2:05am and I’m pacing the floor, wondering where the fuck they are. They come strolling in all smiles until they see me. “Where the fuck have you two been? Is she okay? Is she drunk? Are you drunk?” I’m fuming! Now I know how my parents felt.
“She’s home, along with Mia and they are tipsy but far from drunk,” Mac assures me, well he sounds completely sober another check.
“Why are you so late then?” I demand from Toxey.
“The girls, well, the girls wanted to go to a drag show. She was pretty persistent, and before you ask, I only had one drink. We took an Uber and left the bikes at her house. When we got them home and got back on the Harleys to head back here, we ended up taking a wrong exit,” Toxey explains.
“Okay guys, sorry. Thanks for taking care of her. No leads, so we are heading back to New Freedom in the morning. Seriously guys, sorry I wigged out. It’s just, she’s my kid sister, ya know? Thanks,” I tell them and head to my room. I turn an add, “She really made you guys go to a drag show?” I chuckle and shut my door, shaking my head.
Benelli
I get a call late that evening of the shower incident with Elle, that Colt and the prospects will head back in the morning. I’ve tried to avoid her all day. I tell myself it’s so she can catch up with her friend, but the reality is she’s got my head all twisted.
From the time I’ve met her she runs to me to save her, then flinches when I touch her, then excited to tell me about photography, then flinching when I touch her, then getting drunk and kissing me and wow what a kiss, then screaming at me and then getting catatonic when I accidentally get in the shower with her. I mean, I know what she went through was traumatic and she’s going to need time, but I have no clue what to do here. Michelle told me that Zen had been through some shit too and that Elle was there for her and that it’s Zen’s story to tell. She also told me that Zen has a degree in psychology or therapy or some shit, so maybe she can help her… or help me. I don’t know what to do and in frustration I pace and rake my fingers through my hair pulling at it. I pass by the window and see Zen outside on her cell. She hangs up and heads back towards the house. I try to catch her before she reaches Elle and make it to the door, but I’m too late. I pass Elle as she bounds down the stairs with her purse and keys in hand. She stops in her tracks and looks at me all guilty.
“Hey,” she whispers.
“Hey,” I say back, not knowing what else to say.
“Listen, I’m really sorry for, uh, freaking out yesterday,” she says.
“Seriously, it’s ok, I should have knocked first, I’m not used to company I guess,” I reply. “You two off somewhere?”
“Yeah, we’re going to the clubhouse, I told Sheila and some off the other ladies I’d show them how to make pasta from scratch,” she pauses, “guess what we’re having for lunch?” she says and gives me a slight grin.
“I’m going to go with pasta,” I tell her, chuckling. We look into each other’s eyes and it’s like I see a need in them but I’m afraid to say or do anything wrong and have her go back into her shell so I just stand there like an idiot. I’ve never been like this with a woman before. I’m always in dominant, alpha mode, I know what I want and I easily get it. I’m softer with her. Hell, if it was anyone else I would have had her in my bed by now, but she’s different and what she’s been through makes her even more so.
After what seems like several minutes of just staring at each other, but it’s probably less than one, she says, “Um, well, okay, I’ll see you at lunch then?”
“It’s a promise,” I softly tell her and she heads out the door to her car, meeting her friend there. They get in and take off down the hill.
“Arrrrghh!” I growl loudly, grabbing at my hair again. What the hell is it with this girl? What has she done to me?
Later that morning I show up to the club and notice Zen in the garage sitting on a bike with Phoenix adjusting something under her. Now’s my chance. “Hey guys, what’s up?” I ask.
“I’m helping Phoenix adjust the shocks? Bumper?” she looks at Phoenix is question.
“Shocks and sag,” he smiles up at her and says. “That way when you go riding with me it’ll be more comfortable,” he winks at her.
