by M.D. James
Chapter 6
Charles and Martin didn’t get back to Aspen Estates with Jonas until shortly before school. Since Cousin James wouldn’t arrive until late in the afternoon, Martin insisted his nephew go to school. That was fine with Jonas. He had a lot to think about and he needed some distance from his lying Uncle.
“Remember, Dear Nephew, you will sign the papers when you get home!” The consequences of not signing them weren’t said, but Jonas knew his Uncle’s words were meant as a threat.
As Jonas arrived at school, he could tell the mood was different. None of the other children were laughing like they usually did.
“What happened?” Rachelle ran up and asked him as soon as he approached.
“What are you talking about?” Jonas asked. Surely she couldn’t have known about him running away so quickly.
“She’s talking about the suicide,” Rebecca spat as if talking to Jonas left a bad taste in her mouth. When he still didn’t catch on, she clarified it for him. “Your weird friend, Jimmy, or whatever his name was…he killed himself Friday night.”
“His name was Timothy, and he wasn’t weird!” Rachelle shouted at her sister.
Jonas felt his legs go weak, and had to sit down. He didn’t believe it. He had just seen Timothy…how could he have killed himself? Was it because of how he reacted to Timothy’s kiss? A huge wave of guilt overcame Jonas and he shed his first tear over Timothy’s life and death.
School was let out early, due to the distressing news. Students were advised that they could speak to counselors if they were having a hard time understanding or accepting Timothy’s passing. Jonas wasn’t interested in talking to a stranger about it though. Besides that, he wanted to preserve Timothy’s memory. It was the least he could do. His family already suffered enough. They didn’t need to find out their son was gay on top of it all.
It would be several hours before Charles arrived with the car, so Jonas found a soft patch of grass under a tree to lean against. He thought about Timothy and his last day on this earth. He didn’t hear Rachelle approach until she placed a hand on his shoulder and asked if she could join him.
“Sure. I won’t be very good company, though, I’m afraid,” Jonas warned her.
“That’s alright. We were his main friends…we can at least remember the good times,” she suggested.
“I don’t deserve to remember the good times. This is all my fault!”
“Why would you say a thing like that?” Rachelle asked, although she knew Jonas was supposed to be with Timothy for the weekend. She didn’t want to pry, but did wonder if he knew what happened to make Timothy want to kill himself.
Jonas told her all about how Timothy tried to kiss him and how he reacted. “It’s my fault because I made him feel rejected….like a freak!”
She grabbed Jonas’ hands and held them in hers. “You cannot blame yourself. You didn’t know he would kill himself!” He knew she was only trying to help him, just Jonas didn’t feel any better or any less to blame.
“Why are you being so nice to me? I don’t deserve it,” he asked after a long moment of silence.
“I like you.” It was a simple reply, but she did. She liked Jonas more than any of the boys that asked her out each day.
Jonas looked up and felt the connection that she felt. For that small instance, it was as if they were the only two people in the world. He knew this was a girl he would give his hear to. “I know it’s bad timing, but do you think you’d like to go out on a date with me?”
Before she could answer, Rachelle’s father arrived and Rebecca yelled at her to hurry up. “I have to go,” she said as she hurried to grab her school books and head to the car.
Just before reaching the car, she turned around and yelled, “Yes, I would!” She smiled at Jonas who responded with a smile just as big and just as genuine.
As he sat under the tree waiting for Charles, Jonas contemplated his sexuality. He knew that he liked girls…that he liked Rachelle. But, he also knew he loved Bartzen, though he never felt that way about another guy. Maybe if he was gay, Timothy would still be alive he wondered.
Charles arrived before he could give it any more thought.
“Kid! Get in the car,” Charles ordered. Gone were the days when he was professional and respectful to Jonas. Now that Jonas knew coming to Aspen Estates was just a trick to get him to sign over his inheritance to his Uncle Martin, Charles’ true colors were showing through.
