by Tabatha Kiss
I follow the path of his pointer, going quiet. The sun drops behind the snow-topped mountains, leaving the sky on fire with red and orange colors swirling amid purple stripes.
“Wow,” I whisper.
Oliver steps behind me and wraps his arms around my waist. We watch in silent wonder; the moment coming and going far too quickly. My heart races, utterly blissful at the thought that I get to experience this with him.
“See?” Oliver whispers in my ear. “I told you I’d be insufferable.”
I laugh. “It’s gorgeous.”
“Much better up close,” he says. “If you’re ever interested.”
I don’t dare turn my head and miss a moment of that orange sun falling away. When it finally vanishes, I spin around in Oliver’s arms and rest my hands on his shoulders.
“Sure,” I say.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, we can take a weekend and go somewhere mountain-esque with... heat and running water.”
Oliver laughs. “Good enough for me.”
He kisses me, sending a rush of heat through my body to combat the icy chill in the air.
“Come on,” he says as he rubs my arms to warm them up. “Let’s get you inside.”
I clench the lapel of his jacket, refusing to let this moment end. I pull him back to me, locking our lips with an even deeper, warmer kiss.
Oliver chuckles. “Oh, I got some points for this one, didn’t I?”
“Uh-huh,” I say with a grin.
“You like me a lot right now, don’t you?”
“Uh-huh.”
“You’re going to kiss me again, aren’t you?”
I don’t answer. I just kiss him.
Chapter 39
Oliver
“So, we forgot to eat dinner.”
I laugh, warm and snug in Paige’s bed with her naked body resting on my chest. “Eh, who needs food anyway?” I joke. “I have all I need right here.”
Paige chuckles, locked in my embrace. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but me.” We laugh. “I need food.”
I kiss her brow, still sweet with sweat, as I lift my head to see the clock. “It’s not even ten yet,” I note. “Kitchen should still serve dinner.”
“Excellent.” She tries to get up, but I pull her back in. “Oliver,” she says with a laugh.
“Just a few more minutes.”
A few more days, even.
I’m not ready for tomorrow yet. Tomorrow, we fly back home to Las Vegas, where it’ll be even more difficult to hide what we have. We must face the reality of our job titles and responsibilities. There’s a possibility of all of this exploding in our faces, but not in here. Not in this room.
In here, we’re perfect.
Paige rests back down without argument. She glides a finger between my pecs, along my abs. “Thump, thump,” she whispers in sync with my heartbeat. “Thump, thump.”
I smile. “It hasn’t stopped racing since I saw you in that dress.”
She chuckles. “You like that, huh?”
I hum. “Mm-hmm.”
“I’ll have to wear it more often, then.”
“Please do.”
“Though, I wonder if dressing up is worth the effort considering you ravage and undress me within sixty seconds of seeing it, anyway.”
“Oh, it’s worth it,” I say, drawing a line up her arm. “It’s very, very worth it.”
Paige looks up at me with a cheerful smile. I caress her cheek, inviting her to come closer. She shifts upward and kisses me, light and soft. I try to curl my arms around her again, but she wiggles free.
“No, no,” she says. “Time’s up, big guy.”
I drop my arms in disappointment. “Fine,” I say, smiling.
She stands up out of bed. “I’m going to use the bathroom and then I’m going to order a bunch of room service and eat myself into a coma.”
I lie back, resting on my hands, as she wraps up in a robe and disappears behind the bathroom door. I close my eyes and take several deep breaths, but my heart never stops pounding. I’m just so...
Happy.
For the first time in my life, things are magically falling into place.
A phone rings. I look toward the bedside table. It’s not the room phone, but a cellphone.
Paige’s cellphone.
“Hey, Paige,” I say, but she can’t hear me over the sound of water running in the sink.
This late in the evening, it might be important.
I slide across the bed, hoping to grab it before they hang up.
“Hello. You’ve got Paige’s phone,” I answer it.
“Oh,” a woman says. “Hello.”
“Hi.”
“Who’s this?”
“I’m Oliver. Paige’s employer. Who’s this?”
“This is Maureen from Lowell Assisted Living in Las Vegas, Nevada. I’m calling because we have an emergency here involving a patient. Is Ms. Landon available?”
I blink at her serious tone. “Yes, she is,” I say. “Please hold for one moment.”
I haphazardly wrap the bedsheet around me as I stand. Before I make it to the bathroom door, it opens up and Paige steps out. Her eyes instantly fall to her phone in my hand and she bristles with annoyance.
“It’s Maureen,” I say before she can say anything. “She says there’s been an emergency.”
Paige’s face turns white. She snatches the phone from my hand and slams the bathroom door in my face.
Okay.
I probably shouldn’t have answered that.
Chapter 40
Oliver
I get dressed as I wait.
Nearly twenty minutes go by with nothing more than a light murmur from behind the bathroom door. Meanwhile, guilt churns in my gut. Guilt for answering her phone when I knew damn well I wasn’t supposed to, but also for looking up exactly what Lowell Assisted Living was.
