Mary could understand the motives of a lonely woman, especially one who’d lost their own child. Guilt crowded out her ill-feelings. “I’ll try and remember. Thanks.”
“Keep in mind, though, if you ever need to vent, I’m here for you.”
After they hung up, Mary finished her toast and tea. Freckles grinned and wagged his tail, like he approved. She petted him and thanked him for his concern. “I’m just fine, Freckles. Nothing to worry about. Feeling sick is good when it comes to pregnancy.”
Freckles sighed and placed his chin on her thigh. She could almost hear him promising to take care of the baby once she or he came.
“You’re just like your master.” She scratched under his chin. “Sweet as can be.”
As promised, the ladies who called themselves the Wags showed up at the house a little over a week later. The gifts had been opened and now they were on to the tea and tiny sandwiches portion of the afternoon, with Maggie’s album playing in the background. Honor’s gift was an embarrassing set of lingerie, completely inappropriate given that soon Mary wouldn’t be able to fit into her current granny underwear, let alone these filmy, miniscule pieces of lace sewn together. Maggie and Violet had both gifted her with art—a hand-blown glass vase and a watercolor landscape of the ocean, respectively. Kara’s gift had surprised her. It was a silver bracelet with four charms: the letter “L”, a baby rattle, a heart with the word “sister,” and a wine glass.
“To represent Lance, the baby, and new friendships. Someday we’ll be able to drink wine again, so that’s a promise of fun times to come. And the heart is us. Sisters.”
Oddly moved, Mary fought back tears. “Thank you. I love it. Thanks, all of you. This wasn’t necessary.”
“I almost forgot, I brought cake,” Violet said. “Since we can’t have wine, we’ll have the next best thing.”
They all gathered around the kitchen table. Outside the picture windows, the fog had disappeared. Afternoon sun peaked through the clouds and flooded the room with light. Mary pulled the shades down a smidge to combat the brightness and joined the rest of them at the table.
Mary listened as the other ladies chatted about one thing or the other. She was an outsider. Words never came easily when she was in a big group. These women intimidated her more than most. Make an effort. Think of something to say.
She should have had Lance leave Freckles instead of taking him out for a day with the human Dogs. His reassuring grin would really help right now.
“How are you all feeling?” Honor asked. “As the only one here not pregnant, I feel the need to wait on you all hand and foot.”
“I’m excited, but nothing compared to Brody. He can’t talk about anything except, ‘when the baby comes’,” Kara said. “He already hired Trey Mattson to decorate the nursery, even though we won’t know the sex of the baby until he or she comes.”
“You’re waiting to find out?” Maggie asked.
“Yes, aren’t you?” Kara asked.
“No way. I had to know,” Maggie said.
“Past tense?” Honor asked. “Are you holding out on us?”
“Yes, we just found out. We’re having a girl.” Maggie patted her tummy with a dreamy smile. “Won’t Jackson be cute with a little girl?”
Everyone nodded.
“There’s something about men and their little girls. Jubie has Zane wrapped around her little finger,” Honor said. “It’s ridiculous.”
“No one is as ridiculous as Kyle is about Mollie Blue,” Violet said. “If it weren’t for me, the child would grow up spoiled rotten.”
“All these babies,” Honor said with a mournful sigh. “We’ll never get another girls’ night out ever again.”
“Fortunately, there’s Flora,” Maggie said. “She’s already making the rounds with baby advice.”
“Violet, are you holding out on us? Did you find out the sex of your baby yet?” Honor asked. Violet and Maggie were both due the middle of August. She would have had her twenty-week appointment already.
Violet pushed her hair away from her eyes and buried her face in her hands. “Kara already knows. I’m having twins.” The words came out muffled, but there was no doubt what she said. “Jackson could see it right away in the first ultrasound. Two placentas. Two babies.”
“No way,” Maggie said.
“It can’t be,” Honor said.
