They entered the large ballroom of the reunion and he found his date, Cali, standing stiffly, legs apart in a ready stance, scanning the room with narrowed eyes. Even off duty she was always on. She was his partner, a great cop with a long-term plan to become police chief. He was her date tonight as a buffer against her former classmates, three asshole guys in particular from her criminal justice classes who’d made it their mission to make Cali feel like an interloper, calling her “weak geek” and a “guy wannabe” every chance they got. He knew her only as a tough competent cop. They frequently stepped in for each other on social occasions, but never once considered seeing each other. She was focused on her career. He refused to date a coworker. Besides, he preferred more softness in a woman, probably to make up for what he lacked in his own life.
“Hey,” he said, stopping in front of Cali with Ally.
Cali snapped to attention. “Where were you?” she asked through clenched teeth. “You’re supposed to be my plus one.” She stared at Ally. “Who are you?”
Ethan made the introductions. Then he spoke directly to Cali under his breath. “She’s having a rough night, so dial it back.”
Ally smiled at Cali. “Nice to meet you up close. I saw you with Ethan from afar once at Garner’s.”
“You too,” Cali said, still sounding pissed.
“She’s sitting with us for dinner,” Ethan told Cali.
“Fine,” Cali replied, her eyes darting around the room. “Just don’t leave me alone like that again.” She gave him a fierce glare. “I looked like a loser standing here by myself.”
“Why didn’t you go talk to someone?” Ethan asked, which dialed the glare to death-ray level.
Cali whispered fiercely in his ear, “Two of my enemies aren’t here and the other flat out ignored my hello. Looked right at me and turned his head away.”
He nodded once, his jaw tight. “Sorry.” He was pissed on her behalf at the slight and also pissed he hadn’t been at her side for it. Together they would’ve taken that guy down so fast. Metaphorically speaking. But he hadn’t wanted to leave Ally all alone in her distress.
Cali lifted her chin, stoic in the face of adversity.
“I love your dress,” Ally told Cali. “Where’d you get it?”
Cali looked down at herself. “Thanks. My mom got it for me for college graduation years ago. I have no idea where it came from.”
“Well, it’s super cute,” Ally said.
“Should we eat?” Cali asked.
Ally nodded. “I could eat.”
“Let’s go.” He crooked his elbow, offering his arm to Cali to soothe her ruffled feathers. She gripped his shirt over his bicep and he shifted her hand to rest on his forearm. She wasn’t great with social stuff. He understood her because his “little sister” Mad was the same way—one of the guys and not quite up to speed on the whole woman-man flirting thing. Ally walked on his other side. He considered offering his arm to her too, but decided against it. One woman on his arm was plenty.
After they piled their plates with an assortment of prime rib, lemon chicken, and pasta, they settled at a table. Some people joined them and introduced themselves. Ally knew a couple of them. No one seemed to remember Cali or the other way around. It had been that way all night.
“You sure you went here?” he whispered to Cali.
“I spent a lot of time studying in the library,” Cali responded in a low voice. “Or at the gym.”
Figured. She had a master’s degree in criminal justice and was sculpted muscle from head to toe.
Cali was quiet, staring at her plate. “I shouldn’t have come,” she mumbled. “It was a stupid idea.”
Oh fuck. He’d never seen her upset. He elbowed her. “Hey, we can still have fun. We’ll show off our moves on the dance floor.”
She snorted. “I don’t dance.”
“We’ll slow dance, okay? It’ll be good.”
Cali lifted watery eyes to his. “Thank you.”
A twinge of sympathy made his chest ache. He was no softie, but seeing the tough Cali near tears got to him. Maybe because he was also stoic and tough. “No problem.” He checked in with Ally on his other side, who was attacking a pile of baked ziti with gusto. “Feeling a little better?”
“Actually, yeah. Comfort food helps.” She smiled at him and Cali. “Plus knowing I’m with friends.”
He warmed to be counted as a friend after such a short time. He must’ve done something right to make her feel comfortable with him and cheer up a bit. Women tended to flirt with him, not consider him a friend.
