“What’s funny is how much effort you put into trying to pretend you’re mad when I can tell by your voice when you actually are. Which you’ll probably be shortly.”
And here it came. One of these times, he was going to skip this talk. Every week, I hoped he’d give up. Guess it wouldn’t be this time.
“There’s a meeting tomorrow,” he said.
“I’m always there,” I said shortly, and there was no faking this time.
“That’s not my point, and you know it.” His laughter was gone.
My sigh was just short of morphing into a groan. I was going to have to find a different path to walk on the eve of the weekly meetings. Without fail, it always came to this, and I wasn’t ready. Everyone else might want it, but I didn’t, and he wouldn’t let it go.
“You need to step up,” he said.
“I have stepped up. I’ve done as much stepping as I’m capable of without something to get close enough to attack.”
“That’s bullshit.”
Now we were both angry.
“Fine. You’re right. How about I’ve done as much stepping as I’m willing to? Does that work for you?” I walked faster, knowing it was futile, but it served as an outlet so I didn’t try to punch him.
“You’re the one that wanted to stay here, fought tooth and nail to do it,” he said, keeping pace.
“Staying, living, and working is different than leading the war.” As any moron would see if he wasn’t a stubborn ass. I wasn’t quite ready to devolve our fight to that level, but it was coming—maybe next week, in fact.
“When you patrol the streets at night, what exactly is it that you think you’re doing?”
He was like a dog with a bone.
“See? This is the problem. I’m not patrolling the streets. I’m taking a walk as I check up on things like a concerned citizen, who will do her fair share. Can you just back off?”
We’d nearly double-timed it back to the office, and I grabbed for the door.
“No, I can’t.” He planted a hand on it, keeping it closed.
“Why?” I asked, ready to devolve into kicking and screaming in a minute. That was not the look of a leader, and maybe he needed to see that.
“Because people look to you, and you need to step up for them. So are you going to step up tomorrow, or are you going to blend into the wall again?” He moved his hand out of the way, as if expecting me to be a mature adult and do what was needed. He didn’t realize that I’d come about as far as I was capable of in the time allotted, and it was quite a bit. But I was not going to be anyone’s leader. No way.
I made a fast grab for the door and swung it open. I stood at the threshold and said, “I’m going to blend like a damned chameleon.”
Leader my ass. Wars were a messy thing. I was a soldier and that was it. If someone died, there wouldn’t be any blood on my hands. Let someone else lead them to their deaths. It wouldn’t be me.
3
Bautere paced around me, walking on his hind legs and looking more man than bear today. He scanned me as I turned with him, making sure he couldn’t find an opening.
He made a noise that was part huff, part growl. I nodded at his sign of approval but didn’t drop my guard.
He stopped circling. “You’ve come a long way since you first came. I’ve done all I can for you. The rest you must learn on your own.”
I relaxed my fighting stance and grabbed a heavier jacket that was thrown over a branch. “Why does that sound like you’re kicking me to the curb?”
He angled his head to the side. “What does that mean?”
“That you’re dumping me.” I pulled the end of my ponytail out of my jacket, then put my attention into buttoning up while I waited to hear his verdict.
“I would never dump you, as you say.”
I finished buttoning and glanced up. “So we’ll still practice sometimes?”
“Whenever you desire. Now come. There’s something you need to see.” He dropped down to all fours and began to walk, looking more the bear now.
This wasn’t what we did. We’d meet in the field. We’d practice. We’d both leave, going our separate ways. We never walked anywhere. I didn’t hesitate to follow him, and fast. His white coat blended into the snow, and I’d lose him if I didn’t.
Bautere might practice a little rough, but he would never kill me. In some ways, I trusted him more than anyone. After all, he’d pulled his punches more times than either of us could count. He could’ve easily slipped a couple blows that would’ve laid me up and left me vulnerable. His control was remarkable, come to think of it.
His pace was fast, as I was nearly jogging after him.
“A little farther,” he said.
I’d never been this far from town, or into this corner of Xest. Looking at the hulking figure of Bautere, I thought that maybe no one had, and for a good reason.
But it wasn’t just Bautere that lent a certain ruggedness to this place. There was something different about this area, with its white expanses and fewer trees. The air felt crisper and somehow more unforgiving.
There was something alive in this place, an ancient knowing of sorts, and I could feel the tingle of power. The more we walked, the more it nearly pulsed.
Finally he stopped at the foot of a small hill, not saying anything for several moments.
“Where are we going?” I asked after a few moments. I didn’t typically like to rush Bautere. I’d learned that he took the time he was going to, no matter what you did.
Bautere was staring at the small mound and didn’t answer for another few minutes.
“I dreamt of bringing you here. My kind take dreams very seriously.”
Okay, so he’d had a dream. That was interesting…I guessed. More important, how many of his kind were there? I’d never seen another, nor heard of any mentioned. Were they friendly? Would I spot them coming if they snuck up in the snow?
He began to walk again. “Come. There is someone else who wants to meet you.”
I would’ve followed him into hell right now to not be left alone with an unknown number of his kind around.