Violet looked up, her mascara smudged. “It is. Four children under five. Kyle keeps reminding me that Dakota will be five by the time the babies come. As if that helps.”
“Two placentas? That means they’re not identical?” Honor asked.
“Right.” She held up her hand before anyone had the chance to speak. “It gets worse. Boys.” Violet burst into the ugly cry. “Two wild boys. Two Kyles.”
Maggie scooted her chair closer to Violet and put her arm around her friend’s shoulder. “It’ll be just fine. Two Kyles will be wonderful.”
“No, it won’t. Between him and Dakota, I’m barely surviving as it is. You should see how they roughhouse. Last night they broke a lamp at the rental house. Our new house won’t be ready until summer, probably right around the time I’m supposed to give birth to twins.” She started to wail.
“You poor thing.” Maggie patted her back with a helpless glance at the others. “A big family’s a blessing though.”
“Is it?” Violet snuffled. Mary handed her a wad of napkins.
“I think so,” Mary said. “I always wanted a big family.”
“Me too,” Honor said softly.
Violet lifted her head and hiccupped. “I’m sorry, Honor. I’m such a bad friend.”
“No, no, don’t be sorry,” Honor said. “I’m going to get my big family. Just not as quickly as you’re getting yours.”
“Oh, God.” Violet wiped her eyes and picked up her fork. “I need more cake.”
“So, Mary, we have something we want to talk to you about.” Kara looked over at Maggie as if for help.
Mary swallowed the butterflies that leapt from her stomach to her throat.
“You know how the Dogs can’t keep their mouths shut or out of one another’s business?” Maggie asked.
Mary nodded. They knew. Lance had told them. She would bludgeon him with the heaviest book in the house the moment he returned home.
“Lance told them, and they told us,” Honor said.
“Told you what?” Mary asked, quietly, as she waited for the hammer.
“We know you guys married for the insurance,” Kara said.
“Yes.” What else could she say? “I suppose it makes you hate me all the more.”
“We don’t hate you,” Honor said. “Don’t be silly. I’m glad Lance was able to offer you insurance. It makes perfect sense, especially given your health concerns.”
“I understand why you didn’t want your parents to know,” Violet said. “One of the worst days of my life was when I told my parents I was pregnant with Dakota.”
“My dad wouldn’t understand why we did what we did,” Mary said. “Not just a marriage for business reasons, but casual sex.”
“Is that all it was?” Honor asked with her eyes on her plate.
“We agreed it would be a one-night thing,” Mary said. “But then, you know, the baby made it more complicated. The moment the baby comes, we’ll file for divorce and commit to co-parenting as best friends. Lance deserves to marry the love of his life, not be stuck with me.”
“You’re best friends?” Maggie asked. “That part’s real, right?
Mary nodded. “Lance gets me, which is more than a person like me should expect.”
“Don’t say that,” Violet said with her mouth full of cake. A piece of frosting stuck to the end of her nose. “You deserve the best, just like the rest of us.”
Maggie used a tissue to wipe Violet’s nose.
“Anyway, it’ll make it that much sweeter when you fall in love for real,” Honor said.
“What?” Mary asked.
“I don’t m
ean to brag or anything, but I called it on Kara and Brody long before it happened. And I knew Violet and Kyle had the hots for each other even when they were sworn enemies.”
“I knew you and Zane were in love,” Maggie said. “From the first time I saw you two together.”
“You and Lance. Meant to be,” Honor said. “I knew it when I saw him kiss you on New Year’s Eve.”
“No, you have it wrong. I don’t feel that way about Lance.”
“He feels that way about you,” Honor said.
Mary looked at her piece of untouched cake. What could she say to that? Honor, as usual, had it right. “I’m not in a place where I can be in a relationship.”
“Lance is a great man,” Kara said. “He’s nothing like your first husband.”
“It’s hard to recover from betrayal. I totally get it, but Lance isn’t the cheating kind,” Honor said.
“None of our husbands are going to cheat on us,” Maggie said.
