Confessions (Tattoos & Tears Book 3)

by Amiee Louise

  “Yep, all clear down here, I can’t see her. I’ll do a final sweep of the building, but it’s a negative that she’s here. I swear that boy is losing the plot.”

  Bollocks, it’s Cole. I pull my hood up to shield my face and slow my pace. Shit, shit, shit. Think, Harper, think. I hear footsteps getting closer, and I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding as he walks right past me. I can’t get away quick enough.

  Fuck. That was way too close. I need to go call Remy and forget this ever happened. I need to go back to Remy, back to Santa Monica, back to my new life, a life without Sam Newbolt in it.

  ***

  I have not been up long, when I am snuggled on the sofa in the hotel room with Remy and my morning cup of coffee. We are watching reruns of Supernatural, getting lost in Sam and Dean's world of monsters and demons. Freddie is still asleep in his travel cot in the bedroom. Today is one of those lazy duvet days, days where I do nothing but veg out on the sofa and watch T.V box sets on Netflix. Pure heaven.

  I am reminded every day of Sam and the life I left behind in London. I can’t help but feel bitter every time I see his beautiful, stupid, arrogant fucking face smiling back at me from the T.V screen. My head is all over the place right now, and I’m not thinking straight. I shift closer to Remy, and he looks down at me with such a tender look in his eyes. It breaks my heart.

  “You ok, beaut?” he whispers.

  I don’t know what comes over me, but before I realise what I’m doing, I’m crushing my lips eagerly to Remy’s. Each stroke of his tongue with mine is a symbol of the past year. It begins to release all the pent-up sexual tension that has been slowly building between us. As Remy crushes his lips even more desperately to mine, I can feel every single one of his emotions, just by the touch of his lips on mine. His tongue wrestles with mine as his kiss becomes more heated. He presses me closer to him until I can feel his steel erection digging in my stomach. His hands are holding me to him, as if he is terrified I am going to run. I wrap my hand in his long brown hair and a deep growl rumbles from within his throat. He pulls away from our kiss and rests his forehead on mine. My heart beat starts to quicken, and the look in Remy’s brown eyes is smouldering.

  "Make me stop, because if you don't, we're both going to do something we'll regret."

  We are both breathing heavily, and if an onlooker were to see us, they would see the glazed look in both of our eyes, the mussed tangle of our hair, and the bruising of our lips.

  "I don't want you to stop, Remy, I need you."

  The husky purr of my voice doesn’t sound like my own, but I do need him. I need him to ease the ache between my legs; I need to fuck him out of my system, once and for all.

  Over the past year, our relationship has been based on friendship and purely platonic. But, somewhere over time, it has become something more, and the lines have become blurred. It’s as if Remy is somehow jealous of the amount of time I have spent thinking about Sam and over analysing our relationship. As if, he has been hiding his feelings for me, after all the years we spent apart.

  "Don't say things you don't mean, beaut, I couldn't bear it," he says with a pained expression on his beautiful, chiselled face, which is so similar to his sister’s.

  "Don't make me beg, Rem," I say with determination.

  Remy nods curtly and grabs my hand in his, dragging me into the bedroom without waking Freddie. He stalks towards me, like a predator stalking his prey and the look in his eyes tells me all I need to know, he wants me. We start frantically tearing and clawing at each other’s clothes, with a desperate want. It doesn’t take us long until we are naked. Remy’s eyes shamelessly roaming over my body.

  “Fuck me, your tits are...fucking perfect.”

  I chuckle softly as his mouth descends down on my nipple. He sucks my nipple into his mouth and our moment is interrupted as I hear the sound of the T.V in the background. He must have forgotten to switch it off.

  “Reports are just coming in that Samson Newbolt, frontman of popular rock band Rancid Vengeance, has just been admitted to the hospital after being kidnapped and falsely imprisoned by former manager John Dalton, also known as Johnnie Diamond, son of late record company mogul, Jed Dalton.”

  My head snaps up as I hear Sam's name, and the moment is lost. I clamber off Remy, and I turn the volume up on the T.V.

  “Dalton, thirty-eight, kidnapped and stabbed Newbolt. Police found him collapsed along FDR Drive, near to the Harlem River, with stab wounds. Bolt, as he is known to his die-hard fans, has been taken to a nearby hospital and his stab wounds are not thought to be serious or life-threatening. The NYPD traced the cell phone, which made the anonymous 911 call, to an abandoned warehouse where Dalton was found.”

  I watch the screen in shock at the events that are unfolding. J.D kidnapped Sam? I see a video of the police dragging J.D out of the warehouse. He is badly beaten and thrashing violently against his handcuffs. His icy cold gaze makes my stomach roil and brings back memories of a time I would rather forget.

  “Police reports say that Dalton admitted to murdering Mr. Newbolt’s fiancée, Peyton Harper. Harper, twenty-seven and the daughter of former model Sophia Bailey, was three months pregnant with Newbolt’s baby. The police have taken Mr. Dalton into custody for further questioning and refuse any further comment.”

