That got her thinking of Hailey’s friends-with-benefits situation and how it had kept Hailey single for so long because she had the sex part taken care of and it left her plenty of time to focus on her wedding planning business.
Could Ethan be her friend with benefits?
Carrie poked her arm. “You awake?” she whispered.
Oh, thank God. A distraction. That was a dangerous line of thinking. “Yes,” Ally whispered back.
“Will you be my maid of honor?” Carrie asked.
Ally’s eyes teared up. “Of course, I’d be honored.” She went to squeeze Carrie’s hand at the same time as Carrie reached out and they smacked hands and then squeezed. “I’ve missed our talks.”
“Me too,” Carrie whispered. “We should have some more girls’ nights out, especially with so many of us busy with our guys now.”
“I’d like that. What did Zach say about you marrying yourself?” That was her fiancé, a professor of anthropology, who cooked amazing meals.
“He thought it was fascinating. He did a bunch of research and told me it’s a growing trend here and internationally.”
“Such an academic.”
“He is,” Carrie said dreamily.
“Hard to believe you once thought he was a bad boy.”
“He still is in the bedroom.”
Ally didn’t want to hear it. Her own sex life sucked. “You think friends with benefits ever works out? Like you just stay friends with that person even if you stop the benefits part?”
“Ooh, boy. I think it would get real complicated real fast. It’s not easy to separate sex from emotion, especially for us. You’re a lot like me, happiest with a long monogamous relationship.”
She sighed. “You’re right.”
“Who’s the guy?”
“I don’t want to say because then you’ll look at him funny.”
“Ethan?”
“How did you know?”
Carrie giggled. “I saw you guys at Garner’s after book club. You had a brief chat and his eyes followed you everywhere. He’s a great guy. Zach considers him a brother since they grew up in the same foster home. If you married him, then we’d be even more like sisters.”
Ally’s jaw clenched. It was like Carrie completely missed the whole point of tonight’s ceremony. “I’m on this new empowerment path,” she said patiently. “I’m trying to find my own happiness.”
“Hey, you’re talking to the queen of empowerment. Remember my crazy plan to meet a bad boy and get sexually liberated? New clothes, new contacts, new attitude, even new career path. But guess what? With the right guy, you can still be empowered. Hell, I feel even more empowered now that I’m with Zach. He’s so supportive. A true partner.”
“Not every guy is Zach,” she said, trying to keep the twinge of jealousy from her voice.
Carrie yawned. “Sometimes it’s worth the risk of finding out.”
Ally fake yawned. “Mmm…goodnight.”
“Night, roomie.”
Ally’s throat tightened. They used to be roommates and had been very close. Ally was still getting used to living alone since Carrie had moved in with Zach. “Night, roomie.”
Chapter Eight
Ally woke early Sunday morning back in her own bed, completely rejuvenated from a weekend with friends and a decadent day at the spa. Of course they loved Claire for herself, not her gobs of money, but sometimes it was nice to enjoy it with her. None of them could ever have afforded a spa like that on their own. Before they’d headed home last night, Claire assured Ally the assistant job would be hers if she wanted it, but she wanted Ally to first talk to her assistant, Arianna, to get an understanding of exactly what it was like because, as Claire said, “It’s not always glam. Sometimes it’s like wrestling an octopus trying to keep on top of everything.” Ally promised to talk to Arianna and think it over before moving forward. Claire wasn’t in a rush since Arianna wasn’t leaving for a couple of months when Fierce Loving wrapped just before Thanksgiving. Claire was taking off for the holidays. After the New Year was soon enough and would give Ally’s boss plenty of time to find a substitute.
Ally was giddy at the idea of working in Hollywood. It certainly wouldn’t be boring. And she’d probably get to travel. Claire was always moving with the location of her current movie.
