“Come on, Felicity. Give me a shot. I swear, I’m a changed man. I’ll take you back to my place right now and will make sure you enjoy your night. You know he won’t do that.”
He? Who’s he? Me? I’m going to fucking kill Greg. He knows how I feel about her. Maybe he thinks it no longer applies since we’re all adults now. It still applies.
“Nah,” she says. “I’m holding out for something better.” She gets up and grabs a ball, stepping up to the line.
Greg stands and I do too. I look at him with my eyes set. “The rules still apply here, you know? Nothing has changed.”
His shoulders fall. “Come on, man. You’ve had your turn for years now. You ain’t done nothing about it. Move over and let some of us have a turn.”
I shake my head. “Touch her, you’re dead.” I walk away, heading outside for some fresh air to cool off.
I lean against the hood of my car and cross my arms over my chest. My breath comes out in little clouds in the freezing night air. I left my coat inside but right now, I don’t even notice the bitter cold. I hang my head, staring at the gravel beneath my feet. I try telling myself all the usual shit, but it’s not having the same effect it usually does. It’s not making me back down. Instead, I’m just telling myself how stupid I am for holding out this long.
I don’t look up until I hear the crunch of gravel. I look up and find Felicity walking toward me. “What are you doing out here?’ she asks, coming to a stop in front of me.
I shrug. “Just needed some fresh air. It was a little crowded in there.”
She nods once, then moves to lean against the hood with her arms crossed just like I am. “It is a little crowded in there. And it stinks. I forgot how badly a hundred feet smell mixed with the scent of stale beer and grilled onions.” She laughs and I smile.
Silence falls between us for a moment. I look over and notice she’s also not wearing a coat but has both of ours in her arms.
“You need a coat.”
“You seem off tonight. What’s up?” She ignores my comment.
I shrug before looking over at her. “It’s just being back here with you and all of them. It makes me miss that time of my life, you know? I wish…I wish we could have known back then that we were in the good ol' days. Makes me wish I would’ve done things a little differently. Does that make sense?”
She nods. “It does. I think about that all of the time though. I don’t have to be here for me to think of it.”
“What do you wish you could do differently?”
“Well, I wish I never would’ve wasted any time with that jackass Greg in there,” she giggles out, but her tone quickly turns serious. “I wish we could’ve gotten closer.”
“How so? We were already pretty close,” I remind her.
“Back then, the only thing I wanted was to be pinned to the hood of this car by you.”
I look over at her and it’s like the world stops. Everything stops, everything but us as we stare into one another’s eyes. Her chest is rising and falling quickly. As is mine. But it’s out there. She’s said the words. Does that change anything? No. Is it enough to stop me this time? No. I’m too weak to keep this game up any longer.
Before she can process what’s happening, I’m spinning around, positioning myself between her legs, and laying her back on the hood of my car as my lips find hers. Our coats fall to the ground but I don’t care. This isn’t the first time we’ve kissed, but it is different. This time, I’m not worried about ruining her future. She’s a grown woman now and she knows what she’s doing. She isn’t some eighteen-year-old kid who doesn’t know what she wants. She’s telling me she wants me and I want her too. We’re both adults here, so what’s the problem? Other than the obvious of us being best friends who are about to fuck up everything we’ve ever known. I wonder if she’s thought this through like I have.
Either way, I give myself a few moments to enjoy this, just like I did back then. My hands tour her soft body. I let my hands feel her full hips, reaching around to grab her ass and pull her closer against me. Fuck, she feels amazing in my hands. I’ve never allowed myself to touch her this way. Her breasts feel heavy in my hands, more than a handful but nothing is wasted. Our mouths never stop moving; I cover her lips with my own, snaking my tongue in and out of her mouth. Her hands are around the back of my neck, pulling me closer—her fingers raking through my hair. It feels like we can’t get close enough to one another.
“Fuck, Felicity,” I whisper against her lips. “You have no idea how badly I’ve wanted you. How long I’ve waited to hear the words.”
Her arm moves between us, her hand reaching down and finding my aching dick that’s still in my pants, threatening to bust through the seams. “Oh, I think I have an idea,” she whispers, squeezing me.
“Damn, I didn’t think you’d actually do it,” Greg says, walking out of the bowling alley, causing us to both pull back and look at the smug grin on his face. He starts slow clapping. “Good for you, man.” That’s the last he says before climbing behind the wheel and taking off.
“Asshole,” Felicity says from beside me.
“Come on. Let’s get out of here.” I move around to the passenger side and open the door for her. She slides into her seat as I pick up our coats and climb behind the wheel. I start the car and drive away from the alley. With the cool air blowing through the cab of the car, it’s easier to think more clearly, to see the mistake we could be making.
“Felicity, you know what you mean to me, right?”
She looks over at me, brows drawn together.
“In my life, I lost my dad to the divorce. After that, my mom changed too. You’ve been the only constant in my life, even if we went months without talking, I knew you’d be there for me in an instant.”
“Why are you telling me this, Carson?”