It’s mostly what it sounds like. An assisted care home for the elderly or disabled, but with a specialty in dealing with patients of acute trauma. The website didn’t go into much more detail than that, other than to call for inquiries.
Paige knows a patient there. Her mother, maybe? I realize I know little about her family other than what she’s said about her father leaving them. I suppose I pictured what I always picture everyone else’s family to be. Loving mothers and devoted children. Not fucked up and broken like mine was.
It pains me to picture Paige’s life as anything other than perfect. She deserves perfection.
The bathroom door opens. I set my cellphone down and stand up as Paige slowly steps out, her eyes sunken and tired. She looks like she wants to say something, but nothing comes out.
“I’m sorry,” I say first. “I shouldn’t have—”
“It’s okay,” she says.
“No, I violated your don’t answer your phone rule. I’m sorry.”
She nods, swallowing hard.
“Is everything okay?” I ask.
Paige walks toward the bedside table and drops her phone onto it. “Yeah,” she answers. “Oliver, I think I need to... cut this night short a bit.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. I have... some things I need to...”
She doesn’t say more. I wish she would, though.
“Is it anything I can help with?” I ask, not wanting to leave.
“No.”
“Paige, you know that you can tell me anything,” I say. “I mean, I’ve told you more about myself than I’ve ever told anyone, and I felt a lot better afterward. I’m here for you. You know that.”
Paige exhales hard. She sits down on the edge of the bed with her heavy eyes on the floor. I stay standing, prepared to leave. Or prepared to hold her. Whatever she needs.
“It’s my mom,” she finally says. “She had another one of her episodes tonight.”
“Are those why she’s...”
She raises her head. “At Lowell?” she finishes, looking at me with glistening eyes.
I nod.
“Maureen mentioned it.”
“Yeah. Sort of,” she says. “She’s also in a wheelchair. She can’t feel anything from the waist down and she only has partial motion in her left arm.”
My chest clenches. “I’m sorry.”
“Car accident. No one else was hurt, but she…” She looks down again. “Since then, she gets a little confused, sometimes. Isn’t fully sure of where she is, or... who she is. My voice helps her stay calm, so...” She clears her throat. “I always answer when she calls.”
“That’s really sweet,” I say. “That you do that for her, I mean.”
“Yeah, it’s...” Her lip trembles. “It’s the least I can do. It’s my fault she’s even...”
A tear tumbles down her cheek and she goes quiet again.
I kneel on the floor in front of her. “What?” I ask.
She shakes her head, freeing another tear. “Nothing,” she says, her voice breaking.
I place my hands on her knees, a silent urge for her to tell me more. To let me in. To trust me.
After a moment, she looks up at me with dark, heartbreaking eyes. “She’s in a care facility because I’m not home enough to take care of her,” she says slowly. “And I’m not home enough to take care of her... because I don’t want to take care of her.”
“Paige, you don’t have to feel guilty about that,” I say. “Your mom probably needs help twenty-four hours a day. No one could ever expect one person to do all of that. Especially if they aren’t trained to perform that kind of care.”
“No, I...” She sniffs. “I don’t feel guilty about that. I’ve given her... everything. The best home with the best doctors and the best nurses. I live in a studio apartment in a questionable neighborhood just so I can afford to give her the best life possible... because it’s my fault she’s there. I look at her... and I feel so horrible.”
She fights a sob. I squeeze her knee, not sure if I should say anything.
Paige wipes her eyes. “She never got over my dad leaving,” she says. “But she never blamed me for it. Mostly just took it out on her liver. Almost all of my memories of us together involve her with a drink in her hand.” She shakes her head. “Eventually, I was just... done. I couldn’t stand to pick up after her anymore, or drive her home when she’d had too much. I got a job that took me... anywhere but where she was.” She pauses, her lips trembling. “Then, one night about four years ago, she called me for a ride home... and I didn’t answer.”
“Four years ago?” I say, my gut clenching.
She nods with fresh tears staining her face. “She called me, but I didn’t answer... because I was with someone.”
“Because you were with me.”
Paige collapses her head again, unable to look me in the eye. “I’m sorry,” she says.
I pause. “For what?”
“After that night, I couldn’t look at you,” she whispers. “I wanted to, but... I didn’t think I deserved... you. Or anybody else.”
“It’s all right,” I say as I brush the tears off her cheeks.
“After what I did to her,” she says through sobs. “I tried to forget that night and everything—”
I wrap my arms around her. “It’s all right,” I say again.
“Then, this trip happened, and you were just so...”
“Shh.” I hold her closer. “It’s all right.”
She smothers her face in my shoulder as she sobs, each violent shake a stab to my gut.
She’s carried this for four years. After all this time, I thought there was something I’d done wrong, but it was this. I almost wish I had done her wrong. Then she would have had a reason to answer. A reason to leave and change the course of history. I wish I’d known back then. I wish someone would have told me then what happened that night. Then, she wouldn’t have had to go through it alone.
From now on, she won’t.
“Nothing that happened that night was your fault, Paige,” I say, holding her tighter. “Your mother chose to drive.”