Dinner was quiet at their end of the table. Cali and Ally finished eating and became very subdued. Neither of them wanted dessert. The music started up again, some loud club music, the DJ hollering at them to get out there and dance.
Cali stood abruptly, so he stood too. “Let’s go,” she said. “I don’t need to prove anything to anyone.”
He understood. She was quick to cut her losses. Still, what about Ally?
“You want to stop for coffee?” he asked Cali, figuring he could invite Ally along too. He and Cali frequently had coffee after a rough shift at work. The simple act of drinking a cup of joe helped them come back to the realm of normality. Some of the stuff they saw on the job stuck with them and not in a good way.
“Perfect,” Cali replied.
He leaned down to where Ally sat, speaking close to her ear so she could hear him over the loud music. She smelled like flowers, delicate and soft. “We’re heading out, stopping for coffee, if you want to come along.”
Ally looked from him to Cali. “I wouldn’t want to intrude.”
“Let’s go,” Cali said and strode to the exit.
“It’s not a problem,” Ethan told Ally.
“Sure?” Ally asked.
Cali was already halfway to the door.
“Yeah, I’m sure,” he said.
Ally took one last look around, her gaze stopping on a dark-haired man with a soul patch standing with a group of guys, all of them yukking it up like they were back at the frat. She turned back to Ethan, lifting her chin. “I’d love to go for coffee.”
“Come on, we gotta move it. Cali’s probably in the car with the engine running by now.”
She laughed and they headed out, walking at a brisk pace. He quickly gave her directions to a diner nearby and headed for Cali’s old Chevy, which was in fact running, Cali staring straight ahead in the driver’s seat.
A short while later, they were seated in a quiet booth in the back of the diner. He sat on the bench seat next to Cali, who seemed more relaxed now, though still subdued. Across the table, Ally rested her head in her hand and sighed. For the first time ever, he was the only cheerful guy with a bunch of sad sacks. Hmm…what to do. Before he could come up with anything, Ally spoke up.
“I really appreciate you guys letting me tag along. I came here tonight for one specific purpose and it was a complete disaster.”
“What was it?” Cali asked, surprising him. She was usually quiet during their de-stress cup of joe.
Ally glanced at him.
“Doesn’t leave this room,” he assured her.
Cali nodded.
Ally took a deep breath and then in a flood of words told them all about Dean Sweeney (rhymes with weenie), her first love in a serious four-year-long relationship, and how much she’d hoped tonight would be their rapturous reunion of lost love.
He sat there in stunned silence at the raw confession. This was a woman who loved in a big way. Cali was silent too.
Ally didn’t need any encouragement. She kept going, speaking in her animated way, hands gesturing, blond bangs bouncing in time with her movements. She told them how, after she and Dean broke up, she had hot sex with Mark based on some erotic romance novel, and she thought that meant he was the One, so she quickly got engaged to him, and then ran away at the altar because of Dean, who had a girlfriend. His head was spinning, but he was pretty sure he was following as she barreled on, confessing that
she hadn’t had sex in way too long, but she’d given up the fantasy and would probably be alone for the rest of her life.
He blinked.
Ally’s chin quivered.
His gut clenched. He didn’t know how to fix it. He wasn’t even sure exactly what she meant. What fantasy? Did sex have something to do with it? Why did she have to be alone if her ex had already moved on?
Cali spoke up. “So that’s your problem? Your ex has a girlfriend?”
Ally looked to the ceiling, blinking rapidly in a futile attempt to hold back tears.
He shot Cali a dark look for making Ally cry and then turned to Ally. “You don’t have to tell us.”
“No, it’s okay.” Ally sniffled and swiped under her eyes with her finger. Cali grabbed a napkin from the dispenser on the table and tossed it at Ally. “Thanks.” She dried her tears with the napkin and took a shaky breath. “He doesn’t have a girlfriend now. He said he loves me, but he doesn’t love me. Not in that way.”
“What do you mean not in that way?” Cali asked. Which was his question. What the hell did that even mean? The man spoke in riddles.
