“Oh, Donald, oh my. I don’t know what to say or if I could say it if I knew. This is too much for me.” She wobbled on her feet and was quickly and easily caught by Donald as the world spun beneath her.
“See,” he pointed out. “This gift, like all good ones, has a practical application. I seem to have this most unfortunate effect on you quite often, and I thought a bit of extra air might help.”
“Well, your heart is certainly in the right place,” she said, her voice breathy. “But what good will it do me when every time I see it, I think of you, and pass out again?” he teased.
“Good thing I will always be here to catch you from now on then.”
He still hasn’t righted me yet…he’s just letting me rest here in his arms.
Rather than righting herself, Emma leaned into her betrothed’s touch, letting herself fall into the strong arms she admired so much. He held her easily, without strain of any kind, as if she were the lightest thing he ever held. He held her delicately too, as if she were fine pearl that might turn to dust if held wrong. She appreciated that, truly loved the tenderness he treated her with. But—
“You know, Donald, I am no egg to be cradled. You can hold me, truly hold me without concern, now, since we are engaged,” her voice was a whisper, so low that it was almost foreign to her. Though she wasn’t sure she wanted Josephine to hear her speaking this way.
Donald stiffened for a moment, but then adjusted himself and let her weight fall into him. He was supporting her full weight against him now, and she could feel him struggle with how comfortable he wanted to be. What was proper in this moment, and what her body wanted, their bodies wanted, were very far apart.
Emma let out a little gasp as she felt something stiffen and throb against her, against the small curve of her back. She was worried that she might be making him uncomfortable, so she shifted her weight to lean forward off of him but found his grip, firm and holding her close, reassuring her that this is what he wanted.
She wanted it too, wanted it so bad that her knees felt weak and her thighs trembled. She ached to have him so close and yet so far away from their wedding night.
Moving in terms of pure desire, she lifted her head back until she could see his face. His look scared and excited her all at the same time, as this was the first time she had truly seen the powerful lust in Donald’s eyes. She leaned her head back and kissed him on the mouth. It was not a particularly lustful kiss in action, but one that passed the energy from one to the other and back again. Emma could feel how badly they both wanted one other in that kiss. She knew Donald could feel it too.
As if suddenly realizing all at once that Josephine was still in the room with them, Emma pulled away first from the kiss. She spoke to him in a hush fervent whisper. “I don’t want to stop, but we cannot compromise ourselves like this any longer.” And Donald returned a brusque, if reluctant nod.
He helped her stand and at the same time straightened himself. Both of them smoothed out their clothes and adjusted themselves to look presentable in case any one came in, as they wished not to upset or offend.
Trying to compose herself and return to normal, calm thinking, Emma said. “This is a most beautiful gift, Donald, but you don’t need to. My love isn’t bought but justly earned.” She punctuated this by fanning herself a little. “Not that it isn’t the loveliest gift I have ever seen or received. Though you aren’t allowed to tell anyone I said that.”
“Think of it as a present to commemorate our engagement. You have made me the happiest gentleman in all of London and this was the best way I could think to express that fact. You remember some of my poetry from my school days, tell me you don’t prefer the fan and I’d call you a liar.” And with that they both laughed.
Chapter 20
With his trip to his father’s estate in Derbourg just a couple of days away, Donald was hoping everything would come together. He had Baldwin and his support staff working non-stop to see if there was anything they could do to find a way to either bolster their supplies or their income. So far, no solutions had turned up. Or more correctly, no solutions that didn’t equate to failure in Donald’s mind.
He and Matthew had set up camp in the offices of Atlantic Animal Furs company and had been spending almost all their time there. Donald left only to sleep and return the next day and Matthew left a bit more frequently for various meetings.
Donald didn’t like being taken away from his betrothed for so long, especially so soon before the wedding but this was a matter of utmost importance. Still, it was hard for his thoughts not to constantly dwell on the beautiful face of Emma. How he longed to touch her and hold her close. Before his thoughts could turn to something steamier someone cleared their throat.
“Baldwin wishes to speak with you,” Matthew said from his desk. “Do you mind if he interrupts breakfast? He says it is most urgent.”
“If he thinks it’s urgent, then I am worried,” Donald replied, clearing the daze from his mind with a large sip of tea before standing. “I shall meet with him. Enjoy your breakfast.”
Baldwin did appear quite distressed as they stood in a currently unoccupied office, indicating to Donald that the matter was serious indeed.
“What seems to be the matter, Baldwin? Not more bad news about the direction of the company, is it? All we need now is a warehouse fire,” Donald practically grumbled.
“No, M’Lord, it is actually related to a separate matter. Which is why I requested to speak with you in private,” Baldwin said weakly. “It has to do with your engagement to Lady Emma.”
