by Ann Aguirre
Leaving the research, I went into my room and got out my laptop. This wasn’t remotely the most important thing on my to-do list, but sometimes you needed a quick sense of accomplishment in order to tackle the hard stuff. I input “Buzzkill killer clown” in the search engine and came up with a stream of results. Picking one at random brought me an urban legend site, not surprisingly, as he didn’t feel like an old god. He even talked like an Internet meme.
Charles Edward Macy was born in the forties to itinerant carnival workers, exact DOB unknown. He trained under the clowns in the big-top show until he was eighteen. For unknown reasons they expelled him from the group and he struck out on his own, settling in the Miami area in the early sixties. By 1970, he was a fixture at children’s parties, performing a small magic show and making balloon animals. But Macy had a secret. The clown beloved by children as Dr. Smiles had a dark side, as his community would eventually discover.
In 1978, the party stopped forever when Sheriff Will Gladstone made a grisly discovery—seventeen bodies were buried beneath Macy’s garage. In the subsequent media circus, the murderer was nicknamed Buzzkill and his trial had to be moved out of county due to his notoriety. Eventually he was convicted of these heinous crimes and given the death penalty. In 1986, after numerous appeals, he went to the electric chair. According to witnesses on site, the current malfunctioned and it took three tries to kill him. After the second flip of the switch, Macy choked out, “You’ll never be rid of me. Your children will never be safe.”
Incredulous, I stared at the page. “Seriously? That’s like three stories, merged into one. Freddy Krueger, something by Wes Craven, and John Wayne Gacy.”
But apparently enough kids had read this and passed it on as gospel since the eighties for there to be a real, undying Buzzkill in the world, working for Wedderburn. Who was currently watching my house. Holy shit. That’s … sobering. Pity panged through me. This creature was evil and monstrous because we made him that way; it wasn’t like he got to pick his origin story. Yet he still scared the crap out of me. His bloodlust was real and so was the danger.
Half an hour later, Raoul slipped into the apartment. I studied him to make sure he was safe. “How did you get by Buzzkill?”
“It’s not as much of a problem as you seem to think. But your texts sounded like you were about to have a panic attack.”
“What…?” I spluttered.
“The artifact prevents magical tracking, yeah. But it’s also got a cloaking feature. I wouldn’t have risked stealing it if it couldn’t withstand scrutiny.”
“Explain more.”
He lifted what looked like a simple religious medallion. “How does that appear to you?”
Confused, I told him.
“That’s because something like this is common and wouldn’t draw your eye. The actual necklace is considerably more remarkable. The amulet does the same thing with me.”
“Makes you more inconspicuous?”
“Now you’re catching on.”
“Wow. And that works on immortals?”
Raoul nodded. “There’s an obscure myth about some god who wanted to seduce a mortal, so he needed to pass among them, otherwise his divine splendor would give the game away—”
“Let me guess, this is a Greek story.”
“I think so. It’s called the Amulet of Agamemnon anyway, because he allegedly stole it from the god in question for impregnating his sister.”
“I’m surprised he had time—what with the Trojan War, plus all the rape, murder, and incest. He had quite a colorful family.” But that made me question something else he’d said. “If the necklace makes you less noticeable, why were you were worried about the Harbinger’s ‘winged messengers’ before? You said you needed to stay off the street.”
“Because the trickery doesn’t work on them. Their brains are too simple, so their eyes show him whatever they actually see.”
“Like remote viewing.” Though I wasn’t finding much humor in anything these days, I couldn’t restrain a snicker. “Dude, your weakness is … birds?”
“Rodents too.” It seemed to pain him to admit, “Any animal familiar can trip me up.”
Since his freedom and safety were at stake, I shouldn’t tease him. Yet I couldn’t stop myself. “I guess we’re not going to the zoo. Just in case.”
He shot me a dark look. “How amusing.”
