by Nyrae Dawn
The Hook-up Doctor’s Guide
Nyrae Dawn
Copyright 2012 by Nyrae Dawn
Smashwords Edition
Copyright © 2012 by Nyrae Dawn
All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America.
No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any form or by any means electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval systems, without prior written permission of the author except where permitted by law.
Published by
Nyrae Dawn
The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author.
THE SEBASTIAN HAWKINS
HOOK-UP DOCTOR
GUIDE
Disclaimer:
The Hook up Doctor Guide is a work of FICTION and not meant to apply in real life. Sebastian and all of the situations in this book are fictional and for entertainment purposes only. This should not be used as a real “self-help” book. This advice is not meant for readers use, but for a fun, fictional read.
Dedication:
To Allie B. This book would never have been without you. Thanks for
All the support.
SEBASTIAN AKA THE HOOK-UP DOCTOR
What’s up? Sebastian Hawkins here and this is my guide to help girls grab their dream guy.
Okay. I totally know what you’re thinking—is this guy for real? Let me just let you know right now that yeah, I am. I’m totally doing this. If you’ve read my book, WHAT A BOY WANTS, you know I like to talk and like to give my advice. Now, I have to figure out how to get through this without giving away any spoilers, but yeah, I’m going there again. It’s my last hurrah, if you want to put it that way. I begged Nyrae to let me do something. It took some convincing, but she caved. I’m pretty sure it’s because she knows my advice kicks ass.
Okay, okay, so I know it might not always go 100% as planned, but you have to admit, I have a good record. I’m pretty good at this if I do say so myself and there’s a lot of advice left for me to give.
I’m going to admit a little secret to you (yeah, I know, it’s not really a secret if it’s in a book, but whatever). I digress…back to my secret. I actually liked the Hook-up Doctor gig. Who wouldn’t? You get to tell people what’s on your mind without holding anything back. People come to you and ask for you to tell them what to do. It’s friggin’ golden.
That was secret number one. I have another one too…
Looks over my shoulder to make sure no one is around.
The whole Hook-up Doctor thing isn’t just about getting a car. Or getting to hear myself speak. People tell me I like that a little too much, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.
So yeah…where was I? Oh yeah, money. It isn’t only about my fundage.
People think since I’m young I haven’t seen a lot. They’re wrong. I have. I’ve seen people get hurt and people screw up—rinse, wash, repeat. I’ve learned a thing or two along the way and this is me, sharing that with you.
I’m taking a few of my tough cases as the Hook-up Doctor, mixing them with a few new ones. I’ll throw in some of my rules too—stuff that I think is particularly good advice and deserves to be repeated or its own section. Check me out. I’m totally organized. My girl would be so proud.
Alright. Here we go. Time to jump in. Enjoy.
CASE NUMBER ONE:
Hey Hookup Doctor,
So, there is this guy... I am sure that's how all of these things start for you, hey? Anyways, this guy is perfection. He is smart and funny and cute and kind... And my math tutor... I know he probably thinks I am a huge idiot but what scares me more is he is a senior, 2 years older than me, and probably way more experienced, you know, at hooking up. How do I make him see me as more than just some dumb, inexperienced kid?
Me(you x advice) + him = us
Me + Him = Us,
First, if he thinks you’re an idiot than he is. Seriously. I can tell you I don’t discriminate girls on their math grade and any guy who does, is lame. In the grand scheme of things, there are way more important things than how fast you solve an algebraic equation.
Second, and this is where things get a little sticky… I have to tread lightly with this one. My mom and my girl will kick my butt if I don’t put this out there though… Are you sure he’s not so much more experienced that you shouldn’t go there? I’m not trying to be a downer here and I’m not saying that you should forget about him for sure, I’m just throwing that out here. It’s something to think about.
Growing up with a single mom and having Aspen and Pris to look after gives me a little different perspective on that. I don’t care if it makes me sound like a chump, but girls have to be careful and if guys push too hard than they’re not worth your time.
So, if you decide he’s a cool guy and going to treat you right, there are a few questions I have for you. Do you guys have anything in common? Hang out with any of the same people? It’s hard to give advice when I don’t have all the info. Most of the time I tell girls to try and find that middle ground—something you guys can both talk about or whatever. It’s cool to have a few things you’re both into, but it’s cool to be different too.
And I have to say it…when all else fails, flirt. Some of you are probably rolling your eyes at me now and when I say flirt, I don’t mean throw yourself at the guy. There’s a huge difference, but a little flirty can go a long way.
Hope that helps.
Hook-up Doc
SEBASTIAN’S RULES: Control
Alright, this is where I turn into one of those guys who no one expects me to be, but yeah, I don’t really care about that. I tell it how it is and say what I feel.