Mary scraped a bit of frosting from the corner of her plate. This is the conversation she wanted to avoid. They didn’t need to hear her opinion on their marriages.
“I’d kill Zane and he knows it,” Honor said.
Was she serious? Did she really think Zane wouldn’t eventually wander? He was surrounded by sexy women throwing themselves at him.
“Jackson was loyal to me for twelve years and he thought I was dead,” Maggie said.
“I trust Kyle with my life,” Violet said. “He would never cheat on me.”
“What about the nanny? That Mel girl.” Why had she blurted that out?
“Perfect example of why I trust him,” Violet said. “Before we were even together, she made a pass at him and he rejected her because he was in love with me.”
“Before Violet, Kyle would’ve been all over it,” Honor said.
“Thank goodness you saved him from himself,” Kara said.
“Are we talking about the woman who worked for Kyle as a night nanny?” Maggie asked. “Super young? Fake boobs?”
“Yeah, the one who reminds Kyle of a cat,” Honor said.
“She’s a terrible person,” Violet said. “Seriously creepy. I half expected to wake up with her over my bed with a knife aimed at my heart.”
Mary thought about how she’d come into the bookstore asking for billionaire and nanny romances. Should she mention it? Instinct told her to keep quiet. There was no reason to scare Violet. The girl was sad but probably harmless.
“God, this is good cake,” Violet said.
Honor passed her uneaten piece down to Violet. “You better have mine.”
“I’m going to get fat.” Violet grabbed the plate and stabbed her fork into the deepest part of the frosting. She pulled it out and looked at it lovingly before popping it into her mouth.
“You’re eating for three,” Kara said. “But you should be careful. I say that as a medical professional, not as your friend.”
“I hate you right now,” Violet said.
Honor turned to Mary. “I’m bossy, so forgive me, but I’ve known the Mullen brothers for a long time. I knew their father before he died. Those men, like the rest of the Dogs, don’t have a cheating bone in their gorgeous bodies. They were raised right, as were Zane and Jackson.”
Violet waved her fork. “Kyle wasn’t raised right. His mother left his family, which broke his heart. I know he would never break up our family for meaningless sex. Even if I get really fat.”
“You’re not going to get fat.” Honor returned her focus to Mary. “You’re afraid to get hurt. But you say Lance is your best friend and clearly there’s an attraction between you—that right there is love. Just think about it before you walk away from someone who could make you happier than you ever thought possible.”
“You are bossy,” Maggie said.
“I’ve learned to accept it about myself,” Honor said.
“It’s called leadership,” Violet said.
An idea struck Mary out of nowhere. Little Women. God knew changing the subject was a great idea. “You ladies remind me of the characters from Little Women.”
“Wait, which one am I?” Honor asked.
“Amy,” Mary said.
“The young vain one?” Honor asked, laughing.
“The extra pretty one,” Maggie said. “And talented.”
“You’re definitely Beth,” Mary said to Maggie.
“Great. She dies young,” Maggie said.
“That was before antibiotics,” Kara said.
“And Kara, you’re definitely Meg,” Mary said.
“Of course, I am,” Kara said. “She’s the oldest and most sensible. And, the first to get married.”
“That leaves only Jo. There’s no way I’m Jo,” Violet said. “She was the smartest one. That’s definitely not me.”
“You’re very smart,” Maggie said. “Plus, she was feisty like you.”
“No, Mary is Jo,” Kara said. “And Violet you’re Marmee.”
They all collapsed in laugher at the sight of Violet’s appalled expression.
“Oh my God, you’re right. I’m even going to have the four kids to prove it.” She held up her empty fork. “And a huge mama stomach.”
Kara gasped as her face twisted in pain.
“What is it?” Honor asked.
“I don’t feel well.” Kara got to her feet. “I need the bathroom.” She scurried across the floor to the bathroom just off the front entrance of the house.
“She didn’t look good,” Maggie said.