I was even more touched that he’d joined the search party. Just the mere act of wandering around, looking for me, had to put him at risk. While humans and immortals might not be able to ID him, there were birds and squirrels everywhere. How bizarre that such a small thing could’ve led to his downfall.
Glad it didn’t.
Something else dawned on me just then. “Wait, immortals can crossbreed with us?” Okay, that was kind of a horrible revelation.
“If the story says they can.” Raoul acted like this wasn’t completely horrendous.
“So Zeus and a bunch of other old gods are fertile. That’s a worry I did not need.”
“It shouldn’t bother you more than any of the thousand other unpleasant facts you’ve recently become awake to. Let’s get the furniture moved.”
It was a good thing we didn’t have any downstairs neighbors; otherwise, they’d definitely be banging angrily over how we shoved everything out of the way, leaving only the area rug in the center of the room, almost like an arena.
“This is okay?”
Raoul offered a cautious nod. “It’s not ideal, you could get hurt if you don’t fall properly. On the other hand, a confined space will force you to greater bodily awareness.”
“I’ll do my best,” I promised.
“That’s what I like to hear. By now you should be doing this automatically—”
“Stretches and katas,” I finished.
Since I’d already changed into my workout gear at school, I was ready to start. Raoul moved into the kitchen doorway to give me maximum space, which I appreciated. Some of the styles were complicated and my balance wasn’t the best yet. If I fell over trying to get my feet in position, I’d rather not land on him. By the end of an hour I was good and loose, ready for him to kick my ass. I took up a fighting stance and Raoul strolled toward me with limber grace, despite his age. The silver hair really didn’t give an accurate impression of how tough—or skilled—he was.
Which made me wonder. This definitely wasn’t something the average person would know, let alone be able to teach.
As we circled, I asked, “How is that you know all this stuff anyway?”
Raoul feinted at me instead of answering. I watched him, poised on the balls of my feet and ready to block the next strike. Finally, I could counter about half his moves. The rest ended in bruises that I was currently hiding from my boyfriend.
“That’s an excellent question,” Kian said in a dangerous tone.
Sweaty and scared, I whirled to see him standing in the doorway wearing an indescribable expression.
RIGHTEOUS ANGER IS KIND OF HOT
“I knocked.” He came in and shut the door too quietly. A muscle moved in his jaw, and one hand curled into a fist. Damn. I had never seen him this angry. “Nobody answered, but I heard noises. Given the situation, I came in to check it out.”
“Hey.” That wasn’t the dumbest thing I could’ve said but it made the top ten.
“Funny thing, you being here when you claimed not to need a pickup because of drama practice … and getting a ride with Jen.”
“This is my fault,” Raoul murmured.
Kian’s eyes were like shards of green glass as he folded his arms, leaning back against the closed door. “I have plenty of pissed off for you too.”
Raoul is looking out for you, I thought. It wasn’t that I didn’t understand his outrage over catching me in a lie but if he gave us a chance to explain—eh, yeah, that probably wouldn’t make it better. Kian wasn’t a fan of schemes that risked my neck.
“I hope you’ll let me clarify.” Raoul took a p
enitent position, folding his hands as if Kian had the right to scold him.
“You disappear without a word for how long,” Kian snarled, “and the next thing I know, you’re playing Mr. Miyagi with my girlfriend. I’m starting to wonder if you ever gave a shit about me at all.”
Since all of this was about saving Kian’s life—and I, the most uncoordinated person in the world, was learning to fight for him—I lost my temper. “Why are you even here? Did you miss stalking me?” As soon as the angry words popped out, I regretted them but I couldn’t suck the accusation back in.
Kian flinched. “You can think that if you want. But I was just checking your place to make sure it was safe when you got home. I didn’t know you were with Raoul.” That visibly bothered him.
“Shall I answer her question first?” Raoul seemed to realize we wouldn’t be training until the shit finished splattering.
Kian’s expression made me think we might need a wet vac. “Go ahead.”
