Confessions (Tattoos & Tears Book 3)

by Amiee Louise

  I smile; she returns my smile, and somewhere in those beautiful blue eyes, I see a glimpse of the woman I fell in love with.

  “In answer to your question, no I’m not fucking him; Remy is Ruby’s older brother, and he’s...just been a really good friend to me.”

  I smile a genuine smile, and my shoulders sag with relief at hearing her say those words.

  “He was there...when I really needed a friend. I was so alone; all I wanted was to get on a plane back to London, let myself into your apartment and snuggle up in bed next to you.”

  The truth is after she ‘died’ I couldn’t bear to be in the apartment without being reminded of her everywhere I went. Every room had a memory of her in it. So, I sold the building to a billionaire CEO called Nolan Wilder, who was looking to set roots down in London. I moved out to Sawbridgeworth in Hertfordshire, just over nine months ago, to get out of the rat race that is London. As a condition of his release from rehab, Brody lives with me too. He has his own wing of the house, and the arrangement suits us both. It has become a sanctuary for us, and it is the epitome of the phrase ‘bachelor pad’, with our own cinema room, game room, pool table, swimming pool, and hot tub.

  “The bloke who lives there now would have had a shock if you had crawled into bed with him! I don’t live in the apartment anymore, angel.”

  I say with an amused tone to my voice and her eyes widen.

  “You loved that place.”

  I smile at her sentiment and shrug nonchalantly.

  “It’s just bricks and mortar, babe; just four walls and a roof. I sold up and moved into a nine-bedroom mansion in Hertfordshire with Brody. Everywhere I went in that apartment, I saw you: in the bedroom, in the bathroom, in the studio, on the balcony, in the kitchen. Fuck, your ghost literally haunted me for months, so I had to leave. I had no other choice. I tried so hard, but I couldn’t fucking bear it, I had to for my own sanity.”

  I shake my head to rid myself of the thoughts of the dark place I ended up in after her death. My heartbeat quickens, and she looks at me questioningly.

  “I know I don’t have the right, but there’s something you’re not telling me, Sam Newbolt.”

  She narrows her eyes and I smile. My smart girl.

  “No getting anything past you is there?”

  Her shy smile reminds me of the day we met, the way she looked at me, the sly glances and the way her hands felt on me as she was tattooing me.

  22

  Sam

  The Day They Met

  I’ve been on the leather bed being tattooed by her for over an hour. Every time her hands make contact with my skin, I feel like I am on fucking fire. She feels it too, I know she does. I know I should just stop fucking about and ask her out. Usually, I wouldn’t hesitate, but she’s turned me into a fucking pussy within the matter of a couple of hours. The doorbell of the shop chimes to signal someone entering, and I look up. Peyton stops tattooing me, and she looks up at the same time. A tall, leggy, olive-skinned, brunette walks in, her heels clicking across the floor. She has bought coffee, and she comes closer to us as she greets Peyton.

  “Hey, sweetie.”

  She smiles; she’s gorgeous, but not as gorgeous as the girl in front of me.

  “Hey, babe.”

  My body feels bereft as she moves her hands away from me. She kisses Peyton on the cheek.

  “I bought you some coffee; I thought you could do with a break.”

  Peyton takes the coffee from her friend, takes off the lid and sips the steaming liquid. Her shoulders visibly relax, but I’m too enamoured by this beautiful creature to notice anything else going on around me. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me. I swing my leg off the bed and lean down close to her.

  “Can I get a sip of that please, darlin’. I’m spitting feathers,” I boldly ask her, fully expecting her to say no.

  She politely offers me the cup, and I take a long sip of the warm liquid. It is way too sweet for me, but it fits her perfectly.

  “Thanks, babe.”

  I wink and flash her a dimpled grin. Nicely done, you fucking smoothie you! Go in for the kill, Newbolt, just ask her. What’s the worst that can happen?

  “Do you fancy coming out with me when you’re done? Maybe I could take you to dinner? I can be very persuasive,” I rasp, and she bites her lower lip.

  Fuck me, that was easily the most erotic thing I have ever seen, and my cock instantly comes to life. Easy fella!

  “Are you fucking with me?”

  She lowers her voice, and my face turns deadly serious. How can she possibly think I’m joking? How can she not know how beautiful she is?

  “I never fuck about when it comes to a beautiful woman, babe.”

  She seems to think about my answer, and she pauses for a few seconds, giving me time to actually take her in. Her blue eyes are captivating. They say eyes are the windows to the soul, and I can sense that she’s been hurt in the past. I’ve seen that look before.

  “Sorry, I don’t date arrogant, cocky rockers, it’s not my style,” she quips, and I smile.

  So that’s the way she’s going to play it? Game on, sweetheart.

  “Playing hard to get, ok I can deal with that,” I say in my calmest voice.

  I get back up on the bed, and she continues tattooing me as if nothing has happened. My body is rejoicing at feeling her hands on me once more. It has been such a long time since I have had a proper relationship, but there is something about this woman that makes me want to try. Engage her in conversation Newbolt; show her you’re just a normal, regular guy.

