I lean my forehead against Sloane’s, my lips curling upward. I have something big to lose now, and I need to protect her with all I have. “I think I’m gonna shower here from now on. That okay with you? I feel like the water pressure here is better than at my place.”
“Really?” She cocks her head. “The water pressure is better? That’s all you’ve got?”
“You want more?” My grin widens. “Yeah, I know you want more.”
She presses her breasts against me, sliding against my overworked cock and dammit, if he doesn’t twitch again. I know my rebound rate is impressive, but this is crazy. “I want you to tell me the real reason why you want to shower here from now on.”
“How about if I tell you that fucking this perfect pussy is the reason I want to shower here? Is that what you want to hear? That I can’t live without it? That I can’t think straight unless I’m around you?”
Oh, shit. That last part shouldn’t have made it out of my big ass mouth. She blinks fast, as if she questions whether or not I actually said it. Then she smiles and stands on her tiptoes to gently graze my lips with hers. “That’s better.”
After a few minutes of soaping each other up, we finally drag ourselves out of the shower, and collapse on her bed, wrapped in towels. Sloane leans her head on top of me and kicks a leg over mine, dragging a finger over the black swirls covering my chest and arms.
“Why so many tattoos?”
“There’s a lot of my past that I’d like to forget.”
She’s quiet for a second, and I brace myself for the next question. She deserves honesty, but I know I can’t give her that. Not entirely, anyway.
“So you covered it?”
“Yeah. It’s easier to look at myself in the mirror when I don’t have evidence of my mistakes staring me in the face.”
“Were they all mistakes?”
“No.” Some of those fuckers deserved all the shit that came down on them. Like those bastards who kidnapped Shaye. No fucking mercy shown there. But there were some fights that erupted for stupid-ass reasons, mainly because I didn’t know when to keep my mouth shut. I’m just lucky to still be alive. I don’t know how I’ve escaped complete mutilation, if I’m being honest. “But that’s my past, Sloane.” I tilt her chin upward to meet my gaze. “It’s not my future. I’ve done things I’m not proud of, but I’m trying to put that behind me.” I caress the side of her face. “Because I want more for the future.”
“But what about…the fork thing? Are you sure you’re able to put it behind you?”
“It’s never going to be perfect. But I can promise I’ll always do everything to protect you, and that I’ll try to make the right moves, ones that don’t hurt anyone.” Who doesn’t deserve it. I swallow that last bit because I’m not really lying to her if I omit it.
“What if things change and you have to do those things again?” She shakes her head. “I don’t even know what ‘things’ I’m talking about, but they sound pretty dangerous. I just…I understand if you can’t tell me everything, but, Max, sometimes I don’t know who I’m getting with you. This job, it consumes you. And it impacts everything around you. I see it with Nico. I may not know details, but it’s shady as hell. How can you break away from all that? Is it even possible?”
“Not entirely, no. But you mean enough to me where I don’t want to get caught in those situations anymore. I avoid a lot of things I would have done before…because of you.”
“But you can’t tell me more than that, can you?”
I shake my head. “No. I hope you understand.”
“I don’t.” She averts her eyes. “And it makes me think this is all wrong, that whatever we’re doing should stop. But somehow, I can’t stop thinking about you. I feel empty when you’re not next to me. Lost, almost.” Her gaze flickers back to me. “And even though I know there’s a lot of risk in being with you, I can’t imagine being with anyone else.”
My gut clenches. There’s so much I want to tell her, so much I can’t admit to. If she knew the real person inside of me…the one I’ve tried to bury for the better part of the past few months…I know I’d lose her. That’s why I keep fighting, why I can’t let my father’s words incite me.
It may be one thing I’m good at, but there have to be others.
I just need to dig deep and find them.
If I don’t, I’ll lose something way more valuable than my own life.
I’ll lose the life I can have with Sloane.
I swallow hard, hugging her tight against my chest. So many words are caught in my throat, forming a lump that rivals the size of a golf ball. “I love…that you feel that way.” I roll her on top of me. I need to see her face, to look deep into her eyes, to figure out if there’s a chance she’ll ever let herself feel the way I do.
But all I see are concern, apprehension, and doubt.
Not exactly what I’d been hoping for.
I have to convince her that I’m in this and I’ll do whatever it takes to make her comfortable.
Even if I can’t.
Sloane leans her head on her elbows, continuing to stare at me. “Why can’t I break free from this, Max? Why do you have such a hold on me? I barely know anything about you, and yet I’ve known you for as long as I can remember.”
“You know more about me than anyone else,” I murmur, stroking the side of her face. “I can promise you that.”
“So other than the fact that you know how to assault someone with cutlery, I know you’re addicted to Raisinets, video games, and expensive sneakers.” She furrows her brow. “And that you’re a sex god, although I probably shouldn’t have admitted to that. I don’t want your head to swell.”
“You sure about that? You scream for God a hell of a lot when that happens.”
She gives my arm a playful slap. “You know what I mean.”
I grin and smack her ass. “And you seem to know all of the important details already.”
“You’re always evading my questions.”
“I don’t recall you asking anything.”
