She tried to speak, a painful squeak grabbing his attention. He raised the tablet to her once again.
Never again!
Victor heaved out a heavy breath. “Yes, I can’t say I blame you.” He nodded. “Dr. Rhetta did mention—the only part of her assessment I agree with—you may need to take a medication to settle your emotions while you deal with your trauma, and possibly something to help you sleep. It’s something for you to think about. I would feel more comfortable knowing you have something to assist you while you work to return to your former self.”
She raised a finger.
Yes.
He looked away, running his hand through his thick, wavy hair. “There is one more matter we need to discuss.” He sighed. “I’ve been debating if I should wait to tell you—you’ve been through enough—but I feel it would be cruel to withhold information from you.” He leaned forward, placing his hand on top of hers.”
“Chastity, I regret to inform you, your mother passed while you were unconscious.”
Her eyes instantly filled with tears, streaming in parallel rivers down her cheeks.
“I don’t know if it will help, but she went peacefully in her sleep.” He sighed again. “She passed the same night as… Lance’s death. I am grateful she didn’t have to learn what you went through before she passed.”
Chastity did nothing to conceal her emotions as they were flooding through her with the force of a tsunami. She wished she could take back every sharp word, every ill intended thought towards her mother since she left the education center.
She wished she could hear her bedtime story—the real one. To hear about her father, why her mother loved him, and why she was so afraid for Chastity’s life that she would come back to this wretched place.
Most of all, she wished she could have one last conversation with her, one where her mom could tell the truth.
No matter how many years passed, she would have to live with the reason she never got to hear that story. It wasn’t my mom’s jealousy that drove us apart, but my insecurity. I was so busy trying to keep up with her, trying to be her, I never took the time to listen to her, to really get to know her. I’ll never know about my father now, about their lives together, and it’s completely my fault.
“Chastity, I’m going to call in a nurse to give you more pain medication now, and let you get your rest. I just have one more question. If you won’t talk to a psychologist, do you have any friends? Is there anyone you can talk to?”
Even through her grief, it was immediately clear what she must do. She raised a shaking finger, hoping with all her might that Ursa could forgive her.
He flinched, hanging his head. “I’m terribly sorry, Chastity. Before you answer, I have to ask that it not be anyone in the State House. I’m sure that is rather limiting, but we do want to keep this contained as much as possible. Is there anyone else you can talk to?”
She raised a finger again.
Ursa.
He looked at the tablet, nodding. “I’ll find out who that is, and when you have healed enough to leave the hospital, we will arrange a meeting for you.”
He gave her hand another squeeze, standing from his seat. “Rest well, Chastity. I wish you a speedy recovery, regardless of if you chose to return to the State House or not.”
He held her gaze a moment longer, then took his leave.
The nurse was almost immediately in the room upon his departure. She injected something into her IV, and Chasity felt relief wash over her as the pain melted away, and her mind drifted off to sleep.
Chapter 38
Victor
“What did you learn” Dr. Rhetta asked before she took the time to sit down.
Victor heaved a heavy breath. “Inconclusive.” He leaned back in his chair, scratching his chin. “Her story corroborates with the evidence, it’s just that, I know Chastity. She has a real sharp wit, never misses a beat, you know? And I know she’s been sedated,” he waved a dismissive hand, “but I still get the feeling she was taking too long to answer, as though she needed time to get her story straight.”
“What do you mean? What story?”
“That Lance attacked her for refusing a sexual advancement.”
“Really? I don’t need to talk to Chastity to know that’s exactly what happened. I’m not surprised he would try such a thing, especially after we punished Chastity for his outbursts.”
He teetered his head back and forth. “Yes, but we didn’t get any clear surveillance footage from their bedroom. We don’t really know why they started fighting.”
Her eyes bored into him. “Victor, I do believe your paranoia is getting the best of you once again. Based on the time frame of when she returned to their apartment, combined with the inactivity on her tablet, I am certain she fell asleep. Lance lingered at the door of their bedroom, as though weighing his options before he entered.”
He slumped his shoulders. “I know, it’s just a hunch—I don't have any backing. There wasn’t enough time between his return and when the violence ensued for it to be anything else. She confirmed he found her sleeping and tried to force himself on her, yet I’m just not certain if that is what really caused their fight.”
Dr. Rhetta leaned forward. “Victor, you are a man—and the Head of State. I doubt she wanted to discuss such personal matters with you.”
He shook his head. “Yes, that probably explains her hesitation.” He straightened his back. “I’ll disregard my judgment of Lance’s death.”
Dr. Rhetta nodded. “And what about her mother?”
Victor shook his head. “I don’t believe she had any idea; she burst into tears the second I told her. It looked genuine to me. Knowing Chastity like I do, I can’t believe she was faking it. She was both shocked and upset.”
