In The Eye of the Beholder

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In The Eye of the Beholder Page 3

by Beverly Cialone


  I nodded and walked to my car in a state of blissful shock, and fifteen minutes later I was sitting in front of my apartment with no idea of how I’d gotten there. I sighed and got out of the car, then slowly walked up to my front door and floated inside. I headed straight for my bedroom, where I slipped my silk skirt and shirt off, and as I slid beneath the satin comforter I sighed in contentment and closed my eyes as I replayed the events of the evening. Much to my surprise, I drifted off easily into a deep, dreamless sleep.

  Chapter 3

  I thought seven o’clock was never going to arrive as I gave my apartment a thorough cleaning the next day, although I didn’t know if I’d ever have the courage to invite Adam to my place. Compared to his beautiful house, I felt like I was living in a slum. It would just be too embarrassing to have him walk into my small apartment and pretend to be comfortable for the entire evening. Such a scenario sent shudders of horror through me, and once again I wondered how we were ever going to make this relationship work. Then again, we didn’t exactly have what someone could call a relationship, all we’d done was have a couple of nice lunch dates and dinner together, but dear God, the man could definitely kiss. I wondered if he was as talented in other areas as I vigorously dusted and ran the vacuum. By noon my apartment was spotless and all my laundry was done. I’d been up since six, and now I was definitely feeling the effects of all my hard work as I yawned and flopped down onto the sofa. I decided to take a nap in the hopes that it would make the time go by quicker, and after checking my front door to make sure it was locked, I went to my bedroom and stretched out on top of the comforter. Moments later, I was fast asleep.

  I woke with a start at five p.m., and I was glad that I hadn’t overslept and missed my dinner date with Adam. I slowly sat up and yawned as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, then got up and staggered into the bathroom for a much-needed shower to wake myself up. Half an hour later I emerged feeling much better, and after wrapping myself in a towel, I padded barefoot over to my closet and debated what to wear tonight. I finally decided on black silk pants and a silver and black striped silk shirt (I love silk, in case you hadn’t noticed), then returned to the bathroom to blow-dry my hair, brush my teeth and apply my makeup. By six-fifteen I was finished in the bathroom, and the butterflies started up in my belly again as the hands on the clock seemed to start moving faster. I got dressed and applied my new perfume to the base of my throat and my wrists, then checked my reflection again and nodded in satisfaction. Blow-drying my hair had given it some extra bounce, and it was incredibly soft as I gently finger-combed it and pushed it off my shoulders. Satisfied that I looked as good as I possibly could, I grabbed my keys and purse and headed out the door.

  I arrived at Adam’s at six-forty-five, and as I was walking up to his front door I froze when I heard frenzied barking and then a low, menacing growl. Even though I liked dogs, I was immensely frightened of dogs I wasn’t familiar with, and I stood statue-still as I debated what to do. I knew the dog could probably sense my fear, which only made the situation worse, because I knew that he probably wouldn’t let me move without taking a huge chunk out of me with his teeth. I slowly turned around and swallowed hard when I saw a huge, beautiful German Shepherd standing two feet away from me. I forced myself to smile and nervously said, “Hi, there, doggie. Nice doggie. I’m just here to see your master. OK? Please don’t bite me. You’re such a nice, pretty doggie.” I was slowly backing towards the front door as I complimented the dog, and icy fear solidified in my belly when the dog bared his teeth and took a step towards me. I sent up a silent prayer of thanks when I finally reached the front door, and I urgently pressed the doorbell as the dog and I engaged in a staring contest. I almost fell backwards against Adam when he opened the door, and his voice was suddenly authoritative as he said, “Mickey, no! That’s a bad boy. Now come here and tell Sophie you’re sorry.”

  Mickey suddenly looked contrite instead of menacing, but I was still leery as the dog slowly approached me and gently licked my outstretched hand. I tensed, convinced the dog was going to have my hand for dinner, and Adam’s voice was gentle as he inquired, “Are you alright?”

  “I think so.”

  “Mickey’s a great dog; he’s just extremely protective and territorial.”

  “I’ll say.”

  “See? He likes you now.”

  I glanced down and gave Mickey a wary smile as he wagged his tail and seemed to smile up at me. Moments later he bounded into the house. I turned and smiled up at Adam, then said, “You’re just full of surprises. I didn’t know you had a dog.”

  “He wasn’t supposed to be in the yard. I’ll have to figure out how he got out of the house.”

  “You mean he’s an inside dog?”

  Adam suddenly looked uneasy as he replied, “Something like that, yeah.”

  “Is he usually well-behaved?”

  “Usually, yes. He’s like a member of the family. I keep him inside because I don’t want him running off or getting stolen.”

  “That’s understandable.”

  Adam closed the front door and put his arm around my shoulders, then led me into the living room again, where Mickey was stretched out on the rug in front of the fire place. I sat down on the sofa and glanced at Mickey, but since I was no longer a threat, he’d lost all interest in me as he rested his head on his paws and gazed adoringly at Adam. Adam offered me a drink, and this time I requested a Fuzzy Navel. Adam nodded and mixed the drink for me, then walked over to the sofa and sat down beside me before he handed me the glass. He put his arm around my shoulders and inquired, “Are you sure you’re alright?”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Sorry about Mickey.”

