Climbing on board, and against his better judgment, Fuse sought her out. He knew she’d be in the mass of passengers who’d come to see them off. Cobalt blue eyes latched onto his intense green ones and held. Long seconds passed before Fuse tore his gaze away and turned his back on her.
He took a seat next to Raider, settling back for the trip home, and closed his eyes. By the time they set down, Fuse hoped the churning ache in his chest would subside. Over the years, he’d worked to put her in the past. After this second chance encounter, he wondered if that would ever happen.
Next to him, Raider found himself immersed in his own thoughts of Ali. He missed her. It had been close to four days since he’d seen her, held her lithe body in his arms. Most of all, he missed her smile, the teasing way she had of getting him to talk, her unshakable love of Timmy.
Raider hadn’t expected such deep feelings for a woman who’d made his life miserable while recovering from the explosion at WETC. She’d done her best to help him heal. Anger at being separated from the work he loved and his foul attitude hadn’t made her job easy. Yet she’d stuck it out. His insults, crude language, and contempt hadn’t turned her away. He’d been a complete ass.
Raider wished he’d told her of his feelings before leaving on this op, but there hadn’t been time. He knew she cared for him, enjoyed their time in and out of bed.
Anything more? Raider could only hope she loved him as he did her. If so, what would he do about it? He rested his head back, closed his eyes, and scrubbed a hand down his stubbled face, suddenly exhausted.
Marriage had never occurred to him in all the years since leaving his grandparents’ home in Casper, Wyoming. Enjoying women, having a good time, yes. Anything permanent? Not a chance.
He’d never lived with a woman, wasn’t certain it was something he could do. Yet, other than being on an op, they hadn’t spent a night out of each other’s arms in weeks.
Raider sensed someone sitting next to him and opened his eyes. Ghost stretched out his legs, draining a bottle of water.
“When are you going to make an honest woman of Ali?”
Eyes narrowing to slits, he studied Ghost’s face. “Is this Dani asking, or you?”
Ghost smiled. “Me. But Dani is Ali’s best friend. Believe me, keeping my wife happy is worth the effort.”
Curious, Raider shifted toward him. “How much work is it?”
“Having a wife? Not much if it’s the right match.”
Raider rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands. Dropping them to his lap, he slid them along his thighs, uncaring who might overhear them. “How did you know Dani was the one?”
Shrugging, Ghost popped a handful of roasted nuts into his mouth, chewing as he thought about Raider’s question. “It got to a point where I couldn’t get her out of my mind. She was the last image I saw at night and the first one in the morning. Without trying, the damn woman controlled everything I did.” He popped another handful of nuts into his mouth. “I’d been a real bastard. Much worse than you were to Ali.”
“Hey…”
“No bullshit, man. You treated her like shit while you were recovering. Still, here she is, allowing you into her bed. What does that tell you?”
Raider held out his hand, waiting as Ghost filled his palm. “I’m considering asking her to marry me.” He filled his mouth with nuts.
“Thought so. All I can say is sweep any doubts out of your head. Ali’s a keeper, and if you don’t wrap her up, another man will.”
Ghost’s words still rolled around in his head when he jumped out of the helo, arrived back at the clubhouse for a short debrief, then drove home. He needed a shower, clean clothes, and a whiskey before heading over to Ali’s.
He knew she’d left for her own place after Wrath agreed the threat to her and Timmy had lessened with the death of four of those involved in the trafficking operation. Mario had other battles to fight since the murders pointed to him and the Devils. The feds had planted themselves outside their clubhouse, following him, Hammer, and Slider everywhere.
Those reasons didn’t stop Wrath from ordering men to guard her house until Raider returned. He’d learned she’d also returned to work, one of the Brethren following her to the hospital and home.
Raider packed clothes into saddlebags, choosing to ride his Harley to her place. He didn’t call ahead to check if it was all right, assuming she wouldn’t turn him away. Mostly, he hoped to surprise her.
Pulling into her drive, he dismounted and looked around. He recognized Boomer’s bike across the street, which meant he and Ali were probably inside. Irrational jealousy shot through him.