Control is important. When I say control I don’t mean bossy or running the show all the time, but I mean being in control of yourself, who you are and what you do. It’s really hard to give examples about this without giving spoilers away about my book, but control is important. I’ve seen girls end up in bad situations. I’ve seen something that seems okay, change quickly.
I also want to say that I know sometimes shit happens. That you can do everything right and a guy just ends up being a douche.
It sucks.
I don’t know this chick’s math tutor and he could be a totally chill guy, so this isn’t only directed at him. I’m not even saying it’s directed at only math girl and guy in particular because one of them is older than the other—this message just reminded me of the control rule and it’s something I really wanna throw out there.
Stay in control, if you can. Remember what you want and who you are and don’t let someone else push you into anything. I used to get shit all the time about girls. I’ll fully admit to seeing a bunch of them in the past, but the thing is, we were all on the same page. Know your page and don’t let someone make you turn into a speed reader if you don’t want to be one.
It’s a big sea out there with a whole lot of fish. You’ll find another one.
CASE NUMBER TWO:
Hey Doc,
I may just give you your biggest challenge yet, because not only am I 'the friend' but worse is I am 'one of the boys'. Don't get me wrong, I am totally a chick, a full blown, full figured chick, but I am more likely to punch him than hug him and challenge him to a seven hour Halo session instead of make out session. Who is him? That's not really the point here. The point is I don't know how to make him see me as a girl without doing that pink dress crap. It also doesn't help that I have to remind him on a regular basis that I am a girl and I really don't want to hear about the girls he is hooking up with. Is there a middle ground?
Later,
>
Not just one of the boys
Not just one of the boys,
Shit. This is a hard one. I mean, I totally know what to tell you, but you’re in a tough spot.
It’s hard because there’s the part of me who wants to say, regardless of how he “sees” you; he totally knows you’re a girl. I don’t care if my girlfriends are just friends; I totally know they’re of the female variety. I’m a guy, I’m visual, and I notice things.
But then there’s the other part of me who knows how a guy can start to see things differently…things we might have noticed about a girl in the friend category and then start to see it differently. Unfortunately, it just happens.
Or not. How’s that for help?
If I were you I’d start out by giving him his own medicine. He tells you about girls, you tell him about guys. You’ll definitely get a feel for him that way. Does he get jealous? I’m not just talking the “I-don’t-want-to-hear-about-a-guy” thing. I’m saying HOW does he react to it? You know him and you should be able to read him.
I’m big on telling girls not to change who they are just to hook-up with a guy. Totally not worth it and I know I’m not changing who I am for a girl. So, if you’re not a dress girl and he wants a dress girl, then he might just have to be your punching bag.
I’m going to go with advice I’ve given before. Flirt. Or you can always try the honesty thing. More on honesty later.
You guys are friends, right? Does he know you’re always there for him? Expect it? Don’t let him take it for granted. Hang out with someone else. Don’t ditch him, but show him you’re more than just his game buddy.
Later, Hook-up Doctor
SEBASTIAN’S RULE: Staples
There are a few things that are kind of like staples to getting the attention of who you want. Flirting is one of them. The thing is, not everyone is down with that. Flirting isn’t as easy as it sounds and you don’t want to come off making him wonder what the heck you’re doing.
Another is showing up where he is, but making it obvious you’re not there for him. Don’t be rude because that’s a total turnoff, but let him know you have a life outside of him. Plus, you totally should have a life outside him. If you don’t, that opens a whole crap load of problems you don’t want to deal with.
CASE NUMBER THREE:
Hookup Doc,
This is going to be bizarre to you but I have a huge crush on a guy that plays on my hockey team... Yes I am a girl that plays on a guy’s hockey team. Obviously, I am worried about the whole same team, awkward next day thing, but where it gets weirder is this guy is younger than me. Just a year but my friends think it is weird, and he doesn't take my advances seriously... I actually like this guy, and I was raised by a raging feminist so I really don't give a shit that he is younger, but I need help getting him to take me seriously without throwing myself at him.
Older player
Older Player,
Seriously? You play hockey? That’s bad ass!
On the younger-guy-thing. It’s no biggie. If your friends are tripping out, that’s their deal. And the guy? He’s probably going to be stoked! I’m trying to figure out how to say this without making myself and other guys look bad. I break too many guy codes in this biz, but yeah…gotta do what you gotta do. Anyway, a lot of guys might not admit it, but most of us have pretty big egos. A lot of girls too, but again, most of you probably aren’t real big on sharing that info.
