His returning smile was dim, watered down with the regret and guilt he wouldn’t release.
“I knew something bad was going to happen but I didn’t tell anyone.” Adam huffed out a laugh, brittle with judgment. “When I came home the night before they showed up there were owls in the trees around our house. All in the trees and it wasn’t even twilight.”
“I’m sorry,” she asked. “I don’t think I understand the importance of the owls.”
“Yeah, you wouldn’t. Naturally.” Adam shifted in his seat, reaching out and taking a sip from his beer. His voice was low, quiet and reverent. “In the Cherokee legend—superstition I guess some people would say—the owl is a bad omen. Precursor to death or something bad that is going to happen. I should have said something and I didn’t. Social Services showed up the next day and I don’t remember ever seeing my family again.”
She thought she understood a little bit better now. Adam thought that his not telling anyone about the owls somehow led to what happened, the destruction of his family. It sounded ridiculous, was impossible, but it would have been very real to a six-year-old boy. It would have been very real to someone whose life was based upon such tradition, such legends. It wasn’t her background but she respected that it was Adam’s and it was as much a part of him as her ingrained culture was a part of her own makeup.
But she couldn’t let him carry this guilt. She’d read the reports and the local social workers had wrecked so many families with their blatant disregard for the sanctity of their culture and their lives. There had been countless numbers of children ripped away from their homes, and people who were sworn to protect and ensure that the laws were followed looked in the other direction at the least and abetted the tragedy at the worst. And it wasn’t just in his community where this happened. All you had to do was a cursory internet search and it would spit out thousands of similar stories across the United States and Canada.
But the pain of that day and every day since then was real to Adam. The who, what, why and how were secondary to the fact that his life was never the same.
Tess reached out to him, cupping his jaw and drawing him close enough for their noses to brush in the most tender of touches. His eyes were dark and heavy with his sad memories and she wished she had the power to take some of this from him, to bear it herself.
“Adam, I’m not going to tell you that you shouldn’t feel that way or try to ease your pain with a saying from a really crappy greeting card. But I’m going to tell you what I know. Okay?” She waited for his nod, given jerkily in between the ragged intake of deep gulping breaths. “There was nothing you could have done to stop it. And not because you were just a child, only six years old. Your parents couldn’t have done anything. They weren’t connected, educated, powerful. They were poor and doing their best just like every other family. They went through a rough patch and had to reach out to social services for help and got on the radar of an overzealous case worker. The people who should have done better, who should have been better, decided that your family wasn’t good enough for you and your siblings. They also decided that they were above the law and the people who could have stopped them didn’t. So, yes, the owl was the sign of the terrible things that were coming for your family but they were going to happen whether you told anyone or not. And that is the truth.”
The moments slid one into the other. Adam stayed where he was, leaning on her for strength that she was ready and willing to give. It wasn’t a permanent thing, wasn’t a shift of what they were. This was what they were to each other, both strong people who’d had to bear more on their shoulders than what was normally required from a very young age. What they recognized was a kindred spirit, someone who understood a lot without being told.
This moment didn’t change what they could and couldn’t be for each other. It didn’t absolve her from her lies or the guilt and it wouldn’t shield her from his anger when he found out. It was just a moment. A really special moment. A few seconds of mutual understanding in the middle of a tangled mess of secrets.
“It’s the truth,” Adam agreed, his voice deeply etched by the remaining shards of glass that had cut him for so long. “But I don’t know if I did my brother and sister a favor by finding them. I sure as hell don’t know what to do with them now that they are back in my life. Family is a mystery to me.”
“Well, you all have that motorcycle obsession. Maybe you do a road trip?”
He huffed out a weak laugh. “Roan would probably say yes. Sarina would take the first exit and ditch us both.”
Tess sat back, taking the opportunity to push his hair back from his forehead, needing to maintain the physical connection between them. She loved touching Adam, craved the electric thrill that went through her whenever they connected. He made her feel...seen...wanted.
“Family is very hard.” She gave him a sidelong glance, nervous about giving away too much of herself. Afraid to let him get too close. “I think I told you that once.”
“You did.” He reached up, running a finger along her brow, down her cheekbone. “Sounded like you knew what you were talking about.”
Tess started shaking her head, her grin twisted with her reluctance to share. “You don’t want to hear about it.”
Adam leaned forward, pressing a sweet kiss to her mouth, barely a brush of lips, an exchange of breaths. “I showed you mine...come on, show me yours.”
Nine
It wasn’t right to push Tess.
Adam knew what it was like to have a secret you needed to keep close, parts of yourself that you didn’t want to share. He’d spent his entire life after his adoption guarding his real self from the world he’d been dropped into. Adam had never fit in, he’d always been on the outside. At school. In his new home. Nobody made any effort to ask him about his past, his family, his community. He’d given up after a while; it was easier just to bury himself in the books or sports. Easier to forget the memories that crept back in at night. Easier to forget the family he’d lost.
