiss on her lips.
His eyes searched hers. “Think about it?”
“I’ll see you before this…trip?”
He grinned. “You will. Does that mean you care?”
“You’re my friend. Of course, I care.”
He shook his head and turned to run down the path. A moment later, his motorcar took off down the street.
A light shone beneath Diana’s bedroom door, so Addie tapped. “Are you awake?” she murmured.
“Wait. I'll come out.”
Addie went into her room and took off her jewelry. She kicked off her shoes and removed her apricot embroidered silk evening gown and carefully hung it up.
She was in her pajamas when Diana came in tying the belt of her dressing gown. “There’s something I must tell you.”
“What is it?” Intrigued, Addie sat on the bed and pulled up her legs, clasping her hands in front of her knees.
“You’re home early,” Diana said. “I thought Monty would take you dancing.”
“No, just dinner.” He might have had dancing planned but changed his mind when she turned out to be such a poor date. Addie put a hand to her head, which had begun to ache.
“I have someone in my room.” Diana mouthed, pointing at the wall.
Addie’s head throbbed. “It’s all right. The wine has given me a headache. I’ll take something and go to sleep.”
Just then the door to Diana’s room opened. Addie stared in surprise when the man Diana had been talking to at the club walked out buttoning his coat. He nodded to them as if they were at a dance, crossed the landing, and donning his hat, disappeared down the stairs.
“Didn’t you want to introduce him?” Addie asked.
“I’ve decided not to see him again,” Diana said with a casual shrug of her shoulders. “He was someone to have a bit of fun with.” She eyed Addie carefully. “I hope it doesn’t upset you.”
“Heavens no. Why should it?”
“Because we think very differently about men.”
“I suppose that’s true.” Addie had yet to go to bed with one. She would have to be in love with him, and for them to have a chance of a life together. But the war made a mockery of her dreams. “I suspect I’m a one-man gal,” she said with a smile.
“That’s hardly practical these days, Addie,” Diana said looking sympathetic.
“I know.”
<
br /> Addie thought about those times Diana disappeared without explanation. Was this why she’d resisted Addie coming to London? She had often said she had no intention of marrying and would take lovers. Her despondency when her family pressured her to marry now made sense. How happy she was to be in control of her life, even though money was short. Addie rose from the bed and put her arms around her. “You think I care? That life is not for me, but if you can find some warmth and pleasure with another human being in this awful world, I can only be pleased for you.”
“You should snatch a bit for yourself,” Diana said hugging her back. “They could ship Bryce out at any moment. Or is it Monty?”
“Monty asked me to be his girl,” Addie admitted.
“And will you?”
“No. I don’t want to fall in love with anyone. What if they die? It will break my heart.”
“But that’s life, Addie. War time, or peace time, doesn’t matter. It’s all uncertain. You can’t hide from life because it scares you.” Diana smiled sympathetically and went out closing the door behind her.
~ ~ ~ ~
Bryce met Monty outside the War Office at Horse Guards in Whitehall. They climbed the stairs together. They were soon to undertake a dangerous mission, and he wished he knew the man better. One thing he knew, however, Monty was not the right man for Addie. He’d admitted he worked for the SIS before, but nothing to equal this. Only in minor skirmishes. What that entailed, Bryce had no idea, but he wasn’t convinced Monty hadn’t killed before.
Bryce was there for his language skills. He was proficient in German having studied it at university, and he could speak a smattering of Dutch. He was also familiar with firearms through years of hunting. But Monty was a hardened operative. Bryce wanted to warn Addie not to get involved with him, but they’d sworn him to secrecy. He couldn’t face the thought of Monty making it back to England without him.
Bryce glanced at the man’s set profile. “You’ve been squiring Addie around town, I hear.”
“Yes. Any objection?”
“Naturally.”
Monty paused and turned toward Bryce. “You act like her guardian.”
“I’m a relative, albeit a distant one. Her father asked me to take care of her.”
Monty raised an eyebrow. “How close are you and Addie?”
Bryce frowned. “Not as close as you suggest.”
“Glad to hear it.”
“Addie’s a gently reared girl. If you come back from this, you’ll have blood on your hands.” Bryce glowered at him. “You’ve taken part in similar missions before, haven’t you? She deserves better. I’d like your promise you’ll leave her alone. You can have your pick of women in London.”
“Thank you for the compliment, albeit left-handed,” Monty said with a shake of his head. “That reasoning is just plain skewed. Because you’re a gentleman, you can’t conceive of becoming violent, even to save yourself? You don’t know what you’re capable of until you’re there and your life is under threat. I bet you could kill a man with your bare hands, if it came down to him surviving, or you.”
Bryce winced, acknowledging the truth of it.
