Chapter Thirty-Four
A Farm Like None Other
A veil of determination descended upon Lefty’s face. He set his tablet aside, gripped the steering wheel with both hands, and turned from the road onto the long, dirt driveway that led to Cragglemeister Farm.
He stared straight ahead at his destination, teeth gritted with focus. Beside him, Noodles seemed to be likewise locked-in with determination, as he beeped and booped with a weird, robotic resolve.
The farm was an isolated residence. To one side, there was a large, unkempt field, surrounded by a post fence that was in desperate need of repairs. A mild breeze swept through the field, causing the high grass to gently sway back and forth.
At the center of the field, there was a medium-sized pond, within which the moon was brightly reflected. The surface of the water was affected with faint ripples at the behest of the breeze, and there was the occasional, small splash, as a frog would leap from the surrounding cattails. An upside down rowboat rested at the edge of the pond, with oars and fishing poles leaning against its faded hull.
Forest surrounded the other sides of the property. Trees and brush encroached upon the land, creeping up on the old farmhouse, as well as the large barn that had been built close by.
The yard between the farmhouse and the barn was littered with the remains of old machines. There were the husks of partially disassembled tractors, and the shells of old cars and trucks, as well as retired construction vehicles. Massive wrenches and long-handled screwdrivers had been left here and there, among other tools and parts. Gears and sprockets, axles and transmissions, crankshafts and hubcaps, lay sprinkled all over the yard.
It was almost like a mechanical graveyard of sorts, where old machines had gone to their final resting place. Jasper had surely been tinkering, and the Beans suspected that no matter what he had been up to, it was undoubtedly dastardly.
Although the farm was quiet, and there was nary a whisper of activity, there was something… not quite right about the place. Lefty and his passengers tensed as the van wound its way down the dirt driveway, drawing closer. They could not have described what it was about the farm that put them on edge, for it was simply an intangible sensation of eeriness.
As Lefty pulled up to the huge barn, he hurriedly braked. The van slid to a stop, creating a great plume of dust as it did so. Doors opened, and the occupants immediately leaped out, staring up at the great barn that towered before them. The headlights of the van shone on the closed barn doors, which were of enormous stature. They stood at a height of perhaps fifteen feet, and they were nearly as wide.
A sound of coughing was heard, and a small figure stumbled into view, coming from around the corner of the barn, where he must have exited from a side door. He was bent at the waist, hacking on the plume of dust that the van had kicked up.
As he came into the path of the headlights, he was revealed to be none other than the villainous, caped Ebenezer Widget-Bocker. He was not wearing his stilts or his shoulder pads, but he was once more equipped with his unreliable (and thoroughly dented) jetpack, which he had apparently snatched from the manor before he fled.
“Beep boop beep!” Noodles said, as he examined the scoundrel.
Ebenezer cleared his throat, and he looked at them all with an expression of clear surprise pasted upon his face. “Wha-? What are you doing here, Lefty? How did you find us?”
“Surprised, are you?” Lefty asked with a grin. “I was freed from your nefarious MegaNet, thanks to a little help from my friends. As to how we found you, I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you. I believe you mentioned that I was ‘oh, so predictable’… wasn’t that right?”
“And how is it that this hunk of bolts is powered on again?” Ebenezer demanded, pointing a finger at Noodles.
“I guess you just can’t keep a good break-dancer down, sir,” Neil opined thoughtfully.
Ebenezer eyed Neil suspiciously, taken aback by his answer. “And who might you be?”
“I’m Neil!” he answered pleasantly enough. “Jack and I are great friends, did you know that? By the way, I really think you should reconsider the company you keep. That Jasper character, he’s really quite a scoundrel, you know. He’s done all sorts of bogus stuff, and gotten into all kinds of trouble, like you wouldn’t even believe. You should probably just swap sides, and rejoin Lefty, that’s what I would do-”
“Enough!” Ebenezer shouted, interrupting Neil. He looked over the other Beans, and began chuckling. “Is this your ragtag band of reinforcements, Lefty? Pathetic! Four kids, a clumsy robot, a dog, and… wait, what is that?”
Murphy shook one tiny fist at Ebenezer from his place atop Nibbler’s back, squeaking ferociously.
“That’s Murphy,” Maria informed him. “And you had best show him some respect, mister, even if you happen to be a mad scientist, used to bossing people around.”
“We’ve formed a fellowship,” Sara added helpfully. “You had might as well surrender, because we’re here to put a stop to your villainy.”
Ebenezer rolled his eyes and ignored the Beans, returning his attention to Lefty. “To be honest, I didn’t think that you would get free this quickly, much less locate us. But you know something? I’m actually glad that you’re here. It’s fitting, is it not? It’s appropriate that you should be here… to behold the glorious return of the Black Hats, and to marvel at the invention of our genius!”
“What’s with this guy?” Neil asked his friends, in a very loud whisper. He covertly nodded his head toward Ebenezer. “Do you suppose he’s bonkers?”
“I heard that, young man!” Ebenezer shouted.
“Oh, um… you did, eh? No offense, but maybe you should just lie down for a bit. Maybe you bruised your melon when you crash-landed earlier,” Neil suggested, in what he thought was a very helpful manner.
“Bruised my melon?” Ebenezer squawked. “I’ll have you know, young man, that I am one of the greatest scientists and inventors on the face of the planet! And you will soon see that for yourself, as you behold the latest creation of the Black Hats!”
“What are you babbling about, you rattlebrained doorknob?” Lefty demanded. “Your ego is more reckless than ever. What have you invented now – a jetpack that crashes you into the moon, perhaps?”
“Bah! You won’t be laughing for long,” Ebenezer promised. He turned his face toward the barn and yelled, “It’s time, Jasper! Time to give our guests a show!”
“Is he in there?” Lefty asked. He turned his attention to the barn. “Show yourself, Jasper! It’s time to face the music!”
Ebenezer pressed a button on the control he held in one hand, and his jetpack roared to life, shooting flames by each side of his body. Despite the many dents and dings the jetpack had suffered during the crash-landing, Ebenezer seemed to have once more gotten a handle on its operation. It soon propelled him into the air, and he hovered above, as the Beans helplessly watched him rise from their reach.
But as odd as it was to see the tiny man flitting about in the air, cape billowing behind him, the Beans did not watch him for long. For their attention was drawn back to the barn doors… and the odd sounds that were coming from behind them.
A low, bass-heavy growl could be heard, coming from within the barn. The Beans could almost feel the noise inside of them, rattling their bones. It sounded as if a monstrous, mythological beast resided inside the barn, wakened from its slumber, with an empty belly and an appetite for trouble. However, there was an odd, mechanical warble that also affected the growl, lending it a most mysterious (not to mention unsettling) quality.
“Um… would anybody care to venture what that noise might be?” Sara asked.
Before any guesses could be offered, the barn doors were blasted open, amid a horrifically loud noise of destruction and carnage. A tremendous impact from the other side forced them wide, blowing the massive doors from their hinges, splintering the heavy boards of wood that they were built from.
The members of the fello
wship reflexively turned their heads away, shielding their eyes from the flying debris, and the plumes of dust that were kicked up. When they dared to turn their attention back toward the barn, they saw what could only be described as a mechanical nightmare, lumbering from its place within the barn.
“Great Pythagorean Theorem!” Lefty exclaimed in alarm. “What have you maniacs done?”
The Green Beans, Volume 2: The Strange Genius of Lefty O'Houlihan Page 34