Untying the saddlebags, he slung them over his shoulder, stalking to the front door. From now on, he’d be the only man she needed to watch over her.
Raider didn’t knock. Shoving the door open, he dropped the bags onto the floor, and stared. Boomer sat at the dining room table reading while Ali leaned over him, a hand on his shoulder. At the door opening, she twisted around, seeing him.
“Jace.” A broad smile bloomed across her face. Straightening, she closed the distance between them, wrapping her arms around his neck for a kiss. When he continued to scowl, she dropped her arms and stepped away. “Is something wrong?”
His hard gaze shifted from Boomer, who shot him a cocky grin, to Ali. “What’s going on?”
“Sit down and I’ll tell you all about it.”
Boomer’s grin turned to a smirk. He patted the chair next to him. “Yeah. Sit right down next to me.”
Bastard, Raider thought, but sat down to read the paper Boomer handed him. He scanned the top portion before stopping to look at her, incredulous. “Adoption?”
“Well, yes.” She took the seat next to him. “I plan to adopt Timmy. Boomer was reading my statement on my reasons.”
“Sounds good to me, Ali. I wouldn’t change anything.” Boomer scraped the chair over the wood floor and stood. “Unless you two need anything, I’ll get out of here.”
Getting up, she walked around the table, giving Boomer a hug. “Thanks for staying with me.”
Returning her hug, he smirked at Raider before leaning down to give her a quick, chaste kiss. “Anytime, sweetheart.”
Raider stood, slipping between Ali and Boomer. “Time for you to leave.”
Ali’s brow rose. “Jace?”
“No worries, babe. Boomer and I are just communicating.”
Throwing his head back, Boomer laughed. “Yeah. We’re communicating, Ali. Take care of yourself.”
Raider walked him to the door, stepping outside onto the porch. “Did you see anything?”
Boomer’s features turned serious. “Not a thing. Wrath’s probably right. Mario’s got enough trouble without continuing to go after Ali and Timmy.” Turning, he took the few steps to the front walkway. “She’s a real nice, lady. Are you serious about her?”
Raider’s scowl returned. “Dead serious.”
“Well, damn. I was afraid of that.”
Watching Boomer climb onto his bike and ride off, Ghost’s words resonated in his head.
“Ali’s a keeper, and if you don’t wrap her up, another man will.”
He’d bet Boomer wasn’t the only single Brethren who held an interest in her. Placing his hands on his hips, he stared down at his boots.
“Dammit.” Raider hadn’t planned to say anything yet. He craved a sweaty night under the sheets, hearing her call his name as she came over and over. “Well, shit.”
“Jace, is everything all right?”
Turning around, he opened his arms, grateful when she walked right into them. Holding her tight, he thought of what he had to tell her, how difficult it would be to get the words out. All he could do now was pray she understood and didn’t turn him away.
Ali sat on the sofa next to him, legs tucked under her, an untouched glass of wine in her hand. Leaning forward, she set it on the coffee table and continued to wait. Whatever Jace had to say would either mark the end of their short relatio
nship or point the way to a possible future.
Tossing back a whiskey, Jace studied the empty glass. “I had a shit childhood, Ali.”
Grabbing the bottle of whiskey, he poured a half shot into the glass. Instead of swallowing it, he let the golden, caramel liquid coat the sides. He still hadn’t looked at her.
“My dad was a chief petty officer in the Navy. My mom was one of those stay-at-home women. No education beyond high school, skilled at cooking, cleaning, and running the house.” Setting the glass down, he rubbed a hand over his face. “Shit. This isn’t easy.” His gaze locked on hers.
Ali reached over, placing a reassuring hand on his arm. “Whatever you have to say, take your time. As long as you need.”
Without thought, he reached a hand behind her neck, drawing her close for a kiss before leaning away.
“We didn’t have much, but I never felt unloved. Mom did the best she could when Dad was deployed, even though she missed him something terrible.” He sucked in, then blew out a slow breath. “I was seven when the men came to tell her Dad had been killed in a shipboard accident.”