“What could be wrong?” Honor asked, her brown eyes wide with fear.
A cry like that of a wounded animal came from the bathroom. Maggie leapt to her feet and ran like a gazelle to the door. Mary and the other two followed closely behind. “Kara, what is it?” Maggie asked.
No answer, other than a muffled yowl, this time like a kitten in search of its mother.
Not this. Not Kara. Mary knew that sound. She’d miscarried.
Maggie, obviously panicked, tried to open the door. It was locked. She fell to the floor. “Kara, open the door. Please.”
“Do you want us to call 911?” Mary found her voice.
The crying behind the door stopped. “It’s too late.”
“Are you bleeding?” Mary asked.
“Yes. It’s too much. I know. I’m a nurse. It’s happened.”
The ladies all exchanged looks, frozen with uncertainty.
Honor stepped forward and tapped on the door. “Kara, it’s me. What do we do?”
“Get Brody.”
While Honor called Brody, Violet and Maggie managed to get Kara out of her bloody clothes and into a warm bath. Mary, needing something to do with her idle hands, dumped the clothes into the washer. When she passed by the bathroom, she saw that Honor and Maggie knelt by the tub, taking turns dripping water down Kara’s back as she wept into her hands.
Mary went out to the front room to wait with Violet. They huddled together on the couch. “What’s taking so long?” Mary asked. “They’re only up the road.”
“We called only five minutes ago,” Violet said.
“Seems like an hour.”
“Yes.”
Mary strained, hoping to hear a car barreling down the driveway. Only the sound of waves below the cliff greeted her.
“Did you get to hold her? Meme?” Violet asked.
“I did. We gave her a proper burial too.”
“I can’t imagine how awful that was,” Violet said.
“Thank you.” She patted her friend’s hand.
“Are you scared about the new baby?” Violet asked.
“I wish the answer was no.” If she lost this baby, there would be no more. This one was her only chance.
“The first thing I thought of when they told me I was carrying twins was the risk that I could lose one. It terrified me.”
“I don’t wish it on anyone,” Mary said.
“What should we do for Kara?”
“Just be there for her when she’s ready t
o talk. I wasn’t ready before my mother died. After I lost her, it was double grief, knowing that she was the only one in the world that grieved for Meme like I did.”
“I’m here if you ever want to talk now.” Violet took her hand and they sat there like little girls.
“It may take Kara a while to bounce back,” Mary said.
“And with all of us pregnant. It’ll just make it worse,” Violet said. “I feel like such an idiot about crying over the twins.”
Mary squeezed her hand. “Women spend way too much time apologizing for their feelings, worried over how we might hurt someone else just by expressing our own worries or grief. You have every right to be scared.”
They grew quiet, still holding hands.
From the stereo, came the sound of Maggie’s singing, clear and resonant. The last track of the album was a cover of Amazing Grace. It had been Jackson’s mother’s favorite hymn.
Mary’s eyes stung.
No, please, don’t think of her. Not now. You must to stay strong for Kara. There’s no room for your own grief.
Mary drifted back to the day they’d buried Meme.
It was early spring in a graveyard outside of Boston. The air smelled of freshly cut grass. The sun was high and bright in a cloudless sky. A day made for children to play in the park, or for new mothers to push their babies in strollers. The beauty hurt her, ripped her skin from her body. She wanted to scream at God. How could you make a beautiful day like this and take my Meme?
Her parents, a few friends from Mary’s work, and Chad and his mother gathered around the tiny white coffin. It was covered with pink roses, so many Mary wondered briefly if her father had ordered the wrong amount. She listened to the pastor read from a passage in the Bible, but the words did not penetrate her foggy mind. She fixated on the pink rose right in the middle of the small coffin. It was the smallest bud she’d ever seen, not yet ready to bloom. Why had they picked it when the rose should’ve been given the chance to bloom? Damn them all. Why would they do such a thing? It was unconscionable.
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