by Darcy Burke
She brushed his hair back from his forehead. “You have so much to fight for,” she whispered. “Stay with us. Please.”
Then she prayed for a Christmas miracle.
He was so cold. His finger and toes were ice. He huddled into himself, but there was simply no heat. Was this how he was going to meet his end? He’d expected to be much older, based on his vision of the future.
But maybe he was. Maybe he’d spent years in a trance, his life nothing but a dark void he couldn’t remember. And maybe that was for the best.
Calder opened his eyes and gasped, his body jerking. He blinked, trying to bring the area around him into focus.
There was light and softness and…warmth. There was also movement against his side. That seemed to be the source of the warmth. He reached out and felt the familiar comforting silk of a dog’s fur.
“Calder?”
He knew that voice. He blinked several more times until his vision finally became clear. Felicity stood beside his bed, her face splitting into the most relieved smile he’d ever seen.
“What are you doing here?” His voice sounded scratchy, and indeed, his throat felt as if it hadn’t been used. Furthermore, his entire body ached. What had happened to him?
Isis nudged the hand he’d placed on her head. Calder looked over and stroked her several times, murmuring, “Good girl.”
Felicity smoothed her hand over his forehead and exhaled before smiling even wider. “Your fever has broken.”
He’d had a fever? “I was cold.”
“I should think so. Isis found you in the meadow unconscious against a tree.” Felicity glanced toward the dog in open admiration. “You were nearly frozen. You took a chill, obviously, and you’ve had a fever since.”
He saw the purple streaks beneath her eyes, the rumpled state of her gown, and the wisps of hair that had escaped her chignon. It was clear she’d been nursing him. “Why are you here taking care of me?”
“Who else should do it? And don’t say your valet or a maid or Truro. Of course I would be the one to care for you.”
Of course. Only it didn’t seem that obvious to him. After the way he’d behaved, she should have run far away—he’d told her to.
Felicity poured water into a glass. “Drink this for your parched throat.”
He struggled to sit up, and the room tilted sideways. He closed his eyes briefly while she helped to get him situated against the headboard.
“Ready?” she asked, handing him the glass. He nodded and took a tentative sip, followed by a longer drink.
“You gave us quite a scare.” She brushed his hair back from his forehead. “I was with Gabriel. Everyone had spread out to look for you on the estate. I thought you might be in our meadow.”
“Isis was with you, apparently.” He handed Felicity back the glass, and she set it on the bedside table next to the pitcher. “She is the best friend I’ve ever had.” He stroked the dog’s head again and looked at her with love. Yes, love. He knew what that emotion felt like after all. Then he returned his gaze to Felicity. “Next to you.”
“How can I possibly be your best friend?” she asked, appearing bemused.
“No one has ever been so persistently dedicated in their desire to warm my heart. I should say that more than qualifies you.”
Felicity laughed softly. “Indeed it does.” She perched on the edge of the bed beside him, her thigh next to his. “Why did you run away from me?”
“I was overcome…with emotion.” He didn’t want to say too much.
“So I understand from your sisters. They told me about the Yule log story you shared with them. About your father.” She put her hand on his arm, which was still beneath the covers. “I’d determined some time ago that your father had been particularly cruel to you. One need only look at what he did to us to realize he wasn’t kind to you.”
“But he was to my sisters. They loved him. They miss him.”
“I’m not sure that’s the case anymore. They feel terrible that you endured so much without them even realizing.”
“I’m six years older than Poppy and eight years older than Bianca. Why would they have realized anything?” Defending them came naturally all of a sudden. He’d seen them as almost enemies since they’d been aligned with the person who was at the core of his misery, but how were they to know how their father had treated him? “I wish I hadn’t told them. They deserve to remember him with affection.” The way he recalled their mother, whom they couldn’t remember at all.
“They are glad to know the truth. They want to help you however they can. If they can. They want to be a family.” She looked at him sternly. “Before you ran off, you seemed to have had some sort of nightmare. I was terrified for you, and when we couldn’t find you… You’re a very selfish man, Calder,” she said crossly.