Paige pulls away. “No, she wouldn’t have chosen that if I had just answered the phone. She did the right thing. She called me for help, but I was too busy getting laid.”
“You can’t see it that way.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’ll tear you apart,” I say. “Believe me.”
I cup her face, drawing her eyes up again. She fights it at first, then she looks at me with sadness and dread, as if her confession will leave me running away and leaving her.
But I’m not going anywhere.
“Paige, you are incredible,” I say. “You take care of everyone. Who takes care of you?”
“I don’t need anyone to take care of me,” she says.
“Yes, you do.”
I lean closer, close enough to brush our lips together.
“Oliver, don’t,” she whispers, but she doesn’t move.
I kiss her. I taste the salt on her lips. I feel the pain in her tears. I’d give anything to make it all go away.
I join her on the bed. I lie down, taking her with me, never letting her stray too far out of my arms. She rests her head on my chest, tears staining my shirt. But I couldn’t care less about that. I hold her through every vicious sob and crack of her voice. I hold her until she’s too tired to cry anymore and falls asleep.
I hold her until morning.
Then, I get to work.
Chapter 41
Paige
I wake up with my cellphone alarm. 5 AM. Time to run.
I drop the phone back onto the bedside table. I’m wide awake, naturally. 5 AM is my usual rousing time, but this morning feels... heavy. Different.
I roll over, silently slinking back beneath Oliver’s limp arm. He stirs slightly. His arm curls around me, but he doesn’t wake up. I cling to him, to his clothes still on from last night. I replay the previous night repeatedly in my head, each brittle moment seared into the back of my eyelids. One moment, I feel weak and stupid. The next, I’m relieved and loved.
I drift back to sleep.
When I awaken again, Oliver is gone.
I sit up, drawn to noises across the suite. Oliver adjusts his appearance in front of the bathroom mirror. His shirt is wrinkled in a few spots. His pants, too. At least he didn’t sleep in his jacket.
He flicks the light off and turns in my direction, but it takes a moment or two for him to realize I’ve been watching him.
Then he smiles. Warm and sweet. “Hey,” he greets.
“Hi.” I clear my dry throat. “Good morning.”
“Good morning. It’s almost eight.”
“Yeah, I...” I glance at the bright green letters on the bedside clock. “I didn’t feel like going for a run this morning.”
“One morning off won’t hurt,” he says. “In fact, go on and sleep a bit longer. I can finish up downstairs myself.”
I pivot to place my feet on the floor. “No, I’ll get up.”
Oliver sits down on the bed beside me.
I look at him, offering a weak smile. “Oli, I’m sorry about last night...”
He takes my hand. “Don’t be.”
“I shouldn’t have unloaded on you like that. My problems are my problems.”
Oliver shifts to face me, his expression more amused than annoyed. “Paige...”
“Yeah?”
“Shut up.” He kisses the back of my hand. “Now, you can rest more if you want. If not, meet me in the lobby and we’ll close out Denver together.”
I nod, grateful. “Okay.”
Oliver smiles, his fingers entwining with mine. “Let’s go red today,” he says.
“But you like blue.”
“And you like red. Plus, it looks incredible on you.” He leans forward to kiss my forehead before standing, but he keeps a firm hold on my hand. “I’ll see you downstairs.”
“Be down soon.” I glide my thumb along his fingers. “Thank you, Oli,” I whisper.
Oliver gives me a delicate kiss and smiles as he pushes a few u
nruly strands of my hair behind my ear. His hand falls away, but a few sparks remain in my fingers as he rises and walks toward the door.
“Big day ahead!” he says with a smile. “Our flight home leaves at two!”
I grin as the door closes behind him.
Home. For the first time in so long, I don’t immediately dread the thought. Something about it feels different this time. This time, I’m not just going back to a place full of memories I’d rather forget.
I’m going back to a place with a future that I don’t want to miss.
Chapter 42
Paige
“Other than that...” I flip the last page of my portfolio and skim. “I think that’s it,” I say. “First quarter 2022 audits of every Botsford Plaza Hotel are now complete.”
Graham nods from the chair behind his desk. While the remaining twenty-nine stories below us are for guests, the 30th floor of Botsford Plaza Vegas is home to the CEO’s offices and a couple of boardrooms where all the company magic happens. The wall of windows beside us displays a remarkable view of the Las Vegas skyline from thirty stories high. Or it would be remarkable if it weren’t monsoon season. Rain pours down from the sky, making it difficult to even see The Strip from up here.
Home sweet home.
“I’m always relieved to hear you say that,” Graham says, wincing with dread. “Then, quarter two begins.”
I chuckle. “We’ll worry about those when we get there. Or Oliver will this time, I guess.”
He smiles. “Music to my ears.”
His phone vibrates on the table, and he reaches for it. The sudden silence between us echoes, highlighting the racing thump of my heart pounding against my ribs.
Graham, Oliver and I...
So, four years ago...
God, how do I do this?
I tell myself that Graham will understand. These things... happen. Feelings just sort of... spring up when you aren’t expecting them to. I’m here to fess up and take full responsibility for it... as soon as I can get the words out.
