by Ash, Nikki
“Bella...”
“No, Tristan. You are one of the most selfless people I know. You have been my best friend for as far back as I can remember. You have always put me first, but I’m not going to let you do this. You deserve to be happy, to find love, to have a damn life. I never should have put you in this position. I’m so sorry.”
Tristan’s head drops and he sighs just as Marco clears his throat. Shit! I am such an idiot! I completely forgot about the guy sitting in the chair next to me, sleeping. I have no idea how much he heard until he says, “You’re moving to Las Vegas.” It’s not a question; he heard me.
“Which is for the best,” Tristan adds. Marco stands and I’m scared they’re going to get into it again. Marco’s jaw and lip are already puffy from being hit by Tristan and my dad yesterday.
“Deciding what’s best is between Bella and me.”
“Marco,” I chide. “Don’t act like that.” I give him a warning glare and his eyes soften.
“Are you serious right now? I’m pretty sure you lost the right to decide what’s best for either of them the day you told her she was dead to you.”
“Tristan, that’s not fair,” I say. I’m stuck in the middle of these two guys battling over me and my daughter and I can’t help but feel guilty. We were all friends and our friendships have been destroyed.
“I’ll give you that,” Marco says calmly. “I know I said some fucked up shit that I can’t take back, but I’m working on making it right, which starts and ends with being the man Bella and our daughter deserve. Here’s the thing, I respect the hell out of you for being protective of and caring for Bella and my daughter, and if you two were in love and wanted to be together, I would suck it up and be happy for you two.”
I’m shocked by Marco’s admission and maybe even a little hurt that he would be okay with Tristan and me being together. I know Marco doesn’t see me the way I see him, but still…
He continues. “I would live with it. I would co-parent the best I can with you, man. But you two aren’t together. You said it yourself. So, I don’t want to sound like an asshole but Micaela is my daughter and I’m here, and Bella choosing to put my name on her birth certificate gives me the right to make decisions with her.”
Tristan’s eyes shoot to mine in disbelief and maybe even a little bit of disappointment. Then Marco says, “Look at the bright side. Now you and Gina can be together.” Tristan’s look turns to confusion.
“What the fuck does Gina have to do with this?”
“She’s the one who told me about the baby, that she’s mine.”
“What did you just say?” Tristan asks slowly.
“She came to me three months ago and said I was the father. She showed me a letter Bella wrote to Micaela and it stated I was the dad. Gina said she knew you didn’t cheat on her and she asked me to take responsibility so you two could be together again. Something about you being hers.”
Tristan turns to me. “You wrote the baby a letter letting her know who her father was? You were going to let me raise her with every intention of telling her one day Marco was her dad?”
Oh shit. “No, that letter was in case I died. I read moms should write their babies letters, so I wrote one in case I died and Micaela wanted to know the truth. I never planned to just give it to her.”
“This is un-fucking-believable. So, you knew you were the dad three months ago, yet you waited until she was born to make it known.”
“No, man, I didn’t want to go to Bella while I was on drugs. I called my dad and checked into rehab. I knew I needed to be clean when I went to her. She wasn’t due for another few weeks. I thought I had time. I didn’t know she would give birth early.”
“Holy shit.” Tristan laughs humorlessly. “I can’t even deal with all this. Bella, if you choose to stay in the apartment, you know I won’t kick you out. Just let me know. If you’re leaving, I need to look for another roommate.”
Tristan walks toward Micaela and I hold my breath. “Goodbye, pretty girl.” He brings two fingers to his lips and presses them to her forehead. Then he comes to the side of the bed and gives me a chaste kiss on my forehead. “I need some time, Bella.” His words sound a lot like goodbye.
“Please tell me I’m not losing you, Tristan.”
“Right now, I can’t tell you anything.”
Hot tears prick my eyes as I nod my understanding. “Okay.”
“Let me call you,” he says. The tears release and fly down my cheeks as my best friend walks out the door and out of my life.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Marco
Tristan leaves, slamming the door behind him, and the sound reverberates through the walls waking Micaela. Bella quickly wipes her eyes and stands to grab our crying baby.
“Wait, let me grab her for you,” I say as the data specialist walks in. It’s like this hospital room has a revolving door.
“No, it’s okay. I need to walk around. I appreciate you helping me but you’re making me lazy.” She gives me a small smile to try to hide the fact that she’s heartbroken her best friend just walked out the door—literally and figuratively—and I can’t help feeling like it’s partially my fault.
“Good morning! I’m here to pick up the forms so we can update the chart,” the woman says.
“Yes, I have them here for you.” I hand her the packet of papers and she smiles, thanking us before leaves.
As Bella sits on the couch feeding Micaela, I watch her stare out the window for a long time before I ask, “Do you want to talk about it?”
She turns to me and gives me another one of those fake smiles I hate. “No, I deserved it. I should have been honest with everyone from the beginning. I know Tristan needing space is for the best, but it feels like a piece of me just walked out that door with him.”
“He’s just upset right now and needs time.”