He pulled his hand from beneath the covers and laid it over hers. “I am. But I don’t want to be. In recent days, I’ve seen a past I desperately want to reclaim, a present I despise, and a future that terrifies me to my soul.”
“Nightmares?” she asked, her beautiful face creasing with concern.
“Sometimes. The past and the present were real. I saw us together, planning to wed. Then my father said that would never happen.” There was so much he needed to tell her. But he was so afraid of her reaction. “When you understand how I’ve lived, the kind of man I became when I thought you rejected me…You’ll want to leave.”
She put her other hand on top of his, curling her fingers around him. “Never.”
“The future I saw—you were there. You were married to someone else. You had children and grandchildren. You were so happy.”
“Did my husband look like you?”
He honestly couldn’t recall the man’s face. “I don’t know. But I was dead. My sisters and their husbands—and no one else save a vicar I didn’t recognize—came to my burial. I died alone.”
“That is not the future, then,” she said firmly. “Because I plan to marry only you, and if we’re especially blessed, we will have children and grandchildren.” She leaned toward him. “And I plan to be so very happy.” Her eyes glowed, and he almost believed it.
“When my father said you’d left me, I went to London, where I behaved reprehensibly. I squandered everything—my money, my friendships, my reputation. None of it mattered to me without you. When I learned you’d wed, it only got worse.” His voice cracked, and she squeezed his hand between hers. Isis pressed closer against his side. “Then my father cut me off. I awoke one day in a filthy alley outside a gaming hell. I hadn’t been able to pay an IOU. Several men thrashed me. That wasn’t who I wanted to be. From that moment on, I built myself back up—the money, anyway. And my reputation improved, somewhat.” His mouth twisted into a sad smile. “I wasn’t known as a wastrel anymore, but an arrogant miser with no interest in joy.”
“You quite perfected that,” she said with a heavy dash of irony.
“Yes.” Miraculously, he chuckled, but it was short-lived. “I’ve been awful to you. And to my sisters. And to the people of Hartwood and Hartwell.”
“You remade yourself once before, I’m confident you can do it again. But this time, you shall be the joyful duke.” She fell silent a moment, and he sensed there was a battle being waged behind her eyes. “If you want that.”
“Yes, I want that. I’m just not sure I can be that.”
“I just told you that you could. Do you doubt me?”
“No.” He stifled a smile. She was managing him. He rather liked it.
“Do you promise not to run off ever again?”
He looked into her eyes. “I promise.”
“Good, because we are in this together. We’ve lost too much time.”
Isis stretched beside him. He turned his head to see her watching him with complete adoration. “I love you too,” he murmured to his dog. Then he looked back to Felicity. “But I love you more.” Wincing, he glanced back at Isis. “Sorry.”
Isis laid her hea
d on his hand. Apparently, she didn’t mind.
Felicity cupped his face and stared at him, unblinking. “Did you just say you love me?”
He opened his mouth to repeat himself, but she kissed him. Then she pulled away, laughing. “I thought it would take months, maybe years, for you to say it. I love you so much, Calder.”
“I’ve no idea why.”
She arched a brow at him. “It’s very telling when a dog loves someone as much as Isis loves you.” She reached over and patted Isis on the head. “And Isis is a very smart dog.”
“That she is.” He frowned suddenly. “I’m afraid I have no idea what day it is. Did I miss Christmas altogether?”
She nodded. “I’m afraid so. It’s St. Stephen’s Day.”
“It is?” He sat up from the headboard, straightening his spine. “I want to go to the party. Why aren’t you there?”
She cocked her head to the side, laughing. “Because I was taking care of you, silly. I don’t think you should get out of bed today.”
“Sorry, love, but life is too short for me to miss this celebration. The dukes of Hartwell never miss it. I’m afraid I’m going, whether you like it or not.”
