by M. D. Grimm
Time passed and the sobs eased, my body stilled. Limp and weak, I sagged into Aishe, turning my head slightly, sucking in air. He rocked us as I closed my eyes and took deep breaths, each filled with his familiar scent. He kissed my head, his hand stroking my cheek. I cleared my throat and scrubbed at my eyes, then winced in pain. They were as raw as the rest of me. I sniffed.
“Morgorth?” His voice was a whisper of sound, but it conveyed so much: his worry, relief, confusion, curiosity.
I took another deep breath, calming by degrees. I was alive. I had won the duel. My father was dead. I focused hard on that: my father was dead.
I reached up and my hand covered the amethyst pendant hanging from his neck. I was sure he saw it as I did: a symbol of my love for him. Aishe covered my hand with his own. I sniffed again and tilted my head back to see his bright green eyes staring at me with love and concern. I saw flickers of fear behind his love, but what did I expect after what he’d seen me do? He would be a moron if he didn’t fear me at least a little. But his love and trust overpowered everything else. He trusted me not to hurt him.
He leaned down and kissed my forehead. I shivered slightly as I started to feel the cold from my wet clothes.
“This was the cave where I called my magick to me,” I rasped. I cleared my throat again.
Aishe looked around. “I can see why you needed to come here.”
Yes, I knew he would. He always saw me, even when I didn’t want him to. I leaned my head against his chest again, suddenly very tired. I listened to his heartbeat; it was a little faster than it should be, but it was steady and strong. There was something reassuring about that beat.
I suddenly felt Aishe shiver. My magick rose to the surface—no pain, no exhaustion. I had used a lot of magick in a short amount of time and yet I hardly felt any side effects. I wasn’t sure if it was due to the use of elemental magick or if I was becoming stronger, or even if it was a mixture of both. I was too exhausted, mentally and physically, to delve into the hows and whys right now. My magick might have been strong but my body was weak.
I pressed my hand to Aishe’s chest and with a word, dried his clothes completely. He gasped at the sudden sensation. I did the same for myself, but I still wanted a fire. It rained buckets outside the cave, and I gave a vague thought to Elorn. Was he still there? Had he managed to find a way out of my bondage?
We were going to leave for home tomorrow. I would send a querian to Master Ulezander then.
I grabbed a crystal from my pouch, sent a spell into it, creating an enchantment. Then I tossed the crystal onto the ground and it burst into fire, a warm and comforting fire.
Aishe jerked in surprise, then held me closer. “You’re amazing, my mage.”
I smiled. It felt nice to smile in real and genuine happiness. Only he could have me do that at such a time, after such an event. I couldn’t have survived coming back here without him, of that I was dead certain.
We were quiet for a little while before I spoke. “I will speak to you about it, Aishe. But...not tonight. All right?”
Aishe kissed the top of my head. “No, not tonight. We both need sleep.”
I sighed. “I don’t know if I can sleep.”
“Then you’ll rest.”
He scooted back against the cave wall, bringing me with him. He never lost contact with my body after he’d come to me as I cried. He seemed intent on touching me, soothing me. I suddenly remembered he’d been wounded in the fight. How could I have forgotten that?
“Aishe, your leg.”
“It’s nothing, Morgorth.”
“You’re in pain.” I attempted to turn.
Aishe gripped my arms, met my eyes. “No, I’m not.”
I stared at him, trying to find the lie, but he was being truthful. I could see the beginnings of a black eye and it pained me to see it. His bloody lip had dried, and as he saw my gaze settle on that, he touched his fingers to the wound. Yellow light glowed faintly, and Aishe healed himself with healing magick. Then the wound was gone. I looked pointedly at his black eye. He smiled slightly and pressed his fingers to that as well and in a moment, the bruise had faded but not vanished completely. It wouldn’t swell and become worse; that was a comfort.
“What did he do to you?”
Aishe pulled my back against his chest, wrapped his arms around me. I curled into him, sitting between his legs, which also tightened against my thighs. He pressed his cheek against mine.