She gave a curt nod. “I trust your judgment as you worked closely with her. I thought it was a far cry, completely against her character, but I needed to be certain.”
Victor winced. “Yes, I really don’t think she knew anything. I told her and her face was just… horrified, immediately followed by tears.”
“I figured as much. She doesn’t have the strength of character to involve herself with something underhanded.” Dr. Rhetta interlaced her fingers on the tabletop. “I think it is time you accept that Chastity isn’t going to become our rebellion leader. It’s time we move on, search for the next candidate.”
Victor huffed, resting his head on his hands in defeat.
“Victor, why are you so attached to the concept of Chastity leading the rebellion to the colony world?”
He rubbed his face. “You know I am fully committed to the State.”
“Of course, Victor.”
“I was always willing to take the pill to end my life if that’s what the State wanted… but,” He looked down, his cheeks flushing. “It’s silly, but I’ve gotten rather attached to dying a hero’s death as a martyr. It’s all ego, I know, but I’m afraid this won’t happen in my lifetime—that I’ll die of old age.”
She peered at him, a sharp knowing look behind her eyes. “Victor, I can appreciate your feelings, but don’t give up hope so quickly. The right person is out there, I just have to find them—and I will. Chastity isn’t just compliant, she’s, she’s boring.”
Victor laughed. “Hey, I’ve enjoyed having that boring girl in my office.”
She leaned forward. “Yes, she is an excellent administrator, that’s exactly the problem. She doesn’t stir any emotion. We need our rebel leader to inspire the masses to risk their lives for the colony world. When I selected Chastity, I did not yet know her father wasn’t her father. I thought she was the daughter of a boy who questioned everything he was told—she is the complete opposite.”
Victor nodded. “Yes, I understand. I just hoped when she killed Lance, you know? I hoped there was more to it, is all.”
Dr. Rhetta tucked her chin, looking up at him. “You expected more from her? From the girl who talked about the injustice of her partner abusing he
r as though we were discussing having a cup of tea.”
Victor gave a half laugh. “I know what you mean. When you told me to play devil’s advocate to rile her against you,” he shook his head, “she actually cut me off, saying you had a plan and she should try to fix her relationship with her partner.”
She lifted a finger, pointing at him. “That, you see? That’s why she could never be the leader we need. I need someone defiant who leads with their heart and has the anger and drive to follow through. That is who people will follow, leading us to our victory.”
He nodded, resting his head in his hands again. “So, what happens with Chastity now?”
Dr. Rhetta shook her head. “You want to keep her as your administrator, do you not?” Dr Rhetta shrugged. “That’s all she’s good for. Chastity will never aid the rebellion. Keep her as your administrator, send her away, retire her, I don’t care; I have no further interest in her.”
Victor nodded, letting her words roll around his mind. “I don’t want to keep circling, but when I asked if she had someone to talk to, she said she would like to see Ursa. Did you not send Chastity to meet her in hopes Ursa would bring her into the rebellion?”
Dr. Rhetta rolled her eyes. “Victor, you are grasping at straws—let it go. Yes, I paired the two of them with that intent, but Chastity was once again a disappointment.”
“How do you mean?”
“It appeared they didn’t talk long before she became emotional and left Ursa in the common room.”
“Emotional? Why do you think that is?”
Dr. Rhetta sighed. “Ursa is nothing like Chastity—she’s got spunk. She could have been our rebel leader if she had applied herself more in her studies. She has the heart but didn’t have the grades to position her well in a civil duty. If she upset Chastity, I’m certain it was because Ursa told her to fight me to get free of Lance—it’s what I expected her to say, anyway. As Chastity was insistent on following orders, I’m sure she didn’t want that kind of advice.”
“You said she didn’t take long with Ursa, do you know what she did between their meeting and when she returned home to take a nap?”
She rolled her eyes. “No, I didn’t track her; I didn’t feel the need to. She had already told me everything I needed to know about her character. She was going to leave the State House to work on her relationship with Lance and walked away from her best friend for telling her to fight. Sending her to Ursa was her last chance to prove her worth, and she has, as an administrator.”
Victor nodded. “Well, back to the drawing board, I guess.”
Dr. Rhetta’s eyes lit up. “Yes, but don’t worry. I have an algorithm scanning the profiling system set to alert me to personality traits we need in our leader. I’ll find her, don’t you worry.”
“Her?” Victor raised an eyebrow.
“Yes, I think it should be a woman. The Heads of State have always been male. I think it will do more to fuel the rebellion to have a female leader.”
He shrugged. “Alright then. I can’t wait to meet her, when you find her.”
Dr. Rhetta nodded. “Victor, I’ll be in touch. Until then, let’s put this colossal failure with Chastity behind us. You, after all, have a nation to run.”