She stood from the bed, her lips set into a deep, disapproving frown. “Fine, but only for a short while, agreed?”
He slipped his legs from the bed and held on to the post as he stood. “I’ll agree if you consent to marry me.”
“If that was a proposal, it wasn’t a very good one. But it doesn’t matter. Your sisters and I have already planned the wedding. It’s to be at St. Cuthbert’s the day after Epiphany.”
Yes, she was definitely managing him, and he was absolutely fine with that. “Excellent. I agree. I would be delighted to be your husband.”
Laughter, loud and joyous, spilled from her lips. He joined in, then took her in his arms. She kissed him again, far too briefly. He clasped her more tightly. “Perhaps we could take a few more minutes?”
She stepped back and shook her finger at him. “You’re lucky I’m letting you go outside.”
Indeed he was. “I’m lucky in every way a man can be,” he said quietly, letting her go. “I am yours—happily—to command.”
“Let’s get you dressed.” She gave him a brilliant smile, then walked with him to his dressing chamber.
“I could get used to having you as a valet,” he said. Was this really happening? Was she really here with him? He clasped her hand, stopping just as they stepped over the threshold to the dressing room. “Tell me this isn’t a dream.”
She squeezed his fingers. “It is, my love. It’s a dream come true.”
The weather had thankfully warmed on Christmas Day, and the celebration happening on the grounds of Hartwood was a wonder to behold. Large tents housed tables laden with food, barrels of wine and ale, and seating areas for people, especially the old and infirm, to sit and converse. And laugh. Laughter was by far the music of the day.
Pine boughs decorated the tents, as did mistletoe. One of the tents was entirely dedicated to games such as snapdragon. Children spilled from that tent running to and fro, engaging in other games such as Puss in the Corner and Hunt the Fox.
“I want to go speak with Mrs. Armstrong,” Calder said. She stood laughing between Poppy and Gabriel near one of the games being played.
“Certainly.” Felicity had insisted he hold on to her arm the entire time they were outside. He was weak from being abed with fever the past day and a half. Had it only been a day and a half? It had felt like the longest period of her life. She’d been so worried she would lose him. After all the time they’d spent apart and everything he’d been through, it just wouldn’t have been fair.
Poppy’s eyes lit when she saw Calder and Felicity coming toward them. When they arrived, Calder looked to Felicity and started to take his arm from her. Felicity understood what he was about and nodded that it was all right.
Turning to Poppy, Calder hugged her fiercely. “I’m sorry,” he said softly, but Felicity could hear him.
“I’m so glad you’re all right.” Poppy pulled back in his embrace and smiled up at him. “You shouldn’t be out here.”
“I’m the duke. I most definitely should be out here.” He kissed her cheek, then turned to Gabriel, offering his hand. “Darlington.”
“Probably time you called me Gabriel. If you’d like.”
“I would, but only if you’ll stop calling me Chill. I never cared for that name.”
“Fair enough,” Gabriel said.
“I’m glad to see you’re feeling better, Your Grace,” Mrs. Armstrong said with a curtsey. “They said you were ill.”
“I wouldn’t miss the St. Stephen’s Day party.” He flinched. “I suppose I did try, but I’ve come to my senses now.” He smiled at Felicity and took her arm once more. “Thanks to Mrs. Garland, who will soon be Her Grace, the Duchess of Hartwell.”
Mrs. Armstrong clapped her hands together. “How wonderful!”
“I wanted to be sure to tell you that I’ll be bringing several dogs—and more cats—to Hartwell House. The children need pets.”
A small pleat gathered between Mrs. Armstrong’s brows. “I have a cat, and there are goats.”
“Goats do not make great pets,” he said wryly. “You need dogs. And more cats.”
“What a marvelous idea!” Poppy said.
“What’s that?” Bianca and Ash joined them. She looked to Calder. “You’re looking better, brother, but should you really be outside?”
“Felicity is managing me well enough,” he said, lifting his free hand in supplication. “Though it sounds as if you and Poppy are helping. I understand you’ve planned our nuptials.”