Ok, that’s something new, I think to myself. Phoenix actually likes someone, hmmmm. He’s never dated anyone that I know of. He always stuck strictly to the club girls or maybe one of the strippers or bartenders at Fisherman’s Pole, the strip club we own. He’s the quietest man in the club. You couldn’t find someone more loyal, but if you’re wanting someone talkative, he is not the one you go to. Something happened to him before he came here, and he’s never talked to anyone about it that I know of. Hell, it could have been from childhood, but I figure he’ll talk when he’s ready.
“Hey Zen, if he’s about done with you, can I steal you away before lunch?” I ask.
“Sure, we good?” she looks down at Phoenix and when he nods, he’s good she slowly gets off the bike. As we are walking away from the garage out of earshot she links arms with me and says, “Everything you’ve always wanted to know about Elle and how to win her heart, right?”
“Is it that obvious?” I ask.
“Only to a professional,” she replies and winks. Just then we hear two loud crashes in the garage and swing around to see Phoenix hopping around on one foot and he’s holding his fist cussing like a sailor.
“What the…” I say and start to head back, but Zen merely pats me on the chest and smiles some kind of chick knowing look and leads us to continue forward. We stop and grab a couple drinks from Breezy at the bar who kind of scowls at Zen but it doesn’t even phase her and we head back outside for a walk down by a little fishing pond we have back behind everything. There’s an old gazebo out there that Reaper, Uncle Win, dad and Brick built like 20 some odd years ago. Reaper just had to have it built. I never knew why because no one ever used it for anything special that I can remember. Oh well, we sit down in the gazebo and stare at the pond and I start. “I don’t know what to do,” I tell her. “I have feelings for her, I want to be there for her, but every time I get close, she pulls back.”
“She’s going to be that way for a while, I’m afraid, it’s just how it is, but if you REALLY want to be there for her, you’ll find a way and wait,” she tells me. “Just keep being there for her, okay? Right now all men scare her, and it has nothing to do with you and I know that’s killing you,” and before I can protest, she places her hand on top of mine that’s sitting on my leg, “she trusts you as much as she can right now, I see it. She’ll get there.”
“What can I do? Can you tell me about her, you know, from a best friend perspective?” I ask slowly.
Zen smiles up at me, “Elle is amazing! She’s bold and bright, like a star. She’s the type of person who would give you the shirt off of her back, really. One time we went swimming at this place called Slide Rock, it’s like a water slide with naturally grooved, smoothed rock out in the water. We had our clothes laid on some rocks and while I was changing some boys ran off with all my clothes, my swim suit I just took off and some of hers too. All we had left was one bikini bottom, one shirt and a bandana she had on her wrist. She gave me the long T-shirt, she wore the bottoms and tied the bandana around her as a top.”
“She roots for the underdog and she hates bullies. She’s also a born leader. She was class president and her platform was anti-bullying and of course changing up the menu in the cafeteria,” she says laughing and goes on to say how she loves to cook with her mom, how amazing it was and how they would host meals on Sundays.
“She loves photography, as I know she’s told you, and she wants to open her own shop up some day, called Picture This Moment by Elle. Between you and me, her dream is to see her photos in a gallery showing. She easily could ya know, she’s just that good,” she tells me dreamily, which shows me just how close they truly are.
“She loves music, all kinds, and she’s a brilliant singer. Karaoke, she’s all in. Me? I could
n’t carry a tune if I had a basket to put it in,” she laughs and I join her, telling her I’m the same.
This is giving me a few ideas. I love hearing about Elle. She sounds exactly like the kind of woman I’m looking for in a wife. Wait, what the fuck am I thinking? We’ve only had one kiss and I really doubt she remembers it.
“I know you care for her and I’m so glad that you do, you’re good for her,” Zen states when she notices my face.
“Do you read minds on top of everything else?” I ask her. She gives a suspicious grin and shrugs, maybe.
We continue talking and finish off our beers. I tell her thanks, and we walk back to the clubhouse because I’m sure Elle will be looking for us soon for lunch. I really hope both Elle and Zen decide to stick around the area. I’ve convinced Elle she should recover here with me and that it’s safer, but I don’t want her to leave after that. They both fit in great with the other members of the club and are liked by all, well, all except maybe Breezy and I’m sure that it’s just her getting a little less cock than she used to, she still has plenty of men to choose from.