“This is more about jealousy. Want her for yourself, don’t you? Why don’t you make a claim? You had plenty of time before I came along. Or has she rejected you?”
Bryce clenched his fists, tempted to plant one on the big-headed man’s jaw. For a moment, fury and frustration made him forget where they were, and what they were about to sign up for. He slowly uncurled his fingers and fought to remain civil. Downright stupid to fight with Monty when he would have to rely on him to watch his back.
“I can rely on Addie’s commonsense,” he said with a shrug. “And her excellent taste. If we both make it back, may the best man win.”
With a sharp nod, Monty, his jaw set, continued up the stairs with Bryce to the floor above.
They reached their destination and knocked. Bryce glanced at Monty, who nodded. They were of the same thought. What awaited them inside?
“Enter,” a man’s voice called.
Chairs were arranged in rows. Uniformed men, army and navy occupied most of them. An army colonel perched his hip on the corner of a desk a large blackboard with a map on the wall behind him.
He nodded to Bryce and Monty as they took the two spare chairs in the front row. “Gentlemen.”
Chapter Seven
Tom came upstairs to warn Diana that airships had been sighted over the coast. “You should leave before nightfall.”
“We’ll be all right. They’re unlikely to come this far,” Diana said.
“Perhaps we should go,” Addie said.
“How can we?” She pushed back her hair with her forearm. “There’s still work to do for tomorrow’s publication.”
There was no arguing with Diana once her mind was made up. Two hours later, seated at her desk, Addie glanced out the office window. Night had fallen. Marian had gone home to her husband. Diana, Fran and Florence were still here.
Addie edited an article which Diana decided must go in the next day’s issue. Her sleeves rolled up, her fingers inky, Diana went into the room where Joe set the pages for the next edition. How happy she was. Addie wondered if she could ever feel that way about her work. She doubted it, her needs depended on other people. Addie wanted to love and be loved. She thought constantly about Monty’s suggestion that they become more than friends. He was well-mannered, interesting and generous, but somehow, she couldn’t imagine lying in his arms. She didn’t love him, and no amount of urging on his part would change that. It would be unfair to him, should she even attempt to be what he wanted. She could not allow him to continue to hope.
She’d explained her feelings to Diana at breakfast while attempting to make sense of it herself.
“You love Bryce,” Diana had said. “And if you don’t want him, let him go.”
“I have.”
“Not entirely. It was unfair of him to pressure you into marrying him.”
“Was it? My father wished it. It was always because of my father.”
“Which made it difficult for both of you to work out your feelings. But Bryce is a man, Addie. It won’t be long before he and Miss Allen are involved in a love affair. She wants him in her bed, and she’ll do whatever it takes to get him. If she hasn’t already.” She rose and tied her scarf around her neck. “I am merely applying commonsense, duck. You’ll be hurt once he commits to Miss Allen and you cease to be important to him. And I’d hate to see you hurt.”
Diana was always brutally frank. Had she never been unsure of anything? “I love him,” Addie was forced to admit. Emotion tightened her throat. “But I’m not about to confess my love for him in the hope I might win him from Julia Allen. I want Bryce to leave England believing I’m coping with life. I refuse to be a burden on him.”
“Your sense of honor is misplaced, Addie.” Diana sighed. “Let’s get the bus.”
Addie pushed the memory away. It was late. They must go home. Intending to persuade Diana to leave, she rose and handed Fran the piece she’d been working on. Now as good as she could get it.
“I hope to be a writer like you one day,” Fran said as she took it. She had changed in the few short weeks she’d been there. She was gaining confidence every day.
“I’m glad you enjoy your work here,” Addie said with a smile.
The girl’s blue eyes sparkled. “Very much. I thought the only thing I could do was marry. I never dreamed I could have a job I enjoyed, It’s amazing!”
“I will help you if you wish.,” Addie fetched her coat from the row of hooks on the wall. She slipped her arms inside and buttoned it up. What on earth was keeping Diana? Their plan to treat themselves to fish and chips tonight, now abandoned, the shop having closed.
Fran’s eyes widened. “Would you help me, Lady Adelaide?”
Addie took a step toward the printing room door. “Addie please. Of course, I…”
A strange, whistling noise followed by a blinding f
lash of light, and the room seemed to collapse in on itself. A chair leg flew across the room and struck Fran. She crumpled where she stood. The floor came up and smacked Addie hard, as a horrendous noise, and a surge of wind swept over her. The desk fell with a bang near Addie’s head.
Silence descended. Winded, lying on her back, she propped herself up on an elbow and stared numbly around. The room was chaotic. Part of the roof gone. The broken furniture scattered about. Addie blinked up at the stars as a chilly wind stirred the scattered papers. Something was wrong with her ears. She couldn’t hear the usual traffic noise from the street. She couldn’t hear anything. And then the screaming began.
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