  He laughs maniacally at the camera as the police bundle him into the back of the police car. A cold chill runs down my spine as I remember that terrifying laugh, a laugh that has haunted my nightmares. I am shaken by the news reporter’s words. Is it possible that J.D lied about Sam wanting me dead?

  I watch the pictures from the screen unfolding in front of me. I am shaking and crying uncontrollably now. Christ, I feel like I want to throw up. Is it possible that this past year has all been for nothing? A terrible mistake on my part? My head is all over the place, and I feel Remy’s strong, corded, comforting arm around my shoulder, supporting me.

  “Beaut?” he says with concern in his voice.

  I can’t comprehend what I have just seen and heard on the T.V. Remy pulls me into his bare chest, softly soothing me just with the sound of his voice.

  “Beaut, talk to me.”

  I am speechless, and my thoughts are racing at a million miles an hour. Has this past year really all been for nothing?

  “Are you ok?”

  I look up at him with glazed eyes.

  “What the fuck have I done, Rem?”

  I sob, and Remy strokes my hair so softly that it makes me cry harder. Here I am, in a hotel room with the man that has taken care of my baby and me for the past year, about to have sex for the first time in eleven years. Then there’s Sam, the man who I spent some of the best days of my life with, the father of my child, and the man who I was tricked into believing he wanted me dead. Instead of returning to him and asking him if it was true, I automatically took the word of a complete psycho over the man I was supposed to be so in love with. It feels like both parts of my life are colliding in a spectacular, disastrous, potentially life-altering fashion.

  Fuck, how can I make this right? Will I ever make it right? As Remy comes back into the room, with Freddie in his arms, I get up from the bed with a renewed purpose. I know what I have to do; I have to go to him.

  16

  Peyton

  Present

  I must make him understand. I have to make it right, because right now, I can’t stand the way he looks at me. His usual sparkling, intense green gaze has been replaced by coldness and indifference. He looks at me as if I am a total stranger, as if I am nothing to him and all those months we spent together never happened. Ever since I arrived, I have been met with nothing but hostility from the Newbolt’s. I can’t say I blame them, but they have to hear my side.

  I have spent so long craving his touch and to feel his strong, safe, warm, arms around me. I have spent every day in conflict with my own thoughts. Part of me hates Sam for what J.D made me believe. Another part of me is desperately wishing things could hav
e been different and is silently praying for things to go back to the way they used to be.

  I have been waiting for this moment to arrive, the moment where he can tell me that everything J.D said was a lie. Where I can be back in his arms, where I belong. I ache to feel his lips against mine and the way his hard-muscled body feels pressed into mine. He snaps me out of my reverie, and his intense green eyes lock with mine. He is visibly trembling, and I’m not sure if it’s the effects of his medication or the anger he is rightly feeling.

  “You kept him from me, this whole fucking time?”

  The cold tone of his voice cuts through my thoughts.

  “I had no other fucking choice, Sam! It was too dangerous! I couldn’t risk J.D finding us, please, you have to understand,” I plead.

  He holds his finger up and runs his uninjured hand frantically through his hair, my pleas falling on deaf ears.

  “No, no, let me try to process this. You not only made me think you were dead, but while I was fucking breaking down and pushing everyone away because I was grieving for you, you had my baby and kept him from me for six fucking months! That wasn’t your fucking decision to make, Peyton! We created that baby together! Don’t you think I deserved to know? What kind of monster are you? You fucking robbed me of the first six months of my son’s life!” he roars, and as I listen to his words, the tears start to flow uncontrollably. Everything he is saying is true. How the fuck am I going to fix this mess?

  “Jesus fucking Christ, Peyton. I should have been there! You fucking robbed me of seeing him enter the world, his first breath, his first smile, and his first tears,” he says through clenched teeth, as his nostrils flare. He shakes his head and scrubs his hand down his face. “You’re a selfish fucking bitch do you know that, Peyton?”

  My heart constricts at his cruel words and the look in his eyes completely destroys me. I can’t bear the fact that I have caused this, it’s all my fault.

  “JUST GET THE FUCK OUT; I REALLY CAN’T BE AROUND YOU RIGHT NOW!” he shouts, and I run out of the room crying.

  I expected him to be angry and I don’t blame him. I am in the corridor at the hospital, suddenly I feel so lost and so alone in this moment, but he has to understand. I know it was selfish, but I didn’t want this; I never wanted any of it. Not for him, me or our baby boy. I have spent a whole year believing he wanted me gone and looking over my shoulder because I was so terrified J.D would find us.

  17

  Peyton

  A Year Ago

  Even though I have probably only been here for a couple of hours, it feels like days. I am tied to a chair with cable ties, and no matter how much I cry, I beg, and I plead, it does no good at all. I am helpless, completely fucking helpless.

