Charlotte hastened to the parlor where she found the gentleman waiting. She quickly penned a response at the writing desk in the corner and handed it back to him. Then she went above stairs, looking at her meager wardrobe and wondering what one would wear to go and face their day of ruining.
Chapter 4
Despite Bitty’s protests, Charlotte rode out to the Duchess’ townhouse with her head held high. She did the best she could with her wardrobe. She wore her finest dress and she even retrieved the butterfly comb and slid it into her hair. If she was going to be accused of being Daniel’s mistress, then she might as well enjoy the small bit of comfort that came with the title.
When the carriage pulled up outside the Duchess’ townhouse, Charlotte was helped down by the footman and escorted into the main sitting room. The morning tea commenced when Her Grace felt it was time for it to begin, no earlier and no later. That was the societal rule because of the Duchesses ranking, despite the fact that Charlotte was a guest in her home. Frankly, the wait was shorter than she would have anticipated. She suspected the Duchess was anxious to get on with her interrogation regarding the Commander’s presence in Charlotte’s home last night.
She was shown into the less formal sitting room where the Duchess was already seated. Charlotte looked around curiously, wondering where everyone else was. She expected there to be a gaggle of ladies waiting to laugh and scoff at her, but the two women were alone in the room.
Charlotte couldn’t help but gaze at the beauty of the room. She had never seen it before. Crystal and silver glittered in the shelves and paintings adorned the walls in gilded frames. Charlotte could only guess at the wages a Duchess might enjoy, but this was beyond anything she could imagine. She was rarely shown a glimpse of the rest of the house when she was there. Guests were invited to particular rooms, and it was expected that they would not go wandering. Charlotte knew of only one woman who dared sneak a peek in a doorway of one of the halls that they were escorted through. Charlotte never saw the women back at the house again.
Charlotte snapped herself out of her reverie before she could be considered rude. She curtseyed low and murmured, “Your Grace,” and then stood, waiting to be addressed. It was a moment before the Duchess acknowledged her.
“You may be seated, Ms. Rose.”
Charlotte moved to the seat at the far end of the table. This table was an oval and much smaller than the one she was accustomed to at the Duchesses residence. It was an intimate setting and Charlotte knew she was to be the only one taking tea with the Duchess that day. She kept her mouth shut, coming up with all sorts of small talk to chat about once she was permitted to speak.
“It’s no easy task, being a widow at such a young age, and yet, according to Society, still too old to be considered amongst the eligible debutants. Is it not, Ms. Rose?”
“No, your Grace.” Charlotte’s voice wavered but she spoke clearly enough for the Duchess to hear.
“It seems all too often, a woman of your station must resort to…different avenues in order to her status.”
And there it was, thought Charlotte. She considered how she might respond. “I suppose this to be the case for some women, your Grace.”
The Duchess smiled at Charlotte from behind her teacup, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “That’s a very diplomatic answer, Ms. Rose.” Charlotte didn’t reply, but gave a slight nod of her head. “That’s also a very nice trinket in your hair,” the Duchess observed.
“Thank you, Your Grace,“ Charlotte responded. The Duchess waited, but Charlotte didn’t elaborate on its origin.
“I suppose it would be prudent to point out that a woman of your station, seeking such avenues, should also practice a modicum of discretion,” the Duchess commented. Charlotte glanced up and the Duchess’ eyes twinkled. She had to be very careful. If she agreed with the Duchess, she might be confirming the gossip or hearsay regarding Commander Richards visit last night. If she said nothing, it might come across rude or disrespectful.
“Your Grace,” she began. “You are as always, a pinnacle of modicum and decorum. Your words ring wise and true.”
A rumble of laughter sounded from the Duchess. Charlotte felt more unease with this reaction than she would if the Duchess openly scorned or scoffed her. Was she giving her the blessing of engaging in an affair with the Commander? How was this possible? Questions once again began to mount in Charlotte’s mind. Charlotte waited, smiling politely whilst the Duchess collected herself.