“I want you, Felicity. I do. I’ve always wanted you. That time you came to look at my college, it nearly killed me to pull away. That time when I came to visit and I found you stripping on that table, it took everything I had in me to put your shirt back on and take you home instead of pulling you into some dark bedroom and having my way with you. And when I heard that Greg was trying to take you from me, I lost my fucking mind. He didn’t call you back because he’s an asshole. He didn’t call you back because I threatened to beat his ass. I couldn’t bear the thought of someone else touching you.”
She shakes her head. “What does this have to do with anything, Carson?”
“I want you, Felicity, but I can’t have you.”
Her face goes slack.
“You’re too important to me to gamble with. I want you, but I refuse to fuck this up. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you. That’s why I think that sleeping together would be a mistake. If I hurt you, if I lost you, I don’t know what I would do.”
“So, you’re taking me home?” she asks, looking at the road and seeing we’re back on our street.
I nod once. “I need to drop you off. I need to get as far away from you as I can before I fuck up and take you, ruining everything we’ve built since we were kids.”
“You do realize that I’m right next door, right? My window looks into yours. That isn’t taking away much temptation, is it?” She doesn’t seem to understand how serious I am.
“Felicity,” I warn, pulling in front of my mom’s house.
She looks over at me. “Seriously?”
I nod, chancing a look at her. She doesn’t seem sad like I thought she would. She seems let down, mad even. “So tonight, the kissing on the hood…”
“That was me giving into my urges one last time, but I can’t do that with you. I can’t be selfish. If I do, I’ll only take something great from the both of us. I will hurt myself to protect you, Felicity.”
She lets out a long breath and shakes her head, but climbs out, slamming the door behind her without another word. Feeling as if I’ve let her down, I wait and watch in the mirror until I see her enter the house and the porch light
s go off. After that, I climb out and walk inside the house I’ve grown to hate.
My mom and Jack must already be in bed because the house is dark and quiet. I waste no time in going straight to my room like I’ve always done. I flip on the light and see that that room has been changed to a guest room now. My mother has taken the liberty of turning down the bed for me, and she’s brought my bags in and placed them on the foot of the bed. I pick up the bag that holds my clothes for the weekend and start putting them away. Then I grab my laptop and place it on the desk, having a seat in the chair. I turn it on and go through my email. I return a few and then lean back to stretch. I notice that my mother has all the curtains open in the room and I get a glimpse at Felicity’s window. There is a red curtain hanging over it. I wonder why? They always used to be white before, but maybe she’s re-done the room. That’s when I see the curtain move, like something brushed up against it. That makes me curious and I wait to see what happens. Will she turn off the light and go to sleep or will she open the curtains?
When we were kids and we’d get into fights, she’d keep the curtain closed until she forgave me. When the curtain opened, I knew it was okay to go over and talk to her. The curtain moves again and I see light. I turn my chair so I’m facing the window directly; that’s when I see the curtain fall. I know this is fucked up. I’m torturing myself.
I was right. The room does have white curtains. I can see them on either side of the open window now. And Felicity is standing directly in front of it with a wide smile.
Five
Felicity
Sure, I’m angry that he changed his mind. I’m upset and let down, but that doesn’t stop me. No, I’m not stopping. Not this time. This time, I’m getting what I want. Him.
Every other time I’ve decided to try for him, it always backfired, and this time it might too, but each time we do this little dance, I feel his resolve crumble just a little more. Tonight, we were closer than we have ever been before. That has to mean something. We’re closer than that night at his college when we kissed on the street. That was just a kiss. Tonight, it was more than a kiss. There were words said that he can’t take back. There was touching. I felt him in my hand. He had his hands all over me. He wants me just as badly as I want him. The only difference is that I’m not giving up.
So when I come up with this drunken plan, I know it won’t work but it’s another step in the bigger plan I have in my head. I have one weekend to make him see before he’s back to the city and away from me. Tonight is only step one. I hang a red tablecloth over the window and move the curtains to the side while I get ready. I crack open that bottle of gin I stashed in my purse earlier and turn on some music. I have to give myself a little pep talk but I finally have the balls—aka the bottom of the bottle.
I jerk the curtain down and to my surprise, he’s already there at his window with his eyes on mine. I smile and he gives me a confused look, then I start to sway my hips to the beat of the music as I back up so he can see all of me. I spin around in a circle and my hair flies around me. When my eyes find his again, he’s wearing a smile. Then I reach for the hem of my shirt and his smile falls. I pull it up, revealing my black lace bra. His eyes stretch wide open as his brows raise. I drop the shirt and dance around a little more, slowly unfastening my jeans and lowering the zipper. When I look up at him, he’s scooting his chair closer to the window.
I smile. My plan is working.
I turn my back to him and start moving my hips from side to side as I work my jeans over my ass. I look over my shoulder at him just as the jeans get past my ass and he sees my black lace thong. He’s sitting back, his elbows resting on the chair’s arms. His eyes are dark, smoldering as he watches me dance for him. I spin around a couple of times before reaching behind me and unclasping my bra. His eyes narrow the moment the bra falls and my breasts bounce free. Slowly, I lower the straps on the bra and let my arms escape. Still holding the bra to my chest, I pull it away, holding it out to the side where I let it drop. The moment I do, his mouth drops open like a cartoon that’s drooling.