  He is pacing the floor in front of me now, his eyes wide and glossy. He actually looks mental and totally unhinged, like a complete fucking lunatic. I struggle hopelessly against my restraints.

  “Stop struggling, bitch, you won’t get away from me, I won’t fucking let you,” he yells, and I sob softly. “Stop fucking snivelling,” he spits harshly, and he circles me.

  “You’re just like all the other girls that have been in his bed, pretty for the first couple of months, then gradually he gets bored and moves onto the next. While he was seeing you, I arranged for some girls to sleep with him. You see, because of his depression, he has an insatiable sexual appetite, and you just weren’t enough to satisfy him. You weren’t quite doing it for him, you weren't quite hitting the spot for him, and our Sammy has...very specific tastes.”

  With those words, I feel my heart constrict in my chest. He’s lying, he’s playing mind games. He is a manipulative, evil liar. Breathe, Harper.

  “No...No, you’re fucking lying; it’s not true Sam wouldn’t do that, he loves me.”

  He laughs maniacally.

  “Oh please, he’s just like the rest of the men in the world, darlin’. Only he’s Sam Newbolt, he can do whatever he wants and get away with it, because he fucking can!” he spits and folds his arms as he comes to a stop in front of me.

  “You’re definitely our Sammy’s type though, without a shadow of a doubt. Brunette, check, pretty eyes, check, impressive tits, check and I’ll bet you’ve got a pretty pussy too.”

  He moves closer to me. I can feel and smell his stale, alcohol breath on my cheek. He strokes my face with his fingers, and I buck violently against the restraints.

  “DON’T YOU FUCKING TOUCH ME!” I scream, and he presses his forehead against mine.

  “Ah, there’s that fire that Sammy kept talking about, I can definitely see why he kept you around longer than the others.”

  He moves his hand down and roughly gropes my breast in his hand, causing me to wince in pain. He moves down to my stomach and lingers on my small bump. As his hand makes contact with my stomach, my mothering instinct kicks in.

  “Don’t you dare fucking touch my baby,” I say through clenched teeth, and all I want to do is protect my baby from this evil monster.

  “I’m just saying hello to Sam’s spawn, if it even is Sam’s spawn,” he accuses.

  How fucking dare he.

  “This baby is one million percent Sam’s, and if you hurt him or her, I swear on my life I will fucking kill you.”

  He laughs hysterically.

  “You’ll kill me? Who’s the one tied to the chair, sweetheart?”

  I buck against the restraints again to no avail, and he laughs maniacally.

  “I have to take a dump, feel free to amuse yourself while I’m gone.”

  He winks and strides off out of the room. I look around taking in my surroundings; I am in some sort of storage facility. There are no windows, but I can make out a large set of storage shelves and a small table to the left side of the room. The darkness is an eerie sort of darkness. I feel my heartbeat start to quicken and that is when the tears start to fall. I am terrified that we are not going to make it out of here.

  “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry boo, I promise I’ll protect you with my life, I won’t let anyone hurt you. Mummy will get us out of here,” I whisper to my baby, wishing I could believe my words and close my eyes.

  I picture Sam’s sparkling green eyes and his dimples, his hard, inked, muscular body and the way he looked at me, as if I was the only woman in the world. That thought will get me through anything.

  ***

  I’m not sure how much time passes, but I am shaken by the cold chill of J.D’s voice.

  “Wakey, wakey, bitch. Round fucking two.”

  I look up, his eyes are wide, glossy and he is sweating profusely. If I am not mistaken, he has been taking cocaine. He goes to retrieve something from the other side of the room and moves back over to me. He crouches down in front of me and pulls the blade he used on me from behind his back. I flinch as it comes into view and he smirks.

  “Say hello to my little friend.”

  He mimics the famous Scarface line, and I swallow back the lump that has formed in my throat. He holds the knife in front of his face and looks at it in awe. He examines it and runs his finger along the knife-edge.

  “Sam says hello, by the way. I called him while I was gone, and he asked me to send his love.”

  My eyes widen, and my blood runs cold. Sam knows I’m here?

  “He...he...he knows I’m here?” I ask with disbelief in my voice, and he laughs.

  “Of course, he does, sweetheart, he asked me to kidnap you, and he asked me to make sure you didn’t make it to the gig. He said he wanted to break up with you, so him and me could finally be together. I knew he would see sense in the end, I told you, you were just a stopgap, something pretty to fill the time. He said I’m welcome to do whatever I want with you, I can kill you if I want, kill you and the demon spawn inside of you. He never wanted you, it’s always been me.”

  As he says those words, my whole world feels like it has crashed down around me. I am truly crushed. Why would Sam do this? Why? I thought he loved me? All these months he’s been stringin
g me along? Because what? Because he’s gay? Because he’s in love with J.D? His grating laugh snaps me out of my thoughts, and he starts clapping.

  “Well done! You’re finally getting it, sweetheart! All the pieces are at long last falling into place!” he says brightly and claps his hands animatedly.