We hadn’t gone much farther before we were descending a slope and ducking into a small opening in the rocks. Torches were lit as we entered what became more of an expansive cavern. Ten feet or so farther, there was a large wooden door.
Bautere let us into a room sparsely furnished with a table and pelts scattered about the place. There was a fire burning in a pit in the center, with a hole above in the ceiling that smoke billowed up to.
“Sit,” he said, pointing to the pelts as he went through another interior door.
I settled down, waiting, wondering why someone wanted to meet me. Was it another one of his kind? I fidgeted with the fur I was sitting on, taking in the place. It was rustic but comfortable. There were iron pans sitting on a shelf and a well in the corner that must’ve been tapped into some sort of spring, as the water seemed to constantly move.
The sound of someone approaching drew my eye to the doorway. Bautere stepped out first but was followed by a smaller version of himself. There was something more diminutive about his companion, and feminine as well. Her gait was slower, as if old bones ground with each movement, but there was still a strength and dignity about her.
“This is Zuda. She is the leader of our kind.”
Leader? I hadn’t known there were others until today, and now there were enough to need a leader? Bautere wasn’t one for words, but maybe he could’ve given me a few details after hours and hours together.
She approached me, and continued to get closer until her muzzle was uncomfortably close. Young teeth or old, those choppers were going to hurt if she decided to take a bite.
I tried not to fidget or move fast. Or to even breathe. I trusted Bautere, but this was a fully grown polar bear sniffing me. Would it be like a dog that could decide it didn’t like something about my scent? Forget a bite—one swipe of her paw might kill me.
She continued to
sniff me for another moment, and then pulled back a few feet, taking me in from every angle. An eternity later, she sat.
“I believe you are good. That is not the issue. Your magic is very strong. That I’d already gathered. What I don’t know is, are you strong enough for whatever is to come?”
It was a little hard to answer an open-ended question when I wasn’t quite sure what was to come. That didn’t stop her from staring at me as she waited for an answer.
Would I be strong enough? A year ago I was happy hiding away for the rest of my life. Even now, there would still be a knee-jerk reaction to run and hide. I was stronger than I’d thought, but to manage what was to come? How could I ever make that sort of presumption?
“I’ll try to be. I hope I will be. I don’t want to fail.”
She nodded, as if I’d passed one test. “You’re humble. That’s good. No one knows what they can handle until they have to. I believe you are strong enough, because you’ll have to be. There are many counting upon you to fix this world. If this place perishes, so do we. There is no other place for us. If it is destroyed, so are my people. So are many. You don’t have the luxury of failure. Do you understand?”
I nodded. I understood too well, and I didn’t want to. She was right. Where would her people go if Xest was ever destroyed? Certainly not to Rest. There was no way to pass as normal for them. They were tied to this land like no other. I might hold these people’s lives in my hands, and I didn’t want to let them down.
“Yes,” I replied. Could I do anything to save them? That was an unknown. “I can make something that might ease your pain,” I said, feeling wholly inadequate. She was asking me to save Xest and I was offering her a tonic for age?
“The magic that Bautere tried to give me? I appreciate the offer, but no. I don’t know how much more time I have left in this world, but I’ve already received much. When the spirit comes for me, I’ll be ready. I can leave knowing Bautere will lead. I’ve done what I was put here to do.” She leaned closer. “Now you must fulfill your duties.”
I nodded again, afraid to commit to something that might be impossible.
4
I yawned as I leaned my head on the back of the couch, looking at the lists. There were three columns: With Us, Against Us, and Unknown. The first two were fairly even. The third seemed a mile long.
Hawk was standing beside the list in the crowded room. He liked standing, and even more so when he was ready to fight. Unfortunately, we were having a problem nailing down our enemy to one spot, or one form, or pretty much nailing down anything at all. We still didn’t know what it was, where it came from, or where to find it. Had it always been here and just revealed itself? Had it come from somewhere else? Who knew? Certainly not us.
It was tough when it felt like treading water all the time. It didn’t want to show itself. This had turned into a war with an invisible enemy. There would be grouslie attacks weekly, but Dread wouldn’t show its face. Every week, we talked about what to do and how to pin it down. The meetings never lasted very long.
I glanced around at the people filing in and got sloppy, catching Hawk’s gaze. The silent message was not flattering.
Okay, maybe he was right. I’d been reclining my way through months of them, perfecting my ability to ignore Hawk’s gaze as I did. On meeting nights, I’d don my comfiest pants, grab a throw blanket off the back of the couch before they all got nabbed, and settle in with a hot tea before all the good seats were taken. These meetings weren’t much to begin with. Try sitting through one on a hard stool with no back. Near torture, if you asked me, which nobody did, thankfully.
He kept glaring.
I got it. He wanted me to step up. Now Zuda wanted me to step up. This stepping-up thing was becoming a contagion, and I wasn’t ready to catch it. I’d stepped up enough, and now I was supposed to be up in front? No, and definitely not today.
Considering the monkeys had woken me up five times last night as they laughed at their own jokes, and then I had to meet Zuda as she dumped the fate of their race on me, I’d recline my way through this weekly ordeal.