“After he blasted you with force, I ran toward you. But he hit me with the same force. I took it mostly in the chest, where it was deflected by the jerkin you made me. But I tumbled a fair way and didn’t recover as quickly as I wanted to. I’m sorry I left you alone so long.”
I shook my head. “Not your fault. Don’t apologize. You were there when I needed you the most. You talked me down from that damn stone.” I gasped. “The emerald—”
Aishe’s arms tightened around me. “Don’t worry. I have it in my pouch. I did not touch it, though it called to me.”
He shivered. I grabbed his hands, kissed his palms, and he nuzzled my neck. The fire I created flickered off the rock and made our shadows dance. I turned my head and met his eyes. The fire lit the green, and nothing else in my life could rival his beauty.
I kissed him. I needed to feel and to taste the one in my life I loved most, the one I couldn’t live without. I needed connection, I needed to remember what I’d found with him. What he gave me, what I gave him. We were truly meant for each other. He came eagerly, his tongue dancing with mine. I felt him harden against me even as I felt my own groin sit up and beg. I was tired, sure I was, but I would never be so tired as to not desire his touch and his caress. And this time, it was gentle, slow and sweet. His hand languidly slid down and cupped my erection through my trousers. He rubbed, squeezed. I shuddered, pushing harder into the kiss. Our movements were slow, satisfying. There was no need to rush, to push.
We’d won.
Bless the Mother, we’d won.
The wicked bastard was dead.
I turned in Aishe’s arms to kneel before him. Cupping his face, I deepened the kiss and he gripped my butt. I sucked and nibbled his lips before my tongue explored his mouth. I relished his sweet, familiar taste. He was my home.
I pulled back and his eyes flashed open.
“You’ll never see me the way they do, will you?” I whispered.
He smiled, his eyes warm as his hands still caressed my backside. “I see you for who you are, not for who they tried to make you.”
Swamped, I touched my forehead to his. My heart trembled in my chest. Yes, he was my miracle. And those voices, those hideous voices finally faded. He made them fade.
You’re just like me. I’m so proud of you.
I opened my eyes, unaware I’d shut them. I stared into Aishe’s. Even that sick bastard’s voice faded. For now.
Chapter Twenty-One
Aishe
We made love in the cave. That place where Morgorth had called to his magick, where it had answered him. I let him inside me. I needed him inside me. I held him close, his warm breath on my neck. He was so gentle, his movements slow, no rush, no demands. I felt all of him, his languid movements, as I knew he felt all of me. I ran my fingers through his hair, kissing his neck, his cheek. I took deep breaths of his scent, his warm skin pressed against mine a balm to what I’d seen, to what he’d done.
I understood it, accepted it, as I understood and accepted him.
“Morgorth,” I whispered. I bent my knees back farther, giving him more access. He pushed deeper, and I shuddered out a breath as the burn, the stretch, intensified.
He kissed me, my cheeks, my eyes, then my mouth, deeply, lovingly. He buried his hands in my hair, clenching in a way that told me he was trying hard to forget for this moment, about the past, the future. His father.
I rubbed his shoulders and met his eyes. His own were still troubled, the rich brown slightly glowing. He wasn’t using his magick but it was near the su
rface.
“I love you inside me.” I stared directly into his eyes. “You feel so good, I’ll always want you inside me.”
His breath hitched and his eyes flickered.
“And I’ll always want to be inside you.” It was a struggle to speak since the pleasure was reaching the ledge, about to toss me over. “You’re beautiful and you’re mine.”
His eyes flashed and I actually felt him become harder inside me. I smiled, sweat sliding down my face. I reached down between us and grabbed my own erection, feeling myself tipping over the edge. He thrust harder, his mouth capturing, dominating mine, bruising my lips. I didn’t mind. Then he pushed back, off me, and knelt on the cave floor. He was still inside me as he gripped my hips and put more delicious force into his thrusts.
I gasped and stroked myself faster.
His eyes burned. “Then watch me take you.”