Justin had been the first person he let in. But he’d also been the first to give Adam the space to keep the secrets he needed to keep in order to survive.
So, he also knew how important it was to have people who respected the distance you needed to function under the weight of the secrets and the pain that went with them. But it didn’t stop him from wanting to know more about this woman who occupied his thoughts and made his body hard with need with just a glance.
But he wanted to know all of her secrets, all the things she hid behind her sexy smiles and bravado. Unlike Tess’s deep dive into his past, he hadn’t done a full background check on her when he’d hired her. Yes, he’d asked his security to check on her and they’d run a criminal scan, verified that her business and license were in order and legitimate, and that her references checked out. He had not had them give him a full dossier on her life, her background. It had felt sordid and unnecessary and overly intrusive. But now when every part of him screamed to get closer to this woman, he wished he’d received that file.
No, that was not the way he wanted to learn all the unique and special things that made Tess Lynch a woman who kept him awake at night.
He wanted her to tell him. Willingly. Because she wanted to make this connection with him too. It wasn’t keeping within their rules, just like the dinner out that he’d suggested earlier before he’d had a minute to think about it. The question had popped out, something that never happened. He wasn’t someone who made a habit of speaking without thinking long and hard about it. It was his strength or his weakness, depending on who you were. His business partners loved it. The women in his life, not so much.
But as soon as he’d said it, he wanted it. More time with Tess, no matter how he could get it.
But not this way.
“You know what? Don’t answer that.” He tucked a curl of hair behind her ear. “You don’t owe me that. Not just for l
istening to my story.”
Tess considered him, her green eyes taking him apart inch by inch. He didn’t shy away from it, he was man enough to take it. Her armor didn’t scare him.
“I have a sister too,” Tess began, her smile chagrined as she shook her head in an I-can’t-believe-I’m-doing-this way. “Her name is Mia and she’s making me prematurely gray.”
“Your parents? Is it just the two of you?”
Tess nodded, breaking eye contact to pull fluff he could not see off her skirt. “My mother was gone when Mia was a year old, I was five. My father passed when I was twenty. I raised Mia.”
“You got the teenage years,” he noted, relieved to see a smile twist up her full lips. “Not the best luck.”
“And she gave me fits. Sneaking out of the house, terrible boyfriends, even worse clothing and hairstyle choices. It’s a miracle we both survived.”
“And now?”
“She’s at college. Whip smart but still has horrible taste in men and clothes.” Tess shrugged, her grin more genuine this time, and his stomach flipped with the impact of it. “We didn’t have an easy time of it. My father was ill, mentally ill, and it made life hard at times. Mia’s success is a happy ending to all of that.”
“I’m so sorry. What did he do? Is Mia following in his footsteps? Did you?”
“What? No.” She waved him off, weaving her fingers with his as she avoided his eyes. This was where she buried the worst of it and he’d let her keep her skeletons where they were. “He was a scientist. An inventor.”
“All scientists are the kissing cousins of poets.”
Tess considered that, nodding her agreement in the end. “That must be true. He was as tortured as a poet. Broken dreams haunted him, things that had been taken from him chased him to the end.”
The pain in her voice was palpable, the words weaving a scent of bitterness in the air that he could almost smell and taste. There were also traces of anger in her tone. Understandable under the circumstances. Anger was something he understood very well.
“So, you see, I know firsthand that family can be hell.”
Tess rose from the chair and Adam took her hand, turning it over to kiss her palm, nipping the most tender part and making her squirm. Tess giggled and he wanted more of it, standing and leaning over to press kisses along her neck, her shoulder.
He pulled back and looked down at her, pleased to see the flush in her cheeks and the sparkle in her eyes. No more heavy talk tonight. They’d lived it once, they didn’t need to go through it again.
“So, dinner... Are you still thinking about? Can we be seen together in public now that I know you have a sister?” he teased, feeling the mood in the room lighten as her eyes lit up with shrewd humor.
“We just ate. How can you be hungry enough to talk about our next meal?”
“That’s not what I’m hungry for right now,” he said, the truth slipping out easily as the mood shifted again, sliding deeply and completely into something darker and needier.
Tess moved in closer to him, her hands sliding up his chest and around his neck, ensuring that every part of her body was flush against his.
“I love your body,” he growled, running his hands up and down every part of her he could reach. Her fine, full ass. Heavy, soft breasts. The curve of her hip. The soft velvet of her skin. “It should be illegal for anyone to look like you, Tess.”
“I could say the same about you, Adam Redhawk. You’re tempting enough to make me break all of my rules.”
“Really? You always seem to be in perfect control around me.”
“Then you’re not paying attention.” She considered Adam, a wicked gleam darkening her eyes to the deepest emerald as she stepped in even closer. If that was possible. As it was, he wasn’t sure where he began and she ended. “I think you’re hot.”
“Good to know, but I don’t think my looks rock your control.”