Donald felt completely blindsided and baffled. “I mean this with the most politeness that the subject will allow, but how is it you know anything at all about my private life?” Donald asked.
Baldwin hesitated but finally relented. “Well it started when I was having some drinks at Check and Charleston’s...”
Donald interrupted, “Check and Charleston’s?”
“It’s sort of like a club, but for working class men in the fields of business and finance where we may talk after work,” Baldwin explained. “Sometimes it can prove to be very helpful and informative. Unfortunately in this instance it proved to be unpleasant news.”
“I would appreciate it if you would continue, Baldwin,” Donald prompted.
“Of course, M’Lord. Well last night I ran into a bunch of the accountants from Westfolk Wool. And they were all somber and drinking like fish. So I asked them what the matter was. They said that Lord Westfolk had sided with his tenants about not installing railroads. And I said that a man who values the opinions of his tenants sounds like a good lord. And they say, yes, but now they have a big problem.”
Baldwin paused as if waiting for additional questions, but Donald waved for him to continue.
“Well, they tell me that the buyers still expected that wool will be shipped by rail, for sake of speed. So Lord Westfolk must pay for the privilege of using other railroads and shipping it there and use of the cars. To do as such, the Lord has borrowed heavily from the railroad company and now finds his land and himself leveraged against a great amount of debt.” Baldwin finished, looking as nervous as any messenger with bad news would.
Donald felt anger building in him. “And why did you think it was necessary to bring this to my attention?”
“M’Lord? Your finances are my concern. I wanted you to know that you could possibly be marrying into a good amount of debt,” Baldwin spoke meekly and looked down at the floor.
“And you assumed that this was something that my betrothed’s family was trying to deceive me with? That they wouldn’t tell me of?”
Before Donald could raise his voice further, he took a deep breath. His loyal employee had just provided him some valuable information at risk to his own livelihood. The last thing Donald should do in a moment like this was discourage him and shoot the messenger.
Donald shook his head, letting his anger dissipate. “Thank you, Baldwin. I’m sorry, you were right to bring this infor
mation to me. Excuse me, I need to mull over this while I finish my breakfast.” Truth be told, Donald didn’t feel much like eating anymore.
Donald returned to the office and sat down, staring at his rapidly cooling meal with nauseous disdain. It wasn’t long before Matthew caught wind of his increasingly foul mood. “It went that poorly?” Matthew asked.
Before he could press for more Donald divulged to him the nature of the conversation he just had. He did this without thinking, simply needing to vent to the first trustworthy source he had, which was Matthew.
They sat in silence for a small amount of time. “So what do you think?” Matthew asked after a moment.
“Think about what?” Donald asked.
“About Emma’s father and his apparently sizable debt. Do you think it played a role in your recent engagement?” Matthew asked and Donald hated him for it.
“I don’t think that’s very likely,” Donald said.
“And why not?”
“Because from our courtship to our proposal that was all my decision. And Lord Westfolk has never demonstrated any sort of behavior to lead me to believe he would leverage his daughter’s well being against his poor business decisions,” Donald said tersely.
“But we’ve never done business with him,” Matthew pointed out.
“And we have never done business with my father either, or yours.”
“And what of Emma? Do you think she knew about this during your courtship? Or even when it came to encouraging you to propose?” Matthew pushed at Donald and it made the anger flare up again.
“Of course not! Why are you asking such questions? Why are you so suspicious of Lord Westfolk and Emma? Why would they lie to me?” Donald practically snarled.
“Calm down, Donald,” Matthew counseled. “I am simply asking the necessary questions as your friend. I don’t think Emma or her father are villainous for not bringing this to your attention, they are simply doing what anyone else in their position in society would have done. How can they be blamed for that?”
“I do not like the insinuation, either way. Thinking that way seems insidious to me.”
“Why? Isn’t it similar to how you negotiated your own proposal?” Matthew asked innocently.
“What are you talking about, Matthew? I don’t appreciate the tone or direction that this conversation is taking especially when I just received such challenging news.” Donald stood and started to pace the room, his shoulders hunched. He felt hot and hostile and wanted to be anywhere but trapped in this office with Matthew.
“I am saying that you kept the state of your business from Emma when you proposed. So even if Emma knew, how can you expect her to tell you? Such business is messy. It’s better to let love drive the marriage and sort out the messy stuff later.”
Donald spun to glare at Matthew, who wasn’t even looking up from the paperwork on his desk. He wasn’t sure if Matthew was being serious or chiding him for his behavior. He had never had a harder time getting a handle on Matthew’s intent.
“Do you honestly think Emma and her father would intentionally hide this from me in order to have me propose?” Donald asked flatly.