It was always a pleasure to watch him. The fire glinted off his eyes and shone off his scars. They were given to him in ugliness but they were now beautiful. They were visible evidence of all he’d endured and survived. They were also a reminder to him, a reminder of what victims suffered at the hands of monsters.
I watched him claim me, he watched me fall over the ledge. I said his name as my muscles clenched, as my hand and stomach became sticky from my release. He didn’t use magick this time, but it didn’t take away from the pleasure and the satisfaction. He gave three hard thrusts before he came with me.
He grunted my name. I smiled.
I pulled and tugged at him until he lay on top of me, and I held him close, our hearts racing, thundering against each other. He nuzzled my neck and ran his fingers through my hair. I closed my eyes, relishing the moment as I stroked his back, fingers bumping over his spine and his scars.
“I don’t deserve you, Aishe,” Morgorth whispered, close to my ear. His voice was rough. “But I need you like I need to breathe. And finding you, knowing you, surpasses the joy and freedom I felt when I found my magick.”
My heart literally stopped for a split second. Then it raced. My breath backed up and my eyes burned with shocked tears. I tightened my hold on him and pressed my face against his neck. I knew what his magick meant to him. It was his first love, his chance at freedom, to choose what his life would be like. It was security, power, something completely and only his. His magick only answered to him. I believed it was the first moment, after seven years of torment, that he felt anything akin to happiness. Magick had irrevocably changed his life and helped him defeat a monster.
And he said what he had with me surpassed all that.
I cried. I couldn’t stop myself. Morgorth rolled us onto our sides, holding me close. He smiled slightly as he wiped my tears away.
“Oh, baby, please don’t cry. You’re killing me.”
I laughed and rubbed my eyes hard, forcing my tears to stop. Then I cupped his face and stroked his cheek. “Thank you,” I said softly. “I don’t know what else to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything.” Morgorth briefly laid his forehead against mine. He wrapped his arm around my wrist. “It’s just...after everything I’ve put you through, when you were a child and now, what you’ve seen me do, what I’ve done to you, said to you, didn’t say to you...after all that you’ve never turned your back on me. Not once. You never even had any intention to do so.”
He looked me in the eye, his own filled with an awe I’ve never seen before. “You’ve stood beside me, behind me, picked me up, put me back together, or knocked me down to size.” He paused and I was too overwhelmed to speak. He took a deep breath. “But you’ve done even more than that, Aishe. You touch me.”
He cleared his throat. I didn’t speak. I feared if I did, he would falter and wouldn’t finish what he’d started. “Master Ulezander has done a lot for me. He’s done a lot of what you have done. But...you touch me. You want to touch me. You want me, Aishe. You don’t want my power or my reputation. You don’t want power from association. You want me, scars and all. I see ugliness when I look at them, but you see strength. You see hope for me, for us. You see something when you look at me, something I still don’t think I see.”
I opened my mouth but he touched his fingers to it. I continued to listen, the love I had for him almost painful.
“But I have hope, Aishe, because of you. I have hope I will eventually see what you see.” He paused again, his expression and his eyes becoming darker. “I wouldn’t have survived this journey back if not for you. I know that. You steady me. You’re...the sun in my world of darkness.”
“Morgorth.” My voice cracked.
“I need you to know,” he said fiercely, though his hand when it cupped my face was infinitely gentle. “I need you to know what you are to me, who you are to me. I may not always say it or show it, and I know I can be plain crappy sometimes. But never doubt what I’m telling you now. Never doubt you really, truly, are my heart. I appreciate you, Aishe,” he added after a short pause. “I appreciate all you are, and it’s me who should thank you. And I am. Thank you.”
It was a strange thing, what he told me, I’d seen in him before, the advantage of my gift. But to hear him say it, mean it, to have him expose himself and his heart and his vulnerability like that...it was painfully sweet, lovely, and entirely overwhelming. Since falling in love with him as a child, since knowing him as an adult, I never thought he would lay himself bare like that. I was glad he did. His trust in me made me love him more.