  “It’s alright. Thank you for the drink.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  I smiled up at him and inquired, “So what’s for dinner tonight?”

  He laughed and replied, “Steak, salad, baked potatoes, and more of that chocolate mousse cake you loved so much last night.”

  “Mmm, I can’t wait.”

  He laughed at my reply and stretched his long legs in front of him, then glanced at me and said, “Would you like to listen to some music?”

  “That would be nice.”

  “The Eagles again?”

  I shrugged and sipped my drink. “Whatever you’re in the mood for.”

  “Alright.” He got up and walked over to the stereo, then picked out five CD’s and popped them into the player. I sighed and closed my eyes as a popular Led Zeppelin tune began to play, and as Adam sat back down beside me he inquired, “Is Led Zeppelin alright with you?”

  “It’s fine. I told you what I liked.”

  “Yes, you did.” He gently tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear, then nuzzled my neck and murmured, “Ahh, you’re wearing my favorite perfume.”

  I gave a breathless laugh as his warm breath tickled the side of my neck and my earlobe, but he straightened and got off the sofa without kissing me. I was momentarily disappointed, then figured that it was probably for the best. If we’d started kissing then we probably would’ve missed dinner, and the last thing I wanted to do was make Miss Maggie angry. She had the power to make you violently ill or even kill you, and I always tried to stay in people’s good graces. I glanced up when Adam returned with his own drink, and as he sat back down beside me I said, “Are you on call this weekend?”

  “No. I usually just work Monday through Friday, unless a dire emergency comes up.”

  “What exactly do you do? I mean what type of doctor are you?”

  “You mean what’s my specialty?”

  I nodded and sipped my drink as I gazed at his handsome face. He didn’t seem bothered by my staring, and in a matter-of-fact voice he replied, “I do a little bit of everything.”

  “Sounds interesting.”

  “Mm-hmm.” He took a sip of his drink and added, “Dinner should be ready soon. Shall we?” He got up and pulled me to my feet, but halfway to the dining room the front door
opened and his brother entered the room. He was just as handsome as Adam, and he gave me a polite smile as he said, “Hello. You must be Sophie.”

  “Yes, I am.”

  “Nice to meet you. I’m Alex, Adam’s brother, but I guess you already figured that out.”

  I smiled and nodded, then stood to the side while the two brothers engaged in some small talk. After a few minutes I overheard Alex inquire, “So have you told her yet?”

  “No, Alex, I haven’t. Mind your own business, will you?”

  I cleared my throat and nervously inquired, “Has he told me what yet?”

  Adam frowned at his brother and turned his attention to me, then sighed and said, “I’ll tell you after dinner.”

  “Tell me what?”

  “You’ll find out after dinner.”

  My uneasy feeling suddenly increased to full-blown anxiety, and I couldn’t help wondering what secret Adam had kept from me. Was he already married? Did he have a girlfriend? The unanswered questions continued to swirl inside my troubled mind as Adam and I sat down at the table, and the atmosphere was positively subdued as Adam and I ate in near silence. He seemed to be angry with his brother about something, and I could only guess that it had something to do with whatever it was that Adam hadn’t informed me about yet. After dinner we skipped dessert and coffee, and after a few more moments of tense silence Adam said, “Let’s go into the living room, shall we? There’s something I need to tell you.”

  So this was it, I thought as I glumly followed him into the living room. He was going to break my heart, and tears suddenly sprang to my eyes as I sat down on the sofa. It just wasn’t fair, I thought as I watched Adam pace restlessly in front of the wet bar. He suddenly went behind it and mixed two drinks, then returned to the sofa and handed one to me as he said, “Here, you might need this.”

  Oh, God, this was getting worse by the second. I reluctantly accepted the drink he’d made and took a cautious sip, then nodded and said, “Mmm. That’s good.”

  “It’s brandy.” He sat down beside me and sighed, then added, “I wanted to wait before I told you, because I don’t usually tell people upfront if they don’t already know. I like to get to know someone before I drop this particular bomb on them.”

  “And what bomb would that be?”

  Adam turned to face me and replied, “I’m blind.”

  My mouth dropped open in surprise at his words, and in a stammering voice I inquired, “But how? You get around as if you can see just like the rest of us.”

  Adam sighed again and nodded, then replied, “Yes, I know. I went blind five years ago, after my neurologist discovered a growth on my optic nerve. I knew that if I didn’t do anything I would go blind, and I also knew that surgery might make me blind as well. But without the surgery I might have died, so I went ahead and had it done. I was blind when I came out of surgery.”

  “God, Adam, I’m so sorry. That’s awful.”

  He shrugged and replied, “There’s no reason for you to be sorry. It wasn’t your fault. I knew the risks going in and decided that I’d rather be blind than dead.”

  “Wise decision.”

  “I get around so well because, in my mind, I can still see how things are. I took the time to create a system that would allow me to get around as if I still had my sight. I count steps from one point to the next. It’s fifteen steps from the business office to the elevator, on the next floor, it’s fifty steps from the elevator to the cafeteria, and so on.”