“I guess it just means he’s not into me anymore,” Ally choked out. “Unless I want to hook up for old times’ sake.”
“Bastard,” he spat.
Cali scowled. “He needs to be neutered.”
Ally burst out laughing. “He does.” She quickly dropped her smile, clearly still hurting.
The waitress arrived to take their orders. Ally gave the waitress a tight smile and ordered a coffee with extra cream and sugar, even adding a please at the end. Down in the dumps and heartbroken, she still made the effort to speak kindly to their waitress. He liked that kind of internal strength, respected it.
After the waitress left, Ally gave him and Cali a small smile. “I’m sorry I overshared. I’m sure you didn’t need to hear the nitty-gritty of my sucky love life.”
“No problem,” he and Cali said in near unison.
Ally smiled. “You guys are too cute.”
She thought he and Cali were a couple. Before he could correct that assumption, Cali piped up.
“My turn to share. I came here tonight with one mission—show my enemies I’m no longer a weak geek and no chance in hell I can be mistaken for a guy wannabe. My weapon of choice—sexy dress that shows off my strong body and a hot date.”
Ethan jolted at the hot-date part. “Thanks.” Cali never complimented him.
Cali ignored him, instead speaking directly to Ally. “My mission also failed. Two of the guys weren’t even there and the other ignored me. I dunno, maybe he didn’t recognize me. My hair is shorter now and I had Lasik to correct my vision, so no more thick glasses, but still, I don’t think I look that different.” She paused, staring off in the distance. “I don’t know why it mattered so much to me to show those guys up, but…” She blew out a breath. “My point is, we are simpatico and I feel you, girl.”
“Oh, Cali!” Ally exclaimed, brightening instantly. “Thank you for sharing that. I feel so much better knowing I’m not the only one who built up this reunion into some big life-changing deal.”
“You are not alone,” Cali said.
Ally’s face crumpled and then she nodded, her eyes watery, lips pressed together tightly.
Ethan glared at Cali for upsetting Ally again. Cali lifted one shoulder and shot him a look like not my fault she’s a wimp. He jerked his head toward Ally like fix it.
Cali stared at Ally. “Let me guess, your fantasy was a man to sweep you off your feet and bring you everlasting happiness, and now that you’ve given it up, you’re afraid to be just you.”
Ally pushed her bangs out of her eyes and whispered, “How did you know?”
Ethan turned to Cali, very interested in her answer. How did she know that?
Cali shrugged. “Culture.”
That was vague, but Ally seemed satisfied, nodding in agreement. “Too many romantic movies and books from too young an age. I totally bought into the romantic fantasy.”
“I depend on no man for my well-being,” Cali replied.
“But doesn’t Ethan make you happy?” Ally asked.
“I make me happy,” Cali said bluntly.
The waitress arrived with their coffees. After everyone had doctored their coffees with cream and sugar, Ally said longingly to Cali, “I so want to be you.”
Cali blushed, and Ethan bit back a smile. Cali never blushed.
Ally met his eyes, a flash of longing in them, and quickly lowered them, taking a sip of her coffee. Maybe Ally was wishing she was Cali to be with him. Or maybe she just wanted Cali’s kick-ass attitude. He wasn’t sure and didn’t want to show his hand yet. Despite Ally’s current distress, his senses were on full alert, completely tuned in to her—blood rushing through his veins, pulse quickened, nerves tingling in his fingers aching to touch. And not just because she was beautiful and sexy as all hell in that dress. His head and heart were in a different place since his foster mom, Peggy, died three weeks ago. It was a wake-up call, losing her, the only mom he’d ever known. He’d never told her he loved her, had never said it to anyone. And now it was too late.
He had no memory of his parents or the car accident that killed them. He’d been three years old, asleep in the backseat. No kin had come forward; his grandparents hadn’t wanted to raise a kid again. He’d had no one, bouncing through foster homes until he was eight years old and landed in Peggy’s house. Shortly after that, she introduced him to the Campbell family. They made all the difference—Peggy, along with his honorary dad and brothers and sister—but it wasn’t blood. He wanted that now more than ever. A family of his own. He was ready, knew he had to be more open because—
He wanted love.