I sat down on the rug, beckoning for the other two to do the same. Raoul waited until we stopped rustling, his gaze fixed on his palms, but I had the feeling he saw something else entirely. The silence built until Kian cleared his throat.
Finally Raoul said, “I didn’t want either of you to find out this way, but … I’m part of a resistance movement, dedicated to stopping the game.”
“No shit.” Chills prickled upward, starting at my ankles and creeping to my knees. It stood to reason there must be something like that but … “You’re not the Illuminati, are you?”
A half smile came and went, flickering out like a candle when Raoul registered how unamused Kian still was. “Sorry, there are no stories about us. We’re careful to keep it that way or we couldn’t maneuver. Amongst ourselves, however, we’re dubbed the Black Watch.”
“That doesn’t explain anything,” Kian said.
Raoul went on, “My mandate was infiltration, as I was the first catalyst born to the order in centuries.”
I came to the obvious conclusion. “Damn. You went to extremis, knowing what would happen in advance?”
He shook his head. “My whole life was a misery and I never knew why. I was reared like a slave, whipped and beaten. Yet I knew nothing but the Black Watch, so I did what they told me without question and when my master said he had no further use for my life, I ended it.”
Holy shit. I pictured some seriously screwed-up monastic order, all grim faced and ascetic, cranking out acolytes who would die on order without question. They’d bookmarked Machiavelli’s truism about the end justifying the means and then tattooed it on each other’s foreheads. Doing terrible things is cool for the right reasons, yes? That hit too close to home since I’d taken the deal out of a burning desire for revenge.
“At which point you were offered three favors,” Kian guessed.
“Yes. Nobody had ever asked me what I wanted, so I had no idea how to respond. It was … earthshattering, truly. My liaison said I could have some time to think about my requests, as long as I accepted the bargain right then.”
“What if you’d immediately wished all your tormentors dead?” I wondered aloud.
“That would have been the end of the resistance. But they had done their work very well. With no part of my mind could I have framed such a demand. Not then.”
Now? But if I kept interrupting, he’d never get this story told. I flicked a glance at Kian, but he wouldn’t meet my eyes. Wincing, I contemplated all the ways I could grovel for that stalking comment. So dumb, I didn’t even mean it. That’s why I thought being with me for real must be a letdown. An ache set up shop in my throat.
“I’m starting to understand,” Kian said softly. “Let’s hear how it ends.”
“Afterward, my old master came to me. He said I had graduated from a long and arduous period as an initiate. From this day forward, I was a knight in service to defeating an ancient evil. I started combat training then and continued to ‘think’ about my requests. I spent five years at a monastery in Thailand, until my liaison told me my time was up. At that point, I requested the favors my master had laid out for me and I did everything he ordered.”
“To screw up your timeline.” Kian shook his head, sighing. “They actually sent you undercover to work for Wedderburn. That’s … insane.”
“I served two masters—Wedderburn and the Black Watch—for many years. Then my new instructions came—to vanish and prepare for the next stage.” He raised his eyes then, sharp with purpose. “Mark me, whether you will it or not, whether you’re ready or not, you’ll both play a role in what’s to come.”
Crap. Then Raoul was helping me, yeah, but he wasn’t a free agent. That meant I owed these lessons to the Black Watch, another faction jockeying to control me. Regardless how much help my training was, if they expected me to follow orders with the same blind loyalty they’d brainwashed into Raoul, just no. I shook my head, unable to muster a response.
Kian was having no such trouble. “That only explains how you know how to fight, not why you’re teaching Edie.”
That, I could handle. Then he could get mad at me for agreeing to it. “Because he knows you. He didn’t think you’d want me throwing down with things that could smash me, eat me, or devour my soul. Figured you’d get mad at him for enabling me to be even more reckless.”
He dropped his eyes, sheepish, and faint color washed his high cheekbones. “Okay, maybe those are not incorrect statements. But did you ever stop to think that I’d hate you hiding shit, lying to me, more than the idea of you taking stupid risks?”