Musso walked to the list as the crowd finished settling in. Hawk was too busy glaring my way.
“Any updates on the Unknown? Anything suspicious noticed?” Musso knocked on the board with his knuckles.
The Unknown name didn’t make it to a different list unless someone was willing to bet their lives on the person’s allegiance. No one spoke, and a few shook their heads. It was hard to see something out of sorts when people were hunkered down all the time.
Hawk was so intent on me stepping up, but what would it change? As we went through the normal roll calls and usual questions that went unanswered, week after week? People would slowly fade out of the room, as they always did. No one could blame them. They probably had things in their life they could do instead of sitting here and trying to pretend we were being productive. Even Hawk was leaning against a table as if all the drive had leached out of him and his mind was somewhere else.
By the time Bibbi raised her hand, no one was left in the room but the people who lived here. The only reason I was on the couch still was that I was too tired to go upstairs.
Musso squinted, as if he didn’t understand what was going on.
“Bibbi, you don’t have to raise your hand,” Hawk said.
Bibbi smiled as she slowly lowered it. “How are we supposed to fight something when we don’t know what it is? We don’t know what to target. We can’t even locate it to try to burn it and find out if it likes fire, or try to drown it to discover if it breathes in water. I mean, we can’t even see it. We need to change up our game plan before no one even shows up for meetings anymore and we’re a scattered group essentially fighting on our own.” She scanned the room, looking at the few of us left.
And I’d thought Bibbi was going to be useless other than moral support, which was good in its own way. Who knew she’d be so brilliant at bringing our failures to the forefront?
“We all know that, Bibbi,” Hawk said, crossing his arms. “Was there something else?”
“Well, yes. I have an idea.” She was beginning to wring her hands, and then she got to her feet, as if she couldn’t stay seated any longer.
“What is it, Bibbi? We all want to hear,” I said. What a bald-faced lie that was. The mental groans that were surely echoing throughout the room were nearly deafening my senses. Still, if Hawk was going to make us do this weekly, when I could’ve already been doing my rounds, then why should I be the only tortured soul?
Bibbi shot me a co-conspirator smile. We’d come a long way since I’d first seen her stealing my job. Now I viewed her as a helpful replacement, when we had work, anyway. That had dropped off significantly with contractors not wanting to leave their house or declare a side, which working with us was viewed as doing.
Bibbi kept her attention on me. “Hawk has one of those stones, right? A testing stone? The kind that flashes colors and such?”
Hawk’s glare spiked a few degrees hotter as he stared in my direction. There was the slightest shake of his head. Clearly, he wanted me to say no. But why in the world would I do that? He had one, and if she had a good idea, we should hear her out.
“He does,” I said, pretending I’d missed the message. If he wanted help, he had to take everyone’s ideas seriously. He couldn’t rule every move of the group, no matter how much he wanted.
“Is there any correlation between colors and magic?” she asked.
I turned to Hawk. His glare looked no friendlier than it had a second ago. “Is there?”
His jaw shifted. “It’s not an exact science, but there’s a correlation between brightness and strength. Sometimes colors indicate certain things as well.”
“Why don’t we see if we can bring the stone closer to where it’s present and see what happens?” Bibbi said, near bouncing.
Hawk cleared his throat. “Because we can’t pin it down, remember?”
Bibbi didn’t lose any of her
bounce. “We know it’s connected to the grouslies somehow, and we also know how they like to attack lone people. If they’re connected to it, they might show something. We could lay a trap and use them.”
I nodded in Bibbi’s direction. “It’s more than we know now. I think it’s worth a try. If we can lure it in, we might be able to find out something.” Hawk wanted a contribution. I was contributing. He couldn’t dictate how I contributed.
“How do we lay a trap for them?” Oscar asked, someone else finally speaking. It was as if the rest of the room sensed the war brewing between Hawk and me and hadn’t wanted to declare themselves on our personal lists of For and Against.
“I’d do it, but they won’t come near me.” I wasn’t sure how many of us were aware of that, but it had started to feel like I was lugging around a sled of boulders behind me. Now that I’d put it out there, I’d finally be able to park the sled. It wasn’t like people didn’t suspect I was different. It shouldn’t come as a surprise.
From the swivel of heads, maybe more surprising than I’d guessed? I’d imagined Hawk had told some of them. Did the man confide in no one? Stupid question.
Even in this weird world, I was top of the heap. But there was only a two-second glitch before the awkwardness was broken by Bibbi. “And I thought I just envied your clothes. That’s so cool.”
“What happened since the last time they attacked you?” Zab asked.
“I don’t know. Maybe they decided they didn’t like how I tasted.” The grouslies definitely remembered me, but it wasn’t my taste that bothered them. That wouldn’t make them take off if I got too close, but I’d shared enough awkward truths for now. “Point is, I can’t be bait.”
“I’ll do it,” Bibbi said without a second of hesitation. “I’ll be the bait.”
The room went silent.
“Um, oh,” Bertha said. “That would be…”
Nice? Clearly it wouldn’t be. Not at all.
I sat up. Fun and games had officially ended. “Maybe someone else—”
The Most Wanted Witch: Tales of Xest Page 2