“I know,” she agrees absentmindedly, focusing on Micaela.
“You did what you felt was best given the circumstances. What I did, what I said, I put you in that position.”
“But I chose how to handle it. I’m not some kid anymore. I’m a mother and I need to make better choices. Lying and keeping stuff from my family, from Tristan, is not okay.”
We sit in silence for a while, and then I remember what she said to Tristan.
“So… Las Vegas?”
Bella’s eyes go wide. “I just think it’s for the best. Like I told Tristan, I want to finish school and I still have a few semesters left.”
“What are you majoring in?”
“It was a tough decision because as you know I just want to fight.”
“And become a UFC champion,” I add.
“Yeah.” Her lips curl into a real smile. “But since I had to pick a major, I ended up going with business management. I know I can’t fight forever, and with the women’s division being so small, I wanted to get a degree in something that will give me an opportunity to provide for Micaela.”
“That makes sense. What are you planning to do with your degree?”
“I talked to my dad and he said he’s planning to step back from the gym sooner rather than later, spend some time with Nathan and Lilly since neither of them are into the gym, and spend more time with my mom.”
“Okay…”
“He said while I’m training, he would show me the ropes for me to take over the gym. Since the first time I stepped foot in that gym, it’s felt like my home away from home, you know.”
“I know exactly what you mean.”
“I was thinking I could move back and start learning, and with my degree in business management, I’m hoping it will provide me with ways to successfully run the gym.”
“I get that, I do. But what I don’t get is why you asked me if I’m going to be in our daughter’s life and to what extent if you were just planning on moving to another state with her.”
Bella burps Micaela and walks her to the changing table to change her diaper. With her back turned to me, she say
s, “I never said you couldn’t be in her life. I just feel like this is the best option for my daughter and me.”
She turns back around and I can see the tears filling her lids as she holds our daughter to her chest, using her as a protective shield. “I can’t live with Tristan. I mean, I could. I know he would let me since it’s my apartment just as much as it’s his, but I need to give him his space. I hurt him so badly. My parents are in Vegas, and so is my aunt Kayla and my brother and sister. Sure, I’ve made some friends here, but I can’t ask them to watch Micaela. I’m taking off the rest of this semester, but I’m hoping to at least take a couple classes online this summer and go back next fall full time. You know you can visit anytime.”
“Visit?” I laugh incredulously. “You don’t really think I’m going to let you and our daughter move to another state and I’ll just simply visit? If you’re moving back to Vegas then I guess I am as well.” I shrug.
“What?” She gasps and places Micaela back in her bassinet. That little girl drinks and then passes out into a drunken milk stupor.
“Marco, your entire life is here in California.”
That’s where she’s wrong, so damn wrong. I get off the couch and close the space between us, pushing a wayward hair that’s escaped from her pony tail behind her ear. “No, Bella, my entire life is apparently moving to Las Vegas.”
Bella looks at me dumbfounded, but before she can open her mouth, she looks over her shoulder, her eyes widening. She takes a step back from me.
“What are you doing here?” the deep voice booms. Knowing who’s voice it is before I even turn around, I take a deep breath preparing for the fight that is going to take place.
“Dad, calm down.” Bella walks up to her dad and gives him a hug. “Marco helped me with Micaela last night.”
“I told you we could have stayed.” Cooper glares at me like I’m the devil, and I don’t blame him. While on drugs, I knocked up his little girl.
“It’s fine. The registrar says if all goes well I will be released today. You guys needed your sleep.”
“And you’re moving back with us. Did you ask how soon Micaela can be cleared to fly? Are you staying at your apartment until then?” Cooper speaks like I’m not even in the room, and I know I need to earn back his respect, so I refrain from arguing with him.
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Bella says softly, suddenly unsure of herself.
“Yes, you do,” I speak up. “We’re moving to Las Vegas.”
“What the fuck do you mean ‘We’re’?” Cooper steps into my personal space.
“Marco, you can’t do that. You can’t just up and move. And I told you, you can visit her any time,” Bella insists.
“Where Bella and Micaela go, I go. It’s that simple,” I say calmly to her dad. Then I turn to Bella and say, “I have absolutely nothing keeping me here. I have a condo I haven’t lived in in over three months, which I can cancel the lease on. We can find a three-bedroom place near your parents, near the gym. I know I don’t have the right to ask anything of you, but I am asking you anyway for this chance. I don’t want to see my daughter on weekends or holidays. Give me a chance. Give us a chance. Please.”
“Wait a fucking second. You can’t be considering this, Bella. You can’t even trust this guy.” He turns to me. “You aren’t welcome anywhere near my daughter or granddaughter.”
Liz, thankfully jumps in. “Liam Cooper.” Oh shit! She used his first name. “You missed out on four years of raising our daughter and you say all the time it’s your biggest regret, and you’re going to try to stop another man from taking responsibility. What is wrong with you?”
Cooper sucks in his lip, trying to keep his mouth shut, not wanting to upset his wife further, while Bella comes closer to me. “Giving you a chance as a father and giving us a chance are two completely separate conversations. They can't go hand in hand. We can raise a baby together without being together and we shouldn't be together just because we share a child.”