Chapter 39
Chastity
Ursa had beat her to the common room, once again, sitting at a central table. Ursa raised her hand, waving her over. Chastity stepped forward, taking a deep breath. She didn’t know if Ursa would forgive her for her behavior the last time they met. She could only hope that Ursa had accepted this invitation willingly and not because it was State-mandated.
As she approached the table, Ursa stepped towards her, only a slight moment of hesitation before pulling her into a tight embrace. Chastity let out a sigh of relief which almost instantly turned into a sob. Ursa simply held onto her, stroking her back while whispering gentle reassurances in her ear.
They stood together for longer than what would be deemed normal—drawing attention, yet Chastity couldn’t bring herself to pull away from Ursa’s embrace. Ursa finally urged her to take a seat and sat with her arm draped around her, Chastity’s head resting on her shoulder.
“I’m so sorry, Ursa. I’m sorry about how I spoke to you.”
“Shush,” Ursa said soothingly. “That is in the past. Let us not dwell in it.”
Chastity wiped a few tears from her eyes. “The last time I saw her, I said the most horrible things to her.”
“I know,” Ursa whispered. “I spoke to her after. You have to put it behind you.”
She couldn’t pull her head off Ursa shoulder. “I can’t believe she’s gone.”
Ursa lifted her hand, gently stroking Chastity’s hair and face, then kept a firm grip on her head as she whispered. “Don’t make a move, and don’t say anything. Your mother isn’t dead. She led a group out of the dome to the surface.”
Chastity closed her eyes and focused on her breathing, trying to refrain from doing anything to draw attention to them. “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” Ursa whispered. “I helped her plan. Their aim is to go to the village where she lived—where your father is from.”
“Is there any way to contact them? Or to even know if they made it?” Chastity sniffed.
“I’m afraid not. Whether they made it to the village safely, or were killed somehow along the way, we will never know. What we do know is that they made it out of the dome unharmed.”
It warmed her heart to know her mother was out there somewhere, possibly happy. She would live on, accomplishing great things, or so Chastity hoped.
“I thought my mom was jealous of me.” She laughed sarcastically. “I could tell she wasn’t happy when I went to the State House; I thought it was because I had climbed higher in life than she had.”
Ursa gripped Chastity a little tighter and kissed her forehead. “The day you went to the State House was bittersweet for your mother. She knew she had waited too long; all she could think about was the mistakes she made, and how much you would pay for them. She was also so proud of you for your accomplishments. She said that you were much more compliant than she had ever been, a trait you inherited from your father. She wished he would have seen the woman you’ve become.”
“I have been such a fool. I don’t think I could have made such a mess of my life if it were my intent.”
Ursa laughed. “I think you get that trait from your mother. She said practically the same thing after the two of you last spoke, and she realized she had to leave you behind without even saying goodbye.”
She was so happy to have this moment with Ursa, but her mind started to spin. “Why didn’t you go with her?”
“The exact same reason your mother never left sooner. She originally came back to ensure she had a safe delivery and then wanted to wait until your immune system had developed. Before she knew it, you had gone to school, and then you were sterilized. Once you were brought in to the State House, she knew she had lost you. It was too late to take you.”
Ursa pulled back, looking her in the eyes. “I can see how difficult it was for your mother, what caused all her hesitations. It doesn’t seem fair to make such a choice for your child. Life is difficult on the outside. What if I take Colin out there and he never finds a mate? What if he gets sick? What if I get sick, and he has no one to care for him?”
Chastity wiped her eyes. “I can’t imagine what it would be like out there.”
Ursa laughed. “Your mother told me some outrageous stories about her time in your father’s village. She didn’t know if you would be happier here while living a lie or if you would resent her for taking you elsewhere. I hope to still go there someday, but I’m not going to do it until Colin is old enough to decide for himself if he wants to come with me or not.”
Chastity looked at Ursa, leaning forward and whispered into her ear. “I killed my partner.”
Ursa flinched and looked at her bug-eyed, whispered in her ear. “Good for you.”
Chastity choked o
n her surprise as a gulp of laughter escaped her lips.
Ursa returned a warm smile. “The State messaged me to share both your mother and your partner’s death, but I wasn’t expecting such an interesting tale.” Ursa fell momentarily silent, then whispered into Chastity’s ear. “How did you do it? You don’t have a gun, do you?”
Chastity’s eyes darted around the room before she nodded in response.
“But if you have a gun, that means you could kill the Head of State.”
Chastity’s entire body went rigid. “Ursa, Lance attacked me; I was provoked. I don’t think I could do it in cold blood. Besides, I don’t know what good it would do. It wouldn’t change anything. He doesn’t hold all the power. There is this High Council he meets with. Sometimes, I wonder if they have more power than he does. I’m sure if he died, he would immediately be replaced with a replica.”
Betrayed: Book Five of the State Series Page 27