I smile as I walk closer to the window. He leans up in his chair. I watch as he slides the window open. I do the same, then bend down so his face and mine are at the same level.
“What are you doing, Felicity?”
I smile and shrug.
“Are you trying to kill me?”
“Just want you to know what you’re missing,” I say.
“Trust me, I know what I’m missing.”
“Good night, Carson.” I lower the window, then close the curtains.
I smile to myself as I pull on my pajamas and slip into bed. I put my phone on the charger by the bed and turn off the light. I think of him all alone over there in that bedroom and wonder what he’s doing now. Is he thinking about me? Was he turned on by me?
My phone dings and lights up. I grab it and look at the screen, finding his name.
Carson: No fair.
I laugh.
Felicity: Who says I play fair?
Carson: I know you don’t, but I didn’t expect that. I’m going to have blue balls now.
Felicity: I can fix that. Devil face emoji.
Carson: You have no idea how badly I want to climb through that window and make you scream my name. And you would, you know?
That makes my belly clench and I squeeze my thighs together.
Felicity: IDK, I’m not much of a screamer in bed, I tease.
Carson: That’s because you haven’t been properly fucked. I won’t stop until I have you screaming my name and begging me to stop.
Holy shit! My body flashes with heat and need and my muscles tighten.
Carson: By the end, I would have had you in every dirty position your mind can think of and even some you never thought possible.
I have to fan my face as I read that. What is he doing?
Carson: I’m going to watch your tits bounce in my face while you ride every last inch of my cock. And when you come and are too weak to continue, I’m going to bend you over and fuck you until, until…
Damn you. Until what? I wait for the rest. I wait. And wait. And wait. Finally, I text back.
Felicity: Until what?
Carson: You really wanna know?
Felicity: YES!
Carson: Are you turned on right now?
Felicity: Ugh, YES!
Carson: Laughing face emoji. Now you know how it feels. Good night, sweetheart.
Ugh. Fuck you, Carson. I toss my phone back onto the table and stare up at the white ceiling. I should have fucking known.
In the morning, I wake up and take a quick shower before heading to the kitchen. Mom is already up and the coffee has been made. She’s working over the stove, making pancakes, scrambled eggs, and bacon.
“Oh, Mom. You didn’t have to do all of this,” I say, pouring a cup of coffee.
“Hush, it’s been a long time since I had a reason to cook. And I enjoy cooking, you know?”
I smile over at her. “I know.”
I take my cup of coffee over to the table and she places a plate in front of me.
“So, how was your night?”
Ugh, how do I even explain it? “It was…interesting.” To say the least.
“Interesting? What’s that mean?” She comes to sit down beside me with a plate of her own.
“We met up with a bunch of his friends from high school. They were cool, but I kept noticing how jealous Carson would get when I’d spend too much time with another guy.”
Mom smiles. “Well, that’s to be expected, isn’t it?”
I tilt my head to the side. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, it’s obvious he has a thing for you. He always has. I remember watching you two play as kids. I could see it then. He loved you. He would’ve done anything to protect you and he still would.”
“That’s another thing, Mom. I want him. Always have.” I feel embarrassed talking about this with my mom, but she doesn’t seem fazed at all.
&nbs
p; “Does he know?”
After last night? “I’m sure he does.”
“What’s stopping you?”
“He’s afraid to screw up our friendship. He said that I’ve always been a constant in his life and he doesn’t know what he’d do if he screwed up our relationship and lost me as a friend.”
“So, he’s scared?”
Scared? Is Carson scared? He isn’t scared of anything.
“Honey, is he worth fighting for?”
“Yes,” I answer without question.
“Is your happiness worth fighting for?”
“Yes,” I tell her.
“Then don’t give up. He’s just afraid, honey. Just be patient with him. Guys are a little slow when it comes to this kind of thing.”
I smile. “Thanks, Mom.” I take a bite of my pancakes and savor it. Our conversation drops while we eat and it gives me time to think about all of this. I think back over our years of friendship. I was convinced at the age of seven that he was put on this earth for me. That he was mine and I just knew that one day, we’d grow up, fall in love, get married, have children, and live happily ever after. I held out hope that one day, he’d see what I had to offer him. I was in love with him growing up, and then when he left me here to go off to college, I thought I’d die without him. We talked often on the phone, but it wasn’t the same. I wanted to see his face, see his eyes and that panty-dropping smile. I prayed for the day that he’d see me as a woman and not the child he grew up with. And when we kissed at his school, I thought it was a turning point.
It wasn’t. Things went backward actually. He wasn’t as free with me as he used to be. After that kiss something was holding him back. I remember telling him that “it depends” on which college I attended. Well, what it depended on was him. If he could see me as a woman, someone he wanted to be with, I would’ve gone to college in the city with him. But he didn’t. Instead, he pushed me away. I went home heartbroken from that trip. I cried nearly the whole way home. His rejection killed me.
Naughty or Nice: A Friends to Lovers Christmas Romance Page 4