“I want both.” And it feels damn good to say that out loud. I have loved this woman for years and my running from her thinking I was doing the right thing only hurt both of us. I’m done running.
Bella looks me right in my eyes, assessing me, maybe trying to see if I mean what I say. “How about we start with the first one and maybe in time we can consider the second one.”
“Okay, I’ll take it.”
“So, that’s it?” Cooper asks Bella. “Just like that you’re letting him into your daughter’s life? Your life?”
“I went four years without you. You didn’t get to hold me in the hospital or bring me home. You missed my first steps and my first words.”
“Bella…” Cooper chokes out her name.
“No, I know it was out of your control. I know you and Mom regret not exchanging numbers the weekend you met. But the fact is, we missed out on a lot and not by our choice. I’m not going to do that to Marco. Do I trust him? No. Trust is earned, not given.” She raises a brow at me. “But if he wants to move back to Vegas with me and be in our daughter’s life, I’m not going to stop him.”
“It’s not the same thing, Bella. He said he didn’t want the baby.”
“No, he said he didn’t want a baby. He didn’t know my baby was his, and you might be mad at Marco right now, but you know the person he was before. You loved him like he was your own son. If I messed up, if I turned to drugs and lashed out, would you disown me too?”
Cooper doesn’t say anything. He just shakes his head, his eyes bloodshot like he’s holding back tears and I know exactly how he feels, because the large lump in my throat tells me I feel pretty much the same thing. Bella is the youngest one here, yet in this moment, she is probably the wisest. She is also the most forgiving. She could easily push me away, make shit hard on me, and I would deserve it. I told her she was dead to me for crying out loud. I told her she should abort her own fucking kid! But instead, she opens her heart up and lets anyone and everyone in, and tries to see the best of everyone in every damn situation.
Cooper gives Bella a hug and tells her he loves her. While they’re embracing, the pediatrician comes in. “Good afternoon, I’m Dr. Weisberg. I’m just going to check on baby”—He flips through his chart—“Michaels. And if all is well, you will both be discharged today.”
“Baby Michaels?” Cooper asks Bella.
“Yes, I gave her Marco’s last name, the same way mom gave me yours once she knew what it was.”
“Doctor, how soon can the baby travel via private plane?”
“Normally, the recommendation to fly is two months to give the babies time to build up their immune systems, but by private plane, there’s no reason she can’t fly immediately. Just make sure to keep her away from others at the airport.”
“Thank you,” Cooper says, then he pulls out his phone and puts it to his ear. After a few seconds, he says, “I’m going to need the plane in San Diego… Yes, tonight… Thank you.”
“Dad, I can’t just leave tonight! I still need to get my stuff from the apartment.”
“I can take you over there after you get out. We can pack what you need and have the rest shipped. I’m going to do the same for my stuff,” I point out.
“I don’t think us going to the apartment together is a good idea,” Bella says.
“I’ll go,” her dad says. “While you’re waiting to be discharged I’ll go by the apartment. Text Tristan and let him know. I’ll be back after it’s all taken care of and we’ll fly out tonight.”
“We need to find a place,” Bella says, suddenly looking extremely overwhelmed.
“Hey,” I murmur. “I’ll stay with my parents and you’ll stay with yours for the time being, and as soon as we find a place, we’ll move in and give Micaela a beautiful home.”
Bella nods. “Okay.”
Micaela cries out and we all turn to look at her. The doctor is checking her out and Bella rushes over to make sure she’s okay.
“Micaela is doing very we
ll. I just want you to make sure you give her exposure to the sunlight and follow up with whichever pediatrician you choose for her. You’ll need to make an appointment to get her one week shots done.
“Okay, I’ll call the pediatrician my mom used for me and my siblings.”
“Very good. The nurse should be in shortly to give you your official discharge paperwork.” He shakes Bella’s hand then mine. “Congratulations.”
“Thank you,” we both say and then he’s out the door.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Bella
Me: I know you asked for space and I promise I’m giving it to you. My dad needs to come by to get my stuff from the apartment. When would be a good time?
I stare at the screen scared to death of what Tristan’s response will be—if he even responds at all. It’s insane how much has changed in the last seventy-two hours. I went in to give birth to my daughter with one guy claiming to be the father, only to have my entire world shaken and knocked around. And when I think of how Tristan must feel—I know in the long run, this is for the best, but that doesn’t mean my heart isn’t hurting any less for my best friend and what he must be going through.
Tristan: He can come by any time.
Tears prick my eyes when I read his text. I know I shouldn’t have expected anything more, but deep down I was hoping he would say something more. What? I have no clue. I just hate that I’m about to move over three hundred miles away and we aren’t even on speaking terms.
Me: Okay, thank you. And Tristan, I’m sorry… for everything.
I probably shouldn’t have written that second half, but I needed to say it one last time.
Tristan: I know. Just give me time.
Me: Okay