She’s silent for a moment. “Why is there so much antagonism between you and your dad? What’s the deal with that?”
I let out a deep sigh. “The short answer is that he can be a real prick and wants to blame his failures on someone…and apparently I’m that someone.”
Her expression turns serious. “I always felt really bad when he’d attack you in front of other people. I never understood it, and it made me so angry that he’d never say anything nice, no matter what you did.”
“I guess I just wasn’t Nico. I never had his business sense. I never had his brains. He wanted to turn me into something I’m not.”
“He should be really proud of you the way you are. You’re his son.” The flicker of sadness in her eyes makes my chest tight. It’s been a long time since I thought about any of this. Too much time has passed, too many bad feelings have festered, and too many scars have been caused by all of it. My dad wanted a son who could carry out his plans and give him the power and money he’d always craved but couldn’t actually grasp.
And instead of encouraging me to stick with things I’d been good at, he kept trying to push me toward a life I didn’t want. And after years of going along with what he’d wanted, I pushed back. He didn’t like that very much.
“He never accepted what I wanted. It was all about what he wanted and how I could help him get it.”
“You have a lot of really special gifts. It’s a shame he stood in the way of you pursuing them. Parents are supposed to support their kids’ dreams. It’s part of their job.”
“Not everyone has parents like that.” I shrug. “But I know when I have kids I sure as hell won’t shit all over their dreams, no matter what they are. I’ll make sure they take advantage of every opportunity they can to find their own happiness.”
A sad smile lifts Sloane’s lips. “I’ve been really lucky throughout my life. My dad, as overprotective as he is, has always been my biggest cheerl
eader. He always did everything he could to show me how proud I made him. I think sometimes he overdid it because he knew it was only coming from him.”
“Your mom would have felt the exact same way he did if she were still alive.”
“That’s what he’d always tell me. I think that’s why your dad’s behavior always upset me. He had you, every day, and never appreciated you. I missed out on that with my mom. Even when she was really sick, she’d try to do as much as she could to be involved with my life. She didn’t have much time, so she made the most of it.” She shakes her head, her eyes shining with tears. “You never know when you’re going to run out of time, so you always have to make the best of situations. That way, you can look back and not have regrets. You’ll know that you tried to do the very best for your loved ones when you had the chance. I think my mom would be as bothered as I am about your dad’s behavior.”
I swipe away a tear that streams down her cheek. “You’re incredible. I say that to you a lot, but trust me, it’s not nearly enough. You’re the best person I know, and you make me want to be the best I can be. I need to make sure I’m on the right path to being the guy you deserve.”
“You’re pretty amazing, too.” She drops a kiss on the tip of my nose.
“Speaking of amazing, how’s your speech? Do you want to run through it with me?”
She shakes her head. “No, I want you to hear it for the first time when I give it tonight. I want you up there, right by the stage, looking directly at me so I can focus on you and not completely panic in front of that huge audience. Okay?”
I nod. “I’d do anything for you, Sloane. I mean it. I will always be there for you, whenever you need me.”
“Thank you. I feel more relaxed already.”
“Are you sure there’s nothing else I can do to help you unwind? Do you need another shower, dirty girl?”
She snickers. “Actually, no. I’d rather save it all up for tonight. I have a lot of pent-up anxiety that I’m planning to release. I’d like your help with that.”
“I think I can figure out a way to take a little bit of time off so I can fulfill my part in your plans.”
Sloane’s smile widens, her pink lips curled upward. “I’m so nervous, but excited at the same time. This charity means so much to me. It’s like I have a piece of my mom with me all the time since it’s because of her that I even started it.”
“She’ll be there right next to me, cheering you on.” Just one more thing that makes this woman more than perfect. “So how did you get the idea for this charity anyway? Is it because you lost your mom to cancer?”
“I remember how hard it was on my mom, being sick and having a daughter to raise. She never had a support system, though, other than her nurses. They loved her and were so good to her when she’d come in for treatments, but it wasn’t the same as having a dedicated friend who was always there for you, who knew you as a person, understood your pain and your fears. My dad tried to fill that role because he thought he should as her husband, but it wasn’t enough for her. That’s why I came up with The Buddy System. And testing it out with the kids first was to see if they’d thrive with being involved with that kind of a relationship. So far, it’s been great. Except…”
Her voice trails off and she looks away. “Except what?”
“Well, not every kid responds the same way. For the most part, they do really well with their buddies. But sometimes, there are instances where the kid isn’t really open to the idea.” She turns back to me, her eyes sad. “Like that boy Eli I told you about. It’s so sad, but he’s completely despondent. No parents to care for him, just an older brother. I tried talking to him recently, and he completely shut down. Can you imagine being so young, finding out you’re sick, and not having parents to count on? How horrible must that feel?”
“I have no fucking idea.” I shake my head. “Poor kid. It sucks to have deadbeat parents. Can he beat it?”
“I’m not sure. I think he’s going to need surgery. But he’s got a serious chip on his shoulder, and I really want to help, but he’s not having it.”
“Give him some time. I’m sure he’ll come around once everything sinks in.”