  “But how do you practice medicine if you can’t see?”

  “I do consulting.”

  “Oh.”

  “I get all the information regarding a patient’s symptoms and attempt to make a diagnosis. Most of the time I’m right. I also do surgical consulting, and I can still physically examine someone with my hands.”

  I nodded but said nothing as he continued to explain things to me, but I tuned him out as those negative thoughts began swirling in my head. So that’s why he’d been so nice to me--he didn’t know what I looked like! The thought was positively depressing, and I swallowed hard as hot tears of self-pity welled in my eyes. If he had known, I doubted that I’d be sitting here in his living room in his fancy house and getting kissed by him. I was in such a depressed mood that even Adam stopped talking, and his face was etched with concern as he gently inquired, “Is something wrong?”

  I was suddenly thankful that he couldn’t see the tears shimmering in my eyes as I forlornly replied, “No.”

  “I don’t believe you,” he softly replied as he gently framed my face with his hands and brushed his lips across mine. Whereas before his kisses had excited me tremendously, now I felt nothing but self-loathing as he attempted to deepen the kiss. I put my hands against his chest and gently pushed him away, then said, “Adam, don’t.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I--”

  “Because what, Sophie?”

  “Because I’m not what you think I am.”

  He frowned at my statement and inquired, “And what is that supposed to mean?”

  “It means that I’m not exactly supermodel pretty. I know that if you could see me, I probably wouldn’t even be sitting here, and I also know that you wouldn’t be kissing me.”

  “Says who?” he demanded as his frown deepened. I shook my head and replied, “I say, because I happen to know these things.”

  “You do, do you?”

  “Yes, I do.”

  “Then I’m afraid you don’t know very much, sweetheart. And you don’t really know me that well if you think I’m that shallow.”

  “Actually, I don’t know you that well, but I never said I thought you were shallow.”

  “What made you approach me Monday in the cafeteria?”

  “The fact that you were reading a book.”

  Adam folded his arms across his chest and added, “And? What else?”

  It was my turn to feel shallow as I blushed and mumbled, “And you were nice-looking.”

  “But you still got up and walked over to me, thinking that I was going to just brush you off. Am I right?”

  “Yes.”

  “And I didn’t, did I?”

  “No.”

  “And do you want to know why?”

  “I already know why. You couldn’t see me.”

  “Sophie, honey, your looks don’t matter to me, because I can’t see you anyway. I can only visualize in my mind what you look like. And that’s good enough for me. That, and the fact that you were nice enough to sit down and talk to me. That meant a great deal to me, whether you believe that or not.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I’m only human, Sophie. I get lonely as well. The fact that I can’t see makes people nervous, for some reason.”

  His words surprised me. Surely a man of his caliber and extreme good looks never suffered in the social department, but--

  “I was thrilled that someone thought enough of me to approach me and talk to me like we were old friends. Most people know I’m blind, and I just assumed that you did too, since you work in the hospital.”

  “I’m sorry, Adam.”

  He sighed and glanced in my general direction, and in a puzzled voice I inquired, “How do you do that?”

  “How do I do what?”

  “How do you look at someone as if you’re really looking at them or into their eyes?”

  “Like I said, I use my mind to visualize. Between that and the sound of a person’s voice, I can usually pinpoint their location. It’s true what they say--a blind person’s senses become extremely sharp and heightened. I can tell who you are just by your smell.”

  I frowned and said, “I don’t smell, Adam.”

  He laughed at my serious tone and said, “I didn’t mean that kind of smell.”

  “Oh.”

  “Every person has a unique scent, which is how I remember them.”

  I was fascinated by his confessions, and my voice was full of awe as I said, “So Mickey is your seeing-eye dog?�
��

  “Yeah.”

  “I’m sure he would’ve torn me to shreds if you hadn’t opened the door.”

  “Not really. He just would’ve kept you at bay until I arrived.”

  “Which he did.”

  “Mm-hmm.”

  “Is there any chance you’ll ever get your sight back?”

  “The only way I’ll ever be able to see again is if someone dies and donates their entire body for organ harvesting. I’m on the list for an optic nerve replacement, but those are kind of rare.”

  “Would it be dangerous?”

  “Any surgery carries risks, Sophie.”

  “I see.” I suddenly realized what I’d just said and added, “God, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that.”

  Adam suddenly laughed and replied, “It’s alright, Sophie. You don’t have to change the way you talk just because I’m blind.”

  I glanced around at all the books in the living room and inquired, “I’m assuming you read Braille?”

  “Of course.”

  “Seems like you’ve adjusted fairly well.”

  “I’m alright now, but five years ago I was a mess. I was bitter and angry that it had happened to me. I guess there’s a difference when you’ve had your sight your entire life and suddenly lose it as opposed to never having it at all. I guess that saying’s true--you can’t miss what you’ve never had.”

  “At least you had your sight. That way you were able to store memories of things that someone blind from birth or early childhood has never even seen.”

  “Someone like that wouldn’t be able to comprehend everything without going insane or having a heart attack if their sight was suddenly restored.”

 

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