After a moment, the Duchess cleared her throat, took a sip of tea, and said, “there are some fine linens from your late husband’s company coming in this Season. Perhaps you would indulge me with a bit of a fitting this afternoon. That dress you have on simply won’t do for the theater this weekend, will it?”
Charlotte froze. “I’m sorry, your Grace. I don’t understand.”
“Honestly, Ms. Rose. I’m aware of your naiveté regarding discretion beyond your marital duties when it comes to your affair. But has no one explained to you that if Commander Richards is to accompany you to the theater, you simply cannot go, even as his Mistress, in a common day dress?” The Duchess took a bite of her pudding gleefully and Charlotte felt the color drain from her cheeks. The Duchess looked up and tsked. “I’ve known from the start, Ms. Rose. Practically everyone did, but the circumstances were such that, with an elderly husband, there wasn’t a single woman around who didn’t pity your plight. Now that Mr. Rose is gone, may he rest in peace, you’re to be held to a higher standard as Commander Richard’s Mistress, of course. We can’t have you being the talk of the ton in a raggedy day dress. It simply won’t do. I’m making you my pet.”
Charlotte stifled a groan. How was it that Society could completely shun a woman for the slightest misdeed, and then raise another woman up with praise and pampering for a more offensive sin? She knew this morning that she was going to regret accepting this invitation. But still, she saw no way out of this. She had two choices: to accept the Duchess’ offer, or refuse and let the Duchess ruin her entirely. With the Duchess’ approval of her station as a mistress, no one would question it until such a time as the Duchess grew bored of playing with her new Charlotte doll. Charlotte could at least buy herself some time so she could secure a stable future for Bitty before that happened.
“That is most gracious of you, Your Grace. I truly look forward to accompanying you. You are most generous, I thank you.” Charlotte practically choked the pudding down, which was ironic as its smoothness of that of churned butter.
The Duchess smiled into her tea. The rest of the afternoon was passed in relative silence until it was time to go to the fitting. Charlotte went home laden with boxes and when Bitty opened the door, the procession of assistance who brought them to Charlotte’s bedroom caused her to shake her head furiously. Charlotte knew the argument that was about to ensue, and that was before Daniel stepped out of the parlor and observed the scene.
“This is all your fault!” Charlotte couldn’t hold in her temper anymore. She had been ill from anxiety since the Duchess cornered her into playing this dangerous game, and Charlotte hadn’t any outlet to vent her pent up emotions until now.
“I can assure you, I may spoil you with a trinket or two, but this is beyond even me,” Daniel murmured. He looked concerned as he searched her face. Charlotte turned away from him as the last footman returned from above stairs, giving her a stiff bow.
“The Duchess would like to reassure you that the rest of the garments that require additional mending will be sent as soon as they are ready.”
Charlotte simply nodded, too upset to answer. When the door closed she whirled on Daniel, pointing a finger at him. She didn’t even care that Bitty was still standing in the hall watching the whole encounter. “The Duchess has decided, since you were seen here at my residence last night and the other afternoon, that you’re keeping me as a Mistress. Instead of just ruining my name, she’s making me her pet. She claims that I will be a high source of amusement for her, and t
hat a woman of my station needs to think of alternative situations by which to find a means to an end. You are now bearing witness to the result of that little conversation betwixt Her Grace and I. And it is entirely your fault!” Charlotte walked up to Daniel and jabbed him in the chest with a finger. She was so angry and nervous about the future of her survival throughout the Duchess’ twisted game that her feelings were pouring out of her and being directed at Daniel.
“I am sorry if I have caused you discomfort, Char. I didn’t mean for you to get caught up in the scandal.” He took a step toward her and she stepped back.
“Didn’t you, though? You knew what coming here would mean. You knew before you got here that gossip was abounding about you and your wife. Yet, here you are, not caring about how it will affect Bitty or myself. Why did you come back, Daniel? You left and stopped writing. What was I supposed to do then? Wait until it was convenient for you to come back?” All of the emotions Charlotte had taught herself to hold back during his absence flooded her system. She’d been hurt, and now she was being dragged right back into the mud. The fact that she was secretly glad he was back certainly added insult to injury. Charlotte expected that her anger would help keep her in check, but it was merely seeping out of her, not causing her to love him any less.