  “So, how long have you worked here?”

  Is that all you’ve got? Fucking pathetic, totally lame, must try harder.

  She sighs.

  “Are we really going to do this? The small talk, like you’re really interested in a girl like me.”

  I frown, and I want to physically hurt the guy that hurt her in the past to make her doubt herself so badly.

  “Just because you see my life splashed all over the tabloids, doesn’t mean you get to judge me. I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t genuinely interested, babe, seriously.”

  I roll my eyes, and I’m actually hurt. All I want is for her to just give me a chance to show her I’m not the bad boy rocker the newspapers make me out to be.

  “I’m sorry, it’s just...”

  I stop her. Try again dude, second times a charm.

  “Come out with me, please.”

  She shakes her head.

  “I’m not going to be subjected to fangirls swooning over you, interrupting us for photos and autographs at every available opportunity.”

  I laugh mischievously, and it seems to disarm her momentarily. She’s actually jealous; keep going you’ll break down her defences eventually.

  “Is that jealousy I sense?”

  She rolls her eyes, and I smirk wickedly.

  “Why would I be jealous, I hardly know you?”

  Keep denying it, darlin’, I’ve got all day. I bite my lip piercing seductively, as my eyes lock with hers.

  “Green is a colour that definitely suits you, babe,” I say in my husky tone and her neck muscles contract. She’s so fucking affected by me.

  “You seem to have forgotten my name again, you keep calling me babe. It’s ok, my name is Peyton. Do you need me to spell it for you? It begins with a P.”

  Whoa! I was definitely not expecting that! I hear snickers from the boys across the shop. I’m glad my predicament is amusing, you bunch of fuckers.

  “Stop busting his balls, babe and give the guy a chance.”

  I look across the shop at her friend; she seems to be sticking up for me.

  “It seems you’ve forgotten her name too, sweetheart.”

  I banter back, and she cocks her perfectly groomed eyebrow at me.

  “Oh yeah, silly me, my mistake. I’m sorry Peyton.”

  She emphasises her name, accentuating the ‘P’ and narrows her eyes at Peyton. I smile.

  “Are
you usually like this around other guys, or is it just me?”

  I am curious to know, and she seems stunned into silence. I think she might have met her match with me, because the way she’s looking at me, tells me she isn’t used to being called out on her behaviour.

  “Wow, no wonder you’re single, assuming you are single? God help the guy if he puts up with you, Miss High Maintenance. He must have the patience of a saint,” I say sarcastically, and I didn’t mean for that to come out as harsh as it did.

  Shit! Nice one Newbolt, dick move. Engage your brain, before you engage your extremely large fucking mouth. She stops tattooing me and slams her tattoo machine down on the table with a clatter. She rips off her gloves, and she can’t even bring herself to look at me. Fucking fuck!

  “I’m taking a break,” she snaps and storms to the back of the shop.

  I instantly feel bad for making her feel that way. She probably thinks I’m exactly like the rest of the male population and she’s never going to agree to go out with me now. I’m such a fucking dickhead. Her friend casually walks over to me, and I feel instantly calmed by the smell of her perfume. How do women do that? She brushes my arm, in an affectionate gesture. Her big brown eyes look up at me, and she smiles warmly. She definitely doesn’t make my dick twitch like Peyton does. That’s a good thing...I think!

  “Don’t worry, babe, she’s not usually like that. I think it’s her way of letting you know she likes you, it’s sort of…a defence mechanism.”

  She explains as I smile and nod.

  “She’s been hurt badly in the past, it’s not you, she’s just overly cautious when it comes to men in general, that’s all. Don’t take it personally, babe.”

  She beams, and as she says those words, I immediately want to bury the guy who hurt her so badly.

  “I’m Ruby, by the way.”

  She offers me her hand, and I take it. I don’t get the electricity as she touches me, Peyton is definitely something special.

  “Sam,” I introduce myself in an amused tone, and she nods.

  “I know who you are, I’m a huge fan.”

  She giggles nervously, and instead of her giggling being annoying, I find it endearing. I throw my head back and laugh. Her eyes roam to the other end of the shop and stop on Jax. She’s definitely hot for him, and by the way, he’s eye-fucking her. The feeling is definitely more than reciprocated.

  “I could put in a word with Jax, if you like? You did me a favour by trying to stand up for me back there; it’s a fair trade I’d say.”

  She smiles shyly and nods. She leans in, as if she is sharing a secret with me, and whispers in my ear.

  “She loves Italian food, and her favourite dish is chicken, bacon, and mushroom Alfredo, hold the parmesan. Just don’t tell her I told you.”

  I laugh and wink cheekily at her.

  “Thanks for the tip, sweetheart, I really appreciate it.”

  I instantly like her, something about her tells me that she is more of a sister to Peyton than a friend.

  “I like you, now get after her, hot stuff!”