“I think it doesn’t matter. And I think what I think doesn’t matter,” he returned just as flatly.
“Well I think it does. And I don’t think my future wife and father-in-law would treat me in such a fashion.” Donald’s voice quavered as he struggled to drive the point home with conviction.
“But you are inclined to treat them in the same fashion?” Matthew asked pointedly, finally looking up to stare Donald in the eye.
“No, I don’t. I shouldn’t have and I intend to correct the matter as of this moment.” Donald grabbed his coat from the back of his chair and prepared to leave. At this, Matthew’s eyes widened and he stood.
“Where are you going?” Matthew stammered, his voice a mixture of excitement and worry.
“I am going to speak with my betrothed. I have taken issue with your tone and I intend to prove myself right.” Donald moved to the door but then turned to Matthew. “That, and to come clean about something I should have several weeks ago.”
“Come clean?! Donald, just hold on. I know you have been upset by the news but let us not be rash. We can go about this with a level head,” Matthew pleaded, but Donald was already closing the door behind him.
* * *
Donald fumed in his carriage and his stomach turned over and again. He desperately wanted to see Emma, have his betrothed comfort these ill emotions away. Not just the sense of betrayal from Emma and her father, but at Matthew’s as well. He didn’t like the taste that Matthew’s advice had left in his mouth. He had always believed him to be an upstanding gentleman, but lately he was forced to question.
The worst part about it was his anger mingled with desire. He wanted nothing more than to hold Emma and have her hold him. But he also wanted to confess to her. And again he wanted to fall to her knees and beg her forgiveness for even considering deceiving her about his own business.
For a brief moment he cursed love. Love had turned a simple and pure friendship into something twisted, emotional, and confusing. The whole situation made him feel ill.
But I would never want to go back to the way things used to be. Not now that I understand how I really feel.
He had to come up with a plan on how to address this without coming across as accusatory. Because he didn’t believe there was anything for her to be accused of.
His priority was being honest with his lady love. That was what he wanted from her more than anything in this moment so that was what he owed her most. He would come clean about the state of his business, then he would let her decide if she still wanted to marry him even if his finances were in peril.
That would sort things out to where they should be, no matter what Emma and her father’s motivations were.
Chapter 21
Emma was surprised when a footman informed her of her betrothed’s arrival. Usually he would send word before he arrived, at least by an hour if he had an unexpected need to drop by. Donald did not show up on the Westfolk Estate doorstep and expect an audience, it wasn’t like him.
Emma’s surprise turned to worry when she found him sitting across from the door expectantly. He stood from his chair, appeared pale and weary, far from his usually healthy and vigorous self.
“You have been working far too hard, Donald. You will make me worry,” she found herself saying.
Donald said nothing in immediate reply. Then he spoke, “I have debated far too long on the subject of my finances and how to inform you of what you are marrying into. So I have come today to confess to you the state of things, Emma dear. The Atlantic Animal Fur Company is in dire straits. Issues with our partners in America have put us in a desperate situation and we need to find a solution in a little more than six months, or we will be forced to cease operations. If this changes your stance on our marriage-to-be then I would understand. I wouldn’t want us to marry under false pretense. It was never my goal to deceive you,” Donald explained, almost unable to breath, heart thudding in his chest.
The room was quiet for a long time before Emma couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m sorry, my dearest one, but you seemed so serious.”
“I am deathly serious. This is not a jest Emma, my business is having serious issues.”
She snorted and cleared her throat lightly. “No, I know how serious all that is, and as your wife it will be my problem too. But the idea I wouldn’t marry the love of my life because of some business issues is so ludicrous to me, Donald. I am deeply sorry, I know it is inappropriate but I just couldn’t help but laugh,” she explained.
Donald stared at her. “You don’t care about my financial situation?”
“I care that other people would care, I care that it would affect your well being, but your wealth has no impact on my choice to marry you, Donald. I thought that was clear to you.”
Emma saw a brief look of shame on Donald’s face as he turned away. �
�I learned something recently that was very challenging for me to hear. I am afraid it caused me a great deal of undue stress and doubt.”
“Learned something? What do you mean?”
“I was informed that your father’s businesses are suffering. As a result his estate is in a great deal of debt,” Donald informed her.
Emma was floored. She wasn’t one to be overly curious about her father’s business but he wasn’t exactly the secretive type. She couldn’t believe the first time she was hearing of this was from her betrothed.
“Emma, I don’t want to believe this. In fact, I refuse to believe it. I will take whatever answer you give me for the truth. But for my own sanity I must ask it. Did you know about the debt when you accepted my proposal?”
Unleashed Desires 0f A Noble Lady (Steamy Historical Regency) Page 14