“You’re absolutely right, Char. I knew what it would do. I don’t care what the Duchess thinks, and I certainly don’t care what the rest of the miserable ton thinks. All that I care about is getting the opportunity to explain why I stopped writing. I didn’t want to hurt you anymore. I thought that if I stopped writing, you would have time to move on and find someone to take care of you. I knew it wasn’t fair. I knew that still being married; I could never give you what you wanted...what you needed. But it’s different now. With Sarah run off…”
“It just means that Sarah is somewhere else,” she cut him off. “But she is still every bit as much your wife as when she was here. It doesn’t make it right, Daniel.”
“I know, Char. And if I could make it right, if I knew where she was, I would settle it. But I don’t, and I refuse to be separated from you any longer. Five years was too long.” His face was fierce and Charlotte took another step back.
“Daniel, it isn’t that simple. I wish it was, but it isn’t. Look at what has happened in the course of one afternoon. The Duchess has sunk her claws in and she’s going to see this through until something happens of it, for better or worse. From what I know of her, it is never for the best.”
Daniel’s face softened and he stepped forward, taking her hands in his. “Then we will deal with it together. For now, enjoy the privileges that come with it. Don’t say no to me. Please, Char?”
“She expects us to be at the theater this weekend,” Charlotte said miserably once Bitty backed away into the kitchen to give the pair some privacy.
“Then it will be my pleasure to accompany you to the theater this weekend, Char.” He clasped her hand and kissed the back of it. Charlotte sighed deeply.
“Daniel, this isn’t a game. She is treating it as such, but it isn’t.”
He let go of her hand and then cupped his fingers under her chin. “You’re absolutely right. This isn’t a game. What I feel for you, Char, hasn’t changed. Even after all this time,” he told her.
Charlotte felt her lips tremble. She was so torn between pushing him away and pulling him closer so that she could be caught up in his embrace. Daniel answered the internal question for her when he tugged on the hand he was still holding and pulled her in close. She inhaled his clean and masculine scent and closed her eyes. She felt like the next time she opened them, she would realize all of this was a dream. Daniel would across the seas again, while Charlotte was left pining for him, never knowing when or if he would return.
After a moment, Daniel leaned her back and lowered his head. Charlotte knew what was coming. She had never permitted things with Daniel to go this far, despite how much time they spent together, and her love for him. She deemed it inappropriate, but now that she was being accused of the very thing she was about to do, she cast her inhibitions aside and let the kiss happen.
It was like nothing she had ever felt before. She expected it to be wet, or perhaps dry and nearly leathery like her wedding kiss had been. But Daniel’s lips were soft, and he grazed them over her own back and forth, making her bottom lip tingle. Charlotte felt the tingle and heat travel from her lips to the rest of her body; she shivered in Daniel’s embrace when he pulled her tighter and pressed himself against her. She had never been so intimate with a man, even her late husband. She had dreamt of it before, but this was beyond anything she could have imagined. She felt warm and safe, like Daniel was going to take care of everything and she had nothing to worry about.
Charlotte sighed into his lips and he deepened the kiss, using his tongue to massage her bottom lip. She shivered again, but this time for an entirely different reason. Charlotte felt her fingers tighten on the sleeves of Daniel’s jacket, and her head felt light and dizzy at the pleasant sensations. She whimpered into his lips, trying to convey some unspoken message, some exclamation of how much she enjoyed his kiss, but it was incoherent. He seemed to understand her though, because he wound his hand around her waist and let it travel up her back until it rested at the nape of her neck. Charlotte stiffened at how closely they were pressed, but then his other hand let go of her arm. He let it trail around the back of her and cup the small of her back. She was trapped in his arms, and she didn’t mind it at all. She felt like she had waited a lifetime to be in his arms.