  She winks and struts off across the shop towards Jax. I stand up and walk with purpose to the back of the shop. I have to make it right with her; she makes me feel things I haven’t felt in a long time. I hang back, watching her wage an internal war with herself. Even in profile she’s beautiful. She’s short, but perfectly in proportion. Her button nose, her soft plump lips, her huge breasts, her flat stomach, and her gorgeous arse. I’ve got it so bad. I move closer to her, and she lowers her head as if she senses my presence. I tower over her small frame and lean casually in the doorway. Don’t grovel, be cool.

  “Look, I’m really sorry, Peyton; I didn’t mean to be such a dick.”

  She shakes her head, and by the look on her face, she’s still mad at me. Ok, now might be a good time to start grovelling.

  “I’m not usually like this around people, women in particular, I’m complete and utter mush around you. Ever since I set foot in the shop and laid eyes on you, you do something to me, Peyton. I’ve never felt like this before, like ever.”

  See, that wasn’t so hard, was it? A bit of honesty and sincerity, that’s what women like, right?

  She looks up at me, but she cheekily banters back.

  “Was that a line?”

  God, this woman is going to be the fucking death of me! I laugh.

  “You caught me! I think it might have been!”

  We both laugh, and I brush her arm, feeling the familiar electricity crackling between us. Our eyes lock, and I can’t look away.

  “Please tell me it’s not my imagination, you feel it, too don’t you?” I whisper, and I notice my hand is still on her arm.

  I lean close to her, and my stubble grazes her cheek. I expect her to put some distance between us, but she doesn’t. She wants you, Newbolt. Move in for the kill.

  “I’ll ruin you, Peyton.”

  My voice is gruff, and our eyes lock. Neither of us can look away. My heart starts thundering in my chest, and she bites her lip. Fuck.

  “Maybe I want you to.”

  I smile wickedly, and a growl rumbles from deep within my chest. Great, she probably thinks I’m going to club her over the head and drag her back to my man cave, by her hair.

  “Is that a challenge?”

  She’s flirting, just go with it, Newbolt. I raise a pierced eyebrow, and I laugh. Third time lucky.

  “Please, come out with me,” I whisper huskily.

  “Ok, I’ll come out with you.”

  I am doing my inner manly victory dance, and I tuck a strand of her soft, dark, hair behind her ear.

  “I’ll see you at seven then.”

  A look of satisfaction crosses my face. I have never tried with a woman before, and it feels good. She folds her arms, and her teeth chatter from the afternoon chill. Make your move, Newbolt.

  “Are you cold?”

  She nods, as her teeth chatter.

  “Just a little...actually I’m bloody freezing!”

  We both laugh, and I silently wrap my arms around her, unable to stop myself. I pull her close to my chest, she feels so good in my arms. Her scent envelopes me, as I run my hands up and down her back. I can feel goose bumps break out across her smooth tattooed skin.

  “There’s something between us, Peyton.”

  I know she feels it too, she’s desperately trying to deny it, but I can see it clearly. She looks up at me as if she’s taking me in.

  “You feel it, too don’t you? I know you do, the way your eyes glaze over when I’m near you,” I whisper and bury my nose in her hair. She smells so good, of strawberries and tropical fruit.

  She wraps her arms tighter around me and pulls me closer to her, by the hair at the nape of my neck. She presses her lips greedily to mine and kisses me as if her life depends on it. The contrast of her soft lips on mine and the way her tongue erotically strokes mine instantly arouses me, and I feel my erection press against her thigh. She pulls away, and we’re both breathless. That wasn’t what I was expecting. Fuck my life.

  “I’m sorry...I...”

  Why is she apologising? That was probably the single best kiss of my life. The way her lips felt, the way her hands subconsciously ran through my hair, the way she gripped onto my biceps and the soft, delicious, erotic moan that escaped her as she stroked my tongue with hers. She runs her fingers across her lips, and I start to imagine what those lips would look like wrapped around my cock as she’s taking my length in her beautiful mouth. Her eyes are blazing with arousal, and I don’t think I’m able to speak. I clear my throat and find my voice.

  “Don’t be sorry, I’m not.”

  She looks at me and shakes her head. She hurries back inside, leaving me standing there, with a satisfied grin plastered across my face.

  23

  Sam

  Present

  “We spent seven months together, why the fuck are you acting like we’re strangers, angel?” I question, and she reluctantly loo
ks up at me, from beneath her eyelashes.

  “Because everything’s changed now, Sam. I’ve changed, you’ve changed...fuck. We’re someone’s parents now, don’t you get that?”

  I still can’t get my head around the fact, that while I thought she was dead, she gave birth to my baby. Our baby, my son. She takes her phone from her pocket and starts tapping at the screen. She moves closer to the bed and shows me a picture on her phone. As soon as I see the picture, I instantly fall in love with the little boy on the screen, and I can’t find my breath. Jesus fucking Christ. The little boy on the screen is my double; he has my cheeky dimples, the brightest green sparkling eyes and wild tufts of black hair. I swallow back the golf ball size lump in my throat before I speak and blink back the tears threatening to track their way down my cheeks.