“We’ll put a pin in ‘stupid’ for now,” I said. “And, no, it didn’t. Because I’m book smart, people dumb, as you already knew. So I’ll probably drop a metric ton of should know better on you before we’re done. But I’m really sorry. For keeping secrets and what I said before—”
“It’s okay, Edie.”
“It’s really not. But say you forgive me anyway?” I tried a smile.
He didn’t return it but the hard glass left his eyes, so they were warm and bright again. I reached for his hand and while he didn’t meet me halfway, he let me take it. God, it felt good not to hide this from him anymore.
“There’s very little I wouldn’t forgive you for.”
A frisson of fear flickered through me. It seemed downright dangerous for Kian to love me this much, especially when I screwed up so hard on a regular basis. But I couldn’t obsess about my relationship right now. Not with my dad missing.
“So what’s your endgame in training me?” I asked, turning to Raoul.
“The Black Watch wants to recruit you. Eventually.”
“Am I supposed to ruin my timeline on purpose and go work for Wedderburn?”
Raoul’s eyes said he didn’t find that funny. “My master doesn’t explain his strategies.”
“How do you feel about him now? I mean, you’ve been free for a while. Sort of.” Could blind loyalty exist outside of a vacuum? I wondered if the conditioning could possibly hold in the real world once someone got a taste of making their own moves.
The older man steepled his fingers, lowering his head to contemplate for a few seconds. “I think he’s desperate to win a fight that cannot be won, and desperate men are dangerous.”
“Will you train me too?” Kian folded onto his knees. “If I learn, I might be able to protect Edie better.”
I exchanged a look with Raoul, reading his thoughts from the angle of his head and offering a faint nod in response. He doesn’t need to know why. Letting him think it’s strictly self-defense is best. Without being told, I got to my feet.
“Follow my lead,” I said to Kian. “First are the stretches and katas…”
Two hours later, we were both sweaty, though Raoul remained irritatingly impervious. There wasn’t space to spar with three of us, a problem I’d have to solve as soon as possible. I got bottles of water while I filled Kian in on the fact that Buzzkill was now ostensibly working for me. Not that I believed for a second he’d follow my
orders if I asked him to do something that contravened Wedderburn’s interests.
“I’ll find us regular gym space somewhere,” Raoul said. “Don’t worry about it. The school was convenient because there’s nobody around to ask questions but we can adapt.”
“Keep me posted.”
“Me too,” Kian murmured.
Soon after, Raoul headed out, ostensibly to look for facilities capable of letting us all practice at the same time. Afterward, the apartment was too quiet. I couldn’t look at the boy who loved me; I wronged him constantly. Maybe he’d started our relationship feeling guilty but he shouldn’t anymore. In silence I checked my phone. Allison was supposed to be looking into my dad’s kidnapping, and I hated that she had resources I didn’t. Nothing so far. Wedderburn was also supposed to be digging around, but I didn’t trust his good intentions. Though inaction chafed, I didn’t know what else to do. It wasn’t like I could run a search for properties owned by supernatural entities.
But maybe …
Ignoring Kian’s startled exclamation, I ran to my room and brought up Dwyer & Fell. All corporations left tax records because even if the company was a smoke screen, they had to pay lip service to the mortal world. So there would be records, a revenue stream, holding companies, and probably shell corporations. It would take time to dig through all of this but it was better than doing nothing, waiting for someone else to solve my problem.
“What’re you doing?” Kian asked, coming up behind me.
He probably wanted to yell at me, but he wouldn’t. It might be better if he did. Clearing the air seemed like a good idea, but I’d learned he refused to argue, regardless of how much I provoked it. If I kept on, I’d just hurt him again. He was trying so hard to be my perfect hero when what I wanted was a real flesh-and-blood boyfriend who screwed up as much as I did.
Quietly I explained. “It’s a needle in a stack of needles but it’s probable that he’s being held in a property owned by Dwyer & Fell but there are so many related companies.”
And this wasn’t even my field of expertise.