She smiled to herself, loving this newfound contentment in knowing she was enough. She didn’t have to hope and wish that a prince would show up and give her some fantasy happy-ever-after. She had the happy-ever-after already, mostly. Great things were happening. She sat up and snagged her phone from the nightstand, eager to text her friends congratulations messages on their newly solo married status.
As soon as the phone powered on, she found a text from Ethan. Hike today at one. You up for it? There’s a cave. Intermediate level.
A cave? Who could resist a cave? Even though it had been a tough haul on the last hike, she’d been proud of herself for finishing it. After two weeks of doing the daily exercises Charlotte had given her, she was already feeling stronger and more fit. It was the first weekend of October, her absolute favorite time of year, crisp and cool, the leaves bursting with color. And a group hike felt safe. No chance she’d climb his incredible body surrounded by other hikers. She quickly texted back. Yes.
He responded immediately. You want to get a bite to eat before?
Super casual lunch between friends? No prob. Sure.
I’ll pick you up at 11:45.
She texted a smiley emoticon that he didn’t respond to and quickly switched over to a group text congratulating her friends. Tons of confetti, champagne, and dancing emoticons texted back to her. She let out a small happy laugh.
She hopped in the shower and found her mind wandering to shirtless Ethan on their last hike. No, you are not obsessing over a guy. She worked the shampoo into her hair and made herself focus on the wonderful weekend she’d had with her friends.
He’d given her the shirt off his back.
That meant something to her. It spoke to his nature—protective, chivalrous, generous. She’d have to be made of stone not to notice his masculine beauty, bronzed skin and sculpted muscle. No scars or tattoos either, just smooth skin that she longed to touch and kiss and taste. She sighed dreamily and then groaned. She would not be falling head over ass in lust again. She always spent too much time thinking about guys. Thinking, not doing.
She quickly finished up in the shower. She wouldn’t try to look nice for him. She pulled on another tick-repellant outfit—an old thin white sweater, khakis, and tube socks on top of her pants. She stared at the socks and quickly tucked them back under her pants. No makeup, and she tied her hair back in a simple ponytail at the nape of her neck. She stared at herself in the mirror. Her skin glowed from the rejuvenating facial at the spa, but that couldn’t be helped. She pulled out the hair band and shook her hair out.
Nerves skittered through her, and she took off the entire outfit. It was too early. She’d do her workout routine, relax with a book, and then get dressed at the last minute because this was just a casual outing between friends. This wasn’t a date. She’d gotten off track for a minute there. Now she was back.
By eleven thirty, she’d accomplished a lot—worked out and read five pages of the romantic second-chance story from book club before her high energy level forced her to put the e-reader down and clean her apartment. She dabbed the sweat from her face with a tissue. Shower? Nah. She’d just get sweaty again on the hike. She got dressed in her tick-repelling clothes, grabbed her sun hat and purse, and headed out the door. She got all the way to her car and halted unsteadily. She wasn’t driving; Ethan was picking her up. Her stomach did a jittery dance.
Okay, calm the fuck down. Her shoulders sank, disappointed in herself for getting so worked up over seeing him when she’d tried so hard not to be. She had to let go of all this guy angst and steady herself. That sologamy ceremony meant something. Oh! She’d forgotten her silver heart necklace. That would be a good remin
der.
She turned, heading for the stairs when she ran into Ethan. “Hey! You’re early!”
He gave her a slow sexy smile that made her stomach dip and her pulse thrum. His dark blue eyes ate her up, lingering on her lips, drifting to her neck, and then a slow perusal down her body. Her breath hitched. Finally his eyes locked with hers. Hungry and hot.
She gulped.
“I made better time than I thought,” he said gruffly. “Ready to go?”
“Just need to grab one thing.” She headed for the stairs and he followed. She glanced over at his gorgeous profile, sharp cheekbones, just a hint of scruff on his square jaw. Deliciously rugged good looks. She quickly faced forward. “Oh, you’re coming with, well, okay, sure, I wouldn’t leave a friend out in the cold.” Not that it was cold. It was freaking hot whenever he got close.