Tess let loose with the tiniest hint of a smile, transforming her expression into the epitome of pure sin. “Your taste. I can’t get it off my tongue. I’m always craving more.”
He groaned as she leaned in closer, her lips just a breath away from his own. Adam leaned in to close the distance but Tess inched back. He moved in again and she shifted back a hair’s breadth, dragging another groan out of him, this one of frustration. He lifted his hands to her face, anchoring her in place as he took his turn to play the game, coming close but not sealing their mouths together.
Now it was Tess’s turn to moan, her breath coming fast on a pant that heaved her breasts into his chest with every inhale. Her pulse was visibly hammering under the delicate, pale skin of her throat. Adam dipped his head, unable to resist licking that spot, savoring her salty-sweet flavor.
“I want you to fuck me, Adam.”
Damn, that was exactly what he wanted too. The only thing that would satisfy this ache building deep inside him.
“Hell, yes. I want that too. Your legs wrapped around me, your nails digging into my back. Your screams passing over these lips.” Adam reached out with his tongue, tracing the full plumpness of her lips, capturing her own moan on the tip and savoring the taste of her surrender.
He glanced up at the glass walls of his office and was reminded of the reason he’d never had sex with her here. Security wouldn’t be making rounds at this time of night but anybody who decided to walk by would see them.
“I should take you down to your office,” he said.
“Too far. I don’t care about anyone seeing us. I just want you, Adam.” Tess reached down between them and ran a hand up and down the length of his erection. “I’ve always wanted to have you fuck me in your office.”
“Damn it, Tess,” he whispered, the only warning she was going to get about how this was going to go down. Hot. Intense. Passionate. The way it always was between them, but every time they touched it burned hotter the next time. Her breath caught just before he angled his head and took her mouth.
The kiss was hard and hungry, lips bruising and teeth clashing as they devoured each other. After weeks of total access to each other’s bodies and mouths nothing between them had cooled down. Tess moaned into the kiss, wrapping her hands around his neck and pulling him in closer, as if her next breath depended on his being as close to her as possible. Adam echoed her movement, hands cupping her ass to drag her closer as he sought to dominate her, possess her.
With them it would never be easy, only complete and total surrender would satisfy this craving and neither of them would give in to that. They’d both been burned too much and too often.
But they’d get as close as they could, feeding off each other’s need until this fire between them died.
Tess broke off the kiss first, her breasts rising and falling as she struggled to catch her breath. She licked her lips, pink and kiss swollen, and he wanted nothing more than to see them wrapped around his cock.
“I want that too. So much,” Tess answered and he realized that he had spoken the words aloud.
He groaned again as her hands traveled over his body, stopping to wrap around his neck and pull him down to her. This time Tess took over the kiss, slanting her lips over his and sliding her tongue into his mouth. This time it was slower, softer, Tess exerting her power in this thing between them, controlling the gradual buildup of passion and possession. It turned him on, compelling him to slide his hands over her ass, angling their hips forward, finding the perfect position to grind his erection into her body.
It was bewitching. Intoxicating. Addictive. He explored the curves of her body with his hands, cupping her breasts in his palms, thumbs rubbing against the hard nipples straining against the soft fabric of her dress.
Tess released his mouth, her palms pressed firmly against his chest as she eased him backward toward the sofa. When his knees hit the edge of the seat cushion, she gave him a firmer push, forcing him to sprawl
on the sofa, legs spread open in blatant invitation.
He wanted Tess. No hiding it.
Tess leaned over him, her lips close enough to his own that they were exchanging sharp, shallow pants of breath. Adam raised his hand, stroking up the side of her bare leg, under her skirt, under the silky material of her panties.
The first touch of his fingers against the wet, slick heat of her body had them both gasping, teeth biting into lower lips in anticipation of what was to come. The second slide of skin upon skin had Tess’s eyes easing shut, her body swaying into his caress, silently begging for more. Adam kept his focus on her face, soaking in every erotic turn of her expression, burning them all into his memory.
“Ohhhhh noooo.” Tess opened her eyes, stepping back and out of his reach, her head shaking back and forth. “Naughty boy. You’re not going to distract me. Hands down. Stay put.”
Adam chuckled at her tone, contemplating whether to let her run this show but realizing that he was never in control of any situation with Tess.
Tess walked back a few paces, staring down at him, her eyes dark emerald with need but assessing, full of all the wicked plans she had on her mind. He clenched his hands at his sides, determined to sit back and see what she would do to him.
“I feel like I’m overdressed for this activity,” Tess murmured, her fingers drifting over the edge of the V-neck of her dress, between her breasts, and down to where her dress tied at the side. A quick movement and her dress opened, sliding to the floor at her feet in a swoosh of fabric and leaving her standing before him in nothing but a gorgeous black bra and panty set, a gold necklace, high heels and a sinful grin. “Much better.”
Taking On The Billionaire (Mills & Boon Desire) (Redhawk Reunion, Book 1) Page 7