No one had ever said they loved him. Not Peggy, not any of the Campbells, not a girlfriend. Okay, sure, Joe Campbell, his honorary dad, had included him in stuff like that—love you guys, love you knuckleheads—but it had never been specific to him. No one had ever said, “I love you, Ethan.”
Ally’s blond hair fell in her face as she held her mug, staring down at it. He wanted to brush her hair behind her ear, stroke her cheek to see if it was as soft as it looked. Timing was bad. She was too upset. He knew he had to wait, though every instinct was telling him to go for it.
Maybe he’d already been heading in this settled-down direction before Peggy’s death. He hadn’t taken a woman to his bed in a while. He’d been choosy because he wanted to wake up with someone who made him smile. Maybe that was corny or unrealistic—he wasn’t much of a smiler anyway—but that was where he’d drawn the line. He had enough harsh in his line of work and he longed for the simple genuine happiness of waking up to a woman who could make him smile.
Ally looked up and slapped her palm on the table. “Do you have any idea how much time and energy I’ve wasted looking for love, trying to hang onto love, and hoping for love?”
It seemed like a rhetorical question, so he remained quiet.
“A lot?” Cali guessed.
“Too damn much!” Ally exclaimed. “I was sold a bill of goods that love would solve everything. It doesn’t.” She slowly shook her head. “I need to learn a new way. I’ve put my life on hold, waiting for the fairy tale. I need to break free of that mindset.” Her blue eyes lit up. “Like a butterfly breaking out of its chrysalis, you know? I need to focus on me and find what will make me happy.”
“And what’s that?” Ethan asked.
Ally folded her hands on the table and stared at them. “I don’t know, but I know I need to find out.” She turned to Cali. “I really liked what you said about being responsible for your own happiness.”
Cali gave her a high five and Ally turned to him. He gave her one, happy to see her looking more steady and confident.
Ally blew out a breath. “You know, I think maybe subconsciously I was preparing for a solo life. I just moved into a one-bedroom apartment, living alone for the first time in my life, though I did move near friends.” She purs
ed her sexy lips. “And I probably wouldn’t have moved if my roommate, Carrie, hadn’t moved in with her fiancé.” She waved that away. “It still counts.” She stared at Cali’s sculpted arm. “Maybe I can start with a fitness regimen to take better care of myself. Not even to look good for a guy, just for me.” She pulled her phone from her purse. “I’m going to text Charlotte right now. She’s a personal trainer. I’ll get a session in with her or at least some advice on what to do.” She texted rapidly and then put her phone away. “Done.”
“You look fit to me,” Ethan said casually. Just pointing out a fact, not lusting over your sexy little body.
“I’m naturally petite, but I’m not strong.” Ally flexed her biceps, which were nonexistent. “I want to be strong like you, Cali.”
Cali popped a bicep. “I lift weights.”
“That’s an idea too.” Ally blew out a breath that made her bangs lift. “God, I’ve lost so much time, so much wasted—” She stopped herself. “I’ll make a plan. You know, stuff I want to try. Self-improvement things to kind of meet the new me.”
“I like it,” Cali said. “The butterfly version of you.”
“Yes,” Ally breathed. “Yes, I love that.”
“Sounds good to me,” Ethan put in.
“I’m actually looking forward to it,” Ally said firmly with a bob of her head. “A new direction. I’m going to learn to enjoy being single so I can be responsible for my own happiness.” Her blue eyes were shining, her smile bright, and he wanted her. In his bed and in his life.
Her new quest to enjoy singlehood should’ve been a deterrent for him, but it wasn’t. Tell him he couldn’t do something and he instantly wanted to. Part of his contrary nature that got him where he was today. He’d had a real problem with authority as a kid, angry and belligerent, big chip on his shoulder over no one wanting to adopt him. Not even Peggy, though he’d lived with her the longest. So what did he do? He became the authority figure he once despised. He was careful not to be an ass about it; he was one of the good guys.
Mess With Me Page 2