We head in to meet Elle and eat lunch. She is one hell of a cook and the ladies apparently kicked ass at the fresh pasta lesson. Over lunch we agree that today is as good as any to start her self-defense lessons. After they clean everything up, I follow her in her car back to the house. Zen said she would get a ride from Phoenix later. We get back to the house to change and I head downstairs to the gym to get ready for her lesson. She comes down the stairs and DAMN she is fucking hot in her black leggings and sports bra with a loose fitting, cropped pink T-shirt hanging off one shoulder, she’s curvy in all the right places and I love every inch of it. She seems to be in a really good mood today. I walk over to the stereo system and ask,” do you want to hear some music while we workout?”
“Yeah, that would be great!” she replies enthusiastically as she bounces over to where I am. “May I?”
I step back and let her at it. The next thing I know I hear Slipknot-Nero Forte blaring through the speakers and I just look at her in shock, she laughs and shrugs her shoulders, “What can I say, I like a little bit of everything when it comes to music.”
“Whatever you want, doll, it’s your workout,” I reply and we go to the mat. “Now, you know with learning these moves, I’m going to have to touch you and pretend to attack you. Just remember, I’m not really going to hurt you, I’m here to teach you to protect yourself, you’re safe with me, OK?”
“Okay,” she tells me and takes a deep breath, releases it with a sigh and nods her head she’s ready. At first, she freezes and tenses, but then she remembers it’s me and focuses on the moves she needs to make. We continue and concentrate on one take down at a time till she has it mastered. We started with just two different things today, working on each till they were perfect and then we did some core exercises and finally the punching bag. When she rolls her head and neck, I know she’s done for the day.
“Sore?” I ask.
“Yeah, I know it’s because I kept tensing up when you were attacking me,” she says as she tries to rub the muscles out, “I am doing better though, I think.”
I have her sit on a bench and ask, “May I?” and she’s not sure and pauses, but then she says yes. I sit behind her and move her hair over to the side and at that point she shuts down. “Elle, it’s me. It’s just me,” I say as I move around to face her. “Look at me Elle, come on babe, look at me.” She opens her eyes and looks into mine, tears falling down her cheeks. “He did that, didn’t he? Moved your hair away from behind?” I feel like an ass when she nods yes. I take a deep breath and tell her, “Ok, let’s try this from the front,” and I ever so slowly reach my hands up to her neck and shoulders to massage them from the front. She keeps her eyes focused on me and allows me to keep going. Okay, progress, yes!
“Okay Elle, here’s what we are going to do, I’m going to let you be in control of this. I like you, but I’m not going to touch you unless you want me to and tell me to, alright?” She nods without saying a word. “I can tell how tight your muscles are that you’re probably going to need a massage after each workout, so you don’t start to get tension headaches. Plus, I think that touching and getting used to be touched should also be part of your healing process. Do you agree?” again she nods without saying a word. “Elle, I need you to talk to me.”
“You’re right, I know that you are, but it’s really scary for me and I don’t want you to get frustrated and ditch me when I’m too much to handle,” she tells me. “I, I like you too but I’m just not, I just can’t yet, is that ok?”
“Babe, of course it’s okay. We’ll take this, the training and everything, and this” I take her hand and put it to her heart then mine, “as slow as you need, I promise, I’m not going to run.”
CHAPTER TEN
Benelli
It’s been about a month of working out and she has good days and bad days, but I do see improvement. Not as fast as I want it, but I did promise I’d stick it out with her. She’s really starting to kick ass at the take downs and me grabbing her when it comes to self-defense. I don’t know if she loses herself in the music or she is feeling more powerful or both, but she is getting more self-confidence. She hasn’t attempted to kiss me or touch me other than that, though. Outside of the gym there is nothing physical, and I told her that it was in her hands and I meant it. As much as I want to touch her face, to kiss her, to wrap my arms around her and make love to her, I haven’t made any attempts. I’m waiting on her and it’s driving me crazy. How can she make so much progress in the self-defense and it not spill over to her and I is a question that I don’t have an answer for but I so wish I did?