Ali gasped, placing a hand over her heart. “I’m so sorry, Jace.”
His eyes took on a glassy look, his mind going back in time. “She went ballistic. Screamed, cried, threw plates...destroyed whatever she could get her hands on. From that moment on, she was no longer my mom.”
Ali’s chest squeezed, her throat constricted. She had no idea what to say, how to comfort him.
“My dad’s parents wanted us to move from Cheyenne to live with them in Casper. Mom refused. I think she didn’t want them to know she’d starting drinking. A lot. After all his years of service, there wasn’t much money from the Navy. She used most of it on cheap booze.
“Grandpa and Grandma sent money to me without Mom knowing. I bought bread, milk, eggs. Paid what I could toward rent. By then, Mom had gotten into drugs. She, uh…began bringing men home.”
Ali wished she could wrap her arms around him, tell him to stop. She wanted to know about his past, but not at the cost the story was taking.
“They weren’t nice men, but they paid enough to keep up the rent and pay utilities. Some stayed a few days, others a few weeks. Most worked her over, but she didn’t resist. She was beyond caring about what happened to her…or me.”
Jace lifted his head, forcing himself to meet her gaze. “Then they began coming after me.”
Chapter Thirty-One
Ali’s heart slammed inside her chest, imagining grown men beating a young boy. “They hit you?”
Jace studied her, wishing it had been just that. “Not so much.”
Her brows drew together, before his meaning became clear. “Oh God.”
Hanging his head, he shredded fingers through his hair. He’d never revealed this to another soul, not even his grandparents. Jace never planned to expose himself to ridicule from friends or lovers. Certainly not any of the women he’d been with. Ali was different. She meant much more to him than anyone ever had.
“They were sick men, Ali. Forced me to do a lot of stuff I’ll never forget. I thought going into the Navy, becoming a SEAL, would help put the past behind me. In a lot of ways, it has. But there are days…” He shook his head, his voice fading.
Again, she leaned toward him, touching his arm. “You don’t have to say more, Jace.”
Watching her for long moments, he continued. “If we’re going to make a go of this, you need to know what you’re up against.”
Nodding once, Ali sat back, bracing herself. She had a wonderful upbringing. Loving parents, a strong community, the encouragement children needed to succeed. What had Jace gotten?
“I’d planned to escape to my grandparents’ for almost a year. Saved every penny I could, bought a backpack that would be ready to go when the time was right.” A wan smile curved the corners of his mouth. “Big enough to hold an old, neglected laptop the janitor at school gave me. It was a real piece of shit, but I fixed it up. Used it until I graduated from high school.”
Reaching across the distance, he took Ali’s hand, threading his fingers through hers. “When I was twelve, I couldn’t take it any longer. I’d purchased a bus ticket to Casper and waited. One morning, her current boyfriend, David, wanted to see me before he went to work. But I knew he didn’t just want to see me. He planned to see every inch of me, without my clothes.”
Ali shoved down the bile rising in her throat, refused to release the tears filling her eyes.
“I hid in my closet, wrapped my hand around the handle of a butcher knife, and waited.”
Gasping, Ali covered her mouth with both hands.
“When he opened the closet door, I didn’t hesitate. Before David knew what was happening, I sliced across one arm, then the other, grabbed my backpack, and ran. There was a bus heading north and ready to leave. I jumped on, showed them my ticket, and left my mom and her shitty life behind.”
Seeing the distress on Ali’s face, he grasped her hand again, squeezing. “I’m telling you all this because there are days it comes back as if it were yesterday. The anger, humiliation…all of it. There are times I need to be alone. I can be a real jackass when the rage tries to control me.” Scooting closer, he lifted her chin. “You deserve a helluva lot better than a man as broken as me, Ali.”
“What are you saying, Jace?”
Lips thinning, he breathed through his nose, calming the churning in his gut. He needed to get this out, know for certain if he and Ali had a future. She may kick him out, but at least he would’ve been honest with her.