“I don’t know. He doesn’t seem to want anyone around. And his brother isn’t exactly the warm and fuzzy type either.”
“They’re going through a lot. Can you blame them for keeping to themselves? They have two parents they can’t count on for love, support, or anything else. They probably don’t trust many people. And they’ve got to be scared. How old are they?”
“The boy, Eli, is twelve, and the brother, Tommy, is twenty-one.”
Her voice cracks a bit, and every time she cries, it makes my heart hurt. I try to go for some humor to see if I can stop the tears before they can start. “I’d like to point out that you just broke your patient confidentiality contract, and frankly, I’m a little shocked.”
Her eyes widen and she slaps a hand over her mouth.
“I guess you really don’t get the importance of confidentiality agreements.” I roll my eyes. “Now what are you going to do to keep me quiet?”
“I have a few ideas.”
“When do I get to hear them?”
She pokes me in the chest. “I already told you. Later.”
“That’s a long time to wait. I’m going to see a lot of your esteemed colleagues tonight. How am I going to keep my mouth shut? I may be really tempted to say something…unless you can convince me not to…”
Her hand reaches down, fingers grazing my inner thighs. My cock springs to life. Again. Holy shit, this is a record.
I like the direction this is heading. Now let me see if I can try and keep my mouth closed and off of her pussy.
Max
It’s barely been two minutes since I said goodbye to Sloane and it feels like forever.
What the fuck is wrong with me? Since when do I start acknowledging feelings and shit like that? When did I grow a vagina, for fuck’s sake? I jog down her front steps and pull out my keys. I parked my car farther down the street, so that way her—
“Hello, Max.”
Dad won’t see it. I paste a smile on my face and twist in the direction of his less-than-thrilled voice. “Hey, Mr. Camarena. It’s nice to see you.”
He folds his arms over his massive chest. I’m about his height, but he’s got me in girth. The man could easily smother me with his hulking body, and that’s saying a lot since I’m not exactly a featherweight.
“I noticed your car here this morning when I went out for the paper.” He narrows his eyes at me.
“Oh, yeah, well, I followed Sloane back here after her shift at the hospital. Where I met her. Because I wasn’t here over night.”
He nods and says nothing, so I just keep letting my mouth run. “So, the paper. Did you see anything good? Any news to report? I didn’t get a chance to read it before I left my house this morning to meet Sloane at the hospital.” I hope he heard it the first time, but just in case he didn’t, I thought it was good to repeat myself for good measure.
His lips purse. That’s never a good sign. “News, news, news…let’s see. Other than finding out my daughter is still spending time with you, no. I can’t say there was anything equally eyebrow-raising.”
At least he didn’t see my car the last time I showed up in the middle of the—
“Oh, other than finding your car here the first time you showed up in the middle of the night. And if memory serves, you didn’t meet Sloane at the hospital after her shift that time because she wasn’t actually working that day.”
Fuck me. Does he have hidden security cameras out here or something? Some fancy system Sloane doesn’t know about? I wish I knew how to hack a network.
Shit, I wish I had a computer…
“Yes, well I, um, I had a new video game I wanted to show her, and—”
“At three o’clock in the morning? Must have been some game.” He creeps closer, a menacing look on his face and I actually shake a little
bit. I hate myself for it, but I’m sure it makes him chuckle inwardly. Because on the outside, he looks ready to tear me apart with his bare hands, a death sentence I’d very much like to avoid.
“Sir, I know what you might be thinking, and I understand your concerns, but…” But what? Say something! It doesn’t matter what! He won’t believe you anyway, but it’ll buy some time before you need to take off when he grabs that metal pole sitting on the side of the road and smashes your skull in with it! “…but I assure you there was nothing going on other than a little competition. Er, video game competition.” I shrug and force a smile. “What can I say? She’s my best teammate.”
“Max.” He steps closer and drops a hand onto my shoulder. The weight of it pounds me into the ground like I’m a nail and he’s a very fucking powerful hammer. “Let me tell you something. You may think I live under a rock, but I assure you that I am very aware of the comings and goings of my daughter and her guests. And let me tell you something else…she doesn’t have overnight guests, for video games or anything else.”
“Well, uh, this was a very unique situation because, um, the team we were competing with is in, um, China, so it was afternoon for them. That’s why we had to play so late here in Jersey. See, it’s all because of that time difference.”
“Do you really expect me to swallow that bullshit?” He leans his face close to mine, his eyes narrowed to slits. Speaking of slits, I bet he’d like to slash the shit out of me right now.
Please don’t be packing a fucking knife, Mr. Camarena…
“Actually, I could just take a look at the security camera feeds from inside of her place if I wanted the truth. What do you say? Maybe we should take a look at those together.”
“That’s sick!” Oh, Christ. I didn’t mean for that to slip out.
His face twists into a grimace. “Really. I can’t imagine why if all you were doing was playing a video game!” He fists the sides of my coat. “I know what you’re all about, Max. I know what you do, and I know where you do it. I do not want my daughter anywhere around it or around you, for that matter.”
Betraying the Mob (The Mob Lust Series Book 3) Page 12