So yeah… egos are big and an older girl being into you definitely strokes your ego, so that’s a good thing. I have to say be sure you guys are on the same page though. I told another girl who was worried that the guy had more experience than her because he was older, so to be fair, I have to tell you the same thing. It’s all good as long as you’re both in the same place. Just like I told her not to let the guy push her into anything, the same rules apply here. No taking advantage of the age thing.
Okay, now to the other part. How do you get him to see you’re serious without throwing yourself at him? TELL HIM. I know, I know. Girls tell me all the time how hard it is to tell a guy she likes them (which is strange since girls usually talk about feelings a whole lot more than us), but you have to go there. Tell him you’re into him and see what happens. Plus, you have an advantage, you play hockey. If he’s a jerk about it, just kick his ass.
That being said don’t go overboard. Girls who can step up to the plate and tell a guy she likes them are cool, but don’t be too desperate. Like you said, don’t throw yourself at him or ask him how many kids you guys should have or anything. That’s going to make him run for the hills.
Hook-up Doctor
SEBASTIAN’S RULE: Honesty
Okay, here’s another Sebastian’s Rule for you. When I first started this Hook-up Doc gig, I was big on games. Finding ways to get what you want by playing games. If I’m one thing, it’s honest and I have to say that sometimes, yeah, games do work. They often do get you what you want or what you think you want.
But…and I don’t admit this lightly, but I’ve learned a thing or ten, too. Grown up a little bit, or whatever. There are certain situations where games don’t work. Actually, they have a way of getting you into a whole hell of a lot of trouble. Believe me, I know.
Old Player’s situation definitely sounds like something where you want to just put it out there—be honest and admit you’re feelin’ the person. It’s not like it’s a declaration of love (if that’s what Old Player is thinking, we need to hit the brakes here and reevaluate.)
But if you like someone or want to get to know them a little better—if you’re the type of person who doesn’t mind going there and flirting with them, then keep on going the whole way and just tell them you like ‘em. There isn’t much to lose in this kind of situation. I’ve had the stakes higher and yeah… it was crazy.
CASE NUMBER FOUR:
Dear Hook-up Doctor,
I am so glad I stumbled across your blog. You have no idea how much I need you. I hope you’re as good as your blog says you are. OK so here's the deal. My best friend has this SUPER hot older brother. He just came home for summer break and lounges by the pool every day. Hot guy, hot abs and every time I'm around him I dribble spit on myself like an idiot. Please, please help me. I want to hook-up with him. Bad.
Thanks,
Drool by the Pool.
Drool by the Pool,
Hot abs? Are you spying on me? Just kidding. The first thing you need to do is cut the drool. Spit? Doesn’t do it for us. Sorry. The good thing is, you have something going for you. Pool. Can you say bikinis? LOL. Seriously though, this one is a little tough. Being the little sister’s friend puts you in a strange situation. You have to find a way to make sure he doesn’t see YOU as a little sister, too. You need to find a way to separate yourself from the sister. I’m not saying ditch her, because friends before hook-ups and all that, but make sure he sees you as YOU. Sees you as more than just an extension of his sister. Find a way to click with him on a level that’s yours and not anything else to do with the sib.
Good luck,
Hook-up Doctor
CASE NUMBER FIVE:
Dear Hook-up Doctor,
Hi, um, my friend. (She told me not to say her name.) Although I don't think you know her real name. Anyway, she told me you helped her out. She landed this really cute guy and I was hoping you'd be able to do the same for me. See the problem is that he doesn't know I exist. I'm sure all the girls that contact you say that, but I'm for real. I work with him, and he's never once said hi to me, or even looked at me. I'm not ugly, if that's what you're thinking. He's just a very focused guy. He works really hard, and he's really...well you get the picture. Do you think you can help?
Hope to hear from you soon--Invisible But Not Ugly.
Invisible but not Ugly,
Sigh. First of all, cut the word ugly out of your dictionary. Confidence is the key to everything. Seriously, girls don’t realize how hot a confident woman is. Even if it’s an act, play it well. Might help
you start to gain more for real, too. That being said, there’s a fine line between confident and pushy. You want to straddle it well. Walk with your head high, but don’t let him think, you think you’re too good. THAT is not hot. This one time I met this chick at a party… you know what? Never mind. Not going there. Anyway, on the confidence thing again… TALK TO HIM. You say he doesn’t see you? Make him see you. Talk to him, give him some attention, but not too much too fast. You don’t want to look too eager. Talk to him one day, get his attention and then the next, show him that confidence, but make sure it’s not directed toward him. Seriously, once you giveth and then taketh away, we totally want it again. I’m pretty sure it’s the laws of nature or something.
Cat’cha later,
Hook-up Doctor