“It had to be done,” Bianca said with a shrug before grinning widely. “That means you said yes?”
“She said yes.” Calder laughed as he looked from Bianca to Poppy to Felicity. “I fear my life will never be the same.” His gaze didn’t waver from hers when he softly added, “And for that, I’m eternally grateful.”
“What’s the idea I missed?” Bianca asked.
Before anyone could answer, Alice, the girl from Hartwell House whom Calder had helped, ran to him and threw her arms around his waist. “They said you were ill.”
“I was,” he said, taking his arm from Felicity to hug Alice. “But I wouldn’t miss the celebration. Are you having fun?” He squatted down to talk to her.
She nodded, her mouth splitting into a wide smile. “I’ve already beaten Freddie at snapdragon twice.” She held up her fingers, which were bright red from pulling raisins from a flaming bowl of brandy.
“Splendid. You’ll be delighted to know that Mrs. Armstrong has agreed to let me bring some dogs and cats to Hartwell House next week.” He smiled at her. “You shall have the pick of the puppies.”
Alice’s eyes widened, and she launched herself at him so hard that he lost his balance and fell backward onto the ground. Horrified, Alice leapt up, her jaw dropping. “I’m so sorry, Your Grace!”
Calder lifted his head. “I’m fine.”
Felicity rushed to help him, but Ash and Gabriel took charge of restoring him to his feet.
“All right, then?” Ash asked.
Calder clasped his hand in gratitude. “I am, thank you.”
“I think you should go back inside,” Felicity said, worried that he’d fallen, even if it was only because the girl had jumped at him. “You can sit in the drawing room and watch the festivities from the window.”
“I have to make my speech first. The duke always makes a speech.”
Felicity was going to argue that his sisters could do it, but Bianca spoke first. “He’s right. I’ll get everyone’s attention.”
Calder gave Felicity a look that seemed to imply it was out of his hands, to which Felicity rolled her eyes. She escorted him to the small dais, where Bianca blew a horn.
It took a minute, but conversation died down, and everyone paused in their activities or filed from the tents to look toward the dais.
Calder wiped a hand beneath his eye, but Felicity couldn’t see if there had been a tear. She held on to his hand and squeezed him tight, giving him all the strength and love she had.
“Good St. Stephen’s Day!” he called out loudly, surprising Felicity with the volume of his voice considering he’d been ill.
“Welcome to Hartwood. It is my pleasure—our pleasure”—he gestured to the rest of his family on the dais—“to have you here. I would like to start by saying we will have another celebration soon, for I am to wed the lovely woman at my side. May I present the future Duchess of Hartwell.” He bowed to Felicity, and she blushed beneath the applause and cheering.
When the congratulations faded, Calder continued. “I want to thank my sisters, Lady Darlington and Lady Buckleigh, for their hard work and dedication to making this celebration happen, and for all they do for Hartwell House and our village.”
This was met with more cheering. Poppy and Bianca curtsied on the dais.
After several moments, Calder was able to go on. “I also want to thank Lord Darlington and Lord Buckleigh for their help today and every day. I should also thank Lord Thornaby for his assistance and his willingness to host the party when I was… When I was an idiot.”
Gasps and nods spread through the crowd.
“I have no excuse for my behavior since becoming the duke, but I shall promise you here today that the people of Hartwood and Hartwell are my primary concern. I look forward to refurbishing Hartwell House and assisting with the reconstruction of Shield’s End. And I want each of you to know that I am here to support you and ensure your welfare.”
The cheering and applause started anew and continued apace until Calder held up his hand. “Forgive me, but I need to rest before I collapse—it’s true that I am ill. If I don’t go inside, I fear my betrothed will drag me.” He sent her a loving look. She shook her head at a round of guffaws.
“Before I go,” he said, “I want to announce that we will add two new celebrations to the calendar. We will have a May Day Celebration and a Harvest Festival. Now go and enjoy your day!”