He stopped. “I can wait here if you’re not comfortable.”
“Don’t be silly. No big.” She picked up the pace, anxious energy driving her. “So what’s the deal with this cave? Is it really old?”
“It’s been there a long time, don’t know exactly how long. Legend is the Furman lived there all winter.”
“The Furman? You mean like a trapper?”
“Yeah. But he was kind of a wanderer. He traveled all over the Northeast, trading furs, but he wintered in that cave. They called him the Furman not just because he sold furs, but because he wore a huge fur coat made up of all kinds of animal furs stitched together. This was back in Civil War times. They say he never spoke.”
“That is cool!”
He flashed a smile that made her pulse skyrocket. “It might just be a legend. There weren’t good written records back then. Though there is an old picture of him at the Trailside Museum.”
“Ooh!” She grabbed his arm impulsively, met hard warm muscle, and quickly dropped her hold. “I’ve got to see that.”
“Sure thing. After the hike.” He grinned. “Got to give you some motivation.”
“Ha! I’m going to own that trail.”
“Own it, huh? Nice.”
They reached the top of the stairs and she opened the door to her apartment. He followed close behind, looking around curiously. “I haven’t had time to do much decorating,” she said.
“It’s nice.”
“I like more color. I’ll probably paint the walls a deep gold. Be right back!” She headed to her tall chest of drawers, where she’d left the necklace in the narrow top drawer, and slipped it on. She closed her eyes, deep breathing as she held the heart, rubbing her finger over the rounded surface, bringing back the contented feeling when she’d put it on at the ceremony. She opened her eyes, centered again, and headed back to the living room.
Ethan was standing in the center of the room, arms crossed. He wore a simple gray T-shirt and faded jeans, but still held an air of authority. In fact, when he wasn’t smiling, he made an imposing figure, sort of filling up the space with barely restrained masculine power. Not just strength, but a tightly coiled energy. Like a grizzled outlaw in the Old West. She was glad he was on her side.
“Ready,” she chirped.
He immediately headed for the door and opened it for her. “I got you tick repellant.”
She halted in front of him. “You got me tick repellant?”
“It was highly rated. Works for twelve hours.”
Her heart squeezed at this kindness, a warm glow spreading through her. He wasn’t expressive, but then he did this kind of gesture, knowing her concern about ticks. “Thank you, Eth. I really appreciate it.”
His lips parted in surprise. “No problem.” His tone was brusque like he was embarrassed by her appreciation.
She locked up and they headed downstairs.
“So what’d you have to get?” he asked.
She lifted her heart necklace from under her shirt. “My commitment necklace. I married myself on Friday with all of my friends. They got married too.”
“Huh.”
Normally she would find that kind of remark offensive, a noncommittal “huh” in the face of such significance, but now she was a new woman, accepting of her flaws and those of others. Like men who couldn’t string together enough words for an adequate response to important news.
She tucked her necklace back under her shirt and patted it. They reached the bottom of the stairs and he gestured toward his Jeep. Then he held the passenger door open for her. She climbed in, already used to him doing the gentleman thing. She was sure it was Mr. Campbell’s influence. All the Campbell men had been raised with excellent gentleman manners and Ethan had grown up close to them.
She waited for him to close the door. Instead he just stared at her, his brows crinkling together like he was thinking hard.
“So even Claire and Charlotte got married?” he asked. Those two were already married to their husbands.
She laughed. “Yes. It’s not a legally binding ceremony. It’s a commitment to self, to love, honor, and cherish. To accept my flaws, to be kind to myself. We even went on a honeymoon.”
He smirked.
She wagged her finger at him. “I know what you’re thinking with that smirk, but it was actually a beautiful thing. We all stayed in Claire’s penthouse suite and spent the whole day Saturday being pampered at the hotel spa. I feel like a new woman.”
His gaze dropped to her mouth. He met her eyes, his expression unreadable. “Congratulations to you and yourself. Top down or up?”