“I love you, Ali. Have for a long time. I think we have a good chance of making a go of this. Have a family together.”
“A family?” This part was moving fast.
“That’s what often happens when you get married. I do want to marry you, Ali. But you have to understand what you’re getting into. Nightmares, shakes, anger. It’s all still a part of me. Most women wouldn’t want to take that on.”
Lunging forward, she held his face in her hands. “I’m not most women. I love you, Jace, and I’m sure as hell not letting another woman take my place.”
Ali watched out the window of Jace’s truck as the miles rolled by. They’d decided to drive from Liberty Lake to Casper. Before agreeing to marry, she’d asked to meet his grandparents, spend a few days where he grew up.
The weather had been perfect, their time together flying by. They’d made the decision to take three days to cover the almost thousand miles between the two towns. She’d eaten Rocky Mountain oysters, Colorado pizza, elk sausage with brown sugar and mustard glaze, and bison burgers. Seen beautiful country, and smiled more than she had in years.
“Almost there, babe.” Raider glanced over at her, an unexpected tug gripping his heart.
Her request to visit his grandparents had surprised him, warming him clear through. It had been too long since he’d visited the two people who’d saved him from a life destined to end too soon.
“There it is.” He pointed ahead to a white ranch house with deep green trim.
Grandma’s flower garden was still on the right of the drive, the barn, corrals, and round pen on the left. Farther down, the bunkhouse would be filled with ranch hands at this hour, cleaning up to head into town or relaxing with a book. Some things never changed.
Stopping in front of the house, he’d barely turned off the engine when his grandparents stepped outside. Each sported a brilliant smile as they walked down the steps toward the truck.
“Grandma.” Raider wrapped her in his arms, then did the same with his grandpa.
“We’re so happy to have you here.” His grandmother hugged him again before stepping back.
“It’s good to see you, son.” His grandfather watched a woman walk around the truck toward them. “And who is this lovely little thing, Jace?”
Placing his arm over her shoulders, Jace tugged her close. “Grandma, Grandpa, this is Ali Kasey, the woman I plan to marry.”
“Well, it’s abou
t time.” His grandmother walked right up to Ali, hugging her. “We’re so pleased to meet you.”
“It’s about time Jace grew up and settled down.”
Ali did her best to stifle a laugh at his grandfather’s comment. “It’s a pleasure to meet both of you. Jace has shared so many wonderful stories about growing up on the ranch. I’m hoping to hear more from the two of you.”
Jace’s grandfather stepped forward. “Well, young lady, you’ve come to the right place.”
The three days passed quickly. Ali could’ve stayed another week, and sensed Jace could, too.
The stories had gone on and on, making her laugh, swipe away tears, and turn red in embarrassment. Jace had been a real handful. Worked and played hard, the same as when he’d become a SEAL and joined Eternal Brethren.
“Had you ever seen him ride before coming here?” Jace’s grandmother asked.
Ali thought of the way he molded to the saddle, his body moving with the rhythm of the horse, relaxed and fluid. He made a magnificent picture.
“No. He’s very good.”
“That boy has a natural talent with horses. We run breeding stock and train horses. Jace has a real gift for both. This place will be his someday.”
Jace choked on his cup of coffee at his grandfather’s words, setting down the cup. “Mine?”
“Who else would I leave it to?”
Ali watched Jace. His features changed from shock to disbelief to resignation with a hint of satisfaction. She wondered if deep down, he wanted to move home, take over the ranching operations. Then she saw a lone tear form at the corner of his eye, and inwardly smiled.
“This would be a wonderful place to come after you leave the Navy, Jace.”
Surprise showed in his eyes, his jaw dropping open. “Would you be happy here, Ali?”
“I’d be happy anywhere with you, Jace.”
“Now, don’t think we’re giving up this place anytime soon. We’ve probably got a good twenty years left,” his grandfather said.
Beside him, his wife smiled, shaking her head. “Ten or fifteen at most.”
Exposed (Eternal Brethren Military Romantic Suspense Book 7) Page 21