I spend my time running the club, checking on our businesses and leading the men every day so I’m not tempted to grab her and kiss her. I know when she opens up and let me in I’m going to have to be gentle, to let her know that sex isn’t what those assholes have put in her head. Don’t get me wrong, I know she’s not a virgin, but since this, I’m going to have to treat her like it’s her first time and there is no way I’m going to make this first time with her anything more than perfect.
Our normal routine, she gets up before I do most days and makes breakfast, has a cup of coffee ready for me when I get out of the shower and head downstairs. She’s already let Luna out who has decided to be a traitor and sleeps with her snuggled up every night. Oh, how I wish I were that dog. I know it’s wrong, but I took the spark plug out of her car so that she has to ride the bike wrapped around me to and from the club. Yes, I’m an asshole, I’ll admit it.
She spends Tuesdays and Thursdays cooking with the ladies, helping them shop for the club, hanging out with Zen or whatever else that comes up. She has one hour each of those days set up for “real talk” as she calls it where Zen gets to actually use her degree on her and she can’t complain about it, that’s what Zen tells her, anyway. Monday she works on her landscape and nature portfolio, taking pictures. Wednesday’s and Friday’s she is usually booked with photo shoots, which is pretty impressive since she hasn’t been here that long. The weekends she spends several hours editing and having them sent off to get prints.
She doesn’t know it but while we are at the club I’ve had Brick, our construction expert, fixing her up a studio with her own darkroom, areas for shoots, an area to show the pictures to customers and whatever else she needs (thanks to dad calling Michelle and asking what it is she needs for a studio)and I’m going to surprise her with it for her birthday coming up September 3rd. I know she’s going to say it’s too much because that’s just how she is, but honestly, the club already owned the shop and wasn’t doing anything with it so I had a meeting and they agreed I could buy it from the club and they wouldn’t take much for it. I tried to fight them on that and offered what it’s worth, but they wouldn’t have it since it wasn’t making us money, anyway.
Zen is helping me with the party and Michelle is coming to town for that weekend, Elle doesn’t know yet. D
ad seems happier lately knowing that she’ll be here, but denies it when I give him hell on it. Zen has Phoenix in charge of setting up the music and making sure Elle has karaoke also that night. We went out for karaoke for Zen’s birthday, June 30th, shortly after she got here, but Elle wouldn’t get up and sing that night. I hear her sometimes in the shower and can’t wait to hear her for real. Aunt Sheila and the other ladies are in charge of the buffet. There’s a big rodeo that day in Sikeston, and I’ve talked Elle into going and taking pictures so that she doesn’t suspect anything.
Today is a Thursday and I’m waiting around doing the books and getting payroll done for the checks in the morning while Elle to having with her “real talk” with Zen. I’ve decided to take her out to eat at a new restaurant the club just purchased instead of our normal self-defense. I told her we could skip tonight and do it tomorrow.
Elle
“So, tell me how things are going, how’s the self-defense?” Zen asks me.
“I think I’m doing great. I don’t flinch anymore when he grabs me and I even flipped him the other day,” I tell her.
“That’s fantastic! I’m so proud of you,” she tells me, “how’s the personal stuff going?”
“We get along great, he’s patient and caring, I love spending time with him,” then I pause.
“But you haven’t touched him in a physical attraction way,” she says, and I lower my head and shake no. “So, what do you think is making you not do that?”
“I don’t know, I want to touch him, I do. I want him to touch me and kiss me, I’m just scared to make the move,” I tell her, trying to explain.
“Before the attack,” I cringe as she says the words, “I know you had no problems making the first move, you were strong Elle, you were fierce, you had control of your life and your body and you did what you wanted and never let anyone take that control away from you, where is that Elle?”
Benelli's Elle: Unfortunate Souls MC Book One Page 9