I hugged him tightly and kissed him passionately. He pushed into me with equal fervor, and I decided it was my turn to claim him.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Morgorth
I felt relatively good after my emotional purge in the cave. I didn’t expect to say so much but...it had been long overdue. Aishe needed to know where he stood and what I felt—what I really, truly, in-the-gut felt for him. What he was to me. I’ve told him I loved him before, sure, but I’ve never really explained what that meant. And the first time I told him he was my heart, I ended up putting the fate of the world on his shoulders. This time, I had to tell him without that weight, without responsibility. It was long since past the time I should have opened up fully to him.
He’d stood there and watched me torture and kill—some would say murder—my father. He’d stood there, seeing the mage he loved become the monster he’d never known. Then he’d followed me, allowed me to make love to him. His trust was unbreakable and humbling. My magick had no choice but to listen to me. I directed it. I controlled it. I neither directed nor controlled Aishe. He made a choice to become my mate, and he made a choice every day to stay with me. Yeah, he deserved to know what I meant when I said, “I love you.”
I teleported us back to Olyvre’s house in the late morning. I knew he’d be worried but I just couldn’t return sooner. I was still a mess, and it would be a while before I put myself back together. I’d been less than coherent after the duel with my father. I felt able to talk to him now.
Aishe knocked on the door and Lyli opened it. The radiant way her face lit up actually made me smile. That was until she threw her little body at me, her arms clenching my waist.
“Uncle! Uncle, you’re back! Yay!”
I knew I paled. My body stiffened, my arms lifted far away from her body. I looked at Aishe, pleading with my eyes for help. He looked amused. Damn him.
“Lyli, don’t I get a hug?” Aishe said, kneeling. Lyli squealed and spun around, throwing her arms around Aishe’s neck.
I let out a relieved breath and lowered my arms.
“Lyli! What have I told you about opening the—” Olyvre stopped. Stared. I lifted my eyebrows. He looked so shocked.
“What?” I said. “You thought I would lose?”
Before I knew his intentions, he suddenly engulfed me in a bear hug that bruised my ribs. Air whooshed out of my lungs, and I knew I looked as shocked as my brother upon seeing me.
“Thank the Mother! Thank the Hunter! I prayed so hard last night. I didn’t
get any sleep. I kept telling myself you’d win. You’re so much stronger than him. But there was always a chance, always a possibility that... Mother’s bosom.”
He was trembling. My brother had feared for my safety...and he didn’t let go. My arms slowly lifted even as I felt my body relax by degrees. I don’t know why it happened or why I allowed it, but I closed my eyes and hugged him back. When he finally pulled away, he still gripped my shoulders. He stared at me so hard it was as if he worried I would suddenly vanish.
“I’m fine, Ollie,” I said softly. “Really. Both of us are.”
That was when Olyvre turned and gripped Aishe’s shoulder, linking all three of us. Well, four, if you counted Lyli, who hang from Aishe’s hand like little children were wont to do.
“I’m glad you’re well, Aishe.”
“As am I.”
That was when I realized we had an audience. Three seelas stood inside the doorway to Olyvre’s house. My magick snapped to the surface and fire formed around my fist.
“Wait, Morgorth.” Olyvre stepped in as a shield, holding his hands up. “Wait, I invited them. I wanted them here. We all needed to know the outcome of the duel.”
Lazylin, Crystif, and Alyin shuffled fearfully away from the doorway. I figured Derkun was in the house as well. I reluctantly banished the fire and pushed my magick down, but not all the way to my core. I felt better with it near the surface. Pushing past Olyvre, I entered the cottage. My brothers scrambled back, giving me a wide berth. A zing of happiness went through me at their fear. I glanced over at a chair near the hearth to see Derkun sitting there, a blanket around his shoulders. He glared at me, and I looked away, dismissing him.
“Father is dead.” My voice was cool, distant, almost bored.
“His body—” Crystif started.
“Gone,” I said simply. That was all they’d get on that score. Olyvre made a move to shut the door but I held up a hand. “No, I won’t be long.”