It was a long while before Daniel let her go. He took time to teach her the nuances of kissing, as she was such a novice. She found she thoroughly enjoyed every new technique he taught her. She had heard of some things, but other things he did with his tongue…Charlotte shivered again as she sighed happily and pressed her head to his chest. She listened to the sound of his heart beating and she counted the thumps. She closed her eyes again, feeling his strong arms under her fingers and his chin resting on top of her head. Charlotte rubbed her lips together, which continued to tingle even though the kiss was long past. She thought she might fall asleep standing right there if she hadn’t heard Bitty’s throat clear at the end of the hall.
Charlotte stepped away from Daniel and glanced down the hall. She knew Bitty was angry with her, but she would have to deal with her ire later. Daniel regarded her for a moment and then smiled. “Well, I was denied my chance to walk you in the park. But perhaps tomorrow I can describe some of the places I have seen so that you might paint them. You are still painting, aren’t you?” Charlotte looked up and nodded, not sure how to form a coherent thought in that moment.
After he left, Charlotte closed the door slowly and turned back around, leaning against it. She took a long moment to stand and collect her thoughts before going to the kitchen where Bitty was angrily kneading bread dough.
“Bitty…” She started but the woman harrumphed and turned her back to her.
“It’s not a good idea, Ms. Rose. That’s all I have to say on the matter.” Charlotte sat at the table and twirled a carrot in her hands.
“What would you have me do? The Duchess knew, and there wasn’t anything I could have done to prevent him from coming here last night.”
“You could have told her as much and denied her request to dress you up and treat you like a puppet!” Bitty’s words were harsh and Charlotte felt the sting of them as if she had slapped her outright.
“Bitty, I can’t help it that I am in love with him!” she cried.
“I’m not saying doing the right thing is easy, Ms. Rose. I wouldn’t be saying anything at all if I didn’t care about you so much,” Bitty said. The two women glared at each other from across the table. After a while, Charlotte slumped back into her seat and sighed.
“Bitty, do you hate me?”
Bitty sat as well. “No, I just don’t want to see you hurt so much.”
“You’re very sweet.”
“How did you ev
er meet Commander Richards, anyway?” Bitty began peeling the carrot.
“It was Mr. Rose. He held a dinner party for Commander Balfour, Commander Richards and Mr. Dylan. It was before I hired you. They all came to dinner because they have similar connections in the merchant, textile, and shipping industries. I met him at the party and he was engaging in ways the other men were not. He asked me my favored pastimes and I confessed my love of painting. At the time, it was Mr. Rose supplying the paints. I never meant to hurt Mr. Rose, honestly. I never thought I would be the kind of woman to be someone’s…well...someone’s mistress.” Charlotte felt her cheeks burn.
“No, I suppose you’re not. Well, whether right or wrong you are involved with Commander Daniels, but despite what the Duchess has to say on the matter, please attempt a modicum of chastity. That kiss in the hallway…” Bitty began to fan herself and Charlotte felt her cheeks grow warmer.
“That was something wasn’t it?” she giggled.
“Bless my soul, Ms. Rose, you could have scorched the pride and dignity of the Devil himself with that bit of sin!” Bitty continued to fan herself as Charlotte admonished her.
“Bitty!” she laughed and hid her face in her hands, peeking between her fingers. “I’ve never been kissed like that before.”
“I must say I doubt all the women of ill-repute down in White Chapel have been kissed like that.” Bitty was smiling, her cheeks just as red as Charlotte’s. They ate dinner and talked about the new clothes the Duchess had gifted her. They were modest for a woman of her age, but no less suggestive of her station on the arm of Commander Richards. Bitty commented that she was perhaps the chastest Mistress a young man could ever have. They had a good laugh at the irony of that and then excused themselves to their respective rooms.
It wasn’t until the morning when Charlotte woke up that she considered the extent of what it was she was about to publicly declare. People were going to talk; that was just the way of it. She was sure they were already talking. There were other couples of their nature, but they were so few and far between that when they did appear on the scene, they were the talk of it. Charlotte wasn’t naïve enough to think there weren’t others in the ton with Mistresses and such. But she was sure they were not out in the open like Daniel and she would be.
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