“Thank you! It’s good up.”
He shut the door and got in the driver’s side. She was suddenly hyperaware of him in the close confines of the Jeep. His woodsy male scent, his large hand on the gear shift, his strong profile, his utter composure. There was a stillness on the surface of him that made her want to find out what was underneath. Did he ever let go? Did he have moments of excitement?
And why did it matter?
She gave herself a mental head shake.
He pulled out of the lot. “Pizza okay?”
“Sure.” She stared out the window, barely seeing the passing scenery—trees in a blur of fall colors—while her thoughts jumped all over the place. Sexy Ethan. Her spectacular relationship face-plants. The painful aftermath. The sologamy ceremony. Exactly how long did she need to commit to herself before letting a man into her life? Six months? A year?
Could she take the edge off this lust with a friends-with-benefits situation? It didn’t have to be a big thing, right? It wouldn’t be jumping in with both feet if she just tiptoed into this one small part of being with a guy.
“I’m glad you could make it today,” he said gruffly.
She turned to him and worked hard to sound normal—not like a sex-addled woman on the verge. “Me too. This fitness stuff is really starting to work for me. Like I actually look forward to it and feel better afterward.”
“That’s kind of the point.”
“Okay, Mr. Muscles.”
He flashed a rare big smile. Her breath caught, her heart hammering. Oh, this was bad, bad, bad. He had way too big an effect on her.
“I thought I was Mr. Tough Guy,” he said.
She tore her gaze away. “You’re both.”
His voice was gentle. “Is that good?”
“Only you can answer that.” Because she was rapidly melting into a puddle of lust.
He was quiet.
“Did you bring extra weight in your backpack again?” she asked.
“Yeah.”
“Mr. Muscles Tough Guy for sure.”
He laughed, a short bark of a laugh.
She fingered the silver heart, her skin hot underneath the cool metal.
~ ~ ~
Ethan tried not to think too hard on Ally’s wedding to herself and what it all meant during their lunch, but his mind kept circling back to it. He waited until she had a chance to eat a slice of pizza and was pushing her salad around with a fork before saying, “So how did Claire get married to herself when she’s already married to Jake?” Chicken. That wasn’t the questi
on he really needed to ask.
“I told you it’s not a legally binding ceremony.” She chomped on a crouton, looking thoughtful. “It’s more about honoring yourself. Vowing not to settle for less than you deserve, especially in relationships. Sets the bar higher, you know? I’m learning to be content as a single person. I guess you already figured all that out, but it’s new for me.”
He wasn’t content. He ached with want. Not just lust either. He wanted a home. A real home with a family of his own. His blood. Losing his foster mom weeks ago had put that all into perspective. “I guess,” he muttered.
Ally set her fork down. “Eth, for the first time in my life, I’m fully content to make my life fantastic all by myself.”
He finally spit it out. “So what’s the plan now that you’ve taken this vow? You gonna be single for a long time?”
She stared at the table. “I’m not sure. I’m still figuring things out.” She met his eyes, seeming to be searching his expression. “If the right person came along at the right time…”
He held his breath. Was he that right person? Did she see that in him?
She swallowed visibly, looking away. “The point is I’m not spending all my energy looking and hoping and wishing.”
“Huh.” So how long do I have to wait before I make a move?
She wiped her mouth with a napkin. “If by ‘huh,’ you mean awesome, then I agree.”
“Did you used to spend a lot of energy wishing?” He didn’t wish for anything. He made it happen or it didn’t.
She gave him a small almost sad smile. “Maybe it’s not the same for guys. I grew up wanting to be Cinderella and waiting for my prince.”
“Yeah, no fun to be waiting around for someone. Better to just live your life and then, if you do meet someone, go for it.” Once you get the signal, he added silently. He needed a signal.
She cocked her head and smiled sunnily. “Now where were you ten years ago?”
The blood rushed through his veins. “Right here working.”
Mess With Me